Cargo Bay, Serenity

The force of Jaine’s flying tackle threw both her and Simon backwards onto the floor plating with a resounding thud. Wash stood, transfixed, as she landed blow after blow on the doctor’s body. His brain suddenly kicked into gear as he watched the struggle. Jaine was hurting Simon, the only trained medic onboard. He darted forward and made a grab for her. When he failed, Zoë joined the fray. She managed to wrap her hands around her left bicep and began to drag her off the doctor. Wash crouched by the other man. “So, I take it you know each other then?” he said, checking the doc’s injuries. “Know each other? The gorram qiangbao houzi de ta ma de tried to kill me!” Jaine exploded. Mal stepped between the pair. “Yiqi shen luxi, you tried to kill her?” he said, incredulously. Wash was having trouble believing it himself. To his credit, Simon managed to look indignant as he could while lying on the floor with a split lip. “She tried to kill me!” Jaine roared again and lunged for him, but Zoë held fast. Had to admire her for that, after all, Jaine was just one big ball of fire-spittin’ fury. Wash was puzzled as hell by this last revelation and, like the captain, just wanted to know what was going on. “I’ll take it a kindness if you,” he looked at Jaine, “would refrain from killin’ my crew and if someone would explain just what the hell is goin’ on here!”

~x~

River sat on the catwalk above the group. Watching from above. Flying. Watching Jaine. River knew she would be here and she knew they would come. She could help. She would help them and they would help her. But it wouldn’t be easy. Nothing ever was. She sighed. Kaylee would be home soon, bringing her smile with her. Bringing the sunshine back. Simon likes Kaylee. Kaylee likes Simon. But he’s such a boob. She told him so. Kaylee. The engine talks to her. It talks to River, too. She’ll make Simon happy. They’ll all be happy. One day. If only they'd all just grow up and tell each other...

~x~

Mal looked from Jaine to Simon and back again, still trying desperately to comprehend what had happened between them. “Jaine, doc. I’m waitin’,” he said. “I keep tellin’ ya, he tried to kill me!” Jaine yelled angrily. “And she tried to kill me!” Simon shouted back. Jaine rounded on him triumphantly. “Ha! So ya admit it do ya?” He looked stricken for a moment. “No! I didn’t…That’s not what I meant!” “Well, whoever tried to kill the other, they obviously failed,” Mal broke in. “Miserably, might I add. Now, could one of you, and I mean one, be so kind as to tell us why y’all just gave us a replay?” “Gen houzi bi diou shi!” Jaine spat at Simon. Mal shot her a warning look and turned to the doctor. “Simon, why don’t ya start us off?” he suggested. The younger man shifted into a cross-legged position, very aware of the loaded gun by Jaine’s hip. Clearing his throat, he began. “Five years ago, when I was a med student on Osiris, Jaine and a young man were brought into the ER. He came in first with a bullet wound and cuts and bruises on his face, neck and arms. Jaine was brought in second, stabbed but walking. She was reluctant to come in for treatment and became agitated when she saw the young man. She drew a gun and tried to shoot him, so I was forced by hospital policy to sedate her in order to treat her safely.” Mal nodded, but this still didn’t make her attack on the doc any clearer. “Unfortunately, the young man’s wound didn't heal and he died within a week. When Jaine was informed of his death, she attacked me with a hypodermic syringe and a scalpel.” At this, all eyes turned to Jaine, who shrugged. “And to defend myself, I used a metal tray to, uh…incapacitate her,” Simon finished. Jaine gave a short bark of laughter. “’Incapacitate’, huh? What is that? Rich-kid speak for hittin’ me ‘til I bled?” Mal frowned at her. “So, the reason you wanna kill my medic, is you think he killed your sweetheart?” Somehow, it just didn’t sound right to him. Jaine moved her eyebrows in a vague imitation of a frown. “He weren’t no sweetheart’a mine.” “Who was he, then?” She blinked. “He was my mark.” He felt like he’d just been hit with a brick. “Wo de tian a! You’re a gorram bounty hunter!”

~x~

Not this one. She's not like the other one...

~x~

If she didn’t know better, Zoë coulda sworn Jaine actually looked a little ashamed. “Was, Reynolds, was. Ain’t no more. ‘Sides, if I was a hunter, you’d an’ Zoë’d be dead, pilot’d be tryna put up a fight an’ the preacher’d be hidin’ the doc an’ the crazy girl.” She looked up at River. “No 'fence,” she added. Mal was still gazing at Jaine with suspicion, but he’d taken his hand away from his holster. Never taking his eyes off his former colleague’s face, he turned towards Zoë. “Put her in the passenger dorm.” Turning back to Jaine, he said, “Just a safety precaution, y'understand. Don’t want nobody kickin’ me in the head, now do we?” Raising an eyebrow at the captain, Jaine began to head to the back of the bay, safely in Zoë’s grasp. As they descended the steps, Zoë smiled as she heard her husband’s voice: “What’s she mean, trying to put up a fight?”

~x~

As Zoë disappeared from sight, Book spotted the Kaylee and Jayne heading towards the ship and called out to warn the captain. The mule roared into the bay and screeched to halt inches in front of Mal’s boots. The big man leapt off before it had completely stopped moving. “Mal, we gotta go. Now,” he said, throwing an anxious glance over his shoulder. Something in Jayne's voice made the remaining crew follow his gaze. Moving steadily toward Serenity was a squad of armed Feds in riot gear. “What did you do this time?” a weary voice asked.

River screamed.

~x~

Qiangbao houzi de ta ma de = monkey-raping motherfucker Yiqi shen luxi = let’s take a deep breath Gen houzi bi diou shi = engage in a faeces-slinging contest with a monkey Wo de tian a = Dear God in heaven