Disclaimer: I don’t own firefly (wish I did) so don’t sue I have no money.

This take places after OIS

Serenity’s Heart Part 1

Believe it you are a real find, a joy in someone’s heart. You are a jewel, unique and priceless, God don’t make no junk! - Herbert Barks

Kaylee felt hallow, like all the sunshine she held inside of her had been taken away leaving a dark abyss in its wake. She once felt joy for all things in life, but no more. The joy had left. The others didn’t know, on the outside she smiled and laugh like away. She played the role that was expected of her, but that was it. Kaylee no longer felt the sunlight that used to flow through her like a river of gold. It was Jubel Early who had stolen the light from her, casting her into eternal darkness. No one knew what had happen that night he came looking for River. Simon knew he had tired her up, but that was all he knew. The captain and the other had no clue. River knew, for it seemed she knew everything, but she never told and Kaylee was sure her secreted was safe with River. After all the bad, after Early had been pushed into the darkness of space there was chaos. The patching up of Simon and making sure River was okay it was easy to just faded into the background. Make it seem like nothing was wrong and once the act was started there was no stopping it. No one even question it, no one seemed to notice how quiet she had gotten or that she wasn’t really eating, or the fact that she never really slept anymore. No one seen to see past the mask she had forge well laying on the engine room floor, tied up, hoping and praying that it was all just a dream. No one noticed, but River. She noticed right away as River watched Zoe fix up Simon, River turned as Kaylee walked into the med lad to make sure Simon was okay, already Kaylee felt as if the joy would never return. “Its okay, not destroy just miss place for the time.” River had whispered to her so low the only Kaylee had heard her. Since then River had stay at Kaylee side. Hanging out in the engine room with Kaylee when she had to work so that Kaylee didn’t have to be alone. River knew how hard it was for her to be alone. For when she was alone was when the darkness came pushing down on her, drowning her so that she could no longer breath. Not ever working on Serenity brought her the joy it used to, and that made Kaylee mad. What right did he have to take that from her! Logically she knew he was gone floating out in space somewhere, most likely dead. Logically she knew he didn’t have her light, that it was still in her buried somewhere deep with in her. But she felt as if she would never feel the light again. Kaylee worried all the time now. She worried that the others would find out. Worried that they would see she wasn’t really eating or sleeping and they would asks her what was wrong. She worried that when they asks she would break down an tell them. She was worried that they would comfort her and tell her it wasn’t her fault, that Early was a bad man and what he did to her was wrong, but Kaylee didn’t want that. She was guiltily she had told that evil man where to find River. She had given away her friend in order to save herself. In Kaylee mind she deserved to feel the emptiness. She deserved the nightmares that came every time she close her eyes. Nightmares of Early standing over her, nightmares of him coming back to make good on his promise. Some where in the back of her mind Kaylee knew River didn’t blame her, but she couldn’t forgive herself. She was a bad person, a bad friend.

“The sun shines brightly, giving light to all living thing. The sun is good.” Rivers voices flowed to Kaylee, who was working under the engine. It took her a while to figure out that River was talking about her. “I’m not the sun, River. I’m just a person” Kaylee told her as she pulled out from under the engine. Nothing was really wrong with Serenity, but working on her brought Kaylee some scene of normalcy back to her life. Kaylee stood and turned to were River voice had come from. She was sitting on Kaylee’s hammock.

“The sun bring life where their was once only ice, the sun is good.” River stated voice leaving no room for argument. Kaylee signed as she wiped her hands on her overalls, wiping off the oil that was cover all over them. She was trying to think of a way to explain to River that she was no longer the sun. She didn’t understand how River couldn’t see it, how she couldn’t see the emptiness were the light once was. “Not gone.” River said as if she was reading Kaylee thought, which in River case just maybe true. “Just an eclipse. She sun will be back soon… Dinner.” River said and jump off the hammock running out of the engine room before Kaylee could said anything. And no more then one minutes later Mal’s voice came over the intercom calling Kaylee to dinner.

*** Captain Malcolm Reynolds was worried. He knew his crew, some better then they knew themselves. So he knew something was wrong with Kaylee. It had been going on for about three weeks now. At Mal had hope the girl, who was like a little sister to him, would come to him and tell him what was wrong, but as the weeks past he saw she was just getting worse and not once did she talked to him or anyone, not even Inara or Simon to whom she was very close with. As Kaylee walked into the mess hall for dinner Mal noticed how thin she had gotten and that worried him more then her not talking. Kaylee was a girl who loved her food, who enjoy the taste of everything especial strawberries and who for as long as Mal had know her had never pasted up a meal. Also their were dark circle under her eyes to suggest she hasn’t been sleeping well. He decided then and there as Kaylee took her sit that enough was enough that after dinner they were talking whether she like it or not.

