The Sereni-Tree, settling in, Twister, more piratey angst, and continuing adventures on Boros by TheRealMe

What? I was talking about my shoulders, you know how tense I used to get on the ship. 'Sides I thought staying covered in pie cream would present other problems.

Visit WWW.Marillion.Com for a better way to live
"He's seen too much of life And there's no going back.
The loneliness calls him, And the edge which must be sharpened,
He's losing it. And he knows.
But there's a fighter in his mind and his body's tough
The years have been unkind, but kind enough." -Ocean Cloud (Marbles) -Marillion

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Sunday, January 29, 2006 3:11 PM

PsychicRiver, I've tested every man on board this ship to try to find your father but there hasn't been a match. I'll keep scanning everyone we encounter though.

Yes, we should assign quarters to all new personel. Perhaps if they make a request here and we'll give them a room? And yes, we really should try to track down Emma. And no, we really shouldn't do karaoke. Or at least I shouldn't; tone deaf I'm afraid.

I'm sorry TWG, you were trying to tell me something before. What's up?

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Sunday, January 29, 2006 3:33 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
PsychicRiver, I've tested every man on board this ship to try to find your father but there hasn't been a match. I'll keep scanning everyone we encounter though.

*smirks* I don't think you have.

Quote:
And no, we really shouldn't do karaoke. Or at least I shouldn't; tone deaf I'm afraid.

...that hasn't stopped me...

Quote:

I'm sorry TWG, you were trying to tell me something before. What's up?

*grabs his shirt by the cufflink and drags him down the corridor*

www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
"...turn right at the corner then skip two blocks...no, SKIP, the hopping-like thing kids do...Why? Why not?"

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Sunday, January 29, 2006 4:08 PM

CALLMEATH

*looks down and notices that he's suffering from an abundant lack of pants.

Goes with it.*

"Invader's blood marches through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants. The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins!"

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Sunday, January 29, 2006 5:47 PM

*falls onto the couch and *squidges* Lmd, just cause*

Oh wow! Never ending popcorn!

*takes a bowl from seryn and begins happily eating and contemplating PR's announcements*

So are we going to assign rooms at random or let people pick them out on their own?

Ok, people the tour begins now. Hands out mini- holo maps of the ship and proceeds through the common room. *picks of the weird duck* First stop, the beautiful animal park.

Mai, Secretary of Unmentionables.
http://iammai2.livejournal.com

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Sunday, January 29, 2006 6:02 PM

LIGHTMEDARK

*grinning slightly after the squidging, elemdee ponders, huh...wonder where that came from. after so long in the hidey hole that sort of gesture is almost foreign to me...but wonderful. i hope it was the truth and not just a result of chemicals., elemdee sighs, there go song lyrics running through my head again...he shakes it to clear his thoughts, maybe this is all just some wonderful dream that i just haven't risen from yet - but what about the dreams I had of her before? this gets a bit complicated...*

/me smiles at Mai, following her on the tour

I really don't know much about this place...why don't you pick my room for me?

---
http://www.xffx.net/blog <-inching towards daylight

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Sunday, January 29, 2006 6:05 PM

=====
I think I finally figured out the confusion! Duh! Why didn't I notice it before? PANTS = trousers or jeans to us silly yanks, but to our Brit friends PANTS = undies. That's why Seryn was trying so hard not to look. Golly, I can be dense sometimes.

=====

www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
"...turn right at the corner then skip two blocks...no, SKIP, the hopping-like thing kids do...Why? Why not?"

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Sunday, January 29, 2006 7:46 PM

SCORPIONREGENT

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Well, Seryn, not EVERYTHING operates by voice command. Oh, and we have backup controls on all of our com-links. Here, here's yours. Com-links for everyone.

Com-links, of course, are voice-activated.

"You mean to tell me that you have no hard wired failsafe breakers? Are you aware of the axiom that there is no such thing as minor emergency on a space ship? Well it's your funeral."

SR turns to Seryn and gathers up his tools and multimeter.

"It was good to see you again Captain, but some how I think it's time for me to leave. I got what I needed: a bit of sleep, a bite to eat, a chance to clean up. I'll gather up my affects and be on my way."

SR tosses the comlink to TRM on the way out of the bar.

"Nice toy, reminds me of something I broke one christmas morning."

SR strides out through the common room ignoring the throng. He returns to the room he was crashing in, locking the door from the inside. He puts on his coat, heavy boots and straps on his weapons and equipment. When Seryn finally picked the lock and was able to force the door open, a bayonet had been wedged in to keep it closed, SR was missing.

Scorpion Regent

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Sunday, January 29, 2006 9:35 PM

Seryn looks from the empty room to TRM.

I don't know what that was about. He's become a lot more highly strung since I last saw him...

*looks into the room again, sighs,closes the door*

Its a pity, he's a great bloke when he's not telling people how to run their boats.... Not that I would know that, but there were rumors....

Look, I have to rejoin this tour, *runs off to animal park*

-------------------------------------------
"She's a mite whimsical in the brainpan."
Xander: "Hi, for those of you who just tuned in, everyone here is a crazy person." *grin*

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Monday, January 30, 2006 2:28 AM

I have explained to you the difference between our various pants before TWG. I assumed that everyone was performing the good sort of pantless Twister.

Now kindly remove yourself from my cufflinks and explain what it is you need to tell me. Ooo. Is there a stowaway on board? Because I promise you I have gone up to every man on board and checked them to see if they are PR's father. So wherever he is, he's not here.

What?

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Monday, January 30, 2006 4:39 AM

BLUEFISHIE

*gets out of the tank*

I'm bored now...

