Title: Things Fall Apart – Chapter 3

Rating: G

Disclaimers: Characters all belong to someone else, etc.

Author's comment: This is a bridging chapter, giving the bare bones of the story to come. Not a lot happens, there is some character exploration and interaction. I had to rewrite it at least three times as different ideas presented themselves later in the plot, so I hope I haven't contradicted myself anywhere.

Spoiler alert for anyone who may not have seen the unaired episodes in the US.

For those who may not know where I got it from….

'Turning and turning in the widening gyre The falcon cannot hear the falconer; Things fall apart; the center cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world, The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere The ceremony of innocence is drowned; The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity.'

(excerpt from The Second Coming, W.B. Yeats)

Predictably the offices that housed the local law enforcement looked like they were under siege. It took Mal and Zoe the better part of an hour to make their way through the throng of people spilling out into the street. When they eventually got through the door they could at least watch the newscasts while they waited, although there was little new to report. Communications were sketchy, which was about normal for a Reaver attack. The first thing they did was knock out the communications array.

It did seem that several passenger liners and transport vessels had managed to make it off the station. They were being escorted by a couple of Alliance warships as far as Helan, which was the nearest planet with a military base of any size. The reporter added that there was no news on the status of the Alliance’s new colony ship, the Serendipity, which had been berthed at Nexus 7 in preparation for her maiden voyage. She didn’t appear to be among those heading for Helan, although the reporter was carefully avoiding drawing any conclusions from this fact. The whereabouts of the Alliance’s flagship generated quite a lot of speculation amongst the watching crowd. A lot of local government budgets had taken cuts to fund her billion-credit construction fee. It hadn’t escaped Mal’s notice that sentiments about Serendipity could easily be divided between pro-Alliance and Independent.

An Alliance spokesman came on to the newscast – white haired, handsome in his dress uniform, his manner a mixture of geniality and condescension – saying how the Reavers had been perpetrating terrorist attacks in this sector of the galaxy for years. This attack was a little bolder than normal, but nothing new. They preferred hit-and-run tactics and always fled at the first sign of concerted resistance. It was unusual for them to attack an Alliance strong post like the Nexus 7 and they would soon be shown the error of their ways. He was sure this would all be cleared up by this time next day.

As Mal and Zoe elbowed their way through the last of the crowd towards the front desk, a harassed-looking man in uniform raised his voice to shout above the din. “Ain’t no-one callin’ it an evacuation, but Alliance on Helan just confirmed they’ll be takin’ in any civilians as wants to put some distance between themselves and the Reavers. Priority’s been given to securing settlements until this little ruckus is cleared up, but they ain’t got the manpower t’ be patrollin’ every ranch house in this sector so I’d suggest you take what you can carry an’ git. Sergeant says anyone who’s got a ship as can take an extra body ta volunteer to do so. Got a little incentive for those as do volunteer…” and as a slight expectant hush fell, the officer grinned. “You don’t get to explain to my Sergeant why you don’t.”

“I gotta ship,” Mal said with his best helpful smile. “Can fit about a hundred bodies on board, so long as they be travellin’ light.” The officer eyed him warily. “Name?” “Malcolm Reynolds.” The officer punched some keys on his palm com and squinted at the display, then fixed Mal with a glare. “Your ship’s Firefly class.” “Yup, that she is,” Mal agreed. “Could fit two hundred in one of them cargo holds,” the officer said accusingly. “Sergeant ain’t gonna look kindly on anyone sellin’ places to folks what’ve got a right to one free.” Mal looked affronted, but Zoe cut in quickly before he could speak. “Problem is we ain’t got the fuel, sir. Been runnin’ a little low on hire these past few weeks, tanks near enough empty. We’d like to volunteer sir, but we won’t be goin’ nowhere without someone can fill us up.” The officer’s face registered a world-weary cynicism. “I’ll go see what I can do for you good citizens,” he sighed.

He headed into a back room and Mal leaned an arm against the desk, muttering, “These are hard times, man’s got to think of makin’ a livin’. Did you notice that he left his radio behind?” He asked Zoe under his breath. She watched the officer’s retreating back and replied, “That I did, sir.” Mal leaned both arms on the counter, angling his head so that he could hear the coms chatter better over the noise of the crowd.

