When Mal, Zoe and Jayne arrived back on board the silence on the ship was deafening. Completely unsettled by the lack of activity, Mal left his second and the merc to stow the mule and wandered up the stairs and into the common area. Seeing it empty, he turned and headed for the engine room. “Kaylee?”

Entering the warm room, he didn’t see her at first, but a small whimper gave her away. Mal turned with a start to see his mechanic huddled in her hammock, shaking with quiet sobs.

Leaping to a whole bunch of conclusions, none of them good, Mal stepped forward and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. Jumping at the touch, Kaylee snapped her head up and looked at her captain through tear-filled eyes. “Oh, hey cap’n,” she managed to blubber, wiping her face, but to no avail. The girl had been crying for a while. “How’d the job go?”

“I’m not so worried about the job, lil’ Kaylee, as I am about you,” Mal told her. Pulling up a stool, he sat at her side and took a hold of her hand. “What happened? Are you hurt?”

She shook her head slowly and looked as if she might start sobbing again. Mal steeled himself for the inevitable wailing. He didn’t like it when women cried, but seeing those big tears run down Kaylee’s cheeks froze his blood. A girl like her, with a smile as big as the ‘verse and a heart to match, should never have to cry.

“Tell me what’s going on, Kaylee,” Mal warned her quietly. “Or I’ll find that {worthless piece of crap} doctor and make him tell me.”

Judging by Kaylee’s reaction to the mention of Simon, Mal guessed he’d been right. This was about that dandy of a boy. Gorramit if Mal didn’t like shipboard relations.

“It’s not Simon’s fault, cap’n,” Kaylee told him, sitting forward a bit and squeezing his hand. “He didn’t do nothin’. How could he know his dad would be on Ariel? He didn’t think he’d actually ever find ‘em.”

“What a minute,” Mal said quickly, rising. “Simon’s dad was here? On the ship?”

Kaylee nodded, biting her lip to keep in her sobs, her eyes wide at the look of anger on the captain’s face. “{Of all the worthless pieces of space trash I’ve ever seen eaten,}” Mal swore fiercely, pacing the room. “When was this?”

Kaylee shrugged and thought about it for a moment. “I don’t know about an hour ago. Right after you and Zoe and Jayne left.”

“And where is Simon?”

Kaylee cast her eyes down to the floor as fresh tears came. “I don’t know. He was a mite upset after he saw his pa and ran out of the hold. He wouldn’t even let me try and help him,” Kaylee told Mal, raising her eyes again to look at him. Mal couldn’t decide which was worse; the pain in Kaylee’s face or the knowledge that Simon had actually denied her. Mal didn’t know what was wrong with that boy, but pushing away someone as loving as Kaylee was about the most idiotic thing he could think of.

“It’s all right, lil’ Kaylee,” Mal comforted her, moving forward and kissing her on top of the head. “You just get a hold of yourself and I’ll go talk to Simon.”

Mal turned to leave, thinking, If I don’t kill him first.

***

Simon had retreated to his room once his father had left and was glad that everyone had left him in peace. He didn’t want to be disturbed and he didn’t want to think about the encounter. It would only bring fresh tears to his eyes; tears of weakness and anger; tears that shamed him.

The fact was he would give about anything to be able to go home again. He missed his job at the hospital and the friends he’d managed to make. He missed his large warm bed and actual food. However, nothing he missed from his old life came close to the feelings he had for his sister.

He had given up everything for River, literally. Once he had realized she was in trouble his days and nights were consumed finding a way to release her from that hell. The deeper he had gotten into Osiris’ underside, the murkier things had become. Simon had always believed he maintained a pretty rigorous moral compass. Right and wrong were not difficult concepts for the top three percent; things were black and white. But as his search for River had intensified so had the amount of gray matter in everything he saw and touched.

It was a blow, both emotionally and physically the day he’d realized how much trouble she was in. He’d ventured into a blackout zone on Osiris, and the men he’d met there had confronted him with surveillance images of her, hooked up to various machines, bleeding and screaming as a room full of men looked on. His heart broke at the sound of every scream. They had, after all, shared almost everything for their entire lives.

Growing up together, they had never spent more than a few hours apart. Although he was older and she had at times annoyed him, she had always been his best friend. River was the one who had played games with him when the neighborhood children called him names. She was the one who had helped him study to pass his medical examinations. She was the one who had made him laugh after the first girl he’d ever liked broke his heart. She was the one who had loved him unconditionally.

