CHAPTER 1 - THE GREAT CHEF RESCUE

Harriet had thought of Serenity as her home for nigh on 18 months now. When she had first been recruited to cook for the crew there had only been Mal, Zoë and Wash aboard and some terrifyingly dumb mechanic. Luckily Mal had got rid of him and taken on Kaylee a couple of weeks after she came on board and since then Serenity had been pretty much always in the sky. She liked the travel, the people didn't always suck (except for Jayne), the life was one she enjoyed and they seemed to like her food. She was canny about getting all the fresh fruit and veg she could at the cheapest prices and if some of her own cut went on small luxuries like strawberries for Kaylee and chocolate for Wash, no one need know. If sometimes the others remarked on how she was able to make the money for food stretch so far, she'd smile, brush it off and continue to fill the refrigerating unit. It would have compromised her off-hand demeanour no end if the rest of the crew had known how much she really loved them.

Her talent for excellent and hearty grub had in any event endeared her to many of the crew. Wash, Jayne and River would follow her around like puppies, particularly on Wednesday (baking day). Even Mal, irritated by another job not going smooth, could be rendered almost human by one of her special flapjacks, made with real oats.

The upside of that horrible moment when the engine blew and they thought Zoë might die and that the Captain was dead, was that the refrigerating compartment had been shut off like everything else and all her carefully frozen dinners had begun to thaw out in those few hours before everything got really cold again. There was nothing for it but a huge party where all the spoiled food was cooked and eaten, fruit savoured and vegetables relished. Book said it was what the church would call a Harvest Festival, a thanksgiving for food and friends. It certainly put colour into even Simon's pale cheeks and River was more lucid than usual enthusing over Harriet's suppers. Kaylee snuck off early with an entire punnet of strawberries and Harriet had watched with amusement as Simon had, as if pulled by some irresistible force, rather reluctantly followed after her within the space of a few minutes. She'd caught Mal's eye and he'd waggled one eyebrow suggestively. She and Inara had giggled and even Jayne's disgusting comment of "don't eat 'er all at once now, Doc" had seemed vaguely funny at the time.

Today, chopping parsley quietly in the galley she reflected on how cooking had such a great ability to calm her. As usual her row with the Captain had irritated her beyond measure but, not, she liked to think, upset her.

"Nope." was all he'd said as he strolled over to the coffee pot that morning.

"*Kuh-oo duh lao bao-jun*[1]! I ain't even asked you yet!"

"Don't care, the answers no and don't go starting all that "you can't order me around" nonsense. This is my boat and I ain't interested in whether you like takin' orders or not. We're not staying long enough, so you won't be goin'."

"They need me! Since Ma died they ain't got no one to do for them. Just let me go and fill their refrigerating unit. it won't take more'n a week!"

"Hat, I ain't got the time or the inclination to argue with you." Mal sighed and rubbed his nose with a finger. The job, as always, was not going as smoothly as he would have liked and Harriet wanting to pay her kin a visit wasn't helping. Harriet, as always when he looked so tired, resisted the urge to give in and make his life that little bit easier. She stood her ground (all five foot of it) and glared. She had a nasty stare perfected from a childhood as the youngest of four, with three elder and difficult brothers.

'The Stare' made Mal want to take a step back, but he'd faced down the barrel of a gun more than a few times. There was no way he was gonna be brow beaten by a slip of a girl, however good her dinners.

"And it ain't gonna do you a mite of good glaring at me in that fashion. I ain't one of your brothers. And, what's more, t'ain't my fault as not one of them could get hisself a woman to do for 'im. I mean, gorramit Hat, I ain't never met a more ornery bunch of good for nothing.!"

Harriet sighed. "Fine", she snapped, before he was reduced to Chinese to describe the uselessness of her family. "But, Captain," the word said with exaggerated care since she seldom called him by his title, being as it was against her democratic ethics, "could I remind you that they are my family, whatever you may think of them and I'll thank you not to call 'em names, least ways where I can hear."

Mal yelped. "But you call 'em names all the time, I've heard you!"

"Yes, I'm ALLOWED! As I said, they're my bunch a good for nothin' reprobates! . Now, I'm sure you have that job to be getting on with and I certainly have lunch to prepare. I heard tell that all that gun toting makes Jayne and Zo awful ravenous. Hope you ain't expecting to eat though." With a haughty perk of her nose, in an attempt to rise above the rather taller figure in front of her, she turned and began chopping onions with icy precision. At least that way she could blame the onions.

She heard him mutter; "right fine, gotta be gettin' on," behind her and stomp out. She found that, after all, she had no need to mask her tears with onions; she wasn't upset so much as livid. How dare he issue diktats against visiting her own family! Just 'cos he didn't like them, and to be fair, understandably, being as they were pretty vile and Jonah had beaten up Jayne quite badly following that altercation over a whore. but, then, he had sort of deserved it.

***

She was just pulling a huge chicken pie out of the oven, when Wash, with his usual impeccable timing, sauntered in, led by the smell of baking, followed by Kaylee gripping some engine part and talking excitedly about updating the extenders.

"Oh my God, Hat, how do you do it? Is that really chicken pie?" Wash sauntered over for a good sniff and a prod. Harriet hit him with a tea towel.

"It is, made with the finest protein. But it's for supper, when the others get back and not a moment 'fore!"

