CHAPTER 1: WHAT IS SHE NOW?(these arent ment to be that long, please enjoy)

I could hear the sound of the boots pounding one the hard, metal floors. It was everywhere, in my head all around me, it felt like throbbing pain, hurting me, so bad. But only in my head. Simon, my brother knocked me out of my psychosis. "River time for dinner" he told me. i was sleeping in Jayne's room now. i think he likes me i would tell my self just to make me feel better about being a 19 year girl with a 28 to 29 year old man. i moved out of simon's room because Kaylee would often sneak in to be with my brother. its amazing he went from being petty, clean docter to being a engine oil covered docter. Different Simon same heart. i would often tell my self that Jayne wants me, he loves me, he needs some one to connect to even if that somone is me. I thought my likings towards jayne would help Zoe after wash died. For the way we were different like wash and zoe might help her. i might have had my brain jacked up but i do know love i hope. what is she now i thought towards zoe. she is so lonely. i thought maybe her and mal might be gettin' cozy but then again mal is a "terrible husband". this might help him. i wish i was more magic than crazy to bring wash back. because she is alone in the 'verse.....so am i.