Chapter Six: Words That Are Better Unheard, Better Unsaid

Zoë walked up the stairs and onto the bridge. Wash was leaning back in the pilot's chair, staring at the stars. She stood there for a few seconds before Wash spoke, "Mal send you to play good cop?"

Zoë didn't answer but Wash could feel her glare right through his head. He turned in the chair and said, "That was low, sorry."

Zoë walked over and leaned against the railing. She didn't say anything, just stared out the windows.

Wash looked at her, "Mal doesn't have to worry about Adam. He can trust him." Zoë still didn't say anything so Wash said, "Or do you not trust him either?"

"He hasn't given me a reason not to," Zoë said.

"He won't," Wash said. "Adam's…He….Wash sighed, "If I can't trust Adam, then I can't trust anybody."

"Then how come you never mentioned him before?" Zoë asked.

Wash leaned back in his chair, put his hands behind his head and stared at the stars, "On some worlds when a person dies, his name's never spoken again. Some say it's because it dishonors them, others think that speaking their name gives a person power over their soul. I think it's just because it hurts too much to talk about them." He sat up and looked at Zoë.

"You thought he was dead?"

Wash nodded, "About ten years ago, we crashed and I didn't get a chance to see if he was alive before…"

"Before what?" Zoë asked.

"Nothing," Wash said so quickly that Zoë knew not to press the issue. She quickly redirected the subject.

"Little River sure took to him," Zoë observed.

Wash smiled, "That's Adam. He could charm just about anyone."

"Never seen her take to someone that way," Zoë said. "And she didn't seem to bother him neither."

"Adam's always had a soft spot for those smaller and more helpless than him," Wash said. "Couldn't stand bullies. Said that anyone who picked on someone smaller than him were Huh choo-shung tza-jiao duh tzang-huo cowards." Wash laughed softly, "The first time he told me that he got caught…..he probably still can taste the soap that got poured into his mouth….the number of times that she did that ….." Wash stopped and looked away, a pained expression on his face.

"Baby?" Zoë asked, concerned.

Wash shook his head and tried to grin, "Nothing, everything's shiny. Adam's alive, you're here," He reached over and pulled Zoë onto his lap, "And we have the bridge all to ourselves." Wash said, his lips moving to Zoë's neck.

"You tryin' to distract me, husband?" Zoë said.

"Is it working?" Wash asked, his lips moving upwards towards her ear.

Zoë shut her eyes for a second, enjoying the moment but then pulled away, looking Wash in the eye, "What aren't you telling me?"

Wash looked away from her, clearly annoyed. He was quiet for a few minutes and finally said, "Have you told me everything about your life before we met?"

Zoë shook her head, "You know I haven't….stuff during the war…"

"Right," Wash said. "And I've never asked, never made you tell me."

"No," Zoë admitted. "But…

"There are all kinds of war stories," Wash said, looking at her. "All kinds."

"What kind of war.." Zoë started to ask but Wash shook his head.

"Don't ask," Wash told her. Zoë raised her eyebrows questioningly but Wash just said, "Maybe someday."

Zoë nodded and decided to let it go. In all their time together Wash had never pushed her for any details that she didn't want to talk about so it was only fair that she did the same for him.

They were silent for several minutes before Wash spoke again, "I owe Adam everything. I wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for him."

"Have to thank him for that," Zoë said, mildly. She wondered under what kind of circumstances had Adam saved Wash's life. "Don't worry about the Captain. He's got a lot of his mind. Once this job is over with, it'll get better."

"Yeah," Wash said, sadly. "But then Adam will be gone."

Zoë didn't have an answer to this. Wash was right. It was only a few days to Beaumonde and then Adam would be gone. She leaned over and kissed Wash.

"What's that for?" Wash asked as they pulled apart.

Zoë looked around, "We've got the place to ourselves,"Was all she said.

**********

There was a knock on the door, "Come in," Adam called.

The door slid open and Book walked in, "I hope I’m not disturbing you."

Adam shook his head, "Not at all." He gestured to his bag, "Just going through a few things."

"We weren't formally introduced at dinner," Book said, holding out his hand. "I'm Shepard Book."

Adam shook Book's hand, "Good to meet you, though you don't find too many shepard's onboard a ship."

Book nodded, "I needed a break from the Abbey, met up with this crew.." Book shrugged, "Been here ever since."

"Didn't want to leave?" Adam asked.

Book shook his head, "Haven't found a reason too, yet."

Adam looked up, "Can understand why. This is a fine ship. Right up the kid's alley."

"Wash?" Book asked.

Adam grinned, "He always hated his name. I only use it to annoy him. He's been called Kid or The Kid since he was ten. He doesn't like that too much either. I think one of the happiest days of his life was when someone called him Wash during flight school. He's gone by that ever since."

"And only his brother gets to call him Kid, I assume." Book said.

"He hates that name too," Adam said. "I'm the only one who gets away with calling him that anymore."

"Brother's privilege," Book observed.

"Right," Adam said.

"Well you've explained the mystery of Wash's first name but not the one about your last names," Book said.

"You're wondering why we have different last names," Adam said.

"I was," Book admitted.

"It's just the way it is," Adam said, formally. "We just happen to have to have different last names."

"But you're brothers?" Book pressed.

Adam looked straight at Book, "There are all kinds of brothers, you're a shepard, you should know that."

"One of you is adopted then," Book guessed.

"No," Adam said, his voice still formal. "Neither one of us was adopted."

"I'm afraid I don't understand then," Book said.

Adam smiled, "All will be explained, eventually, I’m sure."

Book frowned, "Meaning?"

"If the Kid wants you to know, he'll tell you," Adam said, his voice losing the formal tone. "There's stuff he doesn't like to talk about."

Book nodded, "That's true of most of this ship's crew."

Adam leaned back against the wall, "We all have things we don't want to talk about, Shepard, you, me, the Kid. Hell, I bet even your captain has secrets of his own."

Book nodded, "You're right, we all do. He was unjust in his interrogation of you at dinner."

Adam shrugged, "It's his ship."

"You're being generous," Book said.

Adam shook his head, "Not really, I might want to do business with him in the future. Plus the only family I got is on this boat. If I want to see the Kid again anytime soon, then I need to deal with Malcolm Reynolds."

"Wise path to take," Book said.

Adam waved his hand dismissively, "You do what you got to do, even if you don't want to."

Book stood up, "Like right now. I would like to continue this conversation but it's late and I should turn in."

Adam also stood up, "It's been nice talking with you, Shepard."

They shook hands and Book left for his room, realizing as that Adam had skillfully dodged every one of his questions with the skill of a master at hiding. True, this was something that Book was used to but from Wash and now Adam, it didn't seem to make much sense. What was it that they wanted to keep hidden?

"Different secrets," said a voice.

Book turned and saw River sitting on the floor, "What do you mean?" He asked her.

"Their secrets," River said. "The ones that are theirs together and the ones that are only his," She paused and looked straight up at Book, "And those that aren't his or theirs at all."

"River?" Book asked, trying to understand what she meant.

"Shhhhh," River said putting her finger to her lips. Then she quickly stood up and ran to her own room.

Huh choo-shung tza-jiao duh tzang-huo- Filthy fornicators of livestock