Author's note: Yeah, I know, this took FOREVER. You don't even wanna know...let's just say my mother is a psychotic devil-woman who doesn't know the pressure a fic writer is under. *sigh*

AN #2: I'm putting out a request to all my readers for plot bunnies, prompts, ideas, whatever you wanna call 'em. If I use your idea, I'll give you credit when I write the fic. If I don't use your idea...well, write it yourself! We need more people writing S/K smut, after all. ;)

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"Kaylee, you almost ready to go?" Simon called. He knocked on the door to the room that had been River's, until she and Kaylee had swapped rooms two weeks earlier. It had been River's idea to switch, when Mal had mentioned changing living arrangments so that Simon and Kaylee could be together without having to worry about disturbing the rest of the crew. He'd been concerned at first, but it hadn't lasted.

As strange as it was to have his sister suddenly be so much less dependant on him, it was also a great relief. And besides, now he finally had time and energy and thought to devote to Kaylee. He hadn't been able to even think of being with her like that before. That was what had kept him at a distance from her for eight long months. He'd been afraid of hurting her, or worse, of putting her in danger, either from the Alliance or another enemy. A shudder passed through him as he recalled Jubal Early's threats, the images that had flashed through his mind as a result of the bounty hunter's words. The thought of anyone harming Kaylee because of him...he pushed it to the back of his mind.

Instead, he thought about the past two weeks, of being close to Kaylee, with only two thin doors and a narrow hallway seperating them. And often less than that. Without even talking about it, they seemed to end up alternating, one night in her room, the next in his. Even when they didn't make love, they slept in each other's arms. Falling asleep to the sound of her heartbeat and quiet breathing, waking up with her in his arms, made him happier than he could ever remember being.

Kaylee's door opened, interrupting his train of thought. And interrupting most of the blood flow to his brain, truth be told. She was wearing a short skirt that he'd only seen on her once or twice before, and a short sleeved bright pink shirt he'd seen several times before. He liked that shirt on her, it showed just enough of her skin to tease him.

"Simon?" The sound of her voice made him realize that he'd been staring.

He stepped forward and pulled her in for a kiss. "You sure we can't stay behind?"

"Come on, it'll be fun." Kaylee said. "Besides, it ain't every day a job goes as smooth as this one did, and it really ain't all that often that the cap'n decides to take a night off."

"Yeah, you're right." Simon admitted. "But if anyone starts singing about Jayne, we're leaving."

Kaylee laughed. "Deal. Come on." ___________________

The bar was similar in size to the one in Canton. But it definitely didn't smell quite so bad, and the booze was a hell of a lot better. And, Kaylee thought happily, the seating was a definite improvement. She shifted on Simon's lap and took another sip of her beer while she listened to him talk about the ancient Egyptians of Earth That Was. Or listened as best she could with his warm body against hers, his arm around her waist and his hand resting on her thigh.

"And they believed that the brain was useless, that the heart was the center of all a person's thoughts and feelings, so they took the brain out..." Simon paused and looked at Kaylee, who was watching him with rapt attention. "You don't need to hear that part."

"No, come on, tell me." She leaned in closer. "How'd they take it out? Was it really gross?"

"They jammed a hook in through the nostrils and yanked it out bit by bit." Simon replied.

"Oh, ew!" Kaylee wrinkled up her nose, laughing. "So they thought that people think with their hearts? I kinda like that idea somehow." She kissed him softly on the lips. "And I like how you can be so smart and...historical when you're three sheets to the wind."

"I am not." Simon protested. "I'm...slightly tipsy. I'm inebriated. You, on the other hand, are just plain drunk."

Kaylee nodded. "Well, yeah, but at least I can admit it." She leaned in and brushed her lips against his ear as she spoke, wiggled a little more on his lap, and smiled triumphantly when she felt his body respond. "All right, maybe you ain't all that drunk." She took his hand off of her thigh and stood up. "I'm gonna get some air." She winked at him before she left.

Simon was about to stand up and follow her when Jayne stumbled over and sat down. "Now where's she goin'? You piss 'er off again? Damn, Doc, you just ain't any good at talking to a girl even when you been beddin' her, are ya? See, what you gotta do is learn to speak...'Jayne.'"

Simon rolled his eyes. "Really? Tell me something, what's 'Jayne' for 'get lost?'"

"Oh, that's easy. 'Good morning.'" Jayne replied, laughing into his beer.

"Huh." Simon stood up. "Good morning, Jayne." He headed in the direction Kaylee had gone, out the back door. She was leaning against the wall.

"Hey, took you long enough." She said, smiling as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Jayne seemed to think you were mad at me." Simon told her.

Kaylee nodded. "I made a point of lookin' like I was mad when I went by him and the cap'n. Didn't want anyone following us."

"Clever." Simon slid his arms around her waist. "It's nice out here. Quieter. Smells a lot better, too." He leaned in and kissed her neck, inhaling the perfume Inara had given her as a gift when she'd returned to Serenity.

"Nice and private, too." Kaylee pointed out. She pressed against him, moving her hips suggestively.

"Kaylee..." Simon groaned softly. "I'm not sure that's such a great idea."

"Hmm." Kaylee feigned a pout, then reached down and stroked him lightly. "Looks like it's two against one." She kissed him lightly, then started to sink down, unzipping his pants as she went.