"If'n I hadn't met my Zo, you know I would have made the moves on you, just for your pie, don'tcha?"

"Oh Wash!" Kaylee moaned good-naturedly, "what happened to wantin' me if you hadn't a taken up with Zoë? Yer so gorram fickle!"

"Oopps! Sorry, Ladies, form an orderly queue!" Wash said with a mocking smile and bow.

"Ladies, queuing? Where?" said Jayne, appearing in the doorway. He seemed to be covered all over with some kind of orange mud. "Is supper ready? We got the cargo. Now we just have to make the meet and hand it over and it ain't like Zephyr's a big place. Cap' got hisself shot again, though." Then, shouting over the squeal from Kaylee and Wash's "is my Zoë ok?", "Gorammit, he ain't hurt bad, Doc's stitching him up now. He said to tell you," looking at Harriet, "to dish up. Hey, is that chicken pie?" Jayne began to salivate as his big head drooped over the dish.

"Oh, *go se*[2]! Why can't you all just go away?" Harriet gritted her teeth. "Jayne, go get cleaned up NOW. Wash, round everyone up. Kaylee..." but Kaylee was already fishing about in the cupboards for plates and cutlery and simply grinned. "Thanks!" Sighed Harriet gratefully at her. Really, sometimes she felt like the whole gorram ship's mother!

"Anything you say, Mommy dearest!" said Wash, eerily echoing her thoughts and ran from the room.

***

Supper was a strange affair. Inara was out with a client, Zoë and Jayne where tired, but happy that the job had gone ok so far, and still adrenaline fuelled. Between then they ate most of the food. Simon was polite as always, complementing Harriet on the pie and chatting to Kaylee about the extenders. Mal was tired and his arm hurt where it'd been clipped. Nor could he ignore that he had been given substantially less food than everyone else when Harriet had dished up. She was obviously still mad.

"She giventh and she taketh away," said River quietly, looking at Mal. He sniggered as did the preacher, but Harriet glared.

"Thank you, River, that was most helpful!" She said, as icily as she could.

"How much longer are we gonna be here, Mal?" asked Wash, valiantly trying to change the course of the conversation, but instead managing to pinpoint with extraordinary accuracy the exact point of contention.

"Well," Mal sighed, "I reckon it'll take us a couple more days to make contact and then a day or two to transport and hand over the goods, say, a week?"

Harriet had got up to fetch the last of the pie and snorted audibly, banging the dish on the sideboard and looking pointedly at Mal. Not one failed to miss the tension and everyone looked from her to him and back again, as though watching a tennis match.

"Anyone want more pie?" she said pleasantly. Everyone, except Zoë and Simon held up their plates and Harriet divided the remnant equally between them all, intentionally ignoring Mal's proffered dish. He sighed dramatically and reached for the water.

"Ok, Hat!" he said at last, grudgingly, "you can go see your folks if'n you're so set on it, BUT," he raised a finger at her smirk, "this ain't because o' you're punishing me by withholding food or nothing. Just so happens this job is gonna take a mite longer than I first thought. And don't blame me if we have to clear out real quick once we done the deal and leave you behind, ain't got no time to be rounding up mavericks!"

"Oh, I surely won't," smiled Harriet, wondering why Mal tired to argue with her when they both knew she always won. "I'll be there and back here in four days, I promise. 'sides," she laughed as she pulled out a tiny pie she'd made with the leavings of the big one and set it before Mal, "you know I can only take my brothers for a day or two before I'll be bound to shoot 'em myself!"

***

Harriet set down her carpetbag with a suppressed groan as the huge men barrelled towards her. Any one of her brothers could have given Jayne a run for his money in height and breadth and, indeed, Jonah had, about a year previously, whupped Jayne's ass over a whore.

"Hey Jonah, hey Jake, hey Ged!" She said, forcing as much enthusiasm into her voice as she could muster. "How's Pa?"

"He ain't doin' too well at present, but he'll be awful glad to see you right enough," said Jake. "It's good to see ya, little sis."

Each of her brothers joined in the greeting, roughly hugging her to them as Hat tired not to breath in the overpowering odour of unwashed clothes, tobacco and old sweat. She would have been far more appreciative if they hadn't been practically carrying her towards the kitchen as they talked.

"We stocked up on provisions," Jonah said, "so's you can get to the cooking with no delays." He shushed her eagerly with his hands onwards towards the stove. Harriet told herself she'd asked for this really, reached down her Ma's old apron from the back of the kitchen door and got right to work. Without another word, but exchanging significant glances, her brothers melted contentedly from the kitchen. They knew from experience that good ol' Hat worked better if not disturbed.

***

Mal ambled to the stove, one hand searching for the coffee pot as he examined a piece of the cargo with the other.

"I ain't saying as it's illegal, Zoë, I'm just saying as it don't look entirely legit, is all." He held out the small square of plastic and welding, a random computer part stamped with a corporate logo.

"Yeah, I know what you mean, Sir. That Blue Sun don't look too well defined. I'd say we're talking counterfeiters." She nodded.

"Well, then it's best this stuff don't stay on Serenity any longer than needs be. Go tell Jayne we'll be moving out in around a half hour, just as soon as I've had a decent cup of coffee. Gorramit!!" Mal spat out a mouthful of the evil brew he'd just poured from the hob. "Who the hell made this? . Harriet!!" he yelled in anguish.

