A/N: Thanks to all who read. As a reminder, I ascertain that the beginning of the BDM makes a lot more sense if it is depicting a second rescue attempt of River, not replaying the first one we were never privy too. It's best to read Part XI if you still have questions on this.

Thanks to Leiasky for her thoughts and feedback!

I don't own the 'verse, I just play in it. Enjoy all.

***

As soon as Simon felt the lift jolt into place, absorbing itself back into Serenity’s hull, he breathed a deep sigh of relief. Kneeling next to his trembling sister, Simon pushed some of her hair out of her eyes and lifted her chin up to look at him. “River,” he questioned quietly, searching her gaze for any sign of recognition. “River, it’s me, Simon. Can you hear me?”

Slowly and with great difficulty, River rescued her brain from the dark and desolate place the Alliance had forced it to. In a rush the sights and sounds around her came flooding in: the cold metal beneath her skin, the sharp pain in her head and torso, the fear and anxiety filling her heart; the loving and comforting face that was only inches from her own.

“Simon,” she questioned with a voice not nearly as strong as it had been inside the hospital. He nodded once, and she wrapped trembling arms around his neck, burying her face into his shoulder as huge sobs wracked her body. “Home now,” she questioned, her voice muffled against his shirt.

Fighting back his own tears, Simon held her tightly, vowing silently to never let her go again. “Yes, mei mei, we’re home.”

Not a second after the words were spoken, Simon felt her body go limp, the adrenaline in her system finally dissipating, allowing her body to shut down and start to work on repairing all the damage the drugs had done. Pulling her back from him, Simon quickly took her pulse and checked her breathing. She would be all right; she was just too exhausted to keep her eyes open a second longer.

Looking up, Simon took in the concerned faces staring down at them. Faces of people he hadn’t known just a year ago, but faces that had come to mean more and care more for him and River than their own parents. Nodding in Mal’s direction, the captain came forward with Jayne and gently lifted River’s sleeping form from the cargo hold. Simon hoisted himself out of the hole as Kaylee, nervous tears wetting her cheeks, shut the wide doors and watched the three men exit the room, River’s limp body cradled against her brother. Zoe and Inara followed the small entourage in silence, Inara looking back to catch Kaylee’s gaze and give her friend a small smile of reassurance.

The relief the mechanic felt at having both Tams back on board was almost impossible to put into words, but it also filled her with fear. Kaylee had not missed the concern and love that had passed between Simon and River just seconds before. She had also not missed the way in which he had cared for her in those moments, protecting and shielding her. It was eerily similar to his behavior the first few months they had been on board Serenity, when Simon had not even known Kaylee existed. When the only thing he’d been able to concern himself with was River, her needs, her pain, her recovery. Kaylee’s fear was a result of the fact that she knew with certainty that the young doctor’s attentions would now be demanded elsewhere and that meant any hope for their budding relationship was gone.

It shamed her to think that way. It wasn’t River’s fault and it certainly wasn’t Simon’s that his sister needed him so. But Kaylee had thought, for just a few moments over the past week that they had a chance at something more than friendship. It was something she’d been wanting for a long while and the emptiness that its absence left in her heart made her sad beyond reason.

Shaking her head to clear the disturbing thoughts, Kaylee made sure the hold was fixed up right and headed back for the infirmary. Regardless of what happened between her and Simon, River was back on board and that young girl was going to need as much love and support as she could get. And Kaylee would give all she could; she always seemed to have enough to go around.

***

Simon worked diligently on his sister for hours. He had immediately hooked her up to a clear IV, pushing saline in her system in an effort to flush out the drugs. He had run a battery of tests on her blood, trying to pinpoint and isolate as many different narcotics as he could. He hoped the more he knew the more effective his treatments would be. Of course, the more he knew the sicker he became at what she must have suffered through, but he tried to push those feelings down and work like a physician – detached and competent.

The crew hovered, but did not interrupt his work. Mal would come by and check on the two of them every hour or so and then, like clockwork, Zoe and Wash would drop in. The pilot tried to engage Simon in some light banter or at least crack a few jokes, but after his third punch line was met with crickets, the jovial man had given up and let his wife lead him from the room.

Inara stopped in, asking Simon what she could do, how she could help. Simon gently refused anyone’s assistance, stating that there was really nothing to be done until River awoke. Even Jayne seemed concerned, although whether it was for River or his own safety, Simon would never ascertain.

It was Kaylee who baffled him most. She had made herself a fairly permanent fixture on the couch opposite the infirmary’s entrance since they had returned from the planet, and while her vigil never wavered, she never came any closer to him, River or the medical bay. Simon had thought, given their interactions over the past few days, that she’d be standing by his side, worrying about River, admonishing him to get some rest, telling him to at least eat something, but she kept her distance and as much as it bothered Simon, he had too many other concerns at the moment to deduce the meaning behind her actions.