Mal believe that everyone should be present at common meals so the table was full. Mal sat at the head of the table with Zoe to his right, there was an empty sit next to her were Wash sat but the polite was up in the bridged plotting the course they would take to get to Rayas where they were to meet a contact about a job and that was the only realize he was excused. To Mal’s left sat Inara and next to Inara said Kaylee. The young mechanic was pushing her food around on her plate making it look like she had eaten when she really hadn’t taken a bite. River sat next to Kaylee with Simon sitting across from her and next to Simon was Shepard Book who was in the middle of telling another one of his funny, yet weird story about his time at the Abby. Finally Jayne sit at the other end of the table. Everyone was laughing talking just like every other meal they had together and Kaylee seemed normal enough, talking when talked to and laughing at the right times. But it was in her eyes that Mal saws the truth, the shine that usually full them was gone all he could see was a call for help hidden deep with in them. “So you just let him go?” Inara asked Book in between laugh. “We had no right in the verse to stop him, I got to tell you though I never see someone so determined as that young man was.” Book answer and everyone broke out laughing again just as Wash walked into the mess hall. “Now tell me how it is ever time I go to plot a course someone tells a funny story that I don’t get to hear?” Wash asked as he took his sit next to his wife. “Well it cause we don’t like you very much.” Jayne said in his usual blunt humor way. Which earn him a roll throw at him by Wash, which Jayne caught with ease and started eating it. “It anit nothing honey you just got bad timing is all.” Zoe told her husband trying to reassure him, it didn’t sound so reassuring to Mal, but then again he wasn’t married (which he thank god for everyday) so what did he knew. “Are we on course.” Mal asked trying to change the subject and trying not to remember the last time he had asked that question, for it had end up being a very bad day for him. “Right on sir, were should be there by tomorrow afternoon if all goes well. By the way if all does go well and we actually get pay we need a full up otherwise were going to see what happen when the little arrow goes past E. For what I hear it’s not good.” Wash answered taking a big bite of the food Zoe had save for him. “We always get pay just sometime it’s a bit later then other.” Mal said in defects and once again everyone laugh.

The food disappeared fast like it away did. If you wanted seconds you learn to eat fast early on with this group. The only food left on the table was Kaylee’s plate. The girl managed to push her food around enough to make it look like she had eaten half of it when in reality she hadn’t touches any of it. She had pushed her plate away from her earlier on, claiming she was full of she had a big lunch. Mal knew she was lying. Now Kaylee sat talking in low voices with Inara, who was probably sharing with the girl her latest adventurers in companioning. Mal knew there would be no good time to bring up the topic of Kaylee’s well being and he had been debating all dinner on whether or not to confront her with everyone or by himself. He knew Kaylee would feel less pressure and more comfortable if he did it by himself, but Mal was worried the girl would just dodge his question with everyone there she would have to answers. Or at lest that what he hope. Mal was real worried that if they didn’t do something soon they would lose Kaylee and that was not something he was ready for.

“I’ve got something that need saying.” Mal said loud enough for all to hear. All the side conversion stopped and soon all eyes were on Mal. He didn’t start right away for he had to make sure he spoke just the right words so that Kaylee didn’t go flying out of the room.

“ Its has come to my attention these last couple of weeks that something isn’t quite right with one of you. I have waited patiently for that person to come talk to me them self, but this person hasn’t so I’ve taken it upon myself to do something before we lose this person all together.” Mal paused and his crew looked back at him with very confused looks everyone except Kaylee and River. Kaylee refuses to meet his graze, her eyes remained on the table. River on the other hand looked right at him, her eyes echoing Mal’s own determination to finish this now. It was obvious the young girl was worried about her friend.

“Kaylee, you want to tell me what going on with you.” Suddenly all eyes shifted from Mal to Kaylee and it seemed that for the first time in three weeks everybody was truly seeing her.

“Oh mei-mei.” Inara said her voice was etch with worry and guilt. Worried for the young girl who was so easy to love, and guilt that she didn’t notices her wilting away before her eyes before this. Kaylee was the first person to befriend her of the crew and as the time past she became the younger sister Inara never had. The last few weeks Inara’s mind had been so occupied that she didn’t notices the changes in Kaylee. Inara had planning on leaving Serenity, she didn’t knew when and none of the crew knew that she was, but she had been so occupied with it that all other things faded into the background of her life. Every Kaylee.

