TALK STORY

Thirty-Fourth Floor: Strays Welcome

POSTED BY: LIGHTMEDARK
UPDATED: Thursday, December 21, 2006 14:26
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 8549
PAGE 1 of 4

Sunday, December 3, 2006 12:13 PM

LIGHTMEDARK


index thread/elevator:
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=11&t=22396

back to simple floor numbering so as to give the strays a chance to find us.

strays? i don't know...you're guess is as good as(or better than) mine.

NOTIFY: N   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Sunday, December 3, 2006 1:19 PM

SERYN


*does the dance of firsty - ness*



wheeeee!

Isn't sanity really a one trick pony, anyway? I mean all you get is one trick, rational thinking! But when you're good and crazy...ooh hoo hoo hoo... the skys the limit!
http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Sunday, December 3, 2006 1:46 PM

DAVESHAYNE


And just in time.

*dave celebrates Bears clinching firstness*

And in an uterly unrelated note, Unibrue is the reason that Canada cannot afford to lose Quebec. Troi Pistoles is some majorly wonderfull beer type alchohol.

David

"Not completely as well as the series of Firefly..." - From a review of Serenity at amazon.de

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Sunday, December 3, 2006 2:12 PM

SERYN


Interesting...

Does Canada stand a good chance of loosing Quebec? Cause, you know, whenever I loose something, I look down the back of the couch...

Isn't sanity really a one trick pony, anyway? I mean all you get is one trick, rational thinking! But when you're good and crazy...ooh hoo hoo hoo... the skys the limit!
http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Sunday, December 3, 2006 4:19 PM

JADEHAND


Love the Dancing Angel.
*looks down the back of the couch for things he's lost.*

"All these years
Truth In front of my eyes
While I denied
What my heart knows was right."
Neverland(Marbles)-Marillion
visit WWW.Marillion.com for a better way of life.



NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Sunday, December 3, 2006 4:41 PM

DAVESHAYNE


Quote:

Originally posted by seryn:
Interesting...

Does Canada stand a good chance of loosing Quebec? Cause, you know, whenever I loose something, I look down the back of the couch...



Not a great chance but seperatism is always a factor in Quebec politics to some degree or other. And yes I'm sure that under the cushions is the first place that Ottowa will look if BQ gets it's way.

David

"Not completely as well as the series of Firefly..." - From a review of Serenity at amazon.de

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Monday, December 4, 2006 3:28 AM

CALLMESERENITY


Quote:

Originally posted by seryn:
*does the dance of firsty - ness*



wheeeee!




Whoa. Dancing Angel is kinda freaky.

Serenity,
President of The Juggled Gosling Chatroom
Bride8

http://callmeserenity.livejournal.com/

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Monday, December 4, 2006 1:51 PM

DAVESHAYNE


Quote:

Originally posted by Jadehand:
*looks down the back of the couch for things he's lost.*



If you see my mind could you grab it for me? Not a big deal really. I lost the thing years ago and I haven't really missed it all that much.

David

"Not completely as well as the series of Firefly..." - From a review of Serenity at amazon.de

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Monday, December 4, 2006 6:52 PM

SCORPIONREGENT


Quote:

Originally posted by Jadehand:

*looks down the back of the couch for things he's lost.*











I lost my virginity on a piece of furniture, it never turned up again, no matter how hard I looked.

Scorpion Regent

NOTIFY: N   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Monday, December 4, 2006 8:36 PM

JADEHAND


Well, I lost my mind and my faith. Not really interested in finding them either. They always get in the way. Hold me back. Now I'm free, Free as a bird.... only without the wings, and stuck in a cage.


"All these years
Truth In front of my eyes
While I denied
What my heart knows was right."
Neverland(Marbles)-Marillion
visit WWW.Marillion.com for a better way of life.



NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Monday, December 4, 2006 11:40 PM

JADEHAND


Joss sums up life on Whedonesque:


Quote:


My life is complete. Except for the other things I want.

joss | September 06, 02:18 CET



"All these years
Truth In front of my eyes
While I denied
What my heart knows was right."
Neverland(Marbles)-Marillion
visit WWW.Marillion.com for a better way of life.



NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, December 5, 2006 12:11 AM

SERYN


I know exactly where my mind is.

