Piloted A Firefly Series

Episode 1 Auto-Pilot By Stuart Broughton

The crew of Serenity had already gone through four pilots since the loss of Wash, a noble and great man. No one could replace him not even Zoe’s brother could fit the job, he was the first guy Malcolm Reynolds tried. Mal didn’t even know Zoe had a brother until the day he showed up to apologise for the tragic death of his sister’s husband. Mal recognising that Terry (Zoe’s brother) had a licence as a pilot and unemployed, so he snapped him up the job thinking Zoe would want someone close to her to fill wash’s boots. But it didn’t work out well. Jayne hating having one Zoe aboard detested the fact that there was going to have another one. And if Jayne didn’t like you then you were in trouble as Simon and River already knew they took it well but terry on the other hand went the opposite way. Resigned the next day to the joy of Jayne and to the upset of Zoe.

A month later and one of the most experienced pilots the crew had ever seen named Mr Owens turned up wanting a job. Mal Accepted without a doubt in his mind though Simon the only one of them with common sense noted that why would someone with those sort of qualifications would for them. Though Mal shrugged it off as Owens pulled some great getaway flying. But Simon was right when one night they found him trying to sneak river off board to get the reward from the alliance. That’s when he discovered her super natural skills ending in his neck, legs and back broken in several places. She did this keeping him conscious before eventually slitting his throat which the crew where helpless to stop.

With Simon’s trust in Mal at it’s all time lowest they picked up a new female pilot named Samantha who had looks that could tempt men to the limits. And of course Jayne spent as much time as he could around her much to Mal’s dislike. On one of the jobs he made the unfortunate discovery of the pilot sleeping with Jayne on the day of one of their biggest jobs yet. Which jeopardised the whole team because it took her 20 minutes to get her clothes on and during that time the whole town had grown into a screaming mob. Then obviously Mal fired her the next day.

And they didn’t know but the team was going to lose a 4th in a matter of minutes during a trade with Fat Billy, who really was Fat. The current pilot Buck who was also a businessman but was willing to fly though. Billy was sitting on the back of a fit horse with 5 henchmen 12 metres from the bottom of the ramp of serenity where Mal, Zoe and Jayne where standing fully loaded with weapons.

“This deal is going down soon, Not tomorrow, Not Tonight Maybe after lunch but soon,” Shouted Mal to the Plump Man on the horse.

“Okay where is the goods,” Mal could only just hear the man from behind a thick welsh accent. Mal pointed to the hanger of the firefly where two giant Boxes were sitting alone. “Alright we’ll take them.”

“Great we are Charging 5,000…” Mall was interrupted

“I said we’ll take them,” repeated Billy Louder.

“This means we have to shoot people don’t it,” Jayne called to Mal. Mall Nodded back. “Great, who wants to get their heads blown off first,” he questioned the others with an excited grin on his face.

Buck appeared in the hanger and called to the others “guy’s shall I bring the goods out.”

Mal, Zoe and Jayne all cried to Buck but it was too late the guns from outside the boat fired and blew Buck away. The three of them turned and pulled the triggers of their own weapons. Mal clutching his pistol, Zoe holding her Shotgun and Jayne lifting with ease his two semi-automatics with built in grenade launchers. “1…2…3” cried Jayne counting the men hitting the ground from his grenades. “4 and the award for killing the most guys goes to Jayne again,” continued Jayne looking for an applause but finding none. Billy turned on his horse and began to gallop away realising he was out numbered though was blasted in the back by Zoe’s Shotgun killing him in an instance.

The team turned and ran over to buck who was already long gone but trying to revive him anyway. None of the crew actually knew what they carrying though their supplier assured them it was nothing dangerous. Mal chugged over to the cases, undid the buckles on the side and swung it open with ease. “Fat Gorram bastard,” said Mal with a look of disbelief on his face. There was burger after burger stacked upon each other with the McDonalds emblem clearly marked on the packet.

“What about Buck,” wondered Zoe aloud.

“Let’s eat him,” said Jayne.

