Television vs real life by SerenityValley

TALK STORY

Television vs real life

POSTED BY: SERENITYVALLEY
UPDATED: Friday, October 24, 2003 18:07
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Friday, September 26, 2003 2:15 PM

I'm writing a story for my Creative Writing Class. For it, I need to know what happens in TV shows that doesn't happen in reality. And Reality Shows don't count. Also, I don't mean fictional stuff like "you can't time travel in real life"

In case you don't know what I mean, here's my list so far. I still need more, so if you could help me out with anything you can think of, that would be great!

Beginning and ending credits
Commercials
Reruns
People stand really close together
They all eat on the same side of the table
They don't interupt or talk over each other
Sometimes you can hear their thoughts
Ideas are well-worded and thought-out
People understand each other faster
Everything happens faster
There are supporting characters and lead ones
Everyone has the same frame of referece
Decisions are made faster - accomplish more
Doesn't show walking and driving to places
Something is always happening, variety
No redundant characters
Everyone looks great unless they are a characture of someone who doesn't
Everything is well lit, even in dark
Background music
Scripts
Cliches
Laugh track, cheering when people walk in
Extra dramatic

Thanks!

http://www.simple-assault.com/Firefly.htm

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Friday, September 26, 2003 2:52 PM

RHUTTNER

Characters rarely make a mistake while talking or say 'um'.

Characters rarely have to go to the bathroom.

Characters rarely trip or stumble.

If something happens at place A, characters do not talk about it until walking through the door at place B. Example, kid is arrested, parent picks kid up from jail, they arrive home, walk in the door, kid starts 'But dad, I didnt do anything'. So they said nothing at all in the car from the jail to the house.

Major life events happen around the same time every year (season finales).

Usually no 2 characters have the same first name.

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Friday, September 26, 2003 2:56 PM

SERENITYVALLEY

hey, those are all great ones. Thanks. Anyone else?

http://www.simple-assault.com/Firefly.htm

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Friday, September 26, 2003 3:04 PM

KAYTHRYN

No one goes to the bathroom unless it has a reason, ex: because a bathroom joke is coming, or they are needed out of the room so they can be talked about.

No one experiences dull moments.

People hardly ever blink.

Noses don’t get red and drippy when people cry.

Captions.

Camera views are from your perspective, but are lacking peripheral vision.

People have money, but don't really do work.

There is never any bad weather unless it fits into the plot, ex-- characters are sad and it rains, they need to make love, they get snowed in.

(mostly in soaps) If a person needs to say something, ex-- “I’m pregnant with your baby!” they wont just blurt it out, they’ll allow someone to interrupt them, or they’ll wait until after a phone call, then end up not saying it.

-------------------------------------
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
Aristotle

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Friday, September 26, 2003 3:05 PM

HAKEN

Likes to mess with stuffs.

In real life, everyone is a three dimensional character and everyone is a hero. On TV they're not.

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Friday, September 26, 2003 3:06 PM

HAKEN

Likes to mess with stuffs.

In real life, problems and solutions are vastly more complicated.

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Friday, September 26, 2003 3:46 PM

RHUTTNER

Telemarketers never call during dinner

Structural changes when the plot calls for it (the ladder Early climbed down in OiS was not always there)

Characters rarely ever wear the same clothes again. (not true on Firefly but FF is more an exception than a rule)

Relatives that never existed before suddenly exist

Relatives and good friends that do exist don't appear at weddings and parties, instead there are lots of people we've never seen before.

Interior of a building does not match the exterior

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Friday, September 26, 2003 8:54 PM

MAKEROFPATHS

Characters don't speak when spoken to because if they did they'd have to get paid more.

Every car stops with a screech

Every car stops exactly in front of the target location and there's always a parking spot.

Every car ccorners with a screech (this is actually slower than quieter cornering . . . I can explain race tech on request)

Safety belts are done up/undone depending on camera angle.

Every car is rear wheel drive.