It was an odd relationship to some, most of all their parents. Simon and River coexisted in a state close to symbiotic and that had thrown Regan and Gabriel Tam for a loop. From the time their daughter was born, Simon had been the only one to calm her when she was colicky. Simon had been the only one to get her to take her medicine. Simon had been the only one who could ever really keep her wild imagination from running away with her. And so why it had surprised them that Simon would be the one to find out what was really happening at that school he would never understand.

They had resisted his ministrations with everything they had. His mother and father both told him to shut up and keep quiet. He was acting paranoid, delusional and his talk of secret government facilities where tests were performed on children would only hurt his promising future.

His parents had never understood. Without River, safe and happy, his future didn’t make a bit of difference. He had to protect her because they wouldn’t. He had to keep her safe because she had never done anything except love and laugh and dance. He would be the one to heal her because she was his sister, his mei mei and that was his job.

Now, hours after their father had finally managed to track them down, Simon felt almost as desperate as that first night back in the blackout zone on Osiris. He had thought his heart would never be whole again, but slowly over the past year as she had made some progress he had started to heal. He’d even tried to let someone else care for him for a bit. But even Kaylee could not heal the hole in his chest or dull the ache.

“It’s okay, the pain goes away.”

River’s voice startled him although it shouldn’t have. As a reader, and a powerful one, she often interrupted his internal musings to add her own two cents. It was why he didn’t chide her anymore when she called him a boob or try to placate her when she knew he was about to give her medicine that might make her sick. She knew if he was lying and she called him on it. Secretly, he was glad.

He looked up to her and saw her standing in the doorway to his room, the yellow light from the screens dotting the hall framing her in a halo. He smiled at her through wet eyes, and saw that she had been crying as well, although she was much calmer than she’d been a few hours ago. Entering the room on feet that glided over the metal floor, she leaned down and placed a gentle hand over his heart. “It will heal. Just give it time.”

Simon smiled at her weakly and placed his hand over hears. She smiled at him then, a smile that reached her eyes, a smile he was not used to seeing and it brought fresh tears to his face. “Mei mei, I’m sorry. I just –“

Placing a finger on his lips, she told him. “It’s okay. I couldn’t see it before. I thought Daddy came back to love us. But that’s not what he wants.” Her face hardened and she stood straight, her eyes focusing far away. “He wants to own us.”

Simon didn’t know what to make of that statement. He had become accustomed to River’s riddles and had even thought he was close to understanding this new language she spoke in. But the past few hours had left him drained and so his ability to translate was severely lacking. “River, what do you mean?”

His voice pulled her eyes back to him, and she fixed him with a hard stare. “I’m not a gorram cow. You can’t pay for me and keep me on a leash.” Her eyes overflowed with angry tears and Simon rose, reaching out a hand to her. She backed away and sank to the floor, her tears quickly turning into sobs. “I don’t want to go back,” she cried quietly. Turning her tear-streaked face up at him, she pleaded, “Don’t make me go back.”

Simon knelt down next to her and wrapped his arms around her. “You’re not going anywhere, mei mei,” he whispered into her hair, rocking her gently back and forth. “I promise. You’re safe here with me.”

He held her tightly for a few moments, stroking her hair and rocking her like the child she was. He tried to keep his own tears away, but the despair in her voice had brought him close to the edge again. When would this day be over?

Pulling back slightly, she gave him a light kiss on the cheek and whispered. “I should go. Daddy’s back,”

She rose to leave, and Simon grabbed her hand. “River, no. You can’t –“

She laughed at him then, a sweet girlish laugh that made him feel ten years old. “No silly, our real daddy.” She straightened and seemed to shake off her sadness of only moments before.

Sweeping out of the room, she passed Mal as he entered the doctor’s quarters. Wiping his face and realizing he looked a mess, Simon rose and went to the sink. Splashing cold water on his face, Simon felt a little better and turned back to face the captain. “I suppose you’ve heard we had a visitor,” he stated.

“I did at that,” Mal confirmed, hooking his thumbs around his belt and leaning against the door jamb. “I’d ask how it went, but judging by the look on your face and the sobbing mess that is my mechanic, I reckon I already now.”

Simon’s features clouded at the mention of Kaylee and Mal was secretly glad. Good, the boy should feel guilty for what he’d put her through. “Are we gonna have a problem?” At his puzzled expression, Mal elaborated. “With your pop. Are we gonna have a problem?”

