River walked the ship for about the thousandth time, running her hand lightly against its cool, metal skin. With just the slightest of touches, she could feel everything Serenity did. She could feel the pull of a steady burn and the weightlessness of drifting; she could feel the push of the engines as they tried to accommodate each request and the sigh of relief when the crew was again at peace.

Serenity was like a big cocoon to her. It held all of them, the Captain, Simon, Kaylee, in a warm embrace and floated them effortlessly into the black. It was a haven and a home. But River knew it would never be her home.

***

“River?”

Simon pushed open his sister’s door and was puzzled to not find her there, although he was not particularly surprised. River did not like to stay put. Since her time at the Academy, she was often restless and agitated and constantly moving seemed to be the only state in which she could find any peace. Even sleeping didn’t seem to bring her the rest she needed.

Of course, it meant Simon was never at peace either. He had resigned himself to that, years ago, when he had first realized his sister was in trouble. And now, everyday, he spent his waking moments doing whatever he could to make her safe, to make her better, to make her whole. And although he was a genius, nothing he had tried to date had had any noticeable effect.

“River?”

Circling back through the dining room and into the medbay, Simon still had no sign of her. Working his way to the cargo hold, he passed the captain. Mal was even less impressed with Simon’s efforts to help his sister. Giving him a curt nod, Mal was perfectly content to pass the younger man in silence, but Simon was not. “Have you seen River?”

“Lost her again, have you?” Mal asked the question but did not slow to hear an answer. Changing directions, Simon followed the captain up the stairs and into the dining area. “I wish you would put a leash on that girl.”

Simon tried to contain his anger. Mal was famous for getting under his skin and he was trying very hard to not let that be a common occurrence. “She is not an animal, Captain,” he said coolly. “Have you seen her?”

“No, I sure have not,” Mal answered, pausing to take a sip of the morning caf he’d just poured. “But if I do, I’ll be sure to have her give you a holler.”

Rolling his eyes, Simon watched the captain go, muttering an old Chinese curse under his breath. Some days, most days, Simon wondered what he and his sister were still doing aboard Serenity. But when he scanned the cortex for news, the “Wanted” posters plastered all over reminded him that they were still fugitives. And hot ones at that.

“Hey you.”

The voice pulled Simon from his revelry. Turning, he saw Kaylee enter from the engine room. Approaching him, she quickly gave him a peck on the cheek. Their relationship was still new to them both and they had not had the time or the inclination as of late to figure out all the details.

“Hey,” he replied absentmindedly, as he watched her go scrounge for some sort of breakfast. “Have you seen River?”

Turning to face him, her smile never wavered. “Nope. She came to see me in the engine room a few hours ago, but I haven’t seen her since.”

Curious and a little nervous, Simon moved toward her and asked, “She came to see you? Why?”

If Kaylee took offense to the bluntness of the question, it didn’t show. “I don’t know. She wanted to ask me something about Serenity. How she worked or some such. It was a perfectly normal conversation.” Kaylee paused and reexamined her statement. “Well, normal for River anyway.”

“Uh-huh.” Now Simon knew something was up. Normally, when River couldn’t sleep she would ferret herself away somewhere and wait for the ship’s next day cycle to start. She rarely, if ever, interacted with anyone else on the crew. Without another word to Kaylee, Simon turned back toward the cargo bay and called, “River!”

“Yes.”

She was no more than a few inches from him and Simon did his best not to jump. She looked at him with those big, quizzical eyes of hers, as if studying every inch of his expression.

“Oh, how are you?” Simon took her elbow and guided her out of the dining area and toward the medbay. “Did you sleep all right?”

River looked at him and said, “I don’t sleep, you know that. Besides, I’ll sleep when we go home.”

Simon stopped a few paces from the medbay doors. Turning to face her, he asked, “Home? River, what are you talking about? We are home.”

Focusing on him again, River brought her hand to his cheek and admonished him. “No, silly. Our real home. Daddy’s coming.”

***

“How long until we land on Ariel?”

Mal was still sipping his burnt caf from the morning and marveling at the view out Serenity’s cockpit. Wash had just slowed their burn and they were close now. Close to fuel, supplies and maybe a few days of rest.