Focusing back on his sister, Simon ignored the crew as they started their cycle of visits all over again. Instead, he kept studying River’s vitals, willing himself to stay awake and look for the key to her insanity. Gazing down at her as she slept, the pained expression on her delicate features was all the reason Simon needed to deprive himself of sleep, food, everything. His sister had never deserved to suffer and Simon would make it his mission to be sure she never suffered again.

***

It was a full day before River’s eyes fluttered open. She turned her still aching head to one side and then the other, taking in her surroundings. Casting her gaze down, she focused on the top of Simon’s head, his forehead resting on her hand where he’d finally succumbed to sleep. Smiling gently at him, River reached out a stiff and sore hand and gently brushed light fingers through his hair.

Stirring at the touch, Simon raised his head slowly, stretching and yawning in an effort to wake up. Finally bringing his eyes to rest on his patient, he blinked them rapidly as realization came. “River?”

“Yes, Simon,” she told him haltingly, her voice tired from disuse. “I’m here.”

Wrapping his arms around her, Simon embraced his mei mei in a big hug, unable to hold back his joyful tears. River cried too, feeling the strong sense of Simon’s relief and subsequent fear that her ordeal had just begun. She tried to ignore the overwhelming emotions emanating from his mind, but her time at the Academy had weakened her defenses and it took all her effort to not pass out as the strong feelings rolled off of him in waves.

Once Simon had released her and settled her back on the bed, he resumed his place at her side, gently wiping away her tears. “This time, I knew you’d come,” she whispered, the tears falling faster than Simon could get rid of them.

Nodding, Simon didn’t trust his voice quite yet. Finally, he murmured, “I’ll always come for you mei mei. You know that.”

River gave him a small, weak smile, but it was one of the most beautiful expressions he’d ever seen. Fighting back more of his own emotions, Simon quickly sobered himself as he heard someone say, “Well, looks like our little one is back, huh doc?”

Simon turned to regard Mal, a goofy grin spreading across his features. “She is indeed, captain,” he reported, turning back to see his sister. “She is indeed.”

“Hey, what’s all the – Well, River, would you look at you.”

Wash had rounded the corner, Zoe on his heels and the man’s face broke into a huge grin at the sight of River’s round brown eyes open and alert. Zoe’s face also softened realizing the girl was awake and River regarded them for a moment. Looking to Wash, she said, “You’re still here. I was hoping I’d get to see you again.”

Puzzled, no one had time to comment as Jayne, Inara and Kaylee all came rushing into the room. “We thought we heard voices. Is everything –" The Companion broke off abruptly as she realized what had happened. Rushing to River’s bed side, she gently caressed her cheek as she said, “Oh River, it’s so good to see you.”

“You too,” River said, her voice still husky from disuse. “I thought you’d be gone.”

“No, of course not, mei mei,” Inara said, hoping the rest of the crowd would just think she was again speaking gibberish. “I’m right here. I had to make sure my girl was going to wake up.”

“Well, I guess it’s comfortin’ to know Crazy’s back,” Jayne snorted, his insensitivity getting a swift whack on the arm from Kaylee. Taking in the scene, River reached out a hand to the mechanic, motioning her forward. Kaylee hesitated for a moment, but knew she couldn’t deny the sick girl.

Stepping past Inara, Kaylee took the offered hand and said, “Hi sweetie. It’s good to see you.”

“You too,” River told her. Squeezing her hand tightly, River’s eyes held Kaylee’s in an intense gaze as she whispered, “Give it time. It’s meant to be.”

Glancing to Simon for some kind of explanation, he simply shrugged his shoulders with a puzzled look. He couldn’t make heads or tails of it either. Deciding it would be best to humor her, Kaylee gazed back down at River’s face, and said, “We got all the time in the ‘verse. You just gotta get better, ya here?”

River nodded and then yawned, her eyes again fluttering closed. Ushering everyone from the room, Simon waited until River was again sound asleep, before exiting the infirmary for the first time in over 30 hours and closing the door behind him.

Gazing at her for a moment longer through the door’s porthole window, Simon turned to face them all. “What’s the prognosis, doc?” Mal stood with his arms over his chest, trying vainly to give away nothing.

“Good, for now,” Simon said, sighing heavily as his fatigue finally caught up with him. Sinking into a nearby chair, he let his eyes wander around the room as he said, “I’m encouraged by the fact that she woke up so quickly and was so alert. It’s a good sign that there hasn’t been any permanent damage.”

The room fell silent again as everyone considered the implications of that statement. Damage seemed a pretty hollow word for what that girl had suffered.