Kaylee sank so low in her chair that Mal was certain she was trying to melt into it. Everyone was looking at her and waiting for her to answer. Kaylee eyes darted briefly to everyone in the room and then before anyone could say anything she bolted from the room so fast that she looked as if the devil himself was chasing her. The room sat quiet for a minute, no one knew what to do.

“Sir?” Zoe voices sounded the confusion her eyes showed off. Mal knew she was asking him for an explanation over what was going on. He wish he had an answer to give her, but he had a very little piece of the puzzle.

“The sunlight gone, but the stars haven’t come out to play. There no light to guild the way only darkness to full the void.” River said as looked at the doorway in which Kaylee had just existed. Then she turned and looked at Mal “I don’t like the darkness. I want the light back.” Though for the most part Mal had no idea what the young girl was saying, but he did get the last sentences. She wanted Kaylee back. The old Kaylee, the one who was always happy and could away make thought around her happy. He wanted that to though he had no idea how to get it. Mal looked around the table at his crew, at his family. Each one, even Jayne, had a worried look on their faces. It was plain to see they were worried for the girl who had wormed her way into each of theirs hearts. Kaylee was the heart of the crew and when she hurt everyone hurt with her. Which was not a good thing to have the day before a major job, something needed to be done.

“The sun lights gone everything turns to ices.” River said to no one really. She needed them to understand the important of her words. She tried to pick the right ones so they could see how important they were but they came out all jumble up. She didn’t knew how to tell them, to get them to see how short their time really was. “Serenity’s heart lays open and bleeding! Reds blood flows though the ship, step not in it, cast not the shadow through the wall! When it stop all stops!” River shouted at the crew they couldn’t see, they weren’t getting it. Simon came running over to her, trying to calm her down. He whisper in her ear that all would be okay. River realized for the first time she was crying. She knew Simon was lying to her, Simon didn’t knew he was lying, but then he was blind. As blind as the rest of the crew. The heart would stop and the sun would leave and all would turn to ice. And not one could see it, but her. She knew then that she had to leave the mess hall before the voices of worry and guilt over took her. With not so much as another word to anyone not every Simon, for they wouldn’t understand her anyways, River walked out of the room. Simon follow her saying something about make sure she was okay. She wasn’t okay none of them would be until the storm past over and they could see again.

Mal stood at the head of the table in the mess hall Inara was the only one still with him the rest of the crew had gone on to do whatever they did after dinner, after Mal promised the he find out what was wrong with Kaylee and fix it. Inara stay though wait until everyone was gone to approach Mal, but he didn’t wait for her to start talking.

“You can leave when we get to Rayas it has a major spaceport that can take you anywhere you would want to go.” His voice was void of any emotion for he didn’t want her to knew how he truly felt.

“I don’t want to leave yet, I want to make sure Kaylee is okay before I leave.” Inara replied her heart breaking inside at Mal’s cold tone.

“Why so you can just hurt her again by leaving?” Mal asked argue rising in him like boiling water.

“I don’t want to hurt anyone, that why I’m leaving.” Inara answered, but she was no longer sure if that was the truth or just a lie she told herself to help her sleep. “Tell yourself whatever you need to Inara, but I knew the truth.” Mal said and stormed out of the mess hall leaving Inara standing there by herself very much alone. *** Planet side: Rayas An elderly gentleman sat behind a hung desk in a nicely decorated office. In forth of him stood two men. One was very tall and muscular. He had long blond hair, which he tied up in a pony tail. He had a hung gun on his back. The other was male with short brown hair and no visible weapons.

“The firefly class ship Serenity is on it ways here sir.” The smaller of the two man said.

“Good, good.” The old man whizzed. “When they get her I want a clean job. Seth you distract the other well Zack here grabs our prizes. This is an in and out deal. No blood lost if at all possible.” When the old man finish talking the two nodded and took that as their sign to leave. As soon as the room was empty the old man open the middle drawer of his desk. He pulled out a flat pad and push a button on the forth of it. The small screen came to life. It show a girl no more then two or three sitting on a swing laughing. Her long brown hair blowing in the wind.

“Soon” the old man whisper at the picture. “Soon, my young one.” *** End of part one If you like please say so and I’ll write the rest.