Its elsewhare.

What i would like to find down the back of that couch are little things like, common sense, the meaning of life and possibly Lord Lucan. Oh, and spare change, always handy for the bus.

Isn't sanity really a one trick pony, anyway? I mean all you get is one trick, rational thinking! But when you're good and crazy...ooh hoo hoo hoo... the skys the limit!
http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, December 5, 2006 12:34 AM

JADEHAND


Quote:

Originally posted by seryn:
I know exactly where my mind is.

Its elsewhare.

What i would like to find down the back of that couch are little things like, common sense, the meaning of life and possibly Lord Lucan. Oh, and spare change, always handy for the bus.



Common sense, I've found, is exceptionally UN-common.
The meaning of life (42) changes everytime that you or someone close to you changes.
Lord Lucan..... can't help you there, though I was once known as Lord Duncan, AKA Ducan the drunken Dhai (pronounced "die")
Spare change......... you know.... I'm evil. I got so very tired of complete and utter gene trash asking me for spare change in Charlotte, that a completely evil thought was born into my head. Yes , my head is hell, and it spawns demons. A man had just asked me for money, and the thought "I'll give you a quater for your last shread of dignity." came to mind. I won't elaborate on the other details, they would only amuse me, and disgust everyone else.


"All these years
Truth In front of my eyes
While I denied
What my heart knows was right."
Neverland(Marbles)-Marillion
visit WWW.Marillion.com for a better way of life.



NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, December 5, 2006 4:12 AM

CALLMESERENITY


I find pens and pencils in the back of our couch.

In fact, one day I amused myself seeing how many errant pens and pencils I could find around the house. I found 12 before my hands were too full to hold anymore.



Serenity,
President of The Juggled Gosling Chatroom
Bride8

http://callmeserenity.livejournal.com/

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, December 5, 2006 8:33 AM

JADEHAND


Oh, can you come search the house where I work? It seems pens are consistantly going missing from there. Maybe one of the guys is hoarding them for some reason....
or maybe they other staff just put them down in odd places.

"All these years
Truth In front of my eyes
While I denied
What my heart knows was right."
Neverland(Marbles)-Marillion
visit WWW.Marillion.com for a better way of life.



NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, December 5, 2006 8:42 AM

DAVESHAYNE


Quote:

Originally posted by Jadehand:
It seems pens are consistantly going missing from there.



No big mystery there. They've all gone to the planet of the lost ball point pens. A planet where pens can live a life ideally suited to ball point life forms.

David

"Not completely as well as the series of Firefly..." - From a review of Serenity at amazon.de

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, December 5, 2006 8:49 AM

JADEHAND


Is that anything like the Quasipsuedoparaelemental Plane of Yoda robes, Where all the Yoda robes go to when Yoda dies?

"All these years
Truth In front of my eyes
While I denied
What my heart knows was right."
Neverland(Marbles)-Marillion
visit WWW.Marillion.com for a better way of life.



NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, December 5, 2006 8:57 AM

DAVESHAYNE


Quote:

Originally posted by Jadehand:
Is that anything like the Quasipsuedoparaelemental Plane of Yoda robes, Where all the Yoda robes go to when Yoda dies?



You'ld have to ask Zaphod. I've never been there myself but Beeblebrox knows the man who claims to have found it.

David

"Not completely as well as the series of Firefly..." - From a review of Serenity at amazon.de

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, December 5, 2006 9:30 AM

COZEN


Quote:

Originally posted by Jadehand:
Is that anything like the Quasipsuedoparaelemental Plane of Yoda robes, Where all the Yoda robes go to when Yoda dies?



I'd rather find my self on Breathed's Lost Planet Of Intoxicated Nurses, my ownself....

***

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, December 5, 2006 9:33 AM

COZEN


Also: Mai gorram rocks! I wonder: just what alchemical skills does she possess that allows her to suss the perfect gift, eh?

{editted, to post the pics}



***
cozenmaifan#1

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, December 5, 2006 9:49 AM

JADEHAND


She's exceptionally skilled at that. I miss Mai.


"All these years
Truth In front of my eyes
While I denied
What my heart knows was right."
Neverland(Marbles)-Marillion
visit WWW.Marillion.com for a better way of life.



NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Tuesday, December 5, 2006 10:54 AM

CALLMESERENITY


Those are awesome!

Mai does rock. You may have to fight me for the title of #1 Mai Fan.

Oh, and Breathed's Lost Planet of Intoxicated Nurses: you finally figured out where Nurse McLovely is from!

Serenity,
President of The Juggled Gosling Chatroom
Bride8

http://callmeserenity.livejournal.com/

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Wednesday, December 6, 2006 9:19 AM

JADEHAND


those are very nice. Well, just stopping by my the second of my favourite places to say, I may be out for a while due to tech issues. hope to return soon.


"All these years
Truth In front of my eyes
While I denied
What my heart knows was right."
Neverland(Marbles)-Marillion
visit WWW.Marillion.com for a better way of life.



NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Wednesday, December 6, 2006 9:48 AM

KAREL

Flying on duct tape and a damaged registry.


Quote:

Originally posted by LightMeDark:
index thread/elevator:
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=11&t=22396

back to simple floor numbering so as to give the strays a chance to find us.

strays? i don't know...you're guess is as good as(or better than) mine.


*makes a straynge post*

Cheers to all,
--Karel.

"Wondrous is our great blue ship that sails around the mighty sun and joy to everyone that rides along." -- Jeff Lynne, Electric Light Orchestra.

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Wednesday, December 6, 2006 10:09 AM

DAVESHAYNE


Quote:

Originally posted by Karel:

*makes a straynge post*



Well howdy straynge poster. What'll you have? Bars fully stocked. Or you could whip up some grub from the kitchen or find a nice place to curl up on the super-mega-comfy-floor which I'm sure I just saw them installing on this floor.

David

"Not completely as well as the series of Firefly..." - From a review of Serenity at amazon.de

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Wednesday, December 6, 2006 1:12 PM

LIGHTMEDARK


Quote:

Originally posted by Jadehand:
I may be out for a while due to tech issues. hope to return soon.




NOTIFY: N   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Wednesday, December 6, 2006 4:58 PM

KAREL

Flying on duct tape and a damaged registry.


Quote:

Originally posted by daveshayne:
Well howdy straynge poster. What'll you have? Bars fully stocked. Or you could whip up some grub from the kitchen or find a nice place to curl up on the super-mega-comfy-floor which I'm sure I just saw them installing on this floor.

David

"Not completely as well as the series of Firefly..." - From a review of Serenity at amazon.de


With enough Guinness, any floor is comfortable! *snort* Thanks. Lamb boxty?

*awaits the return of Jadehand*

--Karel.

"Wondrous is our great blue ship that sails around the mighty sun and joy to everyone that rides along." -- Jeff Lynne, Electric Light Orchestra.

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, December 7, 2006 5:13 AM

CALLMESERENITY


Well, while you're waiting for JadeHand to come back, I hope we can keep you entertained.



Serenity,
President of The Juggled Gosling Chatroom
Bride8

http://callmeserenity.livejournal.com/

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, December 7, 2006 5:27 AM

CITIZEN


You know we can't. We're so boring.



More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
No one can see their reflection in running water. It is only in still water that we can see.

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, December 7, 2006 5:36 AM

DAVESHAYNE


Quote:

Originally posted by citizen:
You know we can't. We're so boring.



Speak for yourself. I, personally, am excitement on grav boots.

*cue spy type music*

I'm afraid Von Fliegerunt that your jig is up. I know everything about the market in Cairo (Illinois - don't ask.) So why don't you give up and make it easy on yourself? No? You want to do this the hard way? Alright, I warned you!

*sneak, sneak, sneak, sneak* *run* *Von Fliegerunt expires loudly and painfully*

Now were were we The Lovely Miss Stunning Figure? Oh yes we were just about to sit down to a pitcher of margaritas on this conveniently located tropical island. I do hope you remembered to bring the salt.

*cue theme music and end credits*

David

"Not completely as well as the series of Firefly..." - From a review of Serenity at amazon.de

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, December 7, 2006 5:38 AM

CITIZEN


Erm, guys, it's happening again, can you get his medicine I'll hold him down.



More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
No one can see their reflection in running water. It is only in still water that we can see.

