right, so i get ticked at the male race, so i write fluff to make myself feel better. i apologize. and i swear i AM working on my other story's conclusion (You Bled for me...check it out) but I can't come up with a decent ending. it's coming, i promise! enjoy.

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"So, what are you getting 'Nara for her birthday?" Kaylee's voice came muffled from under Serenity's heart as she shook her empty hand impatiently at her captain. Mal leaned over with a frown on his face and dropped the spanner into her waiting palm.

"Don't rightly know." Truth was, he hadn't thought about it at all. "What do you get the whore that has everything?" He winced, the thought tumbling out of his mouth before he could catch himself. She was gonna let him have it now.

Kaylee twisted herself around so she could stick her head out from under the engine and fix him with her most formidable glare. "The term's Companion Cap'n. 'Nara ain't no whore."

Mal had the sense to look properly chagrined. "What are you gettin' her lil' Kaylee?"

His mechanic wriggled herself back into position and resumed banging. "Simon and I decided to name the baby after her, and make her and Zoe godmother."

"She'll adore that." He replied thoughtfully. Still hadn't quite gotten used to the idea of a baby being on his boat.

"You're gonna be the godfather."

"What?"

"It was you or Jayne."

"Well I'm glad to know I'm the lesser of two evils," he said, slightly miffed.

"Now Cap'n, you always were our first choice," she replied soothingly. " 'Course we would ask you and 'Nara. Now what are you gonna get her for her birthday?"

"I'll have to think on it." There was a resounding thunk and Kaylee crowed in delight.

"Got her!" She wriggled out from under the engine, and Mal gave her a hand up. Four months along, he was still surprised that she could still get under the engine at all. Or that Simon even let her. Boy thought she was a gorram china doll these days, it was fair riding his fragile nerves. Kaylee turned over the lever and Serenity's heart started spinning again with her familiar hum.

"Good job." He pulled her into a one-armed hug and planted a kiss on the top of her head. "If you take care of this babe half as well as you take care of Serenity, it'll be the luckiest one in the whole 'verse."

"Serenity'll always be my first baby." Kaylee smiled up at him, making him smile too. "And this baby will have more love than anyone could ever dream of."

Mal nodded and gently pushed her out of the engine room. "Bet'cher hungry."

"Betcha I am!"

They walked into the kitchen, Mal looking slightly green at the weird suggestions Kaylee's cravings were making. Jayne sat with his feet resting on the worn wooden table, strumming absently on his old guitar. Mal stopped short, staring at him intently.

"What?"

"That." Mal pointed at the instrument.

"My guitar?" Jayne looked increasingly worried and confused. Mal jumped over and pulled up a chair next to him.

"Teach me."

"Mal, that space demetia got ya?" Jayne cradled the guitar protectively and leaned away.

"It's Inara's birthday next week," he explained, "I wanna learn to play her something."

"Aw Mal, you've gone soft!" Jayne groaned, disgusted. Leaning forward, he placed the guitar in the captain's hands. "Now you put your hands here, no Mal, like this..."

Kaylee grinned as she watched Mal fumble with overlarge fingers on the delicate neck of the guitar. Grabbing her pickle sandwich she tiptoed out of the mess, planting a quick kiss on each man's cheek as she went.

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"No, no, no! Gorramit Mal! You gotta keep your fingers stiff, but caress her like yer lovin' her! She won't sing for you 'less you touch her right!"

Zoe, passing the open hatch to Mal's bunk, skidded to a stop and cocked her head curiously.

"Jayne, I can't use both my hands at once!" Mal shouted back. There was a crash, and Zoe decided she'd better investigate further.

"Sir?" She stuck her head through the hatch, then almost tumbled down when she saw the scene laid out in front of her. Mal sat on his bed, looking more cross than she had seen him in quite some time. Jayne knelt in front of him, arranging Mal's hands on the strings.

"Should I leave you two alone?"

Both men jumped, looking up guiltily. Zoe could have sworn that Jayne was blushing as he stood and hurriedly brushed off his pants.

"I wuz just showin' Mal here how to play the git-taur so he can get with 'Nara." Now it was Mal's turn to blush.

"Not tryin' to get with 'Nara," he explained quickly. "It's her birthday."

Zoe entertained the notion that they had both finally lost their minds. "Well, you two have fun with that."

" 'Nara still out?"

"With a client until tonight, Sir."

"WAV me when she gets in?"

"Will do Sir." Zoe pushed to her feet and continued down the hall.