Simon leaned back himself and seemed to consider the question. Finally, he said, “I don’t know. My father is many things, but a bully is not one of them. I made it clear to him that we can’t leave the ship. I don’t think he’d try to forcibly remove River or myself.” Simon paused and replayed the confrontation in his head, looking for some clue as to his father’s motivation. There had been something off, a desperation Simon had never seen before. Looking up, he added, “Of course, getting us off planet would be the safest option at this point.”

“Be that as it may, we’ve got another job and we need it,” Mal told him sternly. “I’m sorry you had to go through that, with your dad, but I have to admit, you came through it a mite better than I had expected.” Simon smiled vaguely at the compliment. “Tomorrow, when Zoe and I go to meet our contact, I’ll leave Jayne on the ship. He’s a pretty big deterrent against any funny business.”

Mal turned to go and then thought of something else. “And doctor, if you ever hurt Kaylee’s feelings like that again, I will take it as a personal insult and be forced to deal with you accordingly.”

Not waiting for the younger man to answer, Mal left the room. Simon stood staring at the empty doorway for a long while, wondering how in the world, with his track record, he’d ever be able to avoid seeing that threat become a reality.

***

“You managed to keep them on planet?” Gabriel Tam’s voice did not hide his shock well.

“Of course, Gabe. What do you think, this is an amateur operation?” The low voice came from shadows and Gabriel was still a little unsettled by the fact that he had never seen his accomplice’s face. “We’ve got them planet side for at least another day, maybe two. So, you going to go see your baby boy?”

Gabriel considered for a moment. His last meeting with Simon had not gone well, but he’d almost managed to convince River that returning home was the right thing to do. Maybe if he went back one more time he’d be able to get through to the girl. She had been traumatized, there was no doubt; if he could figure a way to use that against her, she’d be back on Osiris before he could blink.

“First thing in the morning,” Gabriel answered, downing the rest of his drink and exiting the bar through the back entrance.

Watching him go, the agent leaned forward, his craggy features catching the light cast by the booth’s lantern. Looking to his men sitting across and beside him, Sterns said, “Gotta love the relationship between a father and son.” Raising his glass as if to toast, he tossed back the rest of the harsh liquid, and squinted against the burn that ran down his throat. “Love, pride and stubbornness all rolled into one.”

***

“Kaylee, sweetie?”

Inara peeked into the engine room, not seeing the mechanic there and growing a bit concerned. She had already checked Kaylee’s bunk, the cockpit and the common room to no avail. Turning around, she headed for the cargo bay.

She had arrived back on Serenity about an hour ago, and after a run-in with the captain and a quick recap on the day’s events, she had been determined to find the girl. Simon was a wonderful and brilliant doctor, but a total ass when it came to woman. And while Inara did not doubt he had strong feelings for Kaylee, his ability to show them was sorely inadequate. But, Inara had to admit, a little endearing as well.

Descending the stairs near the crew quarters, she looked down the hall just in case and seeing no sign of Kaylee, headed into the cargo bay. There she was; sitting on a high stack of crates in the far corner, toying with some piece of broken equipment. Judging by the far away look in her eye, Inara guessed the piece of machinery would be hard-pressed to ever work again.

“Kaylee, mei mei?” Inara called to her and the girl started. Dropping the part, it clanged to the floor loudly, and both women closed their eyes against the noise.

Opening her eyes slowly, Inara saw Kaylee’s sheepish expression staring back at her. “Sorry,” the younger woman grumbled, starting her descent down the stacked boxes.

“I guess I’m a little distracted is all,” she elaborated once she’d firmly planted her feet on the ground and was standing near Inara.

Inara reached out a hand to wipe away a particularly dark smudge of engine grease, and Kaylee smiled slightly at the touch. Her grin quickly wavered though and before she knew it she had thrown herself into Inara’s arms, crying.

Stroking her hair, Inara murmured, “Shh, mei, mei, it’s all right.”

“No, it’s not,” Kaylee told her, pulling away and regaining her composure. “Simon and River are gonna leave.” She paused and took a deep breath and when she spoke again her voice had lost some of its shakiness. “They can’t leave, ‘Nara. They’re part of our family.”