“About a half a day,” Wash answered, flipping a few switches to set the autopilot and swiveling to face his friend. “So, what’s the plan for Ariel this time? Any more hospitals to knock over, because you know, dead bodies equal fun.”

Mal grimaced at the joke and remembered with ire the last time they had been planet side. Jayne had almost risked all their lives to collect a bounty he had no rights to. Neither man would be making that foolish of a mistake again.

“No, nothing so sinister,” Mal told him, sitting in the co-pilot’s chair and propping his feet up. “Just a little down time. Maybe a simple job …”

“Uh-huh,” Wash studied him for a few moments and then said. “Can I just point out Captain that in the –“

His next statement was cut off as the clanging of boots and voices were heard approaching the bridge. Turning to face the noise, Mal spilled his hot drink on himself and shouted a particularly violent Mandarin curse. Undaunted by his outburst, Simon burst onto the bridge, his sister close behind and seemingly confused.

“What in the gorram ‘verse is so important, you’ve got to cause third degree burns,” Mal spit out.

“Ariel,” Simon told him, panting. “We can’t put down there.”

“Yes we can, and we will. Inara’s got appointments and we’ve got cargo to unload. I’ve already arranged a drop with one of our buyers. And why I am debating this with you,” Mal questioned, more to himself than anyone present. Getting into Simon’s face, he said, “I don’t take orders from you, doc. Got it?”

“Daddy’s coming,” River blurted, looking between both men, completely oblivious to the tension building in the small room. A childlike smile was spread across her face and she giggled with delight. Moving forward she kissed her brother on the cheek and started a sing-song rendition of “Daddy’s coming, we’re going home,” as she twirled her way off the bridge.

“What in blazes is she going on about?” Mal’s expression hardened as Simon looked after his sister.

“I think what she’s saying,” Simon began slowly, finally turning his gaze back to the captain. “Is that if we go to Ariel, we’re going to see my father. Which means we’ll be caught.”

***

“Look Simon, the deal was, we land, you stay on the ship. End of story.” Mal hustled down the stairs toward Serenity’s open bay doors, checking his pistol’s magazine and hoping that Cortez hadn’t bolted. To appease the young doctor, Mal had permitted Serenity to approach Ariel five times, getting different docking berths each time only to forgo one for the other, therefore, making them late for the drop. The young man was spooked something fierce; which Mal understood given his sister’s tendency toward the crazy, but they had business to do, and Mal would be damned if he let the good doctor and his sister disrupt his plans – again.

“I just don’t think that’s the best idea. We’re sitting ducks on the ground.” Simon was close on his heels and had been since they’d broken orbit. “Why don’t we just drop you and Zoe and Jayne and then take off into orbit again. That way, we can at least run if we’re spotted.”

“And leave in my ship,” Mal asked, turning to face Simon. “No gorram way.”

“Captain, I’m just asking –“

“And I’m just telling,” Mal said, edging closer to Simon and lowering his voice. “I feel for you and your sister and I will take it as a personal affront should the two of you be captured and killed. But I have business to do, to keep you both flying and I’ve got a responsibility to this crew. We’re staying put, so get used to it.”

With that, Mal turned on his heel and jumped on the back of the mule. Without another word, Zoe revved the engine and the mule, the goods and the three crewmates zipped down the ramp and out of sight. Kaylee, standing at the door controls, hit the release as soon as they were clear. As the ramp rose, she joined Simon in the middle of the hold.

“Don’t worry, the capt’n will keep us all safe.” She was always so sure Mal would do what was right. Simon wondered what the man had done to instill such faith in her. Or if, like just about everything else with Kaylee, she just chose to look at the most positive side she could find. “He always does.”

“Right,” Simon said, still staring in the direction of the closed doors. “It’s just—“

A banging on the hull interrupted his thought and a squeal from above startled them both. Running down the three flights of stairs to the hold’s floor, River ran to the door and yelled, “Daddy’s here,” as she pulled it open.

Kaylee and Simon barely had time to react, let alone stop her. The door stood open and on the other side were three men, all dressed rather sharply and not brandishing any evident weapons. The man in the center of them was one Simon easily recognized, although it had been over three years since he’d last seen him.