Simon knew he had already lost this one even before Kaylee closed her mouth over him, teasing the head of his cock with her tongue. "Okay. I'm convinced." He managed to gasp out. She giggled around him as she took him in deeper. Anyone could walk by at any moment, including a member of their crew. He didn't care, not even a little. Maybe it was the alcohol clouding his judgement, maybe it was the sensation of her mouth wrapped around him. Whatever it was, he was focused completely on Kaylee. When he was with her, nothing else even entered his mind. She made him want to do things he never would have thought of in his old life.

Like make love to her in a dark, dusty alley behind a rundown bar. Yet somehow, in that moment, he couldn't think of a single thing he'd rather do.

Kaylee released him and sat back on her heels, looking up at him with an inviting, sultry look on her face. She gasped as he clutched her shoulders gently and pulled her up into his arms. He was about to back her into the wall when he saw how dirty and rough it looked. Glancing around, he saw a stack of metal crates a few feet to the right and guided her over to sit on them. She ran her fingers through his hair and pulled him in for another kiss, then another, soft, then deep and hungry. Without breaking the kiss, Simon carefully eased her back so she was lying on the crate, then slid one hand up her thigh

"So, you planned this, right?" He asked breathlessly. "That's why you wore a skirt?"

"It crossed my mind." Kaylee admitted, trying to push closer to his hand. She had to bite her lower lip to keep from crying out when he stroked her through her panties. His other hand slipped under her shirt, cupping her breast under her bra, lightly pinching her nipple. She had been thinking about this all day, and had gotten herself worked up plenty. She didn't need teasing or seduction, she needed him.

"You are so beautiful right now." Simon groaned in her ear. He kissed her again as he pulled her underwear down until they were dangling off her right ankle, then moved back, placing his hands on her knees and spreading her legs. He thrust two fingers into her, testing. She was more than ready for him, so wet and tight he thought he might go off as soon as he got inside her.

"God, Simon." Kaylee gasped out, wrapping her legs tight around his hips. "I want...please, just..." She grabbed the front of his shirt to pull herself up and kissed him, covering her moan and his as he pushed into her. She clung to him, whispering his name as he started thrusting. "Oh, Simon. This is so good." As inaccurate a description as that was, it was the best she could manage, and within a few seconds even that much would have been impossible, she could barely catch her breath, let alone find her voice. He was hitting that spot that always made her shiver, and his fingers were on her clit, pinching and rubbing.

"Kaylee." Simon moaned against her lips, kissing her over and over. "You feel so...oh, God, Kaylee...I love you."

"Love you." Kaylee whimpered, clutching at his shoulders. She glanced down and moaned, transfixed by the sight of his cock moving in and out of her, slick from her body. It made her head spin just to see it. She was almost there, she could feel it building inside her. Just a little more...

"That's it, baobei." Simon groaned against her throat. "Let go, I've got you." He rubbed her clit harder and pushed deeper into her. She was letting out quick, mewling moans, the way she always did when she was about to come. God, he loved that sound.

Kaylee threw her head back and called out his name as she climaxed, a rush of heat spreading through her entire body. Simon kissed her, held her tight against him as he released into her.

They stayed like that, wrapped up in each other, kissing tenderly. Kaylee ran her fingers through Simon's hair and stroked his shoulders and back, soothing him as he came down. She loved the afterglow, reveled in it, in the feel of him relaxing in her arms and in her body, in the wet heat that seeped out where they were still joined. In the sound of their heartbeats and breathing gradually slowing down.

But they couldn't stay like that forever, and when he shifted in her arms and slid free of her body, she let him step back and watched as he zipped his pants back up and straightened his shirt. Then she laughed when he reached down and pulled her underpants back up her legs. Any excuse to touch her, to look at her. It made her feel beautiful, made her feel loved.

"You're a bad influence on me, you know that?" Simon whispered, kissing her right below her ear. "Corrupting me like this."

"I do my best." Kaylee giggled, wrapping her arms around him again. "'Sides, you need a little corruptin', if ya ask me."

"Maybe I do." Simon admitted.

"There you two are."

At the sound of Mal's voice, Simon and Kaylee both froze, slowly turning to face the captain. Jayne and Zoe were right there with him.

Kaylee took a split second to make sure that her clothes were straightened. "Cap'n, uh, we were just-"

"That's great." Mal interrupted. "But we gotta get going, and I mean quick, come on." He started walking quickly, motioning for them to follow.

It was only then that Simon became aware of the sounds coming from inside the bar, shouting, glasses breaking, punches landing. "What happened?"

"Jayne happened." Mal said without looking back. "What do you think?" He was running now, and the rest of them followed suit. __________________

"Let me guess, Jayne?" Inara asked, looking down from the catwalk as the cargo bay doors closed behind the group.

"Why's it that every time we run into trouble, everyone always figures it's me?" Jayne asked, frowning.

"We've met you." Mal replied, hitting the comm. "We're on, little albatross. You get her heated up, I'll be there in a minute."

"Shir ah, Captain." River's voice answered.

As Mal headed for the stairs, he saw Simon and Kaylee hanging back. "By the way, just what were you two doing out there?" He asked, hoping that there was a reasonable, and not at all nauseating explanation. Or that they would have the decency to make one up.

No such luck. They both just looked at the ground, stammering.

"Oh, for the love of..." Mal groaned, wishing like hell he'd just left well enough alone. "Can't take you two anywhere, can I?" ____________________

Translations:

baobei = precious, darling. shir ah = affirmative.