Inara smiled at the girl’s earnestness and the depth of emotion she displayed at the drop of a hat. It was quite a contrast for the companion who had spent much of her adolescence and all of her adult life learning how to hide her true emotions so she could more easily identify and satisfy the needs of others. She suspected it was one of the reasons why she and Kaylee had become such fast friends. It was nice to know someone who wasn’t ashamed to think or feel … well, anything. Whether it was happy, sad or somewhere in between, Kaylee made no apologies for her emotions and Inara found that kind of honesty freeing.

“Who says they’re going to leave,” Inara asked, guiding Kaylee to sit on the steps. “Did Simon tell you that?”

“No,” Kaylee grumbled, studying her hands in her lap as Inara continued to stroke her hair comfortingly. “But, ‘Nara, he wouldn’t even look at me after his pa left. I mean, I know he was upset, I can understand that, but …” Kaylee paused again and looked to her friend with true pain in her eyes. “I don’t know how to help him and I don’t even know if he wants me to.”

“He wants you to,” Inara reassured her. “Trust me. But it’s hard for men to admit that. Especially someone like Simon who’s spent the better part of three years, well really his life, taking care of others. He doesn’t know what it will mean, for him as a person or those around him, if he admits he needs help.”

“But it ain’t a bad thing,” Kaylee told her, shocked someone could even consider it. “It just means you’re human, is all.”

“I know that, mei mei,” Inara said through a smile. “But –“

“So do I.”

The voice startled them both and Inara and Kaylee turned at the sound. Glancing behind them, they saw Simon looking down at them, a strange mixture of fear and hope on his face. Smiling at him, Inara looked from the young doctor to Kaylee, whose eyes never wavered. Her smile deepening, Inara decided it was time for her to go. Rising she gave Kaylee’s hand a quick squeeze and headed up the stairs.

Pausing as she reached Simon, and laid a gentle hand on his arm. “Just say what you feel,” she advised him, getting a small smile in return. Knowing it would be okay, Inara turned and retreated to her shuttle.

It took Simon a few minutes to work up the courage to walk down the stairs and take a seat next to Kaylee. Recognizing his indecision – she had seen it many times before – Kaylee turned back to stare at the hold’s floor and waited. She wanted him to come and sit with her, but she wouldn’t get her hopes up; not again.

She felt him sit down, his thigh touching hers due to the tight quarters. Still not looking at him, she swallowed all the things she wanted to say and waited. It was his turn to explain himself.

Clearing his throat, Simon rubbed his hands together and wondered if he’d ever get comfortable talking to girls. Guessing no, he forged ahead. “I’m sorry, about before.”

Kaylee nodded, but remained quiet. He’d have to do better than that. Knowing he wasn’t out of the woods, Simon continued. “I should have been more …” He trailed off not at all certain how to continue. Reaching out, he placed his hands over hers and she stiffened slightly at the touch. Then, she reached over and pulled his other hand into her grasp so their fingers were a knot between them. But she still didn’t meet his gaze.

Staring at their intertwined hands, Simon said quietly, “It threw me; having my dad here. Last time we talked …. It was bad,” Simon told her, remembering the confrontation in the police station with a shudder. “He had to bail me out of jail and he gave me an ultimatum. I haven’t been home since.”

That statement broke Kaylee’s heart for him all over again. She had chosen when to leave her folks and head out into the ‘verse with Mal. But for Simon to have that choice made for him and when he was only trying to help his sister – how awful.

“I had known it was coming,” Simon told her, pulling his hands away and not meeting her concerned expression. He knew if he saw the pity in her eyes, it would only bring his own sadness to the surface. “He and my mother had told me as much. I just thought if I got proof that River was in trouble, they would have to see things my way. They would have to help, but … They didn’t or they couldn’t, I forget now. It seems like so long ago,” he finished quietly.

Rising he paced a small path in front of Kaylee, hoping that the movement would keep him thinking forward and not reliving what was past. “Once I got River and got on board the ship, I knew there was no turning back, not ever. I knew we’d never go home again and I knew we’d never see them again. And I didn’t care. Nothing was more important to me than River. She’s still all that matters.” He looked down at the grated deck and studied the simple pattern for a few moments.