*walks into a closet and rummages around*

...no...no...ow!...crap...yessss!

*walks out dragging an axe almost as big as her and a large stick over her shoulder*

^by my friend Yoko, an interprentation of me

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Monday, January 30, 2006 4:40 AM

I will not remove myself from your cufflinks until you test every man on this boat!

*gives her Kaylee is finding Simon a bit annoying at this moment look*

For a genius time traveling doctor, you sure can be dense. Maybe that's what I find...um, right, can you test someone for me?

www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
"...turn right at the corner then skip two blocks...no, SKIP, the hopping-like thing kids do...Why? Why not?"

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Monday, January 30, 2006 5:19 AM

What? Okay, sure, fine, I'll test somebody for you. But I can't see what good it'll do, I really have gone up to every man here.

Er...

It's not a woman, is it?

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Monday, January 30, 2006 6:08 AM

Oh, and about Emma. I have been keeping careful track of our progress in rescuing her.

Thread 28: Emma departs the Sereni-Tree with at least Rat-clone as a companion. They take the shuttle Admiral Nelson off on a trading venture (I believe to the Delgassi Empire, but I'd have to check).

Thread 29: We receive a distress call from Emma.

Thread 30: We locate the Admiral Nelson adrift in space. It contains an unconscious Rat-clone and what appear to be Malicious and Zoid (who perhaps stowed away). There is no sign of Emma, and nobody aboard can tell what happened to her.

Thread 31-32: We use shuttles to take several parties over to explore the approaching ghost ship Arkham, from where Emma's distress signal seems to originate. Static claims to have seen Emma during his adventures during the Madness of Arkham, but this may hve been an illusion caused by the Dark Tower. The evil clone of ThatWeirdGirl took Rat-clone with her on the Nelson, claiming to have another lead on her location. But sadly, Emma's Rat-clone and the Evil TWG clone dissolve with all the other clones.

We tracked down the pilotless Nelson, but otherwise the last several threads have involved our recovery and the chasing down of other folk who have been lost. However, we have no leads at this time regarding Emma.

I suppose that I could open a dimensional portal to her, but for for plot device reasons this will not work at this time. (It has to do with the fact that the real Emma is busy with school just now).

TheRealMe, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

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Monday, January 30, 2006 6:23 AM

*leads the newcomers into the park*

"Here we have the Sereni-tree animal park. As you can see its a bit of a strange combination of jungle/forest/desert plant and animal life. All the animals here are fed by the autofeed system which brings the food at intervals of 3-4 times a day, depending on the type of food that they require."

*points out the Frederick, the dinosaur happily munching away*

"Come here little Fred, come on now, come meet the nice new people"

*Fred lumbers over, still chomping madly (is that a bit of cloth? what is with these animals?)

NO FRED! How many times do I have to tell you, no eating clothes! or shoes, or tires, or people! Not that he eats people mind you, well at least he hasn't since he's arrived. Nothing to worry about I assure you.

*The dino lets out a roar and everyone scurries away from him. He then lowers his head.*

"Awww aren't you being such a ham! Now stop scaring everyone. *pets Fred* Go on and play.

"Right sorry about that. On with the tour. There are also many other animals that have made this park there home. For instance, at the beginning of the 'Tree many domestic animals, such as cats, were brought on by the crew. There are also monkeys. *a small monkey, wearing a space suit, swings through the trees just ahead*

"As you can see the park covers quite a vast expanse of this floor. If you'd like to explore it more later on your own, simply press the small indicator on your map and it will save the location with exact directions from whichever part of the ship you come in from.Any questions? Everyone ready to move on then?"

Mai, Secretary of Unmentionables.
http://iammai2.livejournal.com

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Monday, January 30, 2006 7:11 AM

***I don't think im the girl to be helping you with that kind of tension Mr Showerfresh...*** (Reply follows in paragraph below)

As a very fresh and very new newbie, Washie hurries to catch up to the rest of the tour. As she crowds in at the back of the group of oldsters and newsters, she whispers, "That's my job..." to Jadehand as she wipes away a bit of showery soap from behind his ear.

Wondering what her assigned living quarters will be like, she pictures a space of walls awash with lovely silken scarves, a luxurious hot tub, a small plashing fountain in the corner, a couple of cabin cats purring on fluffy pillows and a complete Iron Chef kitchen in which to prepare culinary masterpieces. Or at least apropos for making wet burritos (will provide the recipe later, should anybody be interested.)

Ogling the LOVELY animal park we're touring at present, Wash thinks the llama Schwarz might well find a nice permanent home here, should cozen decide the llama is simply a cud-chewing mammal rather than his life-mate. Odd, that. He acts like the llama's no big thing to him yet he persists in carrying around that Mona-Llama portrait complete in heavy gilded 3x5 foot frame. Hmmmmmmm.

*steals a bit of popcorn from a small bag carelessly tucked under somebody's arm.

Around a mouthful of corn, Washie says to Seryn: "Yeah, the Animal Park's swai and all, but I'm ready to move on. But HEY! Anybody gonna introduce me around at some point? Give me a tour of personnel, so to speak, on who you all are and what your particular motivations be?

I did read TRM's jing zi opening and have followed faithfully along via reviewing vid captures while showering with Jadehand at the same time (although it was ungodly tough to keep my attention on studying the signal what with a bare nekkkie stud to study, but I did my best, lemme tell ya) but howz about roll call and role calling?

* subsides into awkward silence, liberating another small handful of popcorn.

Pic courtesy of KellyofLuthien

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Monday, January 30, 2006 10:02 AM

Wow, what a cute dinosaur!