The first voice he heard had a tone he immediately assigned to a man standing watching the newscasts from this side of the galaxy. “…medical teams, ground and air support. Repeat, removal of civilians to Helan in progress, request confirmation of estimated arrival time for reinforcements, over.” “….that’s a negative, negative…estimate seventy-two hours to rendezvous. Alliance forces rerouted…Nexus 5…no further support possible at this time. Over.” There was a silence, then a cautious question as though the man hadn’t quite believed the answer. “Sir, please confirm that you understood we are unable to lend further assistance to Nexus 7 at this time.” “Confirmed. Priority given…secure settlements, any and all means…. Over.” “Seventy-two hours,” Zoe murmured. “Tzao gao, long time to wait for backup. Hope they’re right about this bein’ a little ruckus.” “‘Any and all means’. Think that means they’ll be formin’ a militia?” Mal asked in return. “Sir,” Zoe said softly, a warning in her voice.

Without looking up Mal stood and stretched slowly, then smiled at the officer approaching the desk. The man looked at him suspiciously and turned down the volume on his radio, but as he shouldn’t have left it there in the first place he made no issue of it. “You’ll have your fuel,” the officer said grudgingly. “Take this form to the depot, get them to sign it. There’ll be officers at the port makin’ arrangements for your passengers. Make sure an’ give them your name.”

Quickly scanning the content, Mal smiled grimly. Nothing like filling up on the Alliance’s expense account. Then, fighting the same sense of dread he’d had since he’d first heard, he finally made himself ask, “They got the names of those that got off the station yet?” The man looked at him with a slight change in expression that may have been sympathy. “Half this moon got someone on that station,” he said gruffly, and gestured left where a group of men were crowded around a pile of paper. “No confirmed casualties yet, but that’ll give you anyone who’s on their way to Helan.”

Mal got his turn with the list. He scanned it twice, put it down. “She on it, sir?” Zoe asked, although she already had an idea what the answer was from Mal’s set face. “Nope. She ain’t on it.” He strode out of the station, heedless of the people in his way. Zoe sighed as she watched him go, following more slowly in his wake.

They reached Serenity without exchanging a word. Wash was in the mess having a cup of coffee with the Shepherd. He watched Mal stalk past and asked Zoe softly, “No news then?” Zoe shook her head and continued on to their cabin. Wash followed as she knew he would. She got inside, waited for him to shut the door and let out a pent-up breath. “Gorram this go se ‘verse, how much more does it think it can take from a man?” Wash leant back against the door, watching her pace, his expression thoughtful. “You think it’s going to be bad?” Zoe stopped pacing and looked at him. She felt close to tears. “I just…don’t know how many more times he can come back from that place, Wash. I don’t know if he’s got it in him anymore. There’s so little left as it is…” Wash pushed himself away from the door and caught her hands, feeling her grip tighten fiercely and managing not to wince at her strength. “He’s got you. Us. Serenity.” She turned her head a little and he saw tears, “If anyone ever deserved God’s mercy,” she murmured. “Hey, bao bei,” his heart twisted at her pain and he pulled her into his arms. “We’re not gonna let him give up, you hear? We’re not gonna give up. This is a good thing we’ve got and it’s worth fighting for. Sometimes some of us are going to get weary, but there’s others of us can carry the load a while. That’s what family’s for. Dong ma?” She sniffed, resting her head on his shoulder. “So when did you get so philosophical?” She asked, holding on to him, drawing strength from him. “About the time you got all weepy and girlified on me,” he teased gently, then pulled back a little and brushed the tears from her face. He kissed her, then looked at her with an uncharacteristically sober expression. “It’s not about mercy, love. It’s not about justice or fate. It’s about makin’ the best way you can, takin’ the time to value what’s real and true in this cold, hard ‘verse. Like people you care about and who care about you.” He smiled a little, looking at her almost wonderingly. “You’re the one who told me that, remember? Mal’s got a good friend in you, a real friend. He’s a lucky man.” She put her hands on either side of his face and kissed him slowly. “I’m lucky too,” she whispered.

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It was pitch dark and the field was bathed in glaring white light from the floodlights on the Alliance cruiser parked in the middle of it. There were a dozen ships of all shapes and sizes scattered around the perimeter, and perhaps twice that many circling above. Serenity came in to land, Wash carefully juggling the controls to set her down gently. Didn’t want to upset those customers that’d paid to make their journey as smooth as possible.

