Not my ‘verse, I stole it. Not my story, I stole it to. Just wanted to tweak things my way for fun. I believe the only original line is “Simon says”.

You can take the boy out of Hera…

By: Jailbird

Chapter Two “But the Doc’s Usually Such an Easy Mark”

Everyone’s sitting at the table when Simon and Kaylee stroll in late for dinner as usual these last few weeks. Simon holds out Kaylee’s chair and gives her a small peck on the cheek as she sits.

Mal states around his last bite. “And how long has all of this been going on?” It was really getting old them trying to hide a thing like that on a ship this size let alone make a meal on time.

“Ten minutes after those Alliance doc’s brought him back. They’ve been rutting like bunnies for weeks.” Jayne states not even trying to talk around a mouth full of lo-mien.

“12 days, 14 hours, and 36 minutes.” River sounds like she’s reading it out of a book.

“I really didn’t need to know that, Albatross.” As Mal thinks he really didn’t.

“Then don’t ask.” States River sarcastically.

“Now this isn’t going to be a problem…is it?” Says Simon not even having a chance to take his seat yet.

Mal stands and begins with “Well Doc, that depends on you. Are you going to marry our little Kaylee or are you the love them and leave’m sort. I don’t want a boat load of hudan running around out here, dong ma” As he gestures up with his chopsticks.

“What? I can’t possibly marry Kaylee...“ The doctor regretted those word as soon as he spoke them.

“What can’t, or…or won’t or might or…whatever.” Kaylee says almost in tears as she darts back toward the engine room.

“No Kaylee…bao bei…” The Doctor shouts over his shoulder after the women of his dreams. Now he turns back to Mal, “…Happy.”

“Not really, sorry Doc.” Says Mal almost apologetically.

Right then some thing broke in Simon. “You must think I am the dumbest three percent ever.” Simon says clearly very distraught. “Even the man-ape there knew the first time I sat at this table that she liked me.” Simon tries to hold back a sniffle and fails. Softly and to River he says, “Up till now it’s been all about keeping you safe…away from them.“ Louder and to Mal “I didn’t want to get Kaylee involved. Let alone marry her; tie her to a life on the run. I have nothing to give her; there is no family fortune; no more easy life for us. I’ll never be able to give her anything she really deservers a family, a safe home; NOTHING.” The Doc was almost whaling now. “Never knowing when the mighty Alliance would be knocking down our door. I’ve loved her since the first day we met… When she was shot…and still smiled at me.” He was in tears now and thrusting his finger into his chest. “How I got her shot! And she still smiled at ME.”

Simon was near a break down and Inara could take no more “The only Hudan here is Mal!” She says while standing giving Simon a chance to storm out of the room and down the back stairs to the infirmary. “I can’t believe you.” Inara says at Mal as she starts to follow Simon.

“Hey, wait a minute, I didn’t mean it. But the Doc’s usually such a easy mark.” Mal say to the retreating Inara.

“Don’t even look to me, sir.” Zoë says as she clears her plate and heads for her bunk.

“I did know, too.” Jayne says with certain smugness.

River replies with “MAN-APE” and then sticks out her tongue.

“But I was just joking; Like I ‘almost never’ meant that I was gonna throw him out the airlock.” Mal protested to anyone left still listening

River points out. “You meant it with Jayne.” To the shock of the Captain and Jayne alike, she makes a slurping sound like a child eating noodles.

“Ah, about that, little Albatross.” Mal says looking for the right words.

“No, no Captain, me and Simon have had that talk with Jayne already. Haven’t we?” River says while glaring at Jayne with a nod.

“Yeah, yeah, kill me with your brain, I remember.” Jayne says without conviction.

“Aren’t you worried about you brother?” Mal asked.

“You mean the man you got to tell you he loved his girlfriend before he told his girlfriend. No, not really Inara’s got a plan.” River state rather plainly.

***

TBC