"She ain't here, Sir, 'member? She's gone to see her folks."

"'Course I remember! Me sayin' "Harriet" was more like a cry for help. See, this is why I don't make a habit of letting her go visiting. Everything goes to hell when she ain't here."

"I'm guessing Jayne made that coffee, Sir, he has a certain feral attitude to food preparation that just ain't playing fair."

"Ever considered making coffee yourself, Captain?" Asked Inara shrewdly, stepping into the galley and beginning to prepare tea.

"Ah, now that, I think you'll find, would be in the nature of keeping a dog and barking myself, wouldn't it?" said Mal.

"Who's the dog?" asked Wash, sneaking up behind Zoë and wrapping his arms around her.

"Harriet is, apparently," said Zoë, with a sharp glare at Mal.

"Oh that ain't nice," said Wash. "No dog I ever met could cook like her."

"That ain't what I'm saying," said Mal exasperated. "I just meant... oh to *diyu*[3] with what I meant! Is it too much to ask for five minutes peace to drink a cup of coffee?"

"Here," said Inara, "I've made tea, have a cup of that." And she placed a steaming mug in front of him.

Mal sniffed it suspiciously. "Is it herbal?"

"A fine blend mixed to my specific specifications. Lost, I suspect, on a petty thief, but there you go," sighed Inara as she left, balancing her own tea on a tray.

"Meet you in the cargo bay in five then, Sir." Said Zoë as she headed towards the cockpit followed by Wash saying excitedly, "ohh, you'll be amazed what I can do with a whole five minutes."

Mal sipped his tea somewhat reluctantly. He was more than a little annoyed with Harriet. These kind of things always happened when she went away. Little things that it was stupid to make a big fuss about, but that got you down. Nothing was as much fun or as cosy-feeling without her. So, she'd stocked the refrigerator and left little notes pinned to the top of various dishes and tubs with dinner instructions on them, but it just wasn't the same. Things tasted better when you knew that you had someone to argue the toss with. It was so amusing to watch those bright green eyes spark with anger and listen to a witty retort.

He brought himself up short. How the hell did he know what colour eyes Hat had? Now that he thought about it, he couldn't even remember Inara's eye colour and she was far more attractive than that diminutive, blond harpy! He shook his head and set his lips in a hard line. He'd never been one for creature comforts, but Hat appeared to be one of those comforts he'd gotten used to having, waiting in his ship after a caper. Still, she'd been gone for two days already, only two to go, he thought. Scaring himself with how much he missed her, he forced himself to laugh softly and headed heavily for the cargo bay.

***

"I already told you!" Harriet was all but yelling now, "I can stay until tomorrow and then I gotta get back. If'n I don't they're as like as not to take off without me!"

"And if they did?" said her Pa from his seat by the fire in the deep-winged chair from which he hardly now ever arose, "it sounds to me like they ain't much of a loss. A whore, who, I might add, turned down Ged." ("Companion" said Harriet under her breath.)

"A mercenary," went on her father, "a couple of rebels and a preacher! Don't sound to me like you'd be missing out on much if you did stay here."

"Pa, you know I hate to argue with you, don't lets ruin my visit." Hat tried in a softer tone, but Jake cut in:

"Take a look around you, girl! Don't ya care about your kin? We don't got no one to do for us and it t'aint right for us to do for ourselves, we're men, Gorammit! We all works hard of a day to keep this ranch goin'! A man needs home fires to come back to and the warmth of a woman's touch."

"Hey! Hang on one cotton-picking minute," said Hat, "you ain't getting no women's touch for me, you inbred *hwoon dahn*[4] AND I AIN'T," her voice rose almost to a squeak, "gonna sacrifice my life for you useless bunch of degenerates. I came here, didn't I? I sure as *diyu*[5] didn't have to! I've cooked for you, cleaned a bit and filled the refrigerator, but that, big brother, is your lot! So I suggest you get used to the feel of a cooking pan in your hand and fast!"

"Oh, believe you me," said Jake, suddenly leaning in close and leering menacingly at her, "Jonah's already a dab hand."

He was looking at something behind Hat as he said this, and as she swung round, Hat heard or rather felt a sharp crack on her skull and then the stars and the black came rushing up to meet her as she fell like a sack of potatoes. Jonah, ever a lover of mindless violence, brandished a large, food encrusted saucepan and sniggered at Jake, the brains.

"Took your sweet time, didn't ya, Jonah? *Ta ma duh*[6], but that girl's got a mouth on her. Dunno where she learned to jaw like that tho, I'm certain it weren't from Ma. Right, I got a plan all mapped out, but first I'm fixing to sort out our little sis as should have been done long ago."

***

Kaylee and River were playing jacks and Book was exercising in the cargo bay when the Captain strode in swearing profusely in Chinese. He was followed by Zoë, who was sniggering gently and Jayne, who looked rueful.

"*Lao TYEN yeh*[7] Jayne, even when a scheme's goin' smoother than it has any business to, you just love ta wreak havoc, don't ya?"

"What happened, Cap?" asked Kaylee, getting up form her game, "did we get the coin?"

"We surely did, Little Kaylee," said Mal, swinging a leisurely arm round his mechanic and pulling her to him, "despite Jayne's best attempts to get us SHOT!" The last part of the sentence was yelled across at Jayne, who hung his head, muttering something unintelligible that sounded like; "I din't know she weren't professional."