“Well, we’re heading for Beaumonde,” Mal said, breaking the silence. “I’m guessing they’ll have some supplies you might need and it’ll give us time to get the ship refueled and restocked.” More silence.

Glancing to his crew, Mal saw the tiredness playing across all their features and wondered when, if ever, they were going to catch a break. “Wash, how soon till we make landfall?”

Wash brought his eyes up to meet the captain’s as he said, “I’d guess about two days or so, give or take a few hours.”

“All right then. We got a few days, folks. Let’s take it easy for a while.” Turning to Zoe, Mal said, “We need to put out some feelers, we’re going to need another job right quick, especially if the doc here wants to spend our hard earned money on meds.” It was meant to be a joke, but no one smiled. Instead, Zoe nodded once and headed for the bridge, Wash not far behind. Jayne turned to leave the room, saying, “I’ll be in my bunk.”

Bringing his eyes to rest on Kaylee, Mal took in the young girl’s face. She had been quiet, reserved even, since they had gotten off Osiris. Mal didn’t like the look in her eyes; the jittery anxiety and hint of pain. He didn’t like to think of his lil’ Kaylee in any state of unhappiness. “Before we touch down,” Mal said quietly, making Kaylee focus on him, “I want you to run a full diagnostic on this old boat. If we need some parts, Beaumonde’s as good a place as any to get ‘em and for not a bad price neither.”

Kaylee nodded once, accepting his order. She let her gaze fall on Simon whose eyes had not left her face for several moments. A lot passed between them in that moment, a lot of things that didn’t need to be said with words, couldn’t really. Sighing, Kaylee nodded again and took her leave.

Simon wanted to follow her, very badly, but River demanded his attention now. As if sensing something, Simon rose and looked back into the med lab and saw his sister beginning to toss and turn in her sleep. Excusing himself, Simon pushed open the room’s doors and then shut them again, leaving Mal and Inara alone.

The silence between them was thick. Mal didn’t like it; it made him feel all sorts of foggy and he wished with every fiber in his being, that he could make the uncomfortableness between them go away.

“The Guild has arranged for a shuttle to collect me at Beaumonde.” Her voice was small, but determined and it took Mal a few seconds to really register the meaning behind her words.

“Oh, well,” Mal fumbled for the right words to say. He wanted to stumble upon the right combination of syllables that would convince the beautiful woman to stay. But Mal knew he didn’t have that kind of power. “If that’s what you want,” he said lamely, unable to lift his eyes from the floor.

Hurt more than she would ever admit to anyone, Inara looked to him for another minute before turning quickly and fleeing the room. It was time to move on she knew that now with certainty. But it didn’t make the pain any less.

Thankfully, she was safely ensconced on her shuttle before the tears came.

***

Simon left Mal and Inara outside as he approached River’s writhing form on the infirmary’s bed. She was still asleep, but the monitors in the room were going crazy as her heart rate soared and her breathing became irregular. Simon went to prep a smoother, but stopped abruptly, when he felt rather than saw River begin to calm herself.

Turning to face her fully, Simon resumed his seat by her bedside and stroked her forehead gently. “Shh, mei mei,” he whispered, hoping his words were soothing to her. They always had been as children. “You’re safe now. I’m here.”

Her eyes blinked open for a moment, focusing on him. Reaching out a shaky hand, River placed it over Simon’s and whispered, “Mom and dad?”

“They’re gone, mei mei,” Simon told her, keeping his tone light. “I told them it was time for them to leave.” Simon hoped he hadn’t misread her feelings regarding their parents; he was fairly certain she’d wanted them gone as much as he did.

She nodded as if answering his unspoken question. “We have a new family now,” she told him, her eyes lighting with a faint, but noticeable spark. The slight glimmer made his heart jump, giving him hope for the first time in days. “The family you choose means more.”

Shaking his head, Simon leaned down to place a light kiss on her forehead. She was clammy and cold as her body worked to detoxify itself, and Simon reached down to pull a blanket around her. Placing it up under her chin, Simon said, “No one’s more important than you, mei mei, no one.” Fighting back more tears, he whispered, “I love you.”

“Love …” her voice trailed off as her body had to again succumb to sleep in order to retain any of the strength that remained. Simon settled back to watch her, content to look on her for hours.

She was all that mattered now, regardless of his feelings for a certain other young woman on board. River was the reason for everything: she was the reason they were here, the reason he had walked away from his life … the reason for his life.

He could never resent her for that. He had loved her and cared for her since they were children and he would keep doing so until she no longer needed him. But he knew there would never come a day when he didn’t need her.

***

Two Months Later

***

Kaylee was again in the engine room. There weren’t too many hours of too many days when she wasn’t. Covered in engine grease and not a small amount of sweat, Kaylee swallowed back a whole raft of curse words at the stupid catalyzer she was trying to recalibrate. I could do my job a mite better if the capt’n would just get some decent parts, she thought to herself.