Oh, that probably a good idea, I think I have everyones names, but I could be wrong. But, rather than delay the tour, why don't we use your little stud muffins idea...?

*whispers behind hand* and don't take this the wrong way, but between you and me, I could stand to hear a little less about one of my old crew being all naked...

*To Jadehand*

Do you still have that stickerpad and sharpie pen handy? I'm sure theres enough room on one for a brief bio aswell.

Or we could stop here for a get to know you picnic. I'm easy.

-------------------------------------------
"She's a mite whimsical in the brainpan."
Xander: "Hi, for those of you who just tuned in, everyone here is a crazy person." *grin*

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Monday, January 30, 2006 10:15 AM

JAKE7

**jake7 gets to the common room only to find it empty**

Geez! Fast meeting!

Whew!! **she fans her hand in front of her face to wave away the odiferous stench that is permeating the Common room.**

Good gravy! It smells like a llama in here!

I wonder where everyone went?

**She flips on her communicator to see where everyone has gone and hears the sounds of a tour going on.**

Ah. Well, guess I'll meet the newcomers soon enough.

**she notices the pie and popcorn left abandoned and snags a slice of chocolate pie and a bowl of popcorn. She heads to the slightly less odor-filled kitchen to enjoy her snack.**

--------------
MAL: Everybody's makin' a fuss.
***********
"They just float out there, sending out raver breeding parties..."

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Monday, January 30, 2006 10:20 AM

SOULOFSERENITY

The Man They Call Soul...

Soul sits on the sofa in the common room, his legs up on the ottoman, a bowl of popcorn in his lap, an ice cold root beer in his hand, and AvP playing on the bigscreen TV.

______________________

Soul, Security Chief of the Sereni-Tree, Captain of Destiny.

Mantichorus: "So is there a reason they call you 'Soul'?"
Soul (after a long pause): "Yeah. Because I have one."

http://havenofsouls.blogspot.com/

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Monday, January 30, 2006 11:45 AM

CALLMESERENITY

*Serenity comes into the common room carrying a large and heavy box*

Oof!

Soul! I have presents!!!!

*Soul looks up from his popcorn with a quizzical look on his face.*

I ordered this stuff awhile ago and it's finally come in.

*She rips open the box and begins digging. Styrofoam peanuts fly everywhere.*

Now, remember how you said you didn't know anything about being a dad and you needed a book? Well...

*She hands him a very large tome. Across the front it reads "Everything You Could Possibly Need to Know About Being a Parent. Volume 1 *

Soul: Volume 1????

CMS: Yep. There are 4 more, so if you read one a month, you should finish before the baby arrives!

And that's just the beginning. This is the piece de resistance ( or perhaps l'enfant de resistance ).....

*She reaches back into the box and pulls out a babydoll.*

Soul: A doll?

CMS: Not just any doll! This is the Baby3000. It's a robot baby similator. It acts like a real baby. It cries and burps and hiccups and coos. You have to feed it and change it and rock it to sleep and everything else you'd have to do if it were a real baby. I ordered the boy.

Soul: Why the boy?

CMS: *smirk* You've never changed diapers before have you? Well, you'll find out. Now, I'm putting this baby in your care. It'll be good practice for you so that when our baby's born, you'll be an expert.

*She hands him the baby. It immediately begins to wail.*

CMS: (over the yelling) So, what should we name him?

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny
President of the Juggled Gosling Chatroom

I have a live journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/callmeserenity/

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Monday, January 30, 2006 11:52 AM

SOULOFSERENITY

The Man They Call Soul...

Quote:
Originally posted by CallMeSerenity:

*She hands him the baby. It immediately begins to wail.*

Soul finds himself suddenly wishing he had a real beer.

Quote:

CMS: (over the yelling) So, what should we name him?

Soul looks over at her.

"We're having a boy?" he yells back.

She nods.

"Well...as long as it doesn't begin with 'CallMe', we can name him whatever you want!" Soul yells.

______________________

Soul, Security Chief of the Sereni-Tree, Captain of Destiny.

Mantichorus: "So is there a reason they call you 'Soul'?"
Soul (after a long pause): "Yeah. Because I have one."

http://havenofsouls.blogspot.com/

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Monday, January 30, 2006 12:20 PM

CALLMESERENITY

No silly! The doll's a boy. What shall we name the doll? We can't just call it "Baby3000".

And what's wrong with "CallMe"???

It's been in my family for generations!

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny
President of the Juggled Gosling Chatroom

I have a live journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/callmeserenity/

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Monday, January 30, 2006 12:56 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
Er...It's not a woman, is it?

Um, no, I mean, there was that night with...no. Not a woman. How could two women have a male child? Impossible. Heh.

I would just like to point out your phraseology here, "I really have gone up to every man here." Interesting how you put that. So you've gone up to every man that's been on this ship these last two months.

*nods*

I don't want to scare you or anything, but, see, um, did you scan yourself?

*his eyes get wide and he's not quite sure what to do with his now very nervous hands*

*cue suspenseful da da dummmm music*

www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
"...turn right at the corner then skip two blocks...no, SKIP, the hopping-like thing kids do...Why? Why not?"

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Monday, January 30, 2006 1:05 PM

Quote:
.Oh, that probably a good idea, I think I have everyones names, but I could be wrong. But, rather than delay the tour, why don't we use your little stud muffins idea...?

*whispers behind hand* and don't take this the wrong way, but between you and me, I could stand to hear a little less about one of my old crew being all naked...

*To Jadehand*

Do you still have that stickerpad and sharpie pen handy? I'm sure theres enough room on one for a brief bio aswell.

Or we could stop here for a get to know you picnic. I'm easy.
.