"But I aint fixing to talk about that anytime soon," shuddered Mal. "It's time to get us gone. Wash?" He yelled, just as Wash appeared on the walkway above, "is everyone aboard? Put us in the air, now."

Behind him he could hear Zoë, in a stage whisper, filling Kaylee and River in and it was making him feel all kinds of uncomfortable.

"So," whispered Zoë, "it turns out she's Felix's only surviving daughter and, don't this just cap it all? She's only 13! Jayne's lucky he got a way with his manhood intact!"

Meanwhile Wash was saying, in a nervous voice as though waiting for the other shoe to drop, "uh, Mal. we ain't quite all aboard as you might say."

"Huh?"

"We just this minute got a waive come in from one of Hat's folks, you all might wanna come up and see it."

***

"Hunh!" was all Mal could find to say. They were all clustered round the com. on the bridge listening to the waive from Ged, Mal thought it was. He'd never rightly been able to keep Harriet's brothers straight. Still, wouldn't need to now.

Ged's gist was that Harriet had taken pity on her family and decided to stay. She was sorry not to say goodbye, but was real busy. If they could just parcel up her stuff and send it on from wherever they next made landfall, they'd be mighty grateful.

Mal was livid. Hat might be feisty, but she had a good heart and was known to take pity on small, weak things, which she fed and nurtured and then cried about when they died (as they invariably did). So she'd decided her duty was to look after her good for nothing brothers, had she? Well, that was just all manner of shiny. She'd better not be fixing for Mal to talk her out of it, 'cos he wouldn't do it. Her choice, her bed to lie in. (He winced as an image of a sleepy Harriet, snuggled cosy and safe in her cabin bed, came unbidden into his mind).

Everyone was looking at him expectantly. He pushed himself away from the console. "Well, you heard the man. Wash, get us out of here. Kaylee, you'll pack Hat's stuff up, have it ready for when we reach Persephone. We'll send it on from there. Now you can all stop looking at me like I killed your puppy. Harriet's made her choice and I don't see any call for us to be interferin' in family business, which ain't no business of ours! You all got jobs to do, I'm thinking, so get doin' them." With that, he stalked out of the cockpit, amazed by how hurt he was that she hadn't even said goodbye.

Kaylee watched him go. Tears shone in her eyes as she turned to the others. "She wouldn't just leave without saying goodbye. Harriet ain't like that. She's just not!" She looked pleadingly at Simon to back her up. Simon, who had watched the whole scene unfold with his mouth slightly ajar, shook his head.

"I don't know, Kaylee, maybe she just couldn't face it. I don't know." He shook his head again.

"No." Said Zoë suddenly, from her position leaning on the back of Wash's seat. "Kaylee's right, that just ain't Hat's way. There's something not quite right about this whole thing and I'm betting I know what it is."

Without another word she stalked from the room, following Mal, with the others trailing after her. All except Wash, who's plaintive, "what about me, shall I put us in the air or not?" echoed behind them. Book turned as he left.

"Better had, Wash, you know how the Captain gets when he's crossed." Wash nodded and reached to press the buttons above his head.

***

"You upset her, didn't you, Sir?" said Zoë accusingly, leaning confrontationally across the galley table. "You said something crass and insensitive and now she ain't never coming back. Ain't that they way of it, Sir?"

The captain, fiddling at the stove with the coffee-pot, turned and gaped. "Zoë, I ain't got no notion what you're talking on and, frankly, I ain't mightily interested. I am, however, pretty ruttin' sure I heard myself tell everyone to go get on with their jobs. Or was I hallucinating?"

"No Sir," said Zoë, standing her ground, "weren't no hallucination, but I ain't going nowhere till we sort this thing out. We all knew it was only a matter of time. You got to bickering and you said something unforgivable and now she's fixing to forget about us all."

"I swear, Mal," growled Jayne from behind Zoë, "if you've done anything to screw up the best gorram cook we've ever had and I lose out on my feed, I'm just sure as hell gonna go get Vera."

Mal glared at them all. "That weren't the way of it!" he said, in a hurt tone. "Honest! I ain't got no trouble with Hat, least ways no more'n usual, but that don't mean nothing, jus' means as we like a good spat, is all."

None of the crew looked convinced and Inara sighed dramatically, signifying her disbelief. Mal swung round, ready to yell his whole gorram crew out if needs be. Why the hell were they all blaming him for what was clearly Hat's own senseless decision? Let her rot, was his last uncharitable thought before Book spoke calmly into a silence caused by everyone taking a breath prior to all yelling at once.

"I don't mean to be rude, but aren't we in danger of overlooking the most obvious explanation in all this?"

He paused and Mal raised an inquiring eyebrow.

"Harriet pretty much hates her brothers as much as we do, right?" Book went on.

A chorus of "right" and "hell yes" went round the room.

"So why would she want to stay with them? She may be sympathetic by nature, but she's not one to buy a sob story, especially from her own kin. We've heard nothing from Harriet herself, only from her brothers. I'd lay one to a dozen that she's not staying willingly. If she was, she'd surely come to say her good-byes and collect her things at the very least." He paused for dramatic effect and, realising that all eyes were on him and his exposition, he concluded, "I think the question we should really be asking is, what have her brothers done to her to make her stay? I'm betting it's pretty hard to make Harriet do anything she's not inclined towards."