“That’s cannibalism,” stated Zoe.

“Jayne,” asked Mal. “We have just opened a big create of Big Mac’s now your asking… no demanding that you can eat one of your dead crewmates? What’s the matter with you.”

Jayne opened his mouth and replied “even eating a guy is better tasting than McDonald’s.

* * * * *

Serenity touched down on the dust planet where they first picked up the Tam’s and Shepherd (god rest his soul). The boat opened its hanger doors that crashed onto the soft sand pushing it away particles as it did so. Kaylee took base at the bottom of the ramp where she laid down on a sun bed with a sign reading “pilot wanted.” Many men and women came along claiming to be pilot’s over the next couple of hours but all failed the simple test of starting up the Firefly. Until…

“Excuse me missy,” sounded a voice from the opposite side of Kaylee’s eyelids. “Hello, anyone in there, LADY.”

Kaylee opened her eyes and said in a zombie like voice “I wasn’t sleeping captain, I was remembering how many… who are you.”

Standing in front of her was a tall blonde lanky man with a beard like Santa Claus covering his strong looking chin. “I’m Jack and I would like to try for the pilot of this fine craft.” Kaylee took in the comment of her baby with joy because that was the first time someone had said that without being forced. “Well step right in sir,” said Kaylee behind her grin. “I’m Kaylee the engineer and this beauty is serenity,” tapping the side of the firefly with the palm of her hand.

Not even ten minutes had passed and Jack could already do a loop the loop with the boat naming every button on the control panel while doing so. Though no one wanted to admit it the crew all thought that he could end up being a better pilot than Wash, though they always would like Wash more.

“Welcome aboard Jack,” said Mal clutching his hand and shaking it in a manly fashion. “Our old pilot was fantastic so if you want to be known as good you better perform top of the range.” Jack nodded his head backwards and forwards to every word Mal said pretending to listen. “We’ll take off in the morning but it’s just about time for lunch so you can join the rest of the crew in the dining room.”

* * * * *

Everyone stared as Mal and Jack entered except Jayne who was trying to guess what meal was about to be served on his plate. The team sat at the table in their usual places except Jack who sat in Wash’s former seat. Kaylee brought a plate of sloppy mash and a Big Mac to every occupant of a chair. They had been eating Macdonald’s for the past week no one wanted anymore of the crap. There came moans and groans from the table, though Jack finished his burger in one and spooned the mash in his face with the largest spoon he could find.

“Wow,” said River. The crew all turned at her, it was UN-River like to make a comment at the dinner table. She continued “you’re so slim but you eat like a pig.” No one except Mal and Kaylee had spoken to Jack at all and they didn’t even know what he was like.

“People normally say that little Missy,” Reassured Jack.

Simon blurted out “She has a name Mr…”

“Jack, Jack Cunningham but just call me Jack,” replied Jack. “Okay then Dude, let’s go around the table and tell us your names then.”

Everyone nodded and said their name in order

“Kaylee.”

“Mal.”

“Zoe.”

“Inara.”

“Simon.”

“River Tam.”

“Jayne.”

“Jayne,” Repeated Jack. “Isn’t that a girls name or something.”

“You shouldn’t of done that Jack,” Whispered Kaylee in his ear. “What you call me,” Jayne Yelled.

“Sorry didn’t mean to cause no harm, dude.”

“Well you’ve started,” said Jayne. “What about Jack that sounds like a name you’d give a dog.” Jayne laughed at his own joke looking around no see he was on his own. He stopped Abruptly and said in a low Voice “I’ll be in my bunk.” Then he turned and left the dinning room saying no more slamming the door behind him.

“He isn’t always like that Jack,” Assured Kaylee with the typical Kaylee smile on her face.

“He is,” said Mal changing Kaylee’s words.

“I’ll just stay in the cock pit all day I’m sure he won’t disturb me if I don’t him.”

Jack sat down and watched the rest of them eating thinking about the adventures he was going to have with them on Serenity.

Judge farely i'm 14 and this is the first peice of fiction i have written.