River felt Simon’s concern before she even opened her eyes. She had no idea how long she’d been out, but she could tell from the strong emotions that emanated off her brother it had been long enough and he was worried.

Stirring, her eyes blinked open and she tried to bring them into focus. “Mei mei?” Simon’s voice was soft, as he gently stroked the hair back off her forehead, his warm hand covering her cold one. “Mei mei, can you hear me?”

She nodded unsure if she could trust her voice. Deciding it was time to feign ignorance, she asked, “What happened?”

“You don’t remember,” Simon asked, his doctor brain working in overdrive as he tried to connect the dots. “You fainted on the bridge, right after we made it off Persephone.”

Of course, River remembered the whole ordeal, but Simon didn’t need to know that. He didn’t need to know that this was just the start of more to come. Looking around the room, she turned back to him and questioned, “Where’s Kaylee?”

Puzzled by the abrupt change of topic, Simon said, “Sleeping. I sent her to bed. I’m worried about you, mei mei.”

She fixed him with a knowing smile and gently patted his arm. “I’m fine, Simon. Just over tired. I was having a hard time sleeping and that job must have pushed me over the edge. I feel a hundred times better.” Pulling her hand out from underneath his, River swung her legs over the side of the bed, and stood, fighting back the wave of dizziness the motion brought.

Simon stood back at her sudden movement, unsure what to make of it. Coming forward and wrapping an arm around her waist, he said, “Mei mei, I really want you to stay in here for tonight. I need to monitor you. I’ll stay with you,” he added, certain that her hesitation came from not wanting to be alone.

If he only knew … Shaking her head, she gave him her best defiant stare and said, “Nope. I’m going to sleep in my own bunk. Now you can help me there if you want, but I’m not staying here.”

Simon studied her for a moment more, again baffled by his little sister. She had seen more and survived more than just about anyone on board, and yet she still had the ability to remind him of the little girl he’d grown up with. Walking with her towards the door, his arm still firmly around her waist, he said, “I don’t like it, but I’ll let it slide.”

As he helped her into her room, and sat her on the bed, he motioned across the hall. “I’ll be right over there if you need anything.”

River smiled at him and said quietly, “Go be with Kaylee. I’ll be fine.”

Simon smiled back at her and then came forward to press a kiss to her temple. “I love you, River.”

“Love you,” she told him as he left the room, securing the door behind him. As soon as he was gone, she flopped down onto her bed, sighing in relief as she realized the sleeping thoughts of the crew would not assault her tonight. But still ...

Rolling over onto her stomach, she buried her face in her pillow as the sobs came, giant, chest-heaving sobs as her mind tried to regain its perspective and its tenuous grasp on her sanity.

***

Inara heard the shuttle set down, but she didn’t turn to see it. She was sitting, as she always did at sunset, not too far from the grave stones, watching the planet’s sun sink below the distant horizon. She heard his footsteps behind her, but she didn’t turn to greet him, until the sky had changed from a brilliant orange to gentle pinks and purples. Rising slowly, she took a deep breath before meeting his gaze.

Her breath caught in her throat. Never before, and she had known Malcolm Reynolds for almost two years, never before had she seen such concern in his features. She had expected to see anger or annoyance, maybe even humor, but not concern and it only worked to soften the walls she had been placing back around her heart.

Without a word, he stepped forward and embraced her into a huge hug, his arms encircling her back and drawing her into him. She was so surprised by the gesture, she tensed at first, and then simply sunk into his arms, wrapping her own small limbs behind his back. She breathed in the smell of him, so warm and inviting after so many months away. She could hear his heart beating fast and she smiled slightly realizing her own heart was also racing. Even after all this time, Malcolm Reynolds could still surprise her.

After what seemed an eternity but would never be long enough, Mal pulled back, keeping Inara at arm’s length and studying her intently. Finally, he said, “Why didn’t you tell me where you were going?”

She shrugged slightly and dropped her gaze to the desert floor. She couldn’t stand to see the hurt in his eyes, knowing she was the one who had put it there. “I didn’t know myself. I thought I’d stay at the training house, but I just …” Glancing over her shoulder, she took in the grave stones in the distance, the shapes getting fainter in the approaching dark. “I couldn’t keep this place out of my head. I thought being here would help.”

Mal nodded once, again studying her expression as she brought her eyes back to his. She was close to tears, she knew it, and she hated it. She had cried too many times over this man who held her, and she wanted that to stop. Stepping out of his embrace, Mal dropped his arms loosely to his side as she said, “Why are you here?”