His father had aged, and not well. His hair was the shiny color of durasteel and his face sagged in too many places. Worry lines, Simon was sure. But did he really worry? Simon had often wondered that. Did he or his mother ever think twice about their two delinquent children who had shamed the Tam family for generations to come?

River was much less reserved. Squealing again, a sound completely unusual for her normal demeanor, she threw her arms around their father and hugged him fiercely. At first paralyzed by the shock, their father’s arms went stiff, uncertain of what to do. But finally, as recognition came, he wrapped his arms around her and lifted his little girl into the air, spinning her around.

Kaylee studied the scene in awe and finally turned to Simon. “Is that really your father?”

“It is,” Simon told her and without another word approached the scene.

“Simon, look, it’s daddy.” River pulled the two men together, her face shining with joy and happiness. It broke Simon’s heart to see her so happy, so like she once was. He began to wonder if keeping her from their parents really had been the right decision. “I told you he’d come.”

Simon’s father studied him with a critical gaze that Simon was all too accustomed to. He had been receiving it from the older Tam for over twenty years. Everything Simon had ever done from childhood through adolescence had been met with that same gaze. It sometimes conveyed acceptance or approval, but more often than not it spoke of an unvoiced criticism – as it did now.

“Father,” Simon said resolutely, extending his hand.

His father continued to eye him and Simon was unsure what would come next. Half expecting a slap across the face, it was a total shock when his father grabbed his hand and pulled him and his sister into a fierce bear hug. “Oh Simon, it’s so good to see you. I can’t believe I found you.”

Paralyzed with uncertainty and unable to break free Simon sunk into the embrace, allowing for the first time in a long time to feel some sort of relief. Although it would be short-lived, it was nice to have someone else there who could be the “one in charge;” who could make all the hard decisions, so Simon could take a break.

Refusing to indulge his childhood fantasy any longer, Simon pulled away and took River’s hand. Bringing her behind him, he made sure he was between his sister, their father and the two menacing looking men standing near the hold’s door.

“Dad, it’s good to see you,” Simon barely choked out, hoping his insincerity wouldn’t come across. “But you can’t be here.”

“Simon, that’s nonsense,” his father admonished, taking off his black leather gloves and neatly folding them into his coat’s pocket. Circling around, he tried to reach out to River, and bring her to his side, but Simon kept himself firmly between them - despite River’s overzealous attempts to get out from her brother’s grasp. For some reason Simon couldn’t quite identify, he knew River was safer with him.

“It’s not nonsense. I wish you’d listen to me,” Simon tried not to let his frustration boil over, but years of having been put down by his dad came rushing back. River’s insistent whimpering and clawing was also adding to his foul mood. “Why do you –“

Simon broke off suddenly as he turned to face River. Grabbing her by the shoulders, he said quietly, “River, stop. I need to talk to dad right now. Why don’t you go with Kaylee? I’ll be by to see you in just a few minutes.”

Putting on her best pout, River said sullenly, “I want to stay here. I want to stay with Daddy.”

“I know, mei mei, but I really need you to go with Kaylee.” Simon’s expression grew more desperate. Ever since they had broken orbit River had become increasingly convinced she would see her father. And with that conviction, it had become harder and harder for even Simon to get through to her.

Having heard her name, Kaylee stepped forward and took River by the elbow. “Come on, sweetie. Have you had breakfast yet? Let’s go get something to eat.”

Still whimpering, but not putting up a fight, River let Kaylee lead her from the hold, her large, round brown eyes never leaving Simon’s. He knew that look; it was the look she always gave him before he stuck her with a needle or performed a test. It was the look that said, ‘I’m trusting you not to hurt me.’ It was the look that broke his heart.

Watching her go, he only turned back to face his father when he knew River was out of sight and out of earshot. Again looking at the older man, Simon was puzzled by his expression. It seemed to be full of regret, maybe even remorse, but not the anger Simon had been expecting.

“What are you doing here, dad?” Simon circled around his father with his arms crossed over his chest and sat on the edge of a nearby crate. “How did you find us?”

“I still have a few tricks up my sleeve, son,” his father confided, joining him on the edge of the crate. “Did you really think I wouldn’t find the two of you?”