Hey, it wasn't like that. It was a shower, remember the pie cream? And I was on Rose's crew, 'cause taking orders from Nell....erm, you, would have been far too distracting. I mean, it would have been harder to focus on task. And let's not tell everyone about the pad, it's more than just a name pad. And i don't know how it will effect them. Look, I'm sorry if I upset you. There's a lot going on and a lot to talk about. It looks like the crew here may be gearing up for something, I'll help them out where I can, But during down time, I hope we can talk. I'll be in a room down the hall from you. Please come by and see me. Picnic sounds good.

Visit WWW.Marillion.Com for a better way to live
"He's seen too much of life And there's no going back.
The loneliness calls him, And the edge which must be sharpened,
He's losing it. And he knows.
But there's a fighter in his mind and his body's tough
The years have been unkind, but kind enough." -Ocean Cloud (Marbles) -Marillion

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Monday, January 30, 2006 1:22 PM

Oh, hey, sorry, I forgot they were, ah, special stickers.

Ok, well thats that idea kiboshed. Um, *thinks*

oh, I'm forming a cunning plan...

Right, leave the picnic for now, we are disrupting Mai's tour.

*aside to Jadehand* I know you wern't on my crew, but it was as good as.. you're like a brother - better than, no sibling of mine would have stood by me and Rose as well as you did, even up to the eyeballs in Rum. *grins* and upset me? bagh! it takes a hell of a lot to upset me, but you know what I was just saying about the brother thing? I can't know that!
They are gearing up for something, and we will talk, but *looks a Washie* She's an extremely attractive girl, I forbid you to go waiting round in rooms for me..

-------------------------------------------
"She's a mite whimsical in the brainpan."
Xander: "Hi, for those of you who just tuned in, everyone here is a crazy person." *grin*

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Monday, January 30, 2006 1:35 PM

CMS, I thought I told you to stop piping suspenseful music in through the hallways. It's very distracting.

You know something; you're right. I haven't tested myself. But... okay, fine, let's do this to be thorough.

*scans self*

Right and the test shows that I...

Oh.

Oh my.

*has difficulty breathing*

That means that I'm...

*gulps air*

And... that means we... we...

*wheezes*

I need to sit down for a moment.

*slumps to the ground*

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Monday, January 30, 2006 2:13 PM

*twg steps forward and picks up the tricorder from the floor. Thought so. She leans against the wall and slides down to sit next to him, shoulder to shoulder*

Breathe, Simon.

*she intertwines her fingers with his and gently holds his hand*

I know it’s a bit of a surprise, but it doesn’t mean we have to do anything today or even tomorrow. I…*she looks away for a moment to catch her breath*…I knew there was reason I asked you to join us *she smiles at him and he tries to smile back* Whenever this happens, it will be because we both want it to happen. It will be because we love each other and we want a son…17 or 30 years from now…no need to jump into anything this second…

*she looks up to find him staring at her*

…unless you want to….but we don’t have to. *she smiles at him. He is breathing normally once more* I baked some pie. Simon, would you like some cream pie?

www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
"...turn right at the corner then skip two blocks...no, SKIP, the hopping-like thing kids do...Why? Why not?"

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Monday, January 30, 2006 2:23 PM

* Extremely diverted by SimonWho's recent discovery, Washie nevertheless takes time to focus on an apparent misunderstanding in an attempt to avert a Peyton Place soap opera sitch in the 'Tree.*

"The shower thing? That was more of a dream sequence kinda deal, see.... Nothing to see, move it along.

So let it be written, so let it be done.

'Nuff said?

*moves along, shifting her dainty feet, toes scuffing at the dust, whistling idly, wondering when the lovely tour will recommence.*

"OH! (she yells!) Before we move along, I could stand to hear some more about SimonWho and Who(m) he owes an explanation to!"

Smiling and subsiding, Washie waits impatiently, filling the time by nodding to Seryn, wordlessly thanking her for the (completely accurate) compliment she recently paid to her extremely attractive girly self.

Pic courtesy of KellyofLuthien

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Monday, January 30, 2006 2:40 PM

COZEN

*Pockets his digicam.*

Well... I wuz bored!

***
"You think somebody wouldn't go see somebody if they didn't want entertainment?"

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Monday, January 30, 2006 3:01 PM

*tries desperately to hide the look on his face, you know that look of a man who's just been given both barrels of a sawed-off at point blank strait to the heart*

Yes, right, the tour. Very important tour, it looks like it may be starting up again. Let's join the rest of the group.

*Motions for the lovely ladies to move forward with him, and quickly, quietly takes a few steps back and spins on his heel. Returns to the zoo. Here he slumps against the wall and drops to a sitting position. Pulls out Jacks bottle of rum tips it up and drains it into his gut. Replaces the bottle and slumps over, waiting patiently to be eaten by the friendly Frederick the dinosaur.*

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Monday, January 30, 2006 5:00 PM

SCORPIONREGENT

Quote:
Originally posted by Jadehand:
*tries desperately to hide the look on his face, you know that look of a man who's just been given both barrels of a sawed-off at point blank strait to the heart*

Yes, right, the tour. Very important tour, it looks like it may be starting up again. Let's join the rest of the group.

*Motions for the lovely ladies to move forward with him, and quickly, quietly takes a few steps back and spins on his heel. Returns to the zoo. Here he slumps against the wall and drops to a sitting position. Pulls out Jacks bottle of rum tips it up and drains it into his gut. Replaces the bottle and slumps over, waiting patiently to be eaten by the friendly Frederick the dinosaur.*

A hand reaches down from above and liberates the bottle from JH's grasp. JH looks up to SR standing over him taking a serious pull on the bottle.