“I was worried about you,” he told her truthfully, in no mood to enter back into their old pattern of banter and bite. “We had some trouble a few days ago, and I – well, I think there’s a good chance these people will try anyway they can to get to me and the ship. If they tracked you down …” He left the thought unsaid, unwilling to alarm her any further.

Inara knew he spoke the truth. He wouldn’t have come all this way or greeted her like he had for any other reason.

The night air kicked up, sending a shiver over Inara. Wrapping her arms around herself, she said, “We should head inside. It’s going to get downright cold in just a few minutes.”

Mal nodded once, and reached out to wrap an arm around her shoulders, pulling her to him and enveloping her in his warmth. She didn’t fight him as they picked their way back across the rocky terrain to her cabin.

***

“Look I played my part in your little show, so I ‘spect to be paid.” Badger was hopping mad. No body, and that included Alliance, backed out on one of his deals.

“Mr. Badger, as I’ve already explained our objectives were not met. Therefore, no money will exchange hands.” The creepy blue-gloved agent glowered at him through the screen and it only infuriated Badger more.

“What do you think this is? I got a business to run and that {son of a monkey’s ass} just flashed out here with one hundred of my credits.”

“Language Mr. Badger,” the man said, fixing him with a disproving look. “I’ll remind you that we are not people you want as enemies, so I would control that temper of yours, before it causes you trouble.”

Badger was ready to fire off another retort, when his chest suddenly constricted. At a loss for breath, he slumped into his chair, breathing shallowly and clutching his hand over his heart. What in the bloody hell had just happened?

“You see, Mr. Badger,” the agent continued. “Stress and anger can have adverse affects on one’s heart. It’s best you remember that.”

Without another word the screen went blank and immediately Badger felt the tension ease out of his chest. Ruttin’ government cronies, making the life of a working stiff like me all kinds of uncomfortable. Oh well, at least he had revenge to take his mind off such unpleasantness.

“Get me Harris, now,” he barked to one of his men. Still rubbing a hand absent-mindedly over his chest, he smiled inwardly at the thought of catching Malcolm Reynolds and his merry little band for good.

***

“He’s made contact.” The agent fixed his partner with a hard glare waiting for the other man to admit he’d been wrong.

He got no such confession. Oh well. “Then let the games begin.”

***

Mal liked the little cabin Inara had made her home over the past few weeks. It was warm and inviting and reminded him of his ma’s house on Shadow. Inara stoked the fire that was dying while Mal took a seat on the comfortable, worn sofa. He watched as Inara busied herself for a few moments more, hesitant to stop moving and face him, but finally, she ran out of inconsequential things to do, and sighing, took a seat far from him on the couch.

Mal made no move to sit any closer, but when he spoke his voice was quiet and guarded. “You should of told me you were here. I don’t like the idea of you going through this alone.”

Inara raised her eyes, knowing there were tears there and hating it. “I’m fine, Mal. I just needed … a little perspective, I guess.” She swallowed hard past the growing lump in her throat.

He watched as she fiddled with the fringe of her shawl, her nervous fingers keeping up an anxious pace. He took in her pained expression and noticed as the first tear fell down her cheek, splashing on the silk of her dress, leaving a small, dark stain. She wiped away the tears that followed, but there were too many and after a few moments, she just let them come.

Mal reached over, unable to watch her as she fought through more of her pain, and wrapped his hand around hers. She was shaking something fierce and his steady touch immediately calmed her, although her tears still came. Looking to him, she saw something in his eyes that she had been searching for: understanding and love.

Allowing her sobs to overtake her, Inara fell into his chest, crying loudly. Mal, for the second time that night, wrapped his arms around her and held her as she cried out her grief and pain.

***

“Mei mei,” he whispered when he was only a hands-breadth away. “What have you done?”

Glancing down to the pile of bodies, she recognized the faces now: Kaylee, Zoe, Jayne, Wash, Book and the Captain. They were bleeding, their eyes frozen open in terror and pain. Dropping the sharp weapons from her hands, River covered her face to block out the images. When she pulled her hands away to plead with Simon for forgiveness, her vision was full of red. Her hands were covered in the sticky substance of the blood of her family.

“Simon,” she whispered. He seemed not to hear her, as he leaned down and scooped up Kaylee’s dead form. “Simon!” She screamed it this time as he walked away from her, leaving her among the dead.

“Simon!”

“River, sweetie, you okay?”

River awoke in a cold sweat to Kaylee’s concerned face. Glancing quickly around the room, she pushed down her fear as she recognized her surroundings. Of course, it had just been the dream, again. She was fine, everything was fine.

