Chapter One: Something Familiar Something Peculiar

"Change of plans," Captain Malcolm Reynolds said as he strode down the steps into the cargo bay. First Mate Zoe Washburn, Pilot Hoban "Wash" Wasburn and Mercenary/Public Relations officer, Jayne Cobb, all looked up in surprise.

"What kind of change?" Jayne asked suspiciously.

"You're coming with us on this run," Mal said, pointing to Wash.

"Me?" Wash stared at Mal and then glanced at Zoe. "Since when you voluntarily take me along?"

"Since our contact just waved me and said that he wants to meet our ship's pilot. Apparently he doesn't deal with anyone until he sees what kind of pilot they have."

"Strange request," Zoe commented.

Mal shrugged. It was a new contact that they had been referred to by Badger. Now normally Mal wouldn't have gone near anyone that Badger had recommended but after checking with some other contacts, Mal had decided to give this guy a chance. "He's a former pilot, claims that any idiot can buy a ship and that he doesn't deal with anyone until he knows who's flying."

"What's his name?" Wash asked.

"Raptor," Mal said. "Or at least that's what he goes by."

"Used to have one of those," Wash commented. At the confused looks he was getting, "Raptor-vicious dinosaur from Earth-That Was, I had a model of those when I was a kid, my favorite one but it broke when I was ten."

"Right," Mal said. "Well you and our contact can trade dinosaur stories all you want, as long you convince him that you can fly his cargo from here to wherever he wants it."

"I think I can manage that," Wash said.

Mal nodded, "Alright, lets go then."

Mal, Zoe, Jayne and Wash left the ship, Serenity, and walked towards the bar where they were going to meet their contact. They all sat down in a back corner, ordered drinks and looked around the bar.

"We early or is he late?" Zoe asked.

"We're a little early," Mal admitted. "We've never dealt with this guy before, wouldn't hurt to show up first, see who he is."

"Think it's an ambush?" Jayne asked, fingering his gun. "Badger set us up?"

"He's got no call to, " Mal said. Relations with Badger had been going well for the past few months. There was no reason to think that he would have set them up. He glanced at Zoe and Jayne, "But be ready just in case."

"What are we looking for?" Wash asked, scanning the crowd. "What's this guy look like?"

Mal shook his head, "No idea. Just said that he would meet us here."

"Maybe we should have a rose on the table or something," Wash suggested. "That way he knows it's us."

Mal rolled his eyes and scanned the bar, looking for someone who might be the man that they knew as Raptor. By now Raptor was a few minutes late and Mal was starting to look around for nearest exit in case it was an ambush.

"That him?" Zoe asked nodding in the direction of a tall man dressed in black. He had black hair and dark eyes. His skin was tanned and leathery with a long scar running across his face.

"Might be," Mal said as the man walked towards their table.

Wash turned to look at the man. His jaw dropped and his eyes widened, "Wuh duh ma huh ta duh fung-kwong duh wai-shung doh."

"Wash," Mal said, quietly. "Whatever it is, save it until later." He looked up at the man as he reached the table. "Raptor?"

"Right," the man said.

Wash stood up and faced Raptor. Raptor took a startled step back, "That the name you're going by now, you Tah mah duh hwoon dahn?"

"Wash," Mal hissed under his breath. "This is our contact." He raised his voice, "Ignore this guy. He has a tendency to get all….stupid, sometimes."

"What in the tyen shiao duh are you doing here, you Ching-wah TSAO duh liou mahng?" Wash said, an unusually angry look on his face.

"I could ask you that same question, BUN tyen-shung duh ee-DWAY-RO," Raptor said, an identical angry expression on his face.

"Look who's talking, you.."Wash started to say but was interrupted.

"Nee mun doh BEE-jway," Mal said, breaking into the argument.

"I know we need the job, Mal," Wash said, not taking his eyes off of Raptor. "But I didn't think we'd sunk this low."

"This is your pilot?" Raptor said, speaking to Mal but staring at Wash. "This is the hotshot pilot you said could fly anything? I wouldn't trust this guy to drive a wagon."

"And the only way you could drive a wagon is if you pulled it yourself," Wash shot back.

"Wash," Mal said, warningly.

Both Wash and Raptor ignored Mal, "What are you doing off that toxic hunk of rock?" Raptor snapped at Wash.

"It was a toxic hunk of rock," Wash snapped back. "I didn't see you sticking around."

"On that toxic hunk of rock," Raptor repeated. "I wouldn't live there if it was a choice between it and a ship full of Reavers."

"Yeah, but you're not civilized enough to hang out with Reavers," Wash said.

"Oh, you think I'm uncivilized, you, FAY-FAY duh PEE-yen" Raptor snapped. "Would you like to know what I think?"

"I'm amazed that you've finally gained the ability to think. I thought you'd left that ability behind in that dive."

"He remembers that," Raptor commented. "Wasn't sure you'd be able to, all the nights you spent there."

"Who dragged me there?"

"Who made you go?"

"I ought to tear you apart," Wash said, making a fist.

"I'd like to see you try it," Raptor said, making a fist of his own.

"Wash," Mal said. "Don't make me shoot you."

Raptor looked away from Wash and at Mal, "I'd really hate for you to do that."

"Right," Wash said. "You're the one who deserves to be shot."

"For what?" Raptor said.

"I can thinking of a million reasons," Wash said, taking a step forward so that he was right in Raptor's face. "Starting with the time you broke my very, very favorite….dinosaur."

"Oh for crying out loud, Hoban," Raptor said. "You were ten, let it go. Besides I introduced you to the Venus Club, isn't that enough."

"The club helps a bit but you will never be able to make up for breaking my dinosaurs," Wash said. He held the angry expression for another second before he and Raptor started laughing and grabbed each other in a huge bear hug.

"I uh take it you guys know each other," Mal said.

Chinese Translations

Wuh duh ma huh ta duh fung-kwong duh wai-shung doh- Holy mother of god and all her wacky Nephews"

Tah mah duh hwoon dahn- Mother humping son of a b****

tyen shiao duh- name of all that's sacred

Ching-wah TSAO duh liou mahng-frog-humping sonofab****

BUN tyen-shung duh ee-DWAY-RO- Stupid inbred stack of meat

Nee mun doh BEE-jway- Everybody shut the hell up

FAY-FAY duh PEE-yen- babboon's [sic] a**-crack

Chinese translations courtesy of BrownCoats.com