| Brenda: Mission not accomplished. Got the bed to move a little bit sideways using shoulder and hands. But no way is it going forward with out some help. Have to have a think on who I can ask. |
| Brenda: Mission today to try and move my bed. I am sick and tired of not being able to do any writing or reading in bed.
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| Brenda: Yeah, I know I should. I've been there and done that over my dad's oldest sister. No one told us that she was gone and we should have called her ages before but we never did. Still miss the lady. But then I don't know the last time we called and I talked to her. I was talking to the cancer, not here. She was saying how tired she was and she couldn't stay on the phone. It was really sad. |
| Brenda: That photo I think was taken in Ireland my mum wouldn't have known who it was related to us. Her family is long gone, so no one to contact there. And I never really saw the photos from her family when she was alive and I doubt she really knew who the people were. Happens when you loose touch. Her aunt, my great aunt came up when I was in high school and gave me some verbal information that I wrote down and still have. It's not much but still better than nothing. The three I have over a hundred years old are my grandfather, one with his sister and one of a cousin of his. All were taken in Scotland before he left. They have the address of the studios they were taken at. I looked up the address for fun. They are long gone now. |
| 6ixStringJack: Yeah. You really should try to do a meet up or two now while you still can. I know from experience how time can easily slip away from you and then it's just too late to do anything about it. I just found out an aunt who I was really close to years back had recently died of cancer. They weren't even part of any family drama, but since we lived so far away from each other and the rest of our family just kind of scattered like the wind, we'd lost touch. I hadn't talked to her in over 10 years and kinda been beating myself up about that one the last few weeks. |
| 6ixStringJack: Yeah... It's a shame that you don't know who they are. I know at one point I'd gone through some of them with my grandma and by that point even she didn't know who a lot of those people are. Some of those photos are extremely old too. Like old, old, old... I'm assuming many of them were not even taken in America and they came on whatever boats took my ancestors here. At this point, I don't know if we even could figure out the answer to exactly which side of the family a lot of these came from. My grandma's or my grandpas (or even her first husband's, who died before I was born). |
| Brenda: I should try and get my friend to arrange something. At least at the care home she is in. That would be the easiest. That's one thing my friend knows how much I love her mum. |
| Brenda: That is good and that is what you have to remember. It is a shame you never got to go through the family photos with your grandmother. Those photos are precious too. My dad's side I can identify the older ones and I mean old. I am talking over a hundred years old. The ones I have of my mum's side are harder. I have one photo that must have been tintype because it actually has some weight to it. It's from my mum's side and it was taken I am fairly sure in Ireland. A group of men sitting by a small stone wall. Couldn't tell you which man is related to me. That information is lost. |
| 6ixStringJack: If you don't think you'd get a lot of push back for whatever reason, you should try to make the meetup happen sooner than later. My friend was being real possessive of his dad in those final days and even though I made it known that I wanted to go there and say my goodbyes he didn't want anybody to see his dad like that. I did get to talk to him on the phone one last time though, and I realized why he was doing it. That conversation was for me and not for him. Forget about whatever he looked like at that point, but I don't think his dad really wanted anybody to even hear him like that. He was the kind of guy who would have been annoyed that we had a funeral for him where people were crying and we didn't have a huge party in his honor instead. Really good man. |
| 6ixStringJack: Yeah. You're right. We had a lot of time together. She took me in when I needed help and I'll never forget that. I'm glad that the last few years we got together every month or two with my aunt. Just never made time to go over there and do things like go through all those old family photographs with her. My aunt has all of that now, and I"d bet if we ever went through it half of those photos we wouldn't even be able to identify now without her. |
| Brenda: She brought her over to her place a year ago in the summer and me and another friend went there and visited with her mum. But she was able to get around more then. Her mum did have a phone in her room but she had to have it taken out. She is forgetting a lot of stuff now, mostly in a wheelchair. Like a while ago she started forgetting to eat. Maybe one of these days I will talk to my friend and see about seeing her. She still remembers people as I said. |
| Brenda: When a loved one gets sick and then they die. We all wish that things had been different. You can tie yourself in knots with the what ifs. I know I've done it. Not so much over my mum but maybe some over my dad and sure as shooting over myself. That's why say you have to treasure the time you had with your grandmother. But I am sorry that you didn't get to spend all the time you wanted with her. |
| 6ixStringJack: Is there any way you can see your friend's mom or at least talk to her now? |
| 6ixStringJack: Honestly, I had no clue that the morphine in a bottle would do that to her either, or despite what I could have lost I would have fought it a lot harder than I did. I was only fighting for her because she didn't want the drugs. I didn't know that it would kill her within a matter of days. I don't blame my family for it. I just wish things had gone different is all. She'd be gone by now almost certainly, but at least I would have been able to spend some more time with her in the end, and did some of the things I wish I took the time to do when she was still alive. I thought I still had 6 months to a year to do those things, but really it was less than 24 hours before they put her on that dose and it was over. |
Brenda: We were. She became like a second mother to me after my own passed. I know what you mean about people keeping serious things like that to themselves. I've known people like that. Now, as I said I just dread at times talking to my friend. It hurts to hear how her mum has gone down hill in the last while. She still remembers people including me.  But that day will come. I think my friend's brother wants to keep me from knowing when her mum passes. But she said one time I will be told about it. |
| Brenda: Don't I know that. They would say "Oh, we will take care of your mum." And I think riiiiight. You'd get her to all her doctor's appointments and make sure her meds were all up to date. I just finally started ignoring them. |
| Brenda: Well, you know what they say hindsight is 20/20. And if they didn't know or understand about these drugs, not really their faults. It's just a shame that your grandmother had to go like that. |
| 6ixStringJack: Sorry to hear about your friend's mom. Sounds like you guys are pretty tight. That's how it was with my friend's dad. I spent more time with him than either of his sons the last few years of his life. I feel bad for my buddy because his life was nothing but chaos at the time and he didn't spend nearly enough time with his dad. But nobody knew that it was happening except for his dad, who kept all of that to himself until he got the bad news that it was terminal. He'd been living with cancer for years and taking care of it without even letting his family know about the diagnosis. |
| 6ixStringJack: Its a shame that people judged you like that when your mom was passing. Everybody has their opinions and most people cant keep them to themselves.
I haven't seen my mom or step-dad for probably over 5 years at this point. Not since they moved to Florida. We talk on the phone maybe 3 times a year now. There's probably a good chance that I never see them again, so I'm not really worried about it. I hope it's quick when it happens though. I don't want her to suffer. |
| 6ixStringJack: Had my grandma's kids known that it was a murder drug, I don't think they would have been so quick to give it to her. That's not how it was sold to them by the lying doctors. There were plenty of lesser drugs in that kit like codine and similar stuff, but we jumped straight to the murder drug because that's what the doctors and the hospice nurse told them to do. |