Every short person is tall. Entire cast is same height.

Everyone faces the person s/he is talking to.

That's all for now.

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Friday, September 26, 2003 10:58 PM

DRAKON

This reminds me of something that David Gerrold said once about television writing. You have a minor climax jsut before the commerical.

Back in his day (he wrote "The Trouble with Tribbles" for STOS) there were 4 commerical breaks. Teaser, (comm) Act1 (comm) etc. and epilogue after the final climax in act four.

Life just kinda flows along. Without those commercial breaks, we don't get minor conflicts that are resolved right after the commercials and a major one every hour.

Also villians are not as nasty or as smart in real life. Thank God!

"Wash, where is my damn spaceship?"

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Saturday, September 27, 2003 4:04 AM

SERENITYVALLEY

Thanks everybody! That was really helpful. I'm going to start working on the story this morning. I also remembered: Computers always make a beeping noise when you type on them in TV shows.

http://www.simple-assault.com/Firefly.htm

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Saturday, September 27, 2003 5:56 AM

RHUTTNER

Quote:
Originally posted by SerenityValley:
Thanks everybody! That was really helpful. I'm going to start working on the story this morning. I also remembered: Computers always make a beeping noise when you type on them in TV shows.

Computers!!! How could I have forgotten:

You don't turn a computer on by pressing the keyboard, and they don't take 2 seconds to start.

Most of the things you see on computer screens on TV are not real computer programs and they don't have the right look for real operating systems.

You rarely see anyone use a mouse (or even have one), even when the program is graphical.

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Sunday, September 28, 2003 7:50 AM

CAPTBAGGYTROUSERS

Sorry I got to this thread late. It seems like you got almost all of them. I do have three more:

People on TV rarely end their telephone conversations with "goodybe," they just hang up.

Visitors to someone's house will almost immediately take several giant steps into the living room the moment the door is opened.

And

When entering a room, almost no one shuts a door behind them(unless it's the front door).

History repeats the old conceits

http://topshelftvshow.com
Updated! Improved! Shiny!

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Sunday, September 28, 2003 7:55 AM

RHUTTNER

Quote:

Visitors to someone's house will almost immediately take several giant steps into the living room the moment the door is opened.

Gorramit doors!!!!! Another obvious one I forgot.

People rarely lock their doors on TV. Or knock before opening the door.

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Sunday, September 28, 2003 10:47 AM

FFYING2

Quote:
Originally posted by CaptBaggytrousers:

People on TV rarely end their telephone conversations with "goodybe," they just hang up.

Ah, you beat me to that one, Cappy. Well, here's another:

TV people often park facing the wrong direction and rarely park across the street from the house.

Instead of pulling over to the right (in America) or making a 3-point turn to change direction, they illegally drive their cars across the opposite direction of traffic to park facing the wrong direction. (Of course, there are some real people who do this, too.)

I guess directors prefer to see the car moving into frame from left to right from right of frame and parking directly in front of the house.

Ying/
Firefly Funsite
NEW URL - http://fireflyfunsite.home.att.net

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Sunday, September 28, 2003 10:47 AM

FFYING2

Sorry for the triple post. I thought my Pop-Up blocker was overdoing it again. But I guess the site is just a little slow right now.

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Sunday, September 28, 2003 10:48 AM

FFYING2

Sorry.

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Sunday, September 28, 2003 2:49 PM

WHOODAHN

This one is a stretch,

Animals talk and people understand them.

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Sunday, September 28, 2003 3:17 PM

VETERAN

Don't squat with your spurs on.

People get knocked out too easily.

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Sunday, September 28, 2003 3:22 PM

KAYTHRYN

You can hit a no named actor once and they're down for the count, but the baddie needs to be beaten to a pulp before he's out of the picture.

-------------------------------------
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
Aristotle

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Sunday, September 28, 2003 4:22 PM

SUCCATASH

In real life, there would have been babies born on Gilligan's Island.

