An Alternative Energy Source by Succatash

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An Alternative Energy Source

POSTED BY: SUCCATASH
UPDATED: Saturday, September 6, 2003 18:26
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Friday, September 5, 2003 4:41 PM

I was thinking of the recent Blackout and how we need to come up with additional sources for energy before the world uses up all its resources. I think I've got a good idea!

TREADMILLS! Yep, treadmills, the world is full of them. There are millions of gyms and exercise rooms full of treadmills, and all day long people run on them.

We need to harness all that energy!

Instead of paying to join a health club, they pay you to run on the treadmill! Chubby Americans can get tax cuts for running on a treadmill and producing energy. We would all become very healthy.

It shouldn't be too hard to wire every treadmill into some kind of battery. I say, let's do it!

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Friday, September 5, 2003 5:01 PM

KAYTHRYN

But Americans are pretty damn lazy. I'm afraid I'd be stuck hand writing letters to you browncoats by candle light. And then there would be rise in stamp prices, paper cuts and house fires. How would we be able to watch FF then? We'd all be broke, bleeding, burned, or sitting in the dark.

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It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
Aristotle

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Friday, September 5, 2003 5:11 PM

SUCCATASH

I have to disagree with you Kaythryn. Many Americans work out regularly and "going to the gym" is a very popular thing to do. Thousands, millions do it.

This idea could save California, with all the Hollywood fitness going on. Imagine the energy!

Anti-treadmill folks, like you and me, wouldn't HAVE to do it, but for a tax cut, a lot of people may decide to get healthy.

I'm writing a letter to someone about this immediately.

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Friday, September 5, 2003 5:26 PM

VETERAN

Don't squat with your spurs on.

Checked my calendar, to make sure it's not April first. Seriously, I've seen television spots where people have hooked up stationary bikes to generators to charge batteries which provide power for TV sets. And one of the high end gadget shops has a pedal power device for your computer. Anyway, I checked a the internet and found a link with a good diagram and photos of a working model:

http://myweb.cableone.net/adamsmed2/page6.html

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Friday, September 5, 2003 7:28 PM

SERGEANTX

Its always April 1st where Succatash lives!

SergeantX

"..and here's to all the dreamers, may our open hearts find rest." -- Nanci Griffith

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Friday, September 5, 2003 7:33 PM

SUCCATASH

The only thing more important than my "Treadmill" theory is Haken's "Catch the Lightning" theory he's been working on. We'll keep everyone posted. Just don't forget that you heard it first on FFF.

Veteran, that's a cool link. Thanks. It's all just a little too easy....

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Friday, September 5, 2003 8:07 PM

SUCCATASH

Oh, by the way, how do you think Haken lost all his hair? It wasn't naturally, I assure you. It was his dangerous theory.

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Friday, September 5, 2003 10:39 PM

DRAKON

It is my understanding that the problem was not the fact there was no energy. The problem was the distribution of it got screwed up. As I recall, the grid was only at about 80 percent capacity when the lights went out.

"my kind of stupid"

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Friday, September 5, 2003 10:52 PM

MANIACNUMBERONE

I bet the whole blackout was all the fault of some dumbass who forgot to push a button because he fell asleep on the job.

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Saturday, September 6, 2003 12:10 AM

TRAGICSTORY

Do any of you guys read ubersoft? Besides being on of the funniest webcomcs out there, there was a REALLY eire coincidence (sp?) between the comic and the black out!

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"Societies are supported by human activity, therefore they are constantly threatened by the human facts of self-intrest and stupidity." --Peter Berger

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Saturday, September 6, 2003 2:40 AM

CALHOUN

WOW!

I just had an epithany!

What about condoms with electromagnetic properties? The in/out cycle of intercourse or masturbation etc could very well generate POWER!

~Save the planet by having sex~

I'm prepared to do my part!

I'm thinkin this notion has merit.

concensus?

Jayne - "I like smackin'em"

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Saturday, September 6, 2003 6:04 AM

TRAGICSTORY

But friction + sex = CHAFFING

Chaffing sucks almost as bad as rug burn. IMHO, the best energy source is geothermal since it doesn't screw up as much things as the other ones do.

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"Societies are supported by human activity, therefore they are constantly threatened by the human facts of self-intrest and stupidity." --Peter Berger

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Saturday, September 6, 2003 6:16 AM

SARAHETC

Quote:
Originally posted by TragicStory:
But friction + sex = CHAFFING Chaffing sucks almost as bad as rug burn.

That's where the AstroGlide comes in. It's like WD-40 for your privates.

As someone who should be on the treadmills for energy plan, I'd rather have sex.

I'm a dying breed who still believes, haunted by American dreams. ---Neko Case

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Saturday, September 6, 2003 2:21 PM

TRAGICSTORY

Quote:
Originally posted by Sarahetc:
Quote:
Originally posted by TragicStory:
But friction + sex = CHAFFING Chaffing sucks almost as bad as rug burn.

That's where the AstroGlide comes in. It's like WD-40 for your privates.
Quote:

Yes, but no friction = no energy... I guess that is why most people have sex in the dark!

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"Societies are supported by human activity, therefore they are constantly threatened by the human facts of self-intrest and stupidity." --Peter Berger

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Saturday, September 6, 2003 2:54 PM

SUCCATASH

Well, I've got the Condom Power idea working. Oh boy, this is going to be great!

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Saturday, September 6, 2003 3:41 PM

RITA

i can't believe you just wrote this i am wicked earthy crunchy and went to bed thinking about the pollution due to the effluence from factorie producing solar panels and was considering the benefits vs. detriments and i kept thinking about the use of kinetic energy as well of course i since i was thinking on it until i fell asleep i had the weirdest most involved dream that i was working out running in fact on a tread mill listening to my CD walkman and as i ran the batteries recharged and then i log on to see what buffy fans are saying and i see this well gosh did i chuckle

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Saturday, September 6, 2003 4:21 PM

KAYTHRYN

Oh no, Tash has worked his way into Browncoats dreams! The only problem I have with the sex=power scenario is... well, wont the power cord get in the way or get tangled in or around... stuff, during sex?

-------------------------------------
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
Aristotle

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Saturday, September 6, 2003 5:11 PM

SARAHETC

Quote:
Originally posted by Kaythryn:
Oh no, Tash has worked his way into Browncoats dreams! The only problem I have with the sex=power scenario is... well, wont the power cord get in the way or get tangled in or around... stuff, during sex?

What she said. Plus, that condom is really huge. I think Succatash has a secret and I'd just like to be the first to say: damn.

Sarah

I'm a dying breed who still believes, haunted by American dreams. ---Neko Case

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Saturday, September 6, 2003 6:26 PM

CALHOUN

LOL Succatash,

That picture creation is very close to what I had in mind. Its great to be taken seriously for a change.

It should be possible to plug the wires into your house power sockets and feed power directly back into the grid. Just gotta figure out how to avoid electrofrying my man parts..although that could be fun too :)

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