"No Mal! Gentler. Have you ever HEARD music?"

Broken chords followed Zoe down the hall, and she allowed herself a small smile. A streak of mandarin reached her ears, followed by another bellow.

"Boys," she muttered with a shake of her head.

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Inara's birthday dinner had gone off with nary a hitch, which meant to Mal that the proverbial go se would eventually hit the air recycler. Zoe's gift had been a fest of fresh food, which they devoured as if starved. Over dessert, Simon and Kaylee stood and made their announcement, and she promptly started to cry, frightening everyone with the uncharacteristic outburst. When asked to be godmother, she broke down completely, hugging a stunned Simon and Kaylee fiercely.

"Mal's godfather," Jayne interjected with a mouth full of chocolate. Inara quickly released the couple and gave the captain a searching look

"You're gonna have to teach her class," he held up his hands helplessly. "All's I got is guns and petty theivery."

She rewarded his sass with a rare, genuine smile. Jayne coughed none-to-subtly, bringing the attention to himself and River, who had materialized at his shoulder.

" 'Figured after the Reavers you'd need a lil' somethin' to protect you," he said as he handed her a lumpy package.

"It was her idea," River explained as the wrapping fell off to reveal a palm-sized revolver, grip inlaid with swirls of incandescent mother-of-pearl. "Now Daddy won't worry so much when the chick leaves the nest."

Inara smiled graciously to cover her confusion, looking sidelong at Mal to judge his reaction. Mal didn't see her, mostly due to the fact that he was shooting a deadly glare with all his might in Jayne's direction.

"Joint gift, Jayne?" he said with an edge in his voice. Comprehension slowly dawned on Simon's face and he tried to jump to his feet, but Kaylee forced his back into his seat with a firm hand on his arm.

"The girl is old enough to make her own decisions, Daddy and Simon can't tell her no."

"Can put Jayne out the airlock easily enough," Mal growled.

"Jayne-bear has acted honestly, Albatross had to force him."

"Shouldn't have to force love, lil' River."

"Daddy should listen to his own advice. Didn't have to force to love, had to force to fight the fear of Captain Daddy and Simon and the airlock."

"He's not taking advantage of her Mal," Inara interrupted, seeing him gettting more and more upset.

"Wait, you knew?" There were nods around the table from all the women.

"We all did. They didn't know how to tell you and Simon without you pitching fits like five-year-olds."

Mal loosed a string of Manadrin that made even Jayne blink in surprise. Inara reached over an grabbed his hand, shaking her head firmly. Mal stopped and took a deep breath and sunk grudgingly back into his seat.

"You do ANYTHING to hurt my Albatross," he said with deadly calm, staring down his mercenary, "I will end you in the most gory way that will make even Niska quaver."

"Me too!" Simon piped up, still a disturbing shade of purple. Kaylee stroked his arm, trying to get him to breathe. Inara looked around and sighed.

"Thank you for the lovely dinner," she smiled around the table, surprised that suddenly Mal couldn't meet her eyes. Zoe and Kaylee stood and began to clear the plates, Jayne helping when River pulled his ear until he stood. The party stayed around for a while after the dishes were cleared away, but eventually the crew began to wander off until the only two left were Mal and Inara, sitting side by side on the small couch. There was an awkward silence, until Mal finally turned to face her.

"Didn't know what to get you for your birthday, seein' as you've got pretty much everything," he said slowly. "So I'm gonna play you something instead."

"Play me something?" Inara was throughly confused. "I'm sorry, play against me at something?"

"No, play you something. Like a song." Drawing Jayne's guitar from the corner, he turned a chair to face her and tried to ignore the look of skepticism on her face. "Jayne taught me."

"Mal, if this is a joke you don't-" she started, but the halting sounds of chords cut her off.

"Take my love, take my land, take me where I cannot stand..." he began slowly. As she listened, he actually made it through the hauntingly beautiful song that she had never heard before with only a few mistakes. When he had finished, he paused for a second and stared at the strings, not wanting to see the snide laughter he was sure would be splashed across her face. Inara herself was stunned. No one, not even her richest clients, had done something so incredibly thoughtful or selfless for her...ever. Before she knew it, she had grabbed his face in her hands and kissed him in a very un-Companionlike manner. When they finally broke apart, he searched her eyes and saw something there that he had hardly allowed himself to think about when he had undertaken this fool venture.

"Happy birthday," he whispered, leaning in again. Absently, Inara thought it was the best one that a girl could ever ask for.

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