Standard disclaimers apply. Firefly, Serenity, and the original characters are not mine. This was written for fun, not profit. Two new characters are mine, but Joss can have them if he wants because they really want to come out and play.

Archiving: Just let me know where.

Rating: PG13 for language and an adult situation.

Pairings: Now that would be telling.

Moments after the end of Part 3

ENGINE ROOM

Kaylee is sitting astride her hammock, feet on the floor, hunched over, back to the bulkhead, fingering a small stuffed animal in her lap.

SIMON: (Quietly from the doorway) May I come in?

No reply

SIMON: (Softly) Please, Kaylee. We need to talk.

KAYLEE: I don't feel like talkin' to you right now.

Simon moves toward the hammock and looks down, reaching out for her shoulder, but stopping short.

SIMON: Okay, I need to talk. There are a couple of things I need to get off my chest, and, to be fair to both of us; I don't think they can wait any longer.

KAYLEE: (Almost in tears, but still snarky) Why don't you talk to Jenny? I'm sure she’d love to hear whatever you need to say.

Not waiting for permission, he swings his right leg over the hammock and sits down opposite her, their knees almost touching.

SIMON: (Sighing) That won’t work because I need to talk to you, Kaylee.

Kaylee looks up at him from under her hair, but says nothing.

SIMON: (Starting very quietly, but increasing in intensity) Kaylee, you know that when I... we first came aboard Serenity it was out of desperation to get somewhere, anywhere, to be safe. When the Captain offered to let us stay it was just supposed to be until we found some place better… for River. It wasn't supposed to be my life, and I've been on this ship for months. Tears are now flowing freely down Kaylee's face, but she hasn't made a sound. Simon's eyes are damp too.

SIMON: For weeks, maybe months, there’s been something I haven't been able to admit, even to myself. Seeing Jenny again has made me realize I have to face up to reality.

Small sob from Kaylee

SIMON: She has forced me to acknowledge what I know, what I have known for a while, is true. (Pause) I think I might belong here.

Puzzled look from Kaylee.

Simon's voice taking on a tinge of joy and wonder - we may or may not notice that he is moving subtly toward her as he speaks.

SIMON: (He’s a little choked up and quiet) Everything we've done. All we've been through…it’s made me realize that in the long run I can make a much bigger difference out here than I could ever have at the hospital. When Jenny saw me she just accepted that I was here. (Smiling) She was joking around and said she always knew I'd find serenity, just not literally. She was right. Kaylee, (looking up and around him at the engine room), Serenity isn’t just my refuge; she’s my home now. Her crew is more a family to River and me than our own parents ever were. I’ve known, at least for the past month since River’s been so much better, that I’m a whole person here. Not just a doctor or a brother.

KAYLEE: (Kindly, but with a touch of frustration) Simon, I've felt you getting more ‘n’ more comfortable here with us, with me, especially the last month. The last couple weeks ‘fore we picked Jen up been real shiny. I've tried to tell you, to show you all along, but you always brush it off. Now she’s here and I don’t understand what’s changed.

SIMON: (Slightly bemused) I think I was afraid that if I accepted this life I was giving up. Giving up on getting River and me back where I thought we belonged. I guess I just needed someone from my world, my old world, someone who’s opinion I value, to tell me its okay…to give me permission to let go of the past and accept the now.

KAYLEE: (Head down again, quietly) Her opinion, is that what you call it....

SIMON: (Looking directly at her) Kaylee, I said I had a couple of things to get off my chest. I know what you saw back there, how it must have looked.

Kaylee looks down, but Simon reaches over and lifts her chin, his other hand reaching out and closing over hers and the stuffed animal.

KAYLEE: Saw you in her room the other night too.

SIMON: (Small wince) Jenny and I have been friends for a long time. We've worked together closely. We’re comfortable, easy with each other. I can talk to her about, well, things, …which is why I was in her room.

Kaylee gives him an "oh, sure" look.

Simon sounds resigned, but with a tinge of a smile, remembering the past, the hand on Kaylee's chin lowers to her lap, where he takes both of her hands in his and moves subtly even closer.

SIMON: Okay, I'll admit something I haven't told anyone, even her. When Jenny was my teacher I had…well I guess you would call it the college guy's version of a schoolboy crush on her. (Freah tears well in Kaylee's eyes) As I got to know her better the crush developed into a true friendship. She was always someone I could trust. Seeing her again, and the trouble she's in, has brought back a lot of memories. (Pause) It’s also made me think about what's actually important in life...happiness, trust, being true to yourself and your gut feelings. Doing the right thing. Kaylee, do you remember telling me, before I knew who Wash's sister is, that I'd like her because she's the "realest" person you'd ever met?

KAYLEE: (Tears flowing freely down her face again) uh huh.

SIMON: (Pulling her hands up and toward his chest) She's not the "realest" person I've ever met Kaylee, you are.