"SR I thought you left,"

"I did, a week ago, but I forgot something. Here this is for my captain." SR hands JH a envelope and takes another strong pull from the bottle.

"You forgot to give this to the captain?" JH says indicating the envelope.

SR shakes his head. "No I forgot to get a drink." he hands the bottle back to JH and turns to go. "must be dashing,"

"A week? You've been gone for less than a hour." JH struggles to his feet.

SR turns the next corner. His voice is still audible. "No you've been here for less than an hour since I left. I've been gone a week."

JH walks around the corner to find a very empty hallway. JH looks at the bottle in his left hand and the envelope in his right and wonders if a twelve step program is in order.

Scorpion Regent

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Monday, January 30, 2006 5:29 PM

COZEN

Quote:
Originally posted by ScorpionRegent:
....wonders if a twelve step program is in order.

*Wanders up to ScorpionRegent and Jadehand, bottle(s) in hand.*

Hey, fellers.

*cozen procures a handy couple bottles of Oban.*

Truth is, I'm kinda lost and confused. F'rinstance, the fine Sereni-womenfolk be ignorin' me, and, heh, who can blame 'em, eh? 'Disoriented' might work. Drink?

***
Um, am I PR's granddaddy? It's all so complicated....

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Monday, January 30, 2006 7:09 PM

A list of the crew and passengers of the Sereni-Tree? Well, I include one of those in each "TheRealMe's Guide to the Sereni-Tree". However, I will reproduce the crew list here, updated to match the latest events.

The Crew and Passengers of the Sereni-Tree

Bluefishie: Often just wanders around the ship. Has pet blue fishies. Power: “Magic” marker.
CallMeAth aka Ath: With Lissa, creator of the kissies; Powers: pyro-kinesis, predictive parrying, and wings.
CallMeSerenity aka Serenity (Gardener): Ath’s sister; built greenhouse in cargo bay; mother-to-be; Power: flight via blue-white angelic wings.
CastIronJack: One of the Brothers Grimm. Perhaps a bit high-strung. Currently on Boros.
Citizen: A businessman of Boros dealing with Safe, Jack, and two Brides, who has not yet set foot on the Sereni-Tree.
Cozen aka The Infinite Goof: Kidnaps women and subjects them to pleasurable torture; Power: insect and clone creation / control.
Ebonezer aka Ebo (Captain): Exuberant, impulsive; nest under the pool table; Power: speaks to any creature.
Elwoodmom (Mom): Knows what is best for us; occasionally stops by to give advice; Powers: eyes in the back of her head and other “Mom” powers.
Emma: Space-going entrepreneur (thief). Owns (stolen) spherical spaceship. Faints at the slightest danger. Currently MIA.
ItsAWash: Curious newcomer.
Jadehand aka BlackJackRackham, Keeper of the Rum: As Rackham, pirate from the Sea of Wings, from Rose’s ship. Drinks copious amounts of rum. Ex- husband of ThatWeirdGirl. Power: Refilling rum bottle (but only as Jack).
Jake7: Volunteers for all the hard missions; enjoys a game of pool. Power: force field-projecting gadget.
Jazaf: Master swordsman, mystery man, Sensei to Bride2; Power: metal-shaping.
KellyofLuthien (Cook): Red-headed Elf woman interested in Ath. Pleasant, helpful. Powers: Immortality, Elvish magic; wielder of Narya, Ring of Fire
LightMeDark aka LMD aka Elemdee: Somehow arrived drunk from the eighth floor of a skyscraper? Interested in Mai. Powers: banana powers?
Lissa: With Ath, creator of the kissies; tends to prefer the calmer times (and jacuzzis).
Mai (Cruise Director): Not an attack-and-kill kind of girl; has pet dinosaur Frederick; sometimes disappears and has to be quested for. Power: light generation.
Malicious (Mistress Most High): Regal and self-assured Goddess-Queen; Powers: thread-jacking, charisma, and beauty. (Not seen in a very long time; perhaps still enjoying the World’s Most Comfortable Chair).
Monkeytail: Former cabana boy of the Forgotten Not A Guy/Girl Clubhouse. Admits to being a bit lazy.
MontanaGirl (MedAssistant and Vet); Likes Cozen’s kidnapping methods. Likes things to go boom! NASCAR fan.
Needleseye (Assistant Engineer): Aquatic carnivorous faerie creature; shapeshifts to monster; creates flowers.
NoSkillz (Security Deputy): Something of a gunslinger. Has a pet tiger Shadow.
Piffle101: Breeder of piffleponies.
PsychicRiver (Security Deputy): Son of TWG and SimonWho from the future. Just a little crazy; knits; Powers: telepathy, precognition, telekinesis.
Rat (Acquisitions Officer): Troublemaker; messes with things; Power: inventor, weather prediction, elemental blasts.
Safeat2nd: One of the Brothers Grimm. A pilot. Currently on Boros.
ScorpionRegent: Brown haired, red-bearded pirate formerly with Nell’s crew. Very competent fighter. Powers: Appears and disappears from nowhere, with time shifts; Piratey Angst.
Seryn aka VoodooNell : Has bag of holding, shapeshifting formula, and trained attack bunnies. Masquerading as Nell, a pirate captain from the Sea of Wings, sister to Rose.
SimonWho (Physician): Helpful, friendly, annoys women he likes; Power: Timelord; blue box; destroys entire planets
SoulofSerenity aka Soul (Security Chief): Archer with trick arrows. Willing to sacrifice self for friends. Father-to-be with Serenity. Power: Desolidification.
Static (Pilot): No-nonsense guy; Gunslinger; Powers: piloting; combat with blade and gun.
ThatWeirdGirl aka TWG aka the pirate Mad Anne Rackham (First Lieutenant): Playful and weird; Pepsimilk proponent; Power: Confusion; also shorts out electronics.
TheGreyJedi aka TGJ aka Grey (Engineer): Loner tech-priest; Powers: MacGuyver-like scrounging / inventing; angelic Jedi powers.
TheRealMe aka TRM (First Officer / Navigator): Level-headed, reliable; Powers: inventor, dimensional portals, and space-folding.
XanderLHarris aka Xander aka Ash: Powers: two heads; Shindig goddess.