“Kaylee,” she said, her voice shakier than she’d hoped. Sitting up quickly, she gave the young woman a smile she did not feel and answered, “Yes, I’m fine. Just a dream is all. What are you doing up?”

Kaylee sighed and sat on the end of River’s bed. “Just restless I guess. Simon’s out like a light. Was he always such a heavy sleeper?”

River grinned even bigger and this time she felt some of the happiness the expression usually meant. Pulling her legs up underneath her, she leaned against the wall of her bunk and told her, “Always. I used to play tricks on him when he was asleep. One time I lined up all my dolls on his chest and along his arms and when he woke up he was spooked so bad he screamed like a girl.”

Kaylee laughed out loud at the image, and quickly placed a hand over her mouth to stifle the noise. It was the middle of the night; she didn’t want to wake anyone. “You really were a troublemaker, weren’t ya?”

River continued to reminisce, enjoying the warmth of old memories. “Yes, Simon is actually not exaggerating on that count, although, he does tend to overstate things.” Settling more comfortably into her blanket, River regaled Kaylee far into the night with more stories of she and Simon as children. They were moments she was only too happy to share as they were the only moments she ever remembered with any fondness.

***

When Simon finally opened his eyes the next morning he realized for the first time in quite a few months he was cold. Examining the bunk around him, he was able to identify the cause fairly quickly, Kaylee wasn’t there. She always managed to keep him more than cozy in the night and he felt her absence in more ways than one.

Curious, Simon pulled on some pants and a shirt and quietly slid open the door. Peeking into the hallway, he didn’t have to look very far. Across the way he could see the top of Kaylee’s head through River’s open door. Crossing the space between their bunks, he smiled as he took in the scene before him. River was sitting with her back to the wall, Kaylee’s sleeping form in her lap. He watched as his sister absent-mindedly ran fingers through Kaylee’s hair, humming a tune that was vaguely familiar to him. Simon was almost certain it was a lullaby their mother had used to sing.

“Mei mei.”

River looked up as he called to her, and smiled at him. “She was tired.”

Simon entered the room and sat gingerly on the end of the bed, resting a gentle hand on River’s shoulder. “You look tired, mei mei. Did you get any sleep last night?”

River nodded once, her eyes again focused on her hand as it ran down and through strands of Kaylee’s honey brown hair. She watched each piece as it fell from her fingers and then started the pattern all over again. “Got enough.”

“River,” Simon shook her shoulder a bit, trying to get her to focus on him. When she brought her eyes up to meet his gaze, he found his breath catching in his throat. She didn’t look well, and no amount of convincing was going to change his mind. “If something’s wrong, I need you to tell me. That way I can fix it.”

River smiled at him with no real joy and that hollow expression made Simon’s heart stop. She wanted to tell him, but she knew it wouldn’t do any good. Admitting what was wrong would only make Simon anxious, make him worry and make him feel useless, because she knew there was nothing he could do. He wanted to help, desperately, but she knew his want and his reality weren’t the same thing – even if he didn’t.

“Silly brother, I’m fine,” she told him again, her voice stronger as she resolved herself to move past this. Gently removing herself from underneath Kaylee, the girl stirred a bit and curled up into a tighter ball. Getting up, River headed out of the room. “Don’t wake her too soon, she didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.” She left for the bridge and then, thinking of something else, popped her head back around the corner. “And don’t have sex in my bunk.”

***

“The job on Persephone was a complete disaster.”

“Not completely, just more unfortunate than even we anticipated.” The two agents were again determining their next best strategy and it was slow going. The Tam girl had proven to be their most formidable opponent to date and none of their old tactics were working.

With their last trap coming up empty handed, they now had to truly start all over again and rethink the best way to get a hold of the crazy genius.

“If we want to go through her brother, why don’t we just lure him out of hiding?” The first agent was still not convinced that going after the girl was their best option. She had already proven to be too much for them, more than once. Why not prey on the weaker sibling?

“He may not be as gifted as River, but Simon Tam is not an idiot,” his partner told him, scanning through the Tams’ backgrounds. “He’s been on the run now for over a year. He knows how to stay below the radar and I’m pretty sure he can spot a trap.”

“Well, then what do you suggest?” He sat back and waited, arms folded over his chest.

“I suggest we wait.” When his partner made no move to elaborate, the first agent said, “Wait? That’s your new master plan?”