Kaylee, who has been staring somewhere in the region of his chin, looks up into his eyes - this is clearly NOT what she was expecting to hear. Simon leans forward until his forehead touches hers.

SIMON: (Voice catching with emotion) Kaylee, I love you. I'm so in love with you.

KAYLEE: (Slightly confused, but lighting up) You, you love me?

SIMON: Uh huh.

KAYLEE: But...for how long. I mean....I thought…

Simon sits more upright and shifts his body closer to her, still holding her hands at chest level, dipping his knees below hers, looking into her eyes, smiling.

SIMON: Months I think. I liked you instantly. I've(mischievous smile) been, how shall we say, "interested" in you practically since I stepped on the ship. The love grew against my will. I was shocked that I felt so hurt and jealous when it looked like you were interested in Tracey. I felt I couldn’t compete because I had nothing to offer.

KAYLEE: What? No… I was just mad is all.

SIMON: I knew how far gone I was when Jubal Early told me he had you tied up in the engine room and what he'd do to you if I didn't help him find River. I thought you sort of caught on when I told you I’d only helped him because I couldn’t stand the thought of him hurting you.

KAYLEE: (Looking innocently stunned and awed) I kinda did, but you didn’t take in no farther. Simon I don’t get it. If you love me, why haven't you responded to... why haven't you even kissed me? I mean, the last couple of weeks I thought... I mean we’ve been getting so close. Sayin’ stuff, cuddlin’. Night Jenny’s wav came I really thought….

SIMON: (Looking sheepish) So did I. (Releasing one hand so he can reach out and touch her cheek). I've wanted to...I've come so close, so many times, and every time I’ve done it all wrong and made you mad, which just makes it harder. I’ve been so afraid, so…wary. (Smiling) For the past couple of weeks I’ve been looking for the perfect time to stop being wary, but people keep interrupting.

KAYLEE: (Smiling now) Afraid of kissin'?

SIMON: (Smiling, but more intense) Not afraid of kissing, of what comes after kissing, because I know it won't stop with kissing. It can't stop with kissing. We've come too far already…

KAYLEE: (Laughing, but a little overwhelmed by what he’s saying) It's okay; I promise I'll go easy on ya the first time....

SIMON: (Laughing too) Kaylee, it wasn’t the thought of making love with you that scared me. That thought fills me with joy. It was the knowledge that once we've made love, if, for some reason, this doesn't work, it would be really hard to go back to just being friends. Sometimes our friendship has been the only thing that’s kept me sane. I couldn’t risk that. I …I guess I didn't want to get too attached to you because I always thought I was leaving and we’d both end up hurting.

The whole time he's been caressing her cheek and slowly pulling her closer and gently kissing her hands, which he's still holding. She pulls a hand free and gently reaches out, runs the tip of her finger down his nose and to his lips, where she leaves it and he kisses it gently.

KAYLEE: (Softly, tenderly, but sexy too, looking directly into his eyes, their faces close) So, why now?

SIMON: Because its too late and I’m attached… we’re attached. I love you so much I can't not touch you anymore. I need to be with you, to feel you, to love you. I've been so cautions for so long that it’s taken me over. I gave up my life to help River, but I’ve found I can’t just give up living, being human. I have to trust it will work. I need to feel happiness again, and you make me so happy, happier than I’ve ever been.

KAYLEE: Oh God, Simon, I love you so much.

SIMON: (Sexy smile, his lips very close to hers) Good, ‘cause I’ve been practicing variations of that speech in my head for about two weeks, and I’d hate to have wasted it.

She laughs as he leans in to kiss her, his hands on her face and neck. The kiss begins tenderly, lovingly, but knowingly, without any of the awkwardness we might have expected - the passion of the kiss builds as their arms go around each other. Simon reaches down between them, which looks almost lewd, pulls out the stuffed animal and tosses it on the table behind the hammock.

DINING ROOM

Jenny and Wash are sitting at the table sipping wine and talking. Mal walks in from the hallway to the bridge. He pours a cup of coffee and begins heading toward the engine room.

WASH: Uh, you may not want to go that way just now.

MAL: Huh? Why?

WASH: Kaylee saw Simon and Jenny talking, kinda freaked out and escaped to the engine room. Simon took off after her.

MAL: How long?

WASH: 'Bout 15, 20 minutes.

MAL: (Heading toward the engine room) Boy's had enough time to screw it up.

HALL OUTSIDE DOOR TO ENGINE ROOM

Mal is a few feet outside the engine room door. He hears small noises from inside that he mistakes for sobs. His expression is slightly irritated as he steps forward and looks toward the hammock. He sticks his head in the door just as Simon is scooping Kaylee into his lap so she is straddling him, their lips locked. Simon's left hand goes down the back of Kaylee's coveralls to low on her left hip, his right hand goes up under the back of her shirt and pulls it from her right shoulder as his lips and tongue find her right collar bone. Her hands are in his hair, a wee bit of a grind in her hips. Mal is momentarily taken aback and speechless.