Maryann......

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Sunday, September 28, 2003 4:27 PM

VETERAN

Don't squat with your spurs on.

Maybe The Professor would have manufactured birth control pills out of some exotic plant found on the island.

But you're onto something. Major Nelson would have been all over Jeannie, that is if Roger hadn't beaten him to her.

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Monday, September 29, 2003 6:00 AM

FLYFIREFLY

Wow , on the Firefly forum no has come to the subject of weapons yet !

Here's my two bits :

1. Nobody aims when firing a weapon.

2. Magazines are replaced for dramatic purposes and not for replenishing bullets.

3. It takes just one bulet to kill regular bad guys while Evil boses and Heros can take lots of punishment .

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Monday, September 29, 2003 6:24 AM

STILLSHINY

Smart & witty quips in response to arguments, (ie: just about anything on the WB) don't usually shut an argument down, or get a laugh.

They usually result in a greater argument or a stupid look.

That's if....you can think of something witty & smart when you are arguing.

Mal: “See how I'm not punching him? I think I've grown!”

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Monday, September 29, 2003 7:28 AM

BARNEYT

Up until a couple of years ago I would have answered this question with

On TV people always walk into rooms without switching the lights on.

But I've recently discovered that normal people do that too! Just not me...

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Monday, September 29, 2003 6:44 PM

LERXST

The gatling guns on modern jet fighters and helicopters have an "ack-ack" sound instead of buzzing (the only exception I've seen is in "Blackhawk Down").

Handgun and rifle shots never sound real either.

Cars exploding when you shoot the gas tank. That's hard to do even if you're using incendiary rounds.

People open car doors at night and the dome light never comes on.

Cars leaping into the air and coming down hard enough to break the axles, and they just keep on going.

______________________________________________________
"Say that to my face."
"I said: you're a coward, and a piss-pot. Now, what are you gonna do about it?"
"Nothin'. I just wanted you to face me so that she could get behind you."
*WHAP!*

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Tuesday, September 30, 2003 2:57 AM

JOHNNYREB

1. In TV, when people get shot by a low caliber round, they fly backwards in a huge arc.
2. In TV, Heroes don't freak and get emotional when they are forced to take another life. They just take it in stride.
3. In real life, "heroes" usually don't joke around and get all funny (when they've never been funny before) after they've killed someone. "Get the point," after someone is impaled. "Don't loose your head," after someone is decapitated, etc.

Fox sucks! Viva Firefly!

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Thursday, October 23, 2003 3:26 PM

DUTCH

On TV, people order food in restaurants but hardly ever eat it.

On TV, classes only take 5 minutes.

On TV, everyone always wears make-up everywhere.. even getting out of bed.

On TV, beautiful women in mini skirts make the best lawyers.

On TV, people rarely wear the same clothes twice, unless they help define the person in which case they always wear the same clothes. (Columbo, Superman)

On TV, MacIntosh computers are completely compatible with any alien species computer system.

On TV, all evil masterminds are completely invulnerable except for 1 little known weak spot.

On TV, all species of animals can talk to eachother and understand human speach, but humans can't understand animals. Same goes for babies.

I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image.
--Stephen Hawking

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Friday, October 24, 2003 6:07 PM

CALDEEN

On TV people shot with any gun fly back in a big arc.
On TV people who are shot rarely bleed more than a few drops. And thre is rarely any brains or intestines lying around.
On TV firearms with no hammer make cocking noises when you point them at someone.
On TV people with guns wait for a dramatic moment before pumping a shotgun to load or reload the chamber.
On TV a doctor is better at intubeating people in an awkward position than Paramedics. (This is what turned me off of ER.)
On TV people who are reciving oxygen get the nose tubes rather than a mask.
On TV cops test cocaine by eating some!!
On TV a chopper can crash and explode and the crew runs out unharmed. (Killed A-Team for me.)

They don't like it when you shoot at them. Worked that out for myself.

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