Smiling tightly the second agent tried to quell his intense dislike for his partner. While they might have been matched as a pair based on over a hundred select and similar principles, that didn’t mean he always liked the man.

“River Tam is a time bomb, and a ticking one at that. If we wait long enough, she will explode and then we’ll be able to pick up the pieces with relative ease.”

“We can’t sit back and do nothing, waiting for the girl to lose it.” He really didn’t like this idea at all. Too many things could go wrong; there were too many variables.

“Well, I didn’t say we wouldn’t help her along.”

***

Mal’s side was on fire. The pain from his gut wound was screaming at him and it pulled him, quite violently from a restful sleep. Determined to switch positions and hopefully ease the discomfort, Mal realized that was easier said than done. Looking down, he saw Inara’s sleeping form on his chest. She had been so exhausted last night that instead of trying to do the proper thing they had both given in and fallen asleep in each other’s arms.

It was the most peaceful rest Mal had had in a good long while and he was glad for it. He was not however, enjoying the excruciating, pounding pain in his side. Realizing he had no other choice, Mal gently rolled away from Inara and fell quite unceremoniously to the floor.

And the noise did just what he’d been trying to avoid – woke her.

“Mal?”

“Yup.”

“What are you doing on the floor?”

He turned to look at her, her sleepy face more than beautiful and he had to give her a small smirk. Leaning back onto his knees, he pushed himself up from the floor and sat on the coffee table running parallel to the couch, careful to favor his hurt side. “Sorry, ‘Nara, I didn’t mean to wake you. My side was just, bothering me.”

Her face immediately grew concerned and without even asking, her hands flew to his side, lifting up his shirt to examine the bandage he still had there. As her delicate fingers played across his skin Mal groaned and not entirely from pain. She was a fine looking woman and Mal was in no state to be denying any of his feelings.

“It doesn’t look like it’s bleeding. Let me get you something for the pain.” She turned to get off the couch, but Mal caught her slender wrist in his hand.

“I’m fine, Inara, thank you,” he told her. “But we gotta get back to the ship. You ready for that?”

Inara bit her lip and forced her eyes away from his. Truth was, she didn’t know if she’d ever be ready to set foot back on Serenity. There were so many memories there, both happy and sad. Plus there was …

Finally meeting his gaze, Inara said quietly, “I can’t keep doing this, Mal. I understand that me being out here alone makes you vulnerable to the Alliance and I’m sorry for that, but,” she paused, uncertain of how to continue, uncertain of how much she should say. She was still in pain, a lot of it, and whether it was that pain that weakened her resolve or her need to get her feelings out in the open, she would never know. “We’ve lost too much, I’ve lost too much to come back to Serenity and have things pick up right where they left off. That’s not what I want.”

Mal could see the silent plea in her eyes. Those big, brown eyes almost screamed at him to make it better, to tell her what she wanted, and what he needed to say. He had come too far to deny her that now. “Things are going to be different, ‘Nara,” he told her, pulling on her wrist to bring her closer to him. Their faces were only inches apart now. “I’m not saying I’m the ‘verse’s best … well, anything,” he grimaced and got the smile from her he had been hoping for. “But I’d be a damn fool if I let you on my ship one more time without trying to make things different, better, between us. I will try, but you gotta be patient with me.”

Inara had started crying again and Mal hated to see that. Reaching up to wipe her tears away, he whispered, “Please don’t cry, ‘Nara. I hate making you cry.”

She shook her head and said slowly, “No, these are happy tears, Mal. I’ve been waiting for you to say something for so long, I’d lost hope.” She looked back into his eyes and rested a gentle and cool hand against his skin. “I want to go home, Mal.”

He nodded slowly and then gently brought his lips to hers. The passion in their kiss was unlike anything he had ever experienced before. He had never loved any other woman like he loved Inara. He slid his arms around her, working his hands up into the soft dark curls of hair. She leaned into him, giving in to the emotions that they both had kept long buried under the surface. When they parted, they kept their foreheads together unwilling to break the contact. “We need to get back to the boat,” he told her while trying to catch his breath. He noticed with just a little bit of satisfaction that Inara was panting as well, her cheeks flushed with excitement.

“Can’t it wait just a little while longer,” she asked, pressing light kisses to the side of his face and around his ear.

“Why Ms. Serra, however will we pass the time?” He teased her and got a quick bite on his ear for his troubles which made him smile even wider.

“We’ll think of something,” she whispered to him, and sinking back onto the sofa pulled him towards her. Their lips met again and Mal lost all sense of control as everything became about the beautiful woman working her wiles on him.