“I didn’t even know if you’d be looking,” Simon answered quietly. As soon as the words were out he knew he should have swallowed them. Casting his eyes to his father’s profile, he saw the edges of a pained expression. “I’m sorry, dad, but you have to admit, we did not part well.”

“Yes, Simon, I do admit that.” He paused, waiting for something. Simon wasn’t sure what: an answer, a clue; or maybe just courage to continue. “But Simon, you are my son and River is my daughter, you couldn’t possibly believe that your mother and I would just give up on you.”

The older man clapped a firm hand on his shoulder and pulled him close. “We love you both and we’ve missed you very much.”

Fighting back tears, Simon stood and rubbed his face hard to keep them away. “We’ve missed you too,” Simon told him.

“Good, because your mother cannot wait to see you both.” His father rose and motioned to the two men standing at the door. They both came forward, awaiting further instruction. “Now, where are your things?”

Simon stared from his father to the men incredulous. Getting his wits about him, he managed to blurt out, “What are you talking about?”

“Your things,” his father repeated, focusing on his son. “Yours and your sister’s. We need to get them packed up so we can take you home.”

“I told you,” River’s squeal came from the dining room where she appeared, dancing her way back toward Simon and their dad. Kaylee was a few steps behind her. Giving Simon a look, Kaylee shrugged and said, “I tried, but I couldn’t keep her away much longer.”

“Yes, thank you for looking after her, child,” Simon’s father stepped forward and extended his hand to Kaylee. “I am Gabriel Tam. And you are?”

“Kaywinnet Lee Frye, sir. It’s nice to meet you,” Kaylee shook his hand fervently and despite the whirlwind of activity, Simon smiled at her earnestness.

Stepping beside her, Simon took Kaylee’s hand in his and said, “Yes, Dad, this is Kaylee, the ship’s mechanic and … " He paused not sure exactly what to say, not even sure he should. But for the first time in a long while, he threw caution into the black. “She’s my girlfriend.”

“Well, then Kaylee, it is nice to meet you. Simon’s mother will be sorry she missed the opportunity to meet you. In the meantime,” Simon’s dad turned back to the hold, where River was flitting in and about, dropping random objects into the middle of the floor. Simon’s extra shirt, a few apples she had spirited away, a carved duck they had picked up on some unknown planet … it was time for Simon to put an end to this.

“Are you really leavin’,” Kaylee whispered, pulling him close to her. Simon looked from her hurt eyes to the fire in his sister’s and was torn. He couldn’t go, this was crazy. Regardless of what River thought or felt, it wasn’t safe for them. Even if their father had the best of intentions, there was still a price on both their heads. And he would not run the risk of letting River be taken again.

“No,” he told her firmly, kissing her on the cheek and giving her hand a squeeze. “We’re staying.”

Simon stepped into his sister’s path and caught her with both his hands. “River. River, stop.”

“Simon, we have to go. Get your things,” River’s face was full of an innocence Simon was not accustomed to seeing. And it was full of happiness, something else Simon had thought was long out of his sister’s reach. “Daddy’s here,” she told him, whispering it to him as though she were sharing the biggest secret in the ‘verse.

“I know,” Simon told her, keeping a firm grip on her arm, but softening his expression. Smiling he said, “River, do you remember when I came and got you from the Academy?” She quickly averted her gaze, which gave him his answer. “Do you remember what I told you then?”

Still studying the hold’s dirty, grated floor, she said, “That you would keep me safe and no one would ever hurt me again.”

“That’s right,” Simon told her, reaching up to lift her chin so she was again meeting his gaze. “And do you remember that I said you could trust me?”

“I do trust you, Simon,” River told him, unwanted tears welling in the bottom of her eyes. “But it’s okay now. You don’t have to be brave anymore. Daddy’s here and he can take care of us.”

“No, River,” he told his sister, trying to keep his own tears at bay. “I still have to be brave and so do you. We have to stay on Serenity. It’s the only place where I know we’ll be safe.”

“Simon, this is ridiculous.” Their father stepped forward, attempting to come between them, but Simon kept a firm grip on River’s arm and she did not pull away. “Sweetheart, you’ll be safe at home, with me and your mother,” his father said gently, addressing River directly. “Don’t you want to come home with me?”