Mal was first down the ramp, Shepherd Book behind him. Mal eyed the controlled chaos on the ground while Book gestured to a group of frightened and confused people standing in the hold, staring out at the darkness. “We’re here people, so it’s time to be moving. Slowly now, don’t want anyone loosing their feet on this ramp.” Zoe joined Mal, hands resting on hips. “Got themselves pretty well organized it seems,” she said as they watched a young man in Alliance uniform driving up on a scooter. “Yep. ‘Cept for the part where they have to wait seventy-two hours for reinforcements,” Mal said blandly as the Alliance officer stopped the scooter at the foot of the ramp, got out and walked over. As he got closer Mal revised the estimate of his age downwards, the kid couldn’t be more than 18. “Name and ship designation,” the boy said, not even looking at them but staring at the crowd descending the ramp with a weary resignation. Mal could almost feel sorry for him. It wasn’t even a day into this crisis and the kid thought he was tired? “Name’s Captain Malcolm Reynolds, ship’s Serenity. Got a hundred and eighty-eight evacuees from Peleg on board, hope you got somewhere to put them.” The boy stared at him, unamused. “There is no evacuation. This is a controlled removal of civilians. We’ll have the situation under control shortly.” “Looks like an evacuation to me, sir.” Zoe said calmly, taking in the crowded field. “You reading that speech off a card, son?” Mal asked. The soldier’s face flushed with annoyance. “Everyone’s to report to me before they exit the ship. Name and place of origin,” he snapped, taking out a palm com and busying himself with it, dismissing them without comment. “He’s gonna be a General without doubt,” Mal said under his breath to Zoe. She smothered a smile. To Mal’s relief the Shepherd took it upon himself to organize the mob, getting them to line up so that the young officer could take names. Mal watched for a bit, shook hands with a couple of the paying customers – the empty crew quarters and the shuttles had taken a few happy to hand over a little extra for some comfort and privacy on the eight-hour journey – and then told Zoe he was going to have a look see and get an update on things.

By now a couple of the faster cruisers that had made it away from Nexus 7 had landed and crowds of people were milling around the field of tents set up not far from the landing site. Mal made his way over there and had a wander around. There was a triage tent set up at the edge of the field away from the living quarters, and Mal could see that some of those taken off the Nexus 7 were soldiers. Injuries ranged from cuts and broken bones to burns and smoke-inhalation, and at the back he saw stretchers with bodies covered in white sheets. Not many, not yet. It looked like most of the injuries came from explosions or collapsing structures. Mal hazarded from this and from snippets of conversation that most of these soldiers had been helping evacuate the civilians. It didn’t seem that they’d seen much of their attackers.

A board had been posted with lists of those who’d reported in to the camp. The crowd was thick around it and Mal turned away, knowing that with the chaos the lists were very likely already out of date. The list of the dead wasn’t nearly as crowded, most people were still hoping those missing would turn up otherwise. Mal made himself look and then knew it was a mistake. Hope was like acid in his gut.

A command center had been set up not far from the Alliance cruiser. With the crowds it wasn’t difficult to make his way up fairly close, and he could see that he wasn’t the only one trying to find out a bit of information this way. There were men and woman, most silent or talking quietly, watching the activity in and around the tent with sharp eyes and grim expressions. Some wore brown coats and carried guns that were obviously well used. Others, civilians he would have guessed, had the blank look of those who’ve been awakened to a familiar nightmare.

He stepped up behind a couple of men, ranchers by the look of them, and nodded greeting. They introduced themselves, shook hands. “Hal Peterson, this here’s my brother Andy.” “Malcolm Reynolds. Anythin’ new?” Hal, a big man with hair going grey and a face that’d seen a lot of sun over a lot of years, shugged. “Depends. Got a couple of shiploads of refugees off that tin can, but not many’s makin’ much sense of what they saw. Lots of ships, all shapes ‘n sizes, didn’t seem ta be very well organized accordin’ to the soldiers. Still, three to one gives you a bit of leeway when it comes to organization.” “That it does,” Mal agreed. “That what the odds are?” Peterson grimaced, “Been a while since the war, they don’t keep as many troupes there as they used to. Best we can figure the Alliance got themselves half a dozen ships with any kind of armament stationed at Nexus 7, the rest are all cargo or transport.” “Ain’t they got enough ships elsewhere t’ give them a hand?” Mal asked, pretending ignorance of the seventy-two hour delay from the Core. “Alliance brass says there’s no need. Seem to think their soldier boys up there can handle a few Reavers,” Hal’s voice didn’t carry much inflection, and Mal glanced at him wondering if he believed that.