The Brides

Bride2 aka Deuce: Red hair, freckles; impulsive, tempermental; strong, athletic, and tomboy-ish; acrobat. Has pair of katanas.
Bride3 aka Trey (Bartender): Tall woman of African descent. Practical, wise. Mixes drinks and deals cards.
Bride4 aka Jet (Assistant Engineer): Small of stature, dark hair, brave and intelligent, wears glasses.
Bride5: Beautiful woman of Asian descent; long straight black hair; affects the “glamorous” look; fashion conscious. A pilot.
Bride6 aka Bobby Sue: Giggly and excitable blonde; curls and dyes hair; does nails; likes frilly and lacy dresses. A gun nut. Currently on Boros.
Bride7: Blushing psychotic bride; files nails; avoids work; good cook; possibly cannibalistic. Currently on Boros.

Departing Guests (folks we THINK are leaving or gone)

GedunkRose: Pirate Captain from the Sea of Wings, sister to Nell. Loyal to friends; ruthless to enemies (or anyone else!). Returned to Sea of Wings.
MadMortyMcFlint: Pirate on Nell’s ship who poked his head in once.
Phantom: A ghostly being wandering unseen among the crew. Evaporated during game of pantsless Twister before it could do any evil.
TheManInBlack aka Roberts: Teleported in, tracked Serenity with magic, and delivered singing telegram from Ash and Xander, then departed.

On Ice (known to have been put into cryogenic suspension):

Bride1 aka Ace: Blonde assassin with katana. “Reaverized” by FemaleReaver. Slain by Needleseye.
FemaleReaver: Very dangerous, very intelligent, very clever, very persuasive, very good combat skills. Escaped on Black Diamond, where she was hunted down and squashed.

The Black Diamond Creatures

Yeti: A dance troupe of perhaps a dozen yeti, friends to ThatWeirdGirl.
Windmill Giants: A few shrunken giants, including Rat’s friend Wendel.

Mechanical, Natural, and Magical Servants, Friends, and Pets of the Sereni-Tree

Aluminum: TRM’s white horse, for when he’s playing at being Sheriff of Serenity County.
Attack Bunnies: Archie and Esme, pets or companions of Seryn.
Automops: A modern convenience devised by Mai.
Baby3000: The robotic “practice baby” acquired by Serenity and Soul.
The Black Ribbon: MontanaGirl’s magical protective black ribbon kept in a glass of Pepsi.
Blue Fishies: Pets of Bluefishie.
Cats: PsychicRiver’s cat Annabelle and Mai’s cats.
Dale, the Intimidator Ferret: Montanagirl’s friend, who takes revenge on those who disparage NASCAR.
DRDs: An unknown number of Diagnostic Repair Drones, presumably built by TGJ.
Duck: A large white duck.
The Ebo Golem: The Effigy of Ebo, magically animated by TRM to replace Sparky.
Frederick the Dinosaur: A pet dinosaur picked up in the Land of the Lost by Mai during Mai-Quest1.
Kissies: Numerous pokemon-ish emoticon creatures which spread affection everywhere; also they have medicinal properties..
MollytheParrot: A cute creature cloned from Cozen’s one-time mouthpiece, Black Jack Silver.
Nugget, the Meteor Troll: Emma’s friend, a large and brutish creature with some affection for TRM.
Piffleponies: Everyone wants a pifflepony, deep down. Piffleponies include: Patience, Prudence, Penitence, Ororo, two mothers, four foals, among others.
The Pillow CageyBee: The golem created by CageyBee of fabric and stuffing; not seen lately.
Schwartz the Llama: Cozen’s pet or companion.
Shadow: NoSkillz's tiger companion.
Sparky: The Mechana-Cabana-Boy 3000; much repaired, rarely working robot of TRM.

TheRealMe, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

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Monday, January 30, 2006 7:14 PM

Well, since we have acquired a lot of new folks lately, I think it might be worthwhile to go through a list of job openings that we might have on the Sereni-Tree.

Newcomer KellyOfLuthien has taken on the task of Ship’s Cook, much to our glee. It is possible that she could use an assistant, or perhaps we could add a Ship’s Baker or a Ship’s Brewer.

With the triumphant return of SoulOfSerenity from the dead, we are no longer lacking a Security Chief. However, since all four Zoe-clones dissolved a number of threads ago, he has been looking for Security deputies. So far, it seems that he has picked PsychicRiver, N0Skillz, and the latter’s tiger, Shadow.

While our Engineer TheGreyJedi, and his assistants Needleseye and Jet (Bride4) have the ship’s engineering and technomagic machines well under control, we have lacked a handyman (handyperson?) for simple and mundane repairs to our furnishings since the departure of ManiacNumberOne. SafeAt2nd seems to have some experience along these lines, but I’m not sure if he’s interested in the job.

While Static is a most capable Pilot, he is not always around and sometimes gets distracted when he is. We could use an Assistant Pilot.

We have lacked an official Ship’s Navigator. I have usually filled that role, which might help to explain our aimless wanderings to date. We might also need an Assistant Navigator.