It had been a few months since Inara had gone and River had come back and Kaylee had to admit, she was getting used to the new atmosphere on Serenity. She had hated at first, hated the empty sight of Inara’s shuttle and the tension that seemed to follow River wherever she went. It was unsettling for all of them, most of all Kaylee to know that River was even worse now than she had been before. And it was immensely sad.

She cared for River like a sister, that was the truth. And Lord knows she cared for Simon. Seeing the two of them, tired and burned out from endless days of treatments and arguments, drained Kaylee as well. Her heart went out to Simon as he continued to struggle to heal his sister. He had done everything he could think of to make River better, but so far it seemed nothing had succeeded in helping to take her pain away. She still awoke screaming in the middle of the night, still spewed out gibberish no one could understand, still could be a danger to herself and others around her. The guilt Simon felt only intensified as the days wore on and was eating away at him just as intently as his exhaustion.

Kaylee had tried to reach out to him. She had been a little standoffish when they’d first made it back, determined to give Simon and River both the space they needed. But now, after weeks of little to no contact with either of them, Kaylee was trying to help them as best she could. Simon had politely refused her offers to talk, to keep him company, to help him with River, and Kaylee knew why; pride. Simon’s guilt over his inability to truly protect River gave way to an intense pride that translated into a fierce sense of duty. He couldn’t accept anyone’s help where his sister was concerned, because it would just be another sign that he had failed her.

The rest of the crew seemed content to let the siblings suffer alone, but Kaylee hadn’t given up, not yet. She could help them, she knew it, and she would.

***

“You are such a boob.”

“River?” His sister’s voice had pulled Simon from his journals. He had been intently studying some of his earlier entries regarding River’s treatment, trying to see if any of the techniques or medications he’d administered in the beginning might be worth trying again. So far, the answer was no.

“River, you should come in. It’s not polite to lurk.”

“Not lurking, avoiding,” River corrected as she poked her head around his open door and languidly made her way into his room. Sitting lightly on the end of his bed, she said, “You shouldn’t lurk either.”

Fixing her with a patient look, Simon closed the book and gave her his full attention. “I don’t lurk.”

“Not lurk, hide,” she told him. Reaching out to place a delicate hand against his forehead, she continued, “In here and here,” she explained, placing her other hand over his heart.

Covering the hand that rested on his chest with his own, Simon locked his eyes on hers as he said, “What do you want to know, mei mei,” he asked, thinking he understood her meaning. “I would never hide anything from you.”

“Not from me,” River said, rising abruptly and exiting the room. “From someone else,” she sang back to him, her voice fading as she went to again wander the ship, lost in her own world.

Simon sighed heavily and rubbed his temples, hoping he could will away the constant headache that had formed there. As much as he wanted to fain ignorance at River’s cryptic statements, he knew he couldn’t. Simon knew exactly what she was talking about and even worse, he knew she was right.

***

Kaylee made her way up from her bunk, feeling a hundred percent better since she had washed up and changed her clothes. Working around the engine all day was tiring and dirty and she always liked to get clean right before she crawled into bed. It was soothing to her somehow.

Getting ready to check on her baby one last time, she turned to head through the dining area and almost ran smack into Simon. Smiling sheepishly, Kaylee went to sidestep him, murmuring, “Sorry, Simon.”

Simon countered her movement, keeping himself between her and the end of the hall. Looking up to him quickly, Kaylee tried to guess what he was playing at. Unable to form any reasoning, she asked, “Can I help you?”

“I, uh, I was wondering,” he stammered, his nerves getting the better of him and bringing a small smile to Kaylee’s already bright features. Gorramit, her glowing face wasn’t helping matters. Rubbing a hand absentmindedly along his neck, Simon finally swallowed hard and said in a rush, “I was wondering if you might like to join me for a cup of tea?”

Of all the things Kaylee had thought he might say she hadn’t expected that. Trying to gauge the intent behind his impromptu invitation, Kaylee kept her eyes locked on his face, until he finally raised his baby blue eyes to meet hers. The look she saw there, made her breath catch in her throat. Besides his obvious apprehension at being turned down, Kaylee saw a glimmer of the Simon she had seen a few months ago, when he had kissed her and held her, unconcerned with the consequences. At the time, she had thought she was seeing another side to the man she knew she would love her whole life. Now, she saw the glimpse of a man who could love her back.

Taking a deep breath and biting her lip against her own nerves, Kaylee stepped toward him and placed her arm through his. “I’d love to.”

Releasing a huge sigh of relief, Simon squeezed the hand that rested in the crook of his elbow and turned a bright smile on her, which Kaylee returned tenfold.

***

Cue Serenity's Opening Credits (after the rescue op).