“So they’re sure it’s Reavers then?” Hal and Andy exchanged a look and Hal gave Mal a quick assessment. “Seems so. Priority’s been given to protectin’ settlements. You know Reavers, could be there’s thirty ships waitin’ to swoop in when the cruisers leave.” Mal met the man’s gaze. “That’d be a first, them thinkin’ of settlements before they protect their own interests. There’s a lot of money sittin’ up there, would’ve thought they’d have been a little more concerned about Reavers puttin’ their paws on their nice, shiny station.”

“You’d ‘ve thought they’d be a little more concerned about that new colony ship,” Hal’s brother replied. “Nearly finished from what I hear. Taken em three years to get the thing up and runnin’.” “Yeah. Serendipity, wasn’t it? Alliance’s bright new hope.” “Yup,” the other man replied. “Gonna be their flagship, openin’ up new worlds for them to walk in and take over.” The bitterness in Andy’s voice had Hall glancing at Mal and making a soft warning sound. Mal smiled a little grimly. “Too much to think the ‘verse is goin’ to teach them the error of their ways,” he said to reassure them where his sentiments lay. “Hope they’re right about their boys up there bein’ able to handle this. Reavers don’t fight by the same rules as us civilized folk.” Andy glanced at him with an equally grim little smile. “Mayhap they’ll give them a run for their money, then.”

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The last of the evacuees was making their way down the ramp and Zoe heaved a sigh of relief. Jayne was doing a quick sweep of the hold, making sure no-one had got themselves left behind. Zoe watched the young Alliance soldier and thought how strange it was to be a civilian in this situation. She didn’t like the feeling much. It left her with a sense of powerlessness, although she’d quite had her fill of fighting. Zoe found herself almost feeling sorry for this young man. He was likely to see things that no man should have to see, and she could still remember a time when she’d been able to bite into an apple without wondering if she’d get her head blown off. That kind of ignorance, of innocence, was something she missed at times with an intensity that could almost have been pain.

Lost in thought, it took several seconds for Zoe’s eyes to register what she was seeing - River standing at the top of the ramp and peering out into the glare and the darkness. Zoe shot a glance at the Alliance soldier, but he was busy processing the last of the refugees and hadn’t noticed. Moving purposefully but not with enough urgency to catch his attention, Zoe put herself in between him and their stowaway.

“River,” she said under her breath as she reached the girl, “Get inside, now.” The girl tried to peer around her, the usual childish frown she wore creasing her brow. “I wanted to know if we were there yet,” she asked querulously. “I couldn’t see, the door was shut.” “Yes honey, the door was shut because there are soldiers outside. You need to stay out of sight.” Zoe had taken her by the arm and was trying to back her up, but River twisted herself free and shook her head as though Zoe was being particularly silly. “No-one’s looking,” she told her irritably. “It’s all fallen apart, the center cannot hold. They get dizzy trying to see the stars.” “Be that as it may, you got to stay out of sight. You’ll worry your brother.”

The words were hardly out of Zoe’s mouth before Simon hurtled out of the door onto the catwalk above the cargo hold, eyes wild. Seeing Zoe with River, he sagged against the railing in utter relief. “I’m so sorry, I thought I locked it. I did lock it!” he protested, forcing himself to keep his voice low as he glared at his sister. River looked up and scowled, stomping her foot on the deck. “He’s always worried!” She protested, then whirled and ran off back into the ship. Zoe let out a sharp breath and raised an eyebrow at Simon. “Tried handcuffs?” She asked, only half kidding. “Yes,” he growled through gritted teeth before following River.

Zoe turned to find the last of the evacuees disappearing off towards the camp and the Alliance soldier climbing back into his scooter. “Well nice meeting you too,” she said under her breath as he roared away without a backward glance. “Zoe hun.” It was Wash’s disembodied voice on the ship’s com. “Yes dear?” “Alliance want us out the way so’s they can offload a few more of these hapless souls. We got Mal back yet?” “Nope. I’ll wave him.” Zoe pressed the control on her palm com. “Mal? You there?”