While Rat is our Acquisitions Officer who will purchace goods of various sorts, we are lacking a Cargomaster to organize and store them in our voluminous cargo holds.

While SimonWho is the ship’s Doctor and Montanagirl is the ship’s Vet, we do not have a ship’s Counsellor / Therapist to handle the more loopy members of our crew.

In addition to the Pilot’s twin-linked plasma cannons mounted under the Bridge, we have a plasma cannon turret opposite the Bridge, and both a dorsal and ventral quad-laser gunnery turret. On the roof, I believe that we still have the “Mighty and Righteous Trebuchet, Hellacious Armament” aka MaRTHA. These four positions could use regular Gunners. On the other hand, it’s always a good idea to leave something for Ebonezer to shoot, if she’s around.

We have never had a specialized Sensor Operator or a Communications Operator before. Ususally, one of us has taken on that role in addition to our regular job.

The shuttles General Lee and Admiral Nelson have their regular pilots (Rat and ThatWeirdGirl, respectively). The General Grant was recently destroyed on Boros. But the Napoleon Bonaparte is lacking a regular pilot. In fact, I don’t believe it has every been flown since it was used to evacuate some folks from the Adelai Niska. If I’m not mistaken we also have a stolen Alliance fighter that someone could pilot (I don’t recall if TheGreyJedi ever cannibalized it into something else).

Between the “This Land” park on the third floor of the North Wing and the Pifflepony ranch in the cargo bay, we could perhaps use some animal handlers or gardeners. Wait, Serenity is already the ship’s Gardener.

If anyone should have an interest in any of these positions, please apply in person outside the First Officer’s office during my regular office hours of 13:04 – 13:07 Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. In the event that we have multiple applicants for some position, the officers will devise some fair method to pick the best candidate. Uh… Arm-wrestling contests, perhaps?

TheRealMe, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

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Monday, January 30, 2006 7:30 PM

Quote:
ItsAWash wrote:
"OH! (she yells!) Before we move along, I could stand to hear some more about SimonWho and Who(m) he owes an explanation to!"

Well, long ago, when the Sereni-Tree was merely a tree house (Thread 4), our fearless leader Ebonezer led us in the Three Switches War. We attacked a thread that was droning on about what the three switches above Wash's head do. Ebo, ThatWeirdGirl, PsychicRiver and myself (among others) went over there with rubber-band guns, squirt guns, knitting needles, and the like. Our banner-bearer Shw brought our flag (yes, we have a flag!).

This thread was defended almost singlehandedly by a resourceful and clever opponent, one SimonWho, who grabbed our flag! The climax of the conflict was a "Simon vs Kaylee" contest between SimonWho and ThatWeirdGirl. TWG won our flag back, but was made to cry.

But we made peace and TWG invited SimonWho to join us, and he has been our doctor ever since.

Oddly, soon after the Three Switches War (Thread 5) PsychicRiver was kidnapped back to the Three Switches thread and had to be rescued.

SimonWho has a blue box that lets him travel through space and time, and I have always guessed that he is from our future. Apparently, some time in the future, he and ThatWeirdGirl will have a child that will grow up into PsychicRiver.

But the thing that I want to know is, if SimonWho and ThatWeirdGirl decide right now to have nothing to do with one another, will PsychicRiver disappear?

TheRealMe, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

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Monday, January 30, 2006 7:36 PM

Quote:
While SimonWho is the ship’s Doctor and Montanagirl is the ship’s Vet, we do not have a ship’s Counsellor / Therapist to handle the more loopy members of our crew.

Wouldn't that list of the loopy include everyone here? Cause if there's someone sane here I'd like you to point them out. I've never seen one before.

Mai, Secretary of Unmentionables.
http://iammai2.livejournal.com

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Monday, January 30, 2006 7:42 PM

The key part of that phrase is "MORE loopy".

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Monday, January 30, 2006 8:17 PM

Did someone say picnic? Sounds like a great idea. In fact, if everyone's interested we could settle down in that grassy area over there.

*walks over and opens the bark of a tree pushing buttons until they light up. several picnic tables spring up from hidden grates in the floor*

We can even have food delivered up from the kitchen by the aut-0-feed system. Who's hungry?

Mai, Secretary of Unmentionables.
http://iammai2.livejournal.com

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Monday, January 30, 2006 8:42 PM

LIGHTMEDARK

*elemdee's stomach emits a loud gurgling

Uh, I guess my stomach just decided for me, heh.

Oh, and I submit myself as a pilot, therapist, or animal handler. They're all the same thing, really. You're guiding something where you want it to go. Or I could just wander around...that works for me, too.

---
http://www.xffx.net/blog <-inching towards daylight

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Monday, January 30, 2006 9:48 PM

Motions for the lovely ladies to move forward with him, and quickly, quietly takes a few steps back and spins on his heel. Returns to the zoo. Here he slumps against the wall and drops to a sitting position. Pulls out Jacks bottle of rum tips it up and drains it into his gut. Replaces the bottle and slumps over, waiting patiently to be eaten by the friendly Frederick the dinosaur.*

Now see, the thing is: Before I climbed aboard this here 'Tree not more'n a few days back, I went and saw Brokeback Mountain. And this here scene with Mr. Jade of the Hand? It fairly shrieks of the part where Ennis slumps down in the alley and grieves over what might be lost love. Anybody else see the comparison?

Seryn? He's all yours, Honey. And he needs some comfort, neh?

*Wash out.

Pic courtesy of KellyofLuthien

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Monday, January 30, 2006 9:50 PM

Since she likes older men anyhow, and because he looks kinda lonely, Washie slips quietly up to cozen and blows in his ear. Just a little.