He looked into Mal's eyes, which had turned a deep forbidding blue and said, "so, Captain, what's it to be? Do we carry on to Persephone or go fetch back our cook?"

Mal's mouth had set in a hard, frightening line. "Son of a bitch!" He said, more to himself than them. "Wash, turn the ship around, we're going back to Zephyr. Jayne, go find Vera and I swear to God, if they've so much as frightened her, they ain't never gonna eat solid food again. Zoë, you're with me."

"Wait!" Said Inara, laying a gentle but firm hand on his arm as he would have stalked from the room. "Mal, listen to me!"

Mal gave a frustrated snort, but didn't move, looking at her enquiringly. "Lets face facts," she said. "Ok, so we don't know that Harriet's brothers have done anything to her, but if they have. you've got to stay focused. Don't kill them. Harriet won't want that, if she's still alive." As Inara voiced the thought in the back of everyone's minds, hers wasn't the only face to turn a shade paler at the sentiment. "Remember, they're still her family, Mal."

Mal shook her hand from his arm roughly. "Not no more, they ain't! They lost that right when they hurt her, if they hurt her."

Inara wasn't to be shaken off so easily. She moved to stand in front of him. "Mal, promise me!" she said again, self-consciously allowing a note of pleading into her voice and look, as she gazed up at him from below her lashes.

Mal's face suddenly relaxed somewhat and he leant towards her, saying, so quietly that only she could hear, "wiles!" Then louder he said, "all right, 'Nara, I'll take heed. I got no need for killin' nohow, save when it's called for." And with that, he headed off to find his gun.

***

When Harriet came to it was dark and very cold and she was finding it hard to move. She knew exactly where she was. Could practically see it, despite the gloom. After all, she'd grown up on this ranch. She was in the old cowshed. The faint smell of long dead heifers hung around the barn. She hurt all over. She had a feeling her *hwoon dahn*[8] brothers had worked her over pretty good. They'd always been rough, but this really was beyond a joke. She was pretty sure she'd cracked a rib. At least, something hurt in her side. She'd need Simon to be sure.

A lantern bobbed through the open door of the shed and Jake came in, closely followed by Ged and Jonah.

"Well, little sis," he said calmly, as he put down the lantern in front of her. "There's two ways this can happen. It's your choice."

"I'm surprised you can count that high!" Snipped Harriet. "Don't matter nohow. Captain Reynolds will come lookin' for me when I don't get back."

"Nope," Jake shook his head, "ain't gonna happen. Jonah here went up the high hill a couple of hours ago and watched Serenity take off. They're gone, Harriet. G-O-N-E. Your precious Captain ain't comin' for you and the sooner you get used to that notion, the better. It'll make you're decision a mite easier."

"And you can spell, who'd have thought it!" said Harriet, in an amazed voice. "I'm at a loss to work out exactly why you're needin' me, what with you all being such geniuses and all."

"You think you're so much ruttin' better'n us, Hat!" Snarled Ged, "always did. Well now, you'd better start learnin' shuttin' up."

Harriet stuck out her tongue. Couldn't help it, even though she knew it would make them mad. Or madder. As far as she was concerned they'd already give a box of frogs a run for their money.

"So, here's yer choice," Jake went on. "Your friends ain't coming to get yer. You're on yer own. You can either agree to do for us and not complain. We'll have to chain you up, of course, it's only fair, but we'll let you have yer freedom or..."

"I don't need to hear the or!" Said Harriet. "Whatever it is, I'll take it. After what you three *huh choo-shung huh tza-jiao duh tzang-huo*[9] have done, and, by the way, I think you cracked a rib, if you think I'd ever WILLINGLY do for you, yer stupider than I figured. You gonna have to kill me or let me go, that's the deal I'm makin'."

"Oh we got sommat much better'n that," smirked Jake cheerfully. "Ged, the stuff, now."

Harriet saw the hypodermic, saw the needle pressing into her arm and them slowly, everything went fuzzy. She looked up into the faces of three burly young men.

"Who the *guay*[10] are you?"

***

Zoë stopped off at her room on the way towards the cargo bay to change into her bulletproof vest (just in case) and it was there that Wash found her.

"You really think Hat's in trouble?" he asked worriedly.

"Well, since the Captain says he didn't do nothin', it does seem like a reasonable explanation." Her head disappeared inside her shirt and popped out again. She was looking seriously at Wash.

"I reckon it'll happen though. Whatever happens today, I mean, won't make no difference."

"What will happen? I'm sorry honey, but I'm pretty much confused here."

"He'll upset her, she'll leave. it's either that or they'll. but then," Zoë now seemed to be talking to herself rather than her husband, "neither of them like complications, so, yup, I'd say she won't be stayin' forever."

Wash faced the air to one side of his wife's head and said; "This must be why they say women are a mystery! Wife, I got no earthly clue what you're on about, but so long as there's a chance of you getting decent food back on the menu, I'm all for it. Just take care - goes without sayin', I know, but be careful!"

"Always am, husband, always am!" Said Zoë, as she headed back up the ladder.