“Dad, you can’t do this,” Simon raised his voice and met his father’s steely gaze. “River can’t go home. It’s not safe for either one of us. We’re still wanted by the Alliance.”

“Simon, what do you think? That there are bounty hunters out there right now, scouring the galaxy for you, a surgeon and his teenage sister? Simon, please -“

“Like Early.” River interrupted, focusing again on her brother. “I didn’t like him.”

"Who is Early,” Gabriel Tam asked, looking from his young daughter to his son. “What is she talking about?”

“Jubal Early was the bounty hunter who scoured the galaxy to find us, dad. And he almost succeeded.” Simon turned back to River and tried to think of a way not to break her heart. “River, if we go home, chances are another man like Early will come and I won’t be able to protect you there. That’s why we have to stay on the ship.”

She held his gaze a moment longer as silent tears fell down her face. Simon knew she was reading him and he hoped she could feel his earnestness. The only thing in his life that had ever meant anything was her; he couldn’t run the risk of losing her again. As if getting the answer she needed, River dropped her gaze and backed away from him. Without looking up, she said quietly, “We’re staying here, daddy.”

Gabriel looked from his daughter to his son and back again. Both of them were trying to hold in tears, and he was trying to hold in his rage. He had been searching for them for almost two years, and now, when he’d found them, he realized they were farther from his reach than ever. Stepping towards his son, he lowered his voice and said, “Simon, I really—“

Looking into his eyes with a strength Gabriel would not have guessed him capable of, Simon said, “I’m sorry, dad. But we’re staying here. It’s time for you to go.”

Taken aback, Gabriel stepped back and paced a small path away from them. Turning on his heel, he said, “I’m not giving up that easily. I’ll go now, but I’m coming back first thing in the morning. We can talk more then.”

“You can come back if you like,” Simon told him, collecting himself and firmly planting his feet on the hold’s floor. “But I can’t promise we’ll be here.”

“Simon …”

“It’s not a threat, dad,” Simon explained. “If the captain says go, we go, no questions asked. That’s the way life is, in the black.”

Nodding once, Gabriel assumed that was the best he would get, today anyway. “Fine, then if you’re still here tomorrow, I’ll see you then.”

Turning to leave, his son’s voice pulled him back. “You can’t tell anyone that you saw us.” Looking again at Simon’s face, the resolve and maturity that stared back at him was shocking. “Not anyone. Not even mom.”

Gabriel thought about fighting him on it, and realized he wouldn’t win. “Fine. I’ll keep your secret. I love you, both.”

As quickly as they’d come, they were gone. Once the hold’s door had clanged shut, Simon’s entire body slumped forward. All the strength and energy he had been expending just to keep it together had taken a toll. It was exhausting. Sinking to his knees, he dropped his head into his hands, hoping to keep the tears away. Turning slightly, he saw his sister, standing completely still and staring at nothing in particular.

“River, I,” Simon reached for her and at the motion, her head snapped up and she fixed him with a hot glare.

“You made him go away,” River whispered vehemently. “You destroyed our family.”

With that she turned quickly and sprinted from the hold. Simon knew he should go after her, try to explain, but he couldn’t. He didn’t have the energy or the desire to enter another ten round fight with his sister. Gorram it, why had their father had to come after them? Why hadn’t he just left them alone?

Unable to hold it in any longer, Simon’s shoulders began to shake slightly as he cried. Kaylee, having witnessed everything, went to him then, and kneeling beside him, placed her arms around his shoulders. She tried to pull him to her, but abruptly, he pulled away.

Getting up quickly and refusing to meet her gaze, he said, “I’m sorry, Kaylee, I just can’t – I can’t-“

And with that he too ran from the hold, leaving Kaylee alone and truly at a loss for what she could possibly do to help.

***

“You were right,” Gabriel Tam said quietly into the receiver in his hand. “He doesn’t trust me. I think I could have convinced River, but Simon is stronger than I imagined.”

“That’s all right, Gabe,” a soothing, deep voice said on the other end of the comm. “You did as well as can be expected.”

“What now,” the bereft father asked.

“We’ll get them both back home,” the voice answered. “Don’t you worry.”