“Yup,” Mal took a few steps away from the crowd as he held up his com unit. “You been told to move Serenity?” “Right,” Zoe answered. “You stayin’ for a bit?” “Yeah, want to keep an eye on how things is progressin’.”

Mal paused, hearing a stray phrase that caught his attention. Two people were in heated conversation a few yards away, not far from the Alliance Command tent. One was an elderly Chinese gentleman, well dressed, retired military by his carriage. It was his voice Mal had heard demand, “By then it will be two damned late! You must consider an attempt to evacuate the wounded as soon as possible.” He was arguing with a soldier, an officer by the uniform, who was looking very uncomfortable. Slightly to one side stood a man Mal immediately labeled as bodyguard, slim, dark, taking in everything that moved.

“Sir?” Zoe’s voice cut across his thoughts. “Uh, what was that?” “I said ‘Keep us informed.’” “ ‘Course I will, soon as I know anythin’ worth tellin’. You tell Kaylee to get some sleep now, out.” He tucked his com unit away, watching the argument out of the corner of his eye.

“I’m sorry sir, but we’ve not got the resources to attempt any kind of rescue operation at this time. As far as we can ascertain there is no substantial danger to the station-” the Alliance soldier protested. “Your General’s assessment of the situation is the ‘substantial danger’,” snapped the older man. “By the time your reinforcements arrive it’ll make no difference if there were twenty ships attacking or a hundred, the damage will be done. You’ve got to give the Reavers a show of strength, it’s the only thing they understand!” “Priority has been given to protecting the civilian settlements, sir.” The officer replied, obviously wanting to apologize but not daring to.

The elderly man narrowed his eyes and regarded him coldly. “You know what happens to a man that gets left behind if the Reavers find him? I’m talking about evacuating the wounded, getting them off that station to safety. It wouldn’t take more than one or two vessels large enough to hold a few dozen men, a field surgeon and enough support to secure a landing area.” “Sir, there is nothing to indicate that our troupes are not able to protect and secure their positions at this time,” the officer replied, determined to get his point across. “The command center is holding. As far as we know, damage to the station is minimal. Most of the fighting seems to be concentrated around the core. The assessments indicate that our troupes are in no immediate danger. The General believes that there is no need to risk any more of our men at this time.” “You’re risking the lives of every man, woman and child in this sector, sergeant! What do you think the Reavers’ll think of your Alliance if you leave your soldiers sitting up there, holed up like rabbits? You’ve got to deliver a message, and deliver it hard!” “Those are our orders at this time sir,” the Alliance officer replied, swallowing nervously. “Sir, I’m aware that your family was on Nexus 7-” “You are aware of nothing!” The elderly gentleman finally lost his temper. “In seventy-two hours I will have no family!” He stormed off, his bodyguard quickly following, and Mal watched him go thoughtfully.

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“It’s damned risky,” Jayne said, scowling at Mal. “Goin’ into Reaver territory with no more’n a handful of men?” He shifted uncomfortably. “How much did you say he was offerin’ again?” “Man’s a Governor, owns an asteroid mining company amongst other things. He’s good for it,” Mal said, arms folded. “We pull this off we’d be able to pay off our debts and be a good ways along the road towards havin’ whatever it is we’ve always dreamed of havin’.” He met Zoe and Wash’s eyes, then glanced at Jayne. “No need for that freighter contract.” “It’s the bit about someone shootin’ at us that has me worried,” Wash said, frowning at Zoe. “No, actually it’s the bit about someone shootin’ at us and then eating us for dinner. Hopefully in that order. You’re not seriously considerin’ this are you, Cap’n?”

“Not to mention we’d be letting Alliance soldiers onto Serenity,” Simon butted in from his seat at the back of the room. Kaylee, who was sitting next to him, put a restraining hand on his arm and glanced nervously at Mal. “Only if we actually manage to get them off the station,” Mal replied, “Xuan’s men are all on his payroll. Some are ex-marines, but they got no interest in us beyond this job. I aim to keep it that way.” “Oh, great, mercenaries and Alliance soldiers,” Wash muttered, “coz one of them ain’t enough.” Mal’s eyes narrowed and Zoe raised a warning eyebrow at her husband. Mal turned his attention back to the doctor. “There’s money in this for you too, Simon. We need a doctor. I told Xuan I knew someone who fit the bill. You up for it?”