***

Book had agreed to look after River since the Captain seemed to think the doctor might be needed on what Wash was calling the Great Chef Rescue. They were together in the galley. Book was cleaning up the remnants of a week without Harriet; the last thing she'd want to see if they did get her back, he reasoned, was a decimated kitchen. River was 'helping', if watching, muttering and occasionally moving tins around could be called 'help'.

"You're worried, aren't you?" asked River.

Calmly Book turned to her. "Yes, River, I am. None of us know what's happened to Harriet and whether she's ok. She's part of our lives here; of course I'm worried! We all are."

"It's ok." River's hand rested gently on his arm as she looked into his eyes. "She doesn't know what she was, but she can't hide who she is. Daddy will come for her, she just won't know it."

Book wondered whether it should worry him that he found River's words oddly more comforting, though he didn't understand more than half, than the words of his Bible, which he understood completely.

***

The girl gathered that the nice men were her brothers. When they'd told her this, she'd felt a rush of gratitude to them for grounding her at last. She'd felt so lost, so swimming in a sea of nothingness, no memories. Her name was Harriet, they'd said. Apparently she'd hit her head and lost her memory, they said. That didn't explain the furry feeling to everything, the pain in her chest or the nagging sensation of having just forgotten something so important, but at least it was something.

"And that," reflected Harriet, "that's not nothing, as Mal would say." Now why on earth had she thought that? Who was Mal anyhow? Don't force it, one of her brothers had said, Ged she thought, although she was having a hard time keeping them straight. It would all come back to her in time. But for now, she was cooking. Something at least that she seemed able to do with skill and artistry, though somehow not quite remembering why. Seemed to come natural, was all.

From the window of the ranch's large kitchen she could see a mule coming into the yard and her brothers talking to some men and a woman sitting on it. The woman was sitting in a lithe and languid pose and she was so pretty, but strong looking, Harriet felt a rush of pleasure and wondered if her brothers would invite her in. Then the man who'd leapt off the still moving mule and was talking excitedly to Jake, caught her attention. She was overcome by such a strong feeling for this terrifyingly stern man, but whether it was fear or joy she really had no idea. Something just seemed to nag away at her, almost as if she knew him. Well, maybe she did? How the hell would she know, after all?

***

"We just thought as we'd deliver Hat's things in person, is all," Mal was saying, gesturing to a couple of trunks strapped to the back of the mule. "Seemed like the neighbourly thing to do, seein' as how she's been on my crew for a while now. Where's she at anyhow?" He craned his head around, attempting to see past the brothers towards the low, brooding shape of the ranch house beyond.

"She's indoors and busy." said Jake curtly. "If'n you'll just hand over her stuff, I'll tell her you were here."

"Uh uh," Mal shook his head. "We're fixed on seeing her, Zoë here came all this way just to get Hat's recipe for cheese cake and she ain't goin' without it! We just wanna make sure she's content, is all."

"Best come in then," said Jake, sounding none too pleased and leading them into the parlour. "Go get 'er then." He turned on Jonah. "What you still standin' here for?"

Jonah shuffled out.

***

Ten minutes later, just as Mal had finally had enough of sitting restlessly on Hat's brothers' horsehair sofas, trying to get change out of her mute father, Harriet wandered in looking relaxed, even cheerful. On first glance she looked fine and all his resentment at her leaving flared up, making him want to shake the complacency out of her. Yet, at the same time the sight of her, wiping the flour from her hands with her apron, a large smudge of what looked like chocolate twisting through an eyebrow and down one cheek was so surprisingly dear, that his longing to have her back on Serenity almost overpowered him.

"Harriet," said Jake, "the Captain here wants to know if you're staying here of yer own free will and gladly?"

Hat looked at him, rather vaguely, Mal thought and answered; "Oh yes, brother, more'n happy. It's so good to be cooking proper again."

Mal opened his mouth to speak, while at the same time Simon stepped forward, took Harriet by the shoulders, gently but firmly and turned her to face him.

"Are you absolutely sure, Harriet?" he asked. He was looking into her eyes as if searching for something and his eyebrows creased together in the way they had when he was confused or thinking hard. "Harriet?" he tired again.

Before Harriet could respond, Jake barked; "Hat, back to the kitchen, there's work to be done!" and without another word, she turned and moved to leave the room. Jake turned, "well, gentleman and lady, you've seen her, you've spoken to her, I guess there's no more to be said."

"I've a mind to agree with you," said Mal, calmly, but with a deadly purpose. "There ain't no more to be said, but there's more to be done!"

As he spoke he raised his pistol and cocked it slowly, so that it hung in the air about 10 inches from Jake's open mouth. In the silence that followed the clicks of Jayne's and Zoë's guns could be heard, each covering a different brother, as if by common assent, though no words had been exchanged.

Mal went on, "now I know you done something to 'er! The Hat I know would never EVER leave a room on a man's say so, be he brother or no, least ways not without a snippy remark or two to go along with it."

Harriet had paused, her hand on the doorknob, gaping at the scene. Simon spoke up from behind Mal and as he did so stepped towards Harriet again. "I think they've drugged her with something, Captain. I'm not entirely sure that she even knows who we are. If we get her back to Serenity I should be able to run some tests, find out what they gave her."

"Or," said Mal looking flint-eyed at Jake, "you could save us all a whole peck o' trouble and just tell us. After all, it's lookin' like your little caper's gone west right about now. Plus, if you don't come clean, I may be wrong, but I'm pretty sure Jayne here will put a bullet in yer brother. Jayne's a man as really loves his food and you were fixing to take it way from him, so he's feeling a mite short on charity."

