Your soul is oftentimes a battlefield, upon which your reason and your judgment wage war against passion and your appetite.

"Are you asking me as a friend, or ordering me as my captain?" The words though softly spoken nonetheless held in them the weight of all worlds, heavy and edged with resentment.

For a single moment the small, animal part of his brain rose to the challenge and stood there clearly, pounding its fists against its broad chest and roaring. The other, even smaller part that was his logic lifted its head over the concrete barrier of denial and fear. It didn't take but a moment before it went back into hiding. He dropped his gaze from her face. It was the only honourable thing he could do, before he drowned in the midnight fire that were Zoe's eyes.

"Neither," he said at long last, his voice sounding harsh in his own ears, but underneath it all was something vulnerable.

It was pure selfishness. Seven years he'd had her there, by his side. Seven years to learn the nuances of her glance, to see the woman hidden beneath the grim determination. Yes, he loved Zoe. He wasn't in love with her, not any more than she was with him, but it ran deeper. She was his right hand, and his left. She was his life and his death. She was the personification of Serenity.

"Then what?"

"You...."What could he say? How could he explain it to her, that she was his rudder and his sails. She gave shape and definition to the Black. Without her, he could only toss and drift before coming to a standstill. A slow death, slower than a bleeding wound on Hera. "You said he made you feel...funny."

"Well, yes, sir. Cause I almost forgot what it felt like. Having hope, I mean."

"I forbid..."

She laughed. "You're not that cute, sir."

Mal watched her walk out of the room, and in those moments, in his defeat, he knew that Wash was the better man. And Wash would only continue being a man so long as he treated Zoe right.

Surely you would not honour one guest above the other; for he who is more mindful of one loses the love and the faith of both.