“Well, that’s not true,” he said suddenly. Walking to Kaylee, he knelt in front of her and said, “That’s not true. I still love my sister and I would die to protect her, but …” he faltered again and he had to steel himself to continue. Reaching up, he lifted her chin and brought her eyes up to look at him. They were shining, more than usual, which meant she was holding tears at bay, and her expression brought a slight smile to his face. “You’re important,” he whispered. “You’re important to me and I’m sorry if my behavior earlier didn’t convey that. I just didn’t—"

With a suddenness he hadn’t expected, Kaylee lunged forward and planted a firm kiss on his lips. Surprised at first, Simon quickly gathered his senses and pulled her closer, leaning into the embrace and returning the kiss with everything he had. Pulling apart, Kaylee wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder. “It’s okay, Simon,” she whispered, her breath tickling his neck. “I should have seen how spooked you were by the whole thing. I should have understood.” She paused again and drew back to look at him, their lips barely an inch apart. “You’re important to me, too. That’s why I got so upset. I don’t like the idea of you not bein' here.”

“Me neither, Kaylee,” he whispered, pulling her back into a tight embrace. “Me neither.”

***

River watched her brother and the mechanic from her usual perch on the cargo bay’s highest catwalk. She was lying flat against the grating, her stomach against the floor. She could see them through one of the square holes in the decking and she watched them with a detached interest.

It was fine for them to get used to one another. Simon would need someone to look after him once she was gone.

***

When Gabriel Tam approached the firefly class ship the next morning, he had expected a stern welcome. Possibly some strong-arming from one of the ship’s many mercenaries, or perhaps just a particularly cold shoulder from his children. What he hadn’t expected was to round the corner to the ship’s ramp and see his son standing calmly in front, waiting.

Despite his surprise, he did not break stride and he walked up to Simon feeling a mixture of trepidation and hope. Maybe his son had finally realized his foolishness and was ready to resume his life in proper society. A father could only hope.

Standing a few steps from him, Gabriel clasped his hands behind his back mirroring Simon’s pose. And he waited.

Simon acknowledged him with a slight nod and then took a deep breath. Meeting his father’s hard gaze, he said, “Good morning, dad.”

“Simon.”

The air between them could have repelled a reaver attack it was so thick with tension. Clearing his throat, Simon forged ahead. “I wanted to meet you out here because River doesn’t want to see you.”

“Simon, that’s ridiculous. You cannot keep your sister from me.” Gabriel dismissed him, moving to step around him, but Simon blocked his path. Gabriel stepped to the other side and Simon again stood in his way. Annoyed, Gabriel said, “I mean it, Simon. I want to see your sister. It’s time the two of you came home.”

Shaking his head, Gabriel thought he saw a look of bemusement on his son’s face. “No, dad, it’s not. It’s time you left Ariel and forgot you ever saw us.” “Simon, that’s not possible and you know it,” his father said quietly, hoping the empathetic approach might work. Reaching out a hand, he laid it on Simon’s shoulder. “Your mother and I have missed you both terribly and it’s time for you to return to your life.”

Shrugging off the touch, Simon backed away, never losing his father’s gaze. “Dad, I’m sorry that you don’t believe me and I’m sorry you feel I’m doing something wrong. But if you could have seen what they did to River –“ Simon broke off unable to continue and keep his composure. All of it was still too fresh in his mind. After all, he had to live the after affects of his sister’s torture everyday. “I need you to trust me, dad. Just this once. I know it’s a lot to ask, but I need you to remember how much I love River and trust that I did and am doing the right thing.”

His eyes searched his father’s face for some sign of acceptance, a glimmer of understanding. His father was still as hard to read as ever. “Dad, please, just let us get off planet and keep our secret.”

The pleading look in Simon’s eyes communicated his despair to his father in waves. Gabriel had never seen his son so anxious, so desperate. Simon had always been more analytical, relying on logic and science to explain the universe rather than feelings and emotions. River had balanced that part of him from the time she was born, giving him a buoy to cling to when he needed a little levity, a little perspective. Now, it seemed to Gabriel that the roles might have shifted.

“There’s no way I can change your mind,” his father finally asked, dropping his eyes to the grease-stained concrete.

Shaking his head once, Simon said, “No sir, there’s not.”

Nodding his resignation, Gabriel felt his own despair well up in his chest. He hadn’t wanted it to come to this. He had made the deal, but he’d secretly thought he could convince his children to come back willingly. He’d never thought he’d have to use Sterns or his goons. “Well, Simon, I’m sorry it had to be this way.”

Without another word, the older Tam turned and walked away from his son, his daughter and the ship they called home. Unable to form words, he simply removed the receiver from his pocket, keyed in the code and then dropped the device in the nearest recycler. It was done.