Ged held up a shaking hand, he was the smallest of the brothers and the tall, amazon woman holding a shotgun to his head was scaring him somewhat. In his hand was a small vial. Simon grabbed it and stowed it in his pocket.

"Well, that's a mark in your favour anyhow," said Mal. "We'll consider it a kindness and be off now. Us and Harriet. I ain't gonna shoot ya, but ONLY cos yer Hat's kin and it might upset her - once she comes to, that is. BUT you EVER contact her again and, so help me, I will end each and every one of you, and that includes you! Drop it!" Mal, still looking at Jake, had raised his other arm, a second pistol cocked towards their father, who was in the process of lifting the blankets from his legs to show a loaded gun. He hastily dropped it to the floor.

"Let's go." With a last glare, Mal turned to leave. Jonah, incensed and clearly not in full possession of his meagre faculties, lunged at him as he left and was soundly pistol-whipped with the but of Jayne's revolver for his pains.

"I'm sorry, but I really have no idea who you are or what's going on! I can't go! I've a sponge in the oven!" said Harriet, looking into the face of the nice young man with the bright blue eyes who was now leading her towards the mule.

The young man just smiled and didn't relax his grip on her arm. The tall, stern man with the kind eyes turned and said, addressing his remark over her head to the young man behind her, "you think you could get more o'that stuff, Doc? I'm beginning to take to "Agreeable Hat" and I'm thinking we might wanna make the condition permanent!"

***

Simon was cleaning away his equipment and closing down for the night in the infirmary, leaving a side light on, illuminating the still form of Harriet on the infirmary table. The captain swung through the door.

"How's she doin', Doc? She remember who you are yet?"

Simon turned, fiddling with a hypodermic, measuring a dose. "Not really," he said deliberately. "Not yet, but I gave her a sedative coupled with a restorative which should mean she remembers most things when she wakes up, with the side effect of an incredible thirst, I might add." He paused to consider and then said clinically, "I'm guessing she'll be a bit hazy on the last few days' events, though," he looked up into the captain's eyes, "actually. That could be a good thing really." his voice trailed off.

"How so?" asked the Captain.

"Well," Simon was hesitant, knowing the likely effect of his words. "I know she looks ok, but she's pretty bruised all over. I think they beat her up a fair amount. She's got a couple of cracked ribs. Nothing," he continued swiftly, seeing the look of thunder on Mal's face, "that a couple of days rest won't pretty much solve, although I guess the psychological effects of knowing your own family could do something like that to you might last a while longer. I mean, when I compare it to me and River, I can't begin to imagine how you would justify to yourself." he trailed off once more.

The Captain was silent for a long minute, perhaps, thought Simon, taking in the full import of his words. Then he began to curse under his breath a long streak of Chinese which ended with the words, "*go se*[11]! Now why did I have to go promise Inara I wouldn't kill those bastards?"

"Because you're fundamentally a good man?" quavered Simon, the words more an attempt to comfort himself than in a real belief that the Captain was just that. "She'll sleep for a few hours now. I was just going to make myself coffee. Care to join me in a cup?" Mentally he added 'decaf'. The captain was wound tight as it was, caffeine just couldn't help.

"Thanks," said Mal brusquely, "but I think I'll stay here for a while and keep an eye on things."

"Just as you like," said Simon, heading for the door. He turned in the doorway, "she won't wake for a while though, you know."

"Yup, you said!" Mal fixed him with one of his false smiles that said 'get out before I punch you' and the doctor nodded and left him to it.

***

Harriet woke to an incredible feeling of thirst. Her lips felt dry and her throat parched. She licked her lips in a vain attempt to moisten them, as she tried to sort out just what had been going on and where she was. It no longer smelt like the old cow barn. Perhaps her brothers had moved her? She was having problems opening her eyes. The light seemed to be awfully bright, wherever she was. Just then she felt an arm snake behind her head and a cup was pressed to her lips. She gulped at the water in surprise, but so thirsty that for a minute she thought of nothing else. She caught a hint of that deep musky, oh so familiar, scent that made her feel so safe. Then she prized open her eyes.

"Mal!" It was a croak. Clearly lack of water had affected her voice.

He was standing above her, looking down at her with a smile that reached his eyes. "Hey there," he said gently.

She struggled to sit up and take stock. She was in the infirmary back on Serenity. Now how the hell had she got there? "Hey yourself," she said weekly, clutching at her side as she was reminded of her putative cracked ribs.

"Go easy, Hat, you've got a cracked rib or two or so says the Doc."

"Mal, what the hell's going on? I don't. I can't..." She started again. "How in the 'Verse did I get back here? Last thing I remember clearly is being told by Jake that Serenity had hit atmo. You just left me?" she demanded suddenly in a hurt voice, as the shock of learning that they'd gone returned to her.

The Captain had the grace to blush and smile ruefully. "Yup, we did at that. And don't go thanking me for comin' back to rescue you. Kaylee and Zoë were the big damn heroes this time around. I was all for leaving you to rot, leavin' me! 'Us'," he corrected himself quickly, "without so much as a backward glance, far as I could see! But then, good ol' Kaylee pointed out that weren't much like you an' Zo backed her up and then the Shepherd did the thinking and sussed out what had happened... After that there weren't no stoppin' us. Even I came through for you! Turned Serenity straight around and came to get you, no stallin'."