Simon’s head came up and he looked at Mal as though the man had suggested something obscene. “What? You want me to work with them?” “Well you’d kinda have to, bein’ as you’re the doctor,” Mal said with what he felt was admirable patience. “No. No, I won’t risk River like that.” River glanced up at her brother from her seat at his feet, then when she saw he wasn’t speaking to her went back to drawing on the floor. “You won’t be riskin’ River,” Mal reassured him. “It’d be like I said, we put her back in stasis. Put the coffin in one of Serenity’s little hidey-holes. No-one’d be none the wiser.” “There’s risks attached to stasis too, you know,” Simon held up a hand, “physiological side effects, not to mention the trauma of putting her back in that coffin. The last time she said she dreamed the whole time she was under, and you know what her dreams are like. I won’t do it.” “He’s right you know,” Shepherd Book cut in. “Stasis can result in long-term damage to the hypothalamus. Inability to regulate body temperature, control thirst, and remove bodily waste amongst other things. Considering what we know of River’s medical history it would not be advisable to subject her to it again.” There was a loud silence as everyone stared at the Shepherd. Simon asked almost wonderingly, “How’d you know that?” Shepherd Book glanced around at the ring of expectant faces and looked slightly alarmed. “I have some…understanding of the technology,” he said cautiously. When it was obvious he wasn’t going to elaborate, Mal blinked a couple of times and said, “Alright, considerin’ we got two medical opinions as say no, perhaps we can think of somethin’ else. You know, someday you an’ me going to have a talk Shepherd.” “Perhaps,” Book said, folding his hands together in his lap.

“Sir, what if we can’t find his family? How much are we expected to risk trying?” Zoe asked. “This is a strictly no recovery no fee proposition,” Mal said. “He can get us fuel and supplies to make the trip, but we don’t get his grandchildren back we don’t get paid. Man says he’s got ways to get the intel we’ll need to narrow down our search, structure of the station, access points, where the fighting’s been concentrated, that kinda thing. He knows where his family were supposed to be. Seems that there was a pre-launch party goin’ on for that new colony ship of theirs, the Serendipity. All the brass were there, including his daughter-in-law, grandson and granddaughter. That kinda party, I’ll be bettin’ that’s where we’ll find Inara.” “Sounds logical,” Jayne commented. “She always knew where the money was.”

Mal shot him a look and ignored the comment. “Xuan’s daughter-in-law made it to one of the ships, she’s on her way here now. She lost her daughter in the evacuation and the child has not turned up on any of the other ships that made it off Nexus 7. Last she saw her was at the party, so that’s where we look for her. Our other objective is to get to the command center. That’s where Xuan reckons his grandson would be. He thinks there is a way to reach the command center without going through the Reavers, but if it’s too dangerous we don’t make the attempt. Can’t spend the money if we’re dead.” “Too right,” Wash muttered.

Mal turned to Simon. “He knows his grandson’s been injured and that they don’t have much beyond the basics in terms of medical care. The Reavers are between them and the medical facilities. That’s why they’re lookin’ for a doctor to go along. Xuan says he can get a field-trained medic, but a man of your caliber is hard to find in these parts.” Simon met his stare, frowning. “It’s too risky. I don’t see how we can take on Alliance soldiers and keep River out of sight.” “Out of sight is out of mind,” River commented from the floor. “Out of mind is out of sight.” The chalk spirals grew beneath her quick fingers.

“First thing we gotta do is decide if we want to try this thing,” Mal said, looking around the room. “I’m for it. Aside from the money it eats my gut to think of anyone I know in Reaver hands. Don’t particularly like havin’ it on my conscience.” “Well I’m in, such as it matters,” Kaylee said from the back of the room, her face set. “It won’t be me goin’ in there, so the decision’s got to be up to you. Inara’s been a good friend. If we don’t try-” she broke off and took a steadying breath. “I gotta at least know we tried.” Simon put his hand on hers. “It matters, Kaylee,” Mal said. “Everyone on this ship got a say in when and where we risk our lives. Preacher?”