Pic courtesy of KellyofLuthien

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Monday, January 30, 2006 9:59 PM

The curious newcomer thanks you for the thorough and most welcome run-down. Also for the thoughtful alphabetizing. Most well-done, TRM.

Pic courtesy of KellyofLuthien

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Monday, January 30, 2006 10:10 PM

**we do not have a ship’s Counsellor / Therapist to handle the more loopy members of our crew. >>

Abandoning the tour, fascinating though the first stop on it has been, ItsaWash slings her backpack over one shoulder and follows the signs to the First Officer's Office. Knowing she is here on the wrong date and time, she nevertheless unrolls her sleeping bag, the one with the laser-tag logos all over it, and sits down to prepare for sleep. She figures she'll be first in line for the Ship's Counselor job.

Whenever the First Officer shows up, she is gorram sure she has what it takes to convince him she's the woman for the position.

Taking out her soft boar bristle brush, she gives her 53 inches of blonde/brown hair the requisite 100 strokes. Snuggling in the makeshift bunk now, hair safely spread behind her along the wall of the corridor, Washie says a short prayer full of hope for a new job and fades into the arms of Morpheus, god of sleep.

Pic courtesy of KellyofLuthien

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Monday, January 30, 2006 11:09 PM

Ooo, cast list! take out pad and begins scribbling names down, then stashes the list and wonders where she can find pink paper...

Oh, piloting sounds like lots of fun.. The Napolean Bonaparte, hmmmm... oh, have to see if I can nab that job. Animal handling sounded good as well, i've done that before... of course, 90% of animal husbandry is poo scooping *thinks of Frederick* Maybe if no one else volunteers...

*listens to Washie*

*blinks*

Awww, crap! double crap and blast.

Looks at the picnic area, then whole thing about leaving things and they just get worse.

*Sneaks off to find JadeHand*

finds him in the corridor, slumped around a bottle of rum.

*takes the bottle away*

Are you upset?

I'm sorry, I really thought that she was into you, I mean I'd never shower with anyone unless I meant business,*ponders* guess showers don't mean as much to everyone else. But no need to be sad eh?
Plenty of other womenfolk around.
I'll take you out on the pull if you like, i'm good at the whole 'my mate fancies your mate' thing, got soooo much practice in high school, you would not believe...

And well.... *leans over and gives Jadehand a hug -with about as much natural hugging finess as you average ironing board - but a hug nonetheless*

There there *pats back* um, there there?

-------------------------------------------
"She's a mite whimsical in the brainpan."
Xander: "Hi, for those of you who just tuned in, everyone here is a crazy person." *grin*

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Monday, January 30, 2006 11:24 PM

PSYCHICRIVER

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:
*twg steps forward and picks up the tricorder from the floor. Thought so. She leans against the wall and slides down to sit next to him, shoulder to shoulder*

Breathe, Simon.

*she intertwines her fingers with his and gently holds his hand*

I know it’s a bit of a surprise, but it doesn’t mean we have to do anything today or even tomorrow. I…*she looks away for a moment to catch her breath*…I knew there was reason I asked you to join us *she smiles at him and he tries to smile back* Whenever this happens, it will be because we both want it to happen. It will be because we love each other and we want a son…17 or 30 years from now…no need to jump into anything this second…

*she looks up to find him staring at her*

…unless you want to….but we don’t have to. *she smiles at him. He is breathing normally once more* I baked some pie. Simon, would you like some cream pie?

*PR had got most of the conversation between TWG and SW when he was in the common room. He now knows and understands that SW is his father.*

*PR was wondering the ship when he spied SW & TWG walking towards him holding hands. They seem to be on there way to the kitchen. PR smiles.*

Hey guys. *He says, he smiles knowingly at the pair of them before turning and walking off down the corridor.*

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."

"We'll take care of each other. I'll knit!"
"I swallowed a bug."

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Tuesday, January 31, 2006 3:14 AM

*stirs at the sound of TRM requesting a brewmaster for the Sereni-Tree. A sly grin crosses his face as he thinks.."perfect, I best apply." Watches and listens as it seems Washie completely understands what's going on, another grin/grimace crosses his face. Watches as Seryn Blinks as if she understands, then eagerly listens as she shows that she does not. He scoops up the now empty bottle and places it in the holster on his left hip.*

"Out on the pull"? I don't know what that means. So, you're good at recognizing who fancies who eh? Lots o practice at it eh?

*pulls himself up to one knee, takes Seryn's right hand in his as if he needs help standing, and places a gentle kiss on her hand right between the index and middle finger where the fingers meet the back of the hand.*

Thanks, love but I think I better go find my quarters and have another shower.

*Stands and wanders off. As he walks down the empty hallways, he pulls out his full name pad and scribbles "Black Jack Rackham", peals the sticker and slaps it over the "JadeHand" tag. his hair grows longer and an eyepatch appears over one eye, shoes become black leather boots, and most importantly a bottle becomes full*

Arrrrr! Where's me bloody room?

* Finds an unoccupied room, goes in and pulls off the nametag, returning to JadeHand. He places all his clothing in a corner, drinks a good portion of the now full bottle, then climbs into the shower. and somehow finds his head filled with a song.*

".....We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year...."

Visit WWW.Marillion.Com for a better way to live
"He's seen too much of life And there's no going back.
The loneliness calls him, And the edge which must be sharpened,
He's losing it. And he knows.
But there's a fighter in his mind and his body's tough
The years have been unkind, but kind enough." -Ocean Cloud (Marbles) -Marillion

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Tuesday, January 31, 2006 4:08 AM