"Well, thank you anyhow for your belated rescue!" smiled Harriet. "But I still can't figure on the whole I'm back on Serenity part. How come I can't remember the rescuin' me bit?"

"Ah, well," Mal paused, well aware that the revelation would hurt more than the cracked ribs, "your brothers drugged you." Bald assertion of fact, never hide from the truth (well, hardly ever) - a Mal dictum. "Seems they pumped you full of some stuff made you all manner of compliant. Guess they were fixing on having their own slave for a few years and you'd a bin none the wiser. Gotta tell you though, it was a moral dilemma takin' you off that stuff. The Doc would insist upon it, but I was all for keepin' you docile. 'Twas really a sight to behold! Guess it's unlikely you'll ever be that submissive again?" The last part of his narrative was rather wistful. Harriet leaned from the bed to hit him, only to wince as her ribs complained again. "See you're already disobeyin' me. I said go easy!"

Harriet sighed and lay back against the pillow, a sombre look on her face. For all Mal had tried a jokey approach to the story, clearly trying to lessen the betrayal, the thought of what her brothers, not to mention her own father, had been willing to do to her, throbbed painfully in her.

"So much for families!" she sighed. "I wonder now why I thought they were so damn important? Ain't nothing to 'em! I won't make that mistake again. Kin ain't worth a bean!"

"Uh no," said Mal gently, "you got that all cross ways, Hat. Families are real important. You just got to figure out who they are. Yer mistake was fixing on the wrong set o' kin! This here's your family: Zoë and Wash, Kaylee and Inara, River and the Doc, Book, gorammit even Jayne and it's the most important thing there is. Each one of 'em cares for you far and away more'n any one of yer brothers. So just you think on that."

They shared a long look, until Harriet smiled softly and said, "good Lord, Mal, I ain't never heard you say a thing quite so sentimental in all my life before!"

He smiled and shrugged. "You bring it out in me, is all. And trust me, they're all mighty pleased to have you back. Kaylee's been down here three times to check on you since we brought you in and Wash'd be a permanent fixture if I hadn't sent him to fly this damn boat!"

Harriet grinned. "Hmm! Tell me that his concern doesn't have more to do with fact that, by my calculations, the last of my frozen meals should have run out by now?"

Mal beamed back, nodding. "Ate the last one of those fancy noodle things this very lunch time!"

She sighed. "Well, the sooner I get back to my kitchen, the sooner that situation can be resolved. I ain't thinkin' on what you louts have done to it in my absence!" She made to swing her legs down from the infirmary bed.

"The galley is immaculate, actually," said Simon coming in. "The Shepherd cleaned it up specially and there's no getting up for a day or two. Got to give those ribs a chance to heal. Although why I think you're any more likely to listen to me than the good Captain here, I don't know!" he sighed dramatically.

Harriet looked at him pleadingly. "Can I at least go back to my own bunk? I ain't gonna get a wink of sleep here. This bed is awful uncomfy."

Simon rolled his eyes. "Not one stoic patient aboard this ship! Ok, but I don't think you should walk."

"I'll do the carryin'!" said Mal with undue haste, afraid that the doctor would offer himself.

"Why, Captain," said Harriet archly, "you're quite the gentleman!"

But as he lifted her into his arms, she looked Mal in the eye shrewdly. "What do'you do to 'em, Mal? You didn't shoot 'em, I mean, fatally, or nothing did you?"

Mal experienced a moment of gratitude to Inara for extracting from him the "no-killing-family promise". "Nope," he smiled down at the woman in his arms; "jus' threatened them with death a mite."

"Big damn shame!" muttered Harriet as they headed for her bunk.

***

Within minutes Harriet found herself installed in her own bunk beneath a mountain of blankets, stuffed full of yet more of the doctor's incredible painkillers and sleeping pills, being tucked in by an expert hand.

"There you go!" smiled Mal, as he set a glass of water down on her bunk-side table, "snug as! If you need anythin', jus' holler, I'll hear ya." He gestured to the wall, on the other side of which was his own bunk. He was guessing he'd not be getting much sleep tonight anyhow.

He leaned down and kissed her tenderly on the forehead, smoothing away a wisp of blond hair. Then he turned and headed for the ladder.

"Mal"

He turned, "huh?"

"You too, right?"

"Me too wha'?"

"My family...?" said Harriet.

"Oh," he paused and then said, very softly, "me especially. Now go to sleep, ya hear me?"

Sleepily Hat mumbled, "you're like my proper nice big brother!"

Through the haze of sleep that was enveloping her like a blanket, she was pretty sure she heard him mutter, "I ain't lookin' to be no gorram big brother..."

Harriet was frankly hurt. After all he was more than happy to act as big brother to Kaylee. If only she could shrug off the feeling of contentment and rouse herself, she'd have it out with him. But she was just too cosy. While she was still contemplating how to move her limbs, she fell asleep.

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[1] Horrible old tyrant!

[2] cr*p

[3] Hell

[4] b*stard

[5] hell

[6] F*ck me blind!

[7] Jesus!

[8] b*stard

[9] Filthy fornicators of livestock!

[10] hell

[11] dog cr*p