The Shepherd frowned thoughtfully. “All we know of Reavers tells us there isn’t much hope of finding anyone alive. Seems foolish to be risking our lives when there is so little likelihood of success,” he said quietly. Kaylee’s face crumpled and she looked away. “But I agree with Kaylee,” Book continued. “We have to try. It is the mark of the faithful to have hope when all others have lost theirs. If there’s a way we can get on that station without getting ourselves killed in the process, I’m for it.” Kaylee smiled at him. “Alright, that’s three for, one against,” Mal said, sparing Simon a brief look. “Jayne?” “Can’t say as I don’t think we’d be damn fools to go in there when the Alliance ain’t even gonna send one of it’s warships,” the big man replied, “but that’s a lot of money. The man say he’d pay us if’n we bring back bodies?” “Just gotta bring ‘em back,” Mal confirmed. Jayne screwed up his face in thought. “More guns?” He asked. “Weapons, ammunition, medical supplies, fuel, food, all provided for.” “Alright, I’m in.” “Zoe, Wash?” “I’m in sir,” Zoe replied immediately. Wash looked at her for a long moment. “Alright,” he said, “me too. I think it’s damned stupid and near-on suicidal, but I’ll fly this boat wherever you want her to go.” He looked up at Mal. “Just tell me that if it’s lookin’ suicidal you ain’t gonna try be some kinda big damned hero.” “Trust me, Wash, I ain’t lived this long by practisin’ heroics,” Mal replied. Wash made a disgusted sound and shook his head.

“Simon?” Mal asked. When the doctor looked at him, frowning, Mal said quietly, “You don’t have to come. We can find a place for you and River here somewhere, hole you up for a while. Course, we don’t come back you’re on your own.” Kaylee’s hand tightened on Simon’s, and he looked at her, then glanced down to River. “I can’t put her back in that coffin,” he said softly. “There’s plenty of places to hide a body on this boat,” Mal answered. “We could fix one of them up for a couple of day’s stay. Could you maybe sedate her?” Simon shrugged awkwardly, “I never know how much to give her. Sometimes she’s out for hours, other times she’s awake and running around well before she should be.” “How much do you think you can explain to her about how important it is to stay hidden?” Zoe asked. River looked up at Zoe. “I told you, no-one’s looking. They only see what’s on their minds, and I’ll be out of mine,” she said, then glanced at Simon with an impatient frown. “We’re going to be too late if we stay much longer.” Simon looked at River with his usual expression, somewhere between anguish and amazement. “It’s a thing to think about, money like we’re being offered,” Mal added. “That kinda money can go a long ways towards buying you a new life.”

It was what had been going through Simon’s mind, a way out of this cycle of lurching from one disaster to another, barely escaping with their lives time and time again. Money like this could buy River a chance to heal, a home for them both. He wrestled with the knowledge that he’d be taking an incredible risk – two, maybe three days with the constant danger of being discovered. But they lived with that risk every day as it was, every time they docked anywhere the Alliance had an outpost. He felt Kaylee’s finger’s tighten around his and took a breath. “Okay, I’ll do it. But it’s going to take some preparation. I’m going to need help.” “I’ll help,” Kaylee said instantly. “Me an’ River get along, don’t we?” She smiled at River, who ignored her. “I’ll help you look after her.” “Alright, that’s it then. I’ll tell Xuan.” Mal turned on one heal and was out the door. “I think maybe we got a few details to be workin’ out first!” Wash said to his retreating back, then looked around as people started getting up and heading for the exits. “Like how we’re going to be sneakin’ up on a station surrounded by Reavers in the middle of the black. Anyone?” Zoe stood, gave him a gentle smile, pushed her chair under the table and followed Mal.

River stared thoughtfully at the floor. “What’cha drawin’, honey?” Kaylee asked, leaning over for a look. “It’s a mandala,” Shepherd Book said, picking up plates and cups from the table. Jayne got up, handed the Shepherd his mug and headed for the door. “A what?” Kaylee turned her head to one side to see if it made more sense the other way. “I need some red,” River said in a determined voice as Jayne passed by. The big man flinched, stared at her in horror, then ducked out of the door in a hurry. “River?” Simon put his hands on her shoulders. “Time to go, we’ve got to go get ready.” “Are we off to see the wizard?” River asked distractedly. Simon and Kaylee shared a mystified look. “Uh, no, we’re going to rescue Inara. Come on.”

Still staring over her shoulder at the mandala, River got up and allowed her brother to lead her away. When they had gone, Shepherd Book stood looking at it for some time. Then he took out a mop and carefully wiped away every last detail.