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, December 7, 2006 5:46 AM

DAVESHAYNE


Quote:

Originally posted by citizen:
I'll hold him down.



You can't hold me down! I'm made out of antigravitons.

David

"Not completely as well as the series of Firefly..." - From a review of Serenity at amazon.de

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, December 7, 2006 6:23 AM

CALLMESERENITY


HA HA HA!

That was wonderful, Dave!

Now can you do "Every Single Horror Movie Ever Made in 60 Seconds"? Please?

Serenity,
President of The Juggled Gosling Chatroom
Bride8

http://callmeserenity.livejournal.com/

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, December 7, 2006 11:21 AM

DAVESHAYNE


Quote:

Originally posted by CallMeSerenity:
"Every Single Horror Movie Ever Made in 60 Seconds"?



6 teenagers (The Jock, The Nerd, The Black Guy, The Cheerleader, The Unpopular Girl, and The Unpopular Girl's Annoying Younger Sister) are driving through a remote forest when their car breaks down. After arguing about who's fault it is for a while they decide to walk back to a gas station so they can call for help. On the way they see an old abandoned house by the side of the road. Since at that exact moment it starts to rain they decide to take shelter in the Creepy Old House In The Middle Of Nowhere.

*string instruments play dissonant chords*

The teenagers argue some more about who's fault it all is as they try to get a fire going in the fireplace and look about for some form of working plumbing. They split up to explore the house. The Unpopular Girl hears a noise in a room off the main hall and nervously opens the door to investigate. Something goes flying past her as she screams.

*string instruments play dissonant chords*

False alarm it was only a cat.

The Jock and The Cheerleader find a diary in a desk in one of the upstairs rooms and start reading it. It tells the story of how a midwife and her idiot son were accused of witchcraft and burned at the stake by the villagers and of her dieing curse to kill all who reside within the village forevermore.

*string instruments play dissonant chords*

Meanwhile The Black Guy gets the fire going while The Nerd gets water from a pump out back and The Annoying Little Sister is Annoying. The storm gets worse as night begins to fall.

*A lightning flash illuminates two figures in the woods and string instruments play dissonant chords*

The Jock produces a bottle of whiskey from somewhere and procedes to get The Cheerleader liquored up. The Nerd hits on The Unpopular Girl but even though she is unpopular she still has standards and isn't about to be caught swapping boddily fluids with a nerd in a creepy old house in a rainstorm. Which leaves The Black Guy to be Annoyed by The Annoying Little Sister untill he decides to get another pail of water from the pump out back.

*lightning. sounds of wind and rain. string instruments play dissonant chords*



The Black Guy is hit over the head with a shovel. He dies.

Inside The Nerd has stopped trying to sex up The Unpopular Girl and goes looking for a DSL line he can jack into so he can download some hot cheerleader pron. The Annoying Little Sister is sitting by the fire with her back to the door as somebody sneaks up behind her.

Boo, says The Nerd and The Annoying Little Sister jumps up to the ceiling and screams. Which covers the sound of The Cheerleader Screaming as The Jock is beheaded in front of her eyes by a shadowy figure that had crept in through the window.

The Unpopular Girl runs to see what's wrong with her Annoying Little Sister and finds her jibbering while The Nerd tries to comfort her in a totally innefectual way. Then The Cheerleader comes into the room covered in blood and faints.

When The Cheerleader comes to she tells the rest of the teenagers about The Midwife and Her Idiot Son and about seeing The Jock's head being forcibly removed. After which The Annoying Little Sister wonders where The Black Guy is since he really should have been back with the water by now.

*string instruments play dissonant chords*

The Nerd goes out back and discovers the body of The Black guy and turns to run back into the house. Too late as it happens as the figure of a woman looms out of the fog with a blunderbuss intent on aerating The Nerd's intestines. She succeeds.

At the sound of the antique gun firing The Cheerleader goes completely unhinged and runs out of the house, through the woods, and smack into a brick wall. The impact kills her immediately.

Back in the house The Unpopular Girl and her Annoying Little Sister baricade themselves in the front room and jump at even the slightest of sounds.

*string instruments play dissonant chords*

A sledgehammer strikes against the door battering the furniture placed in front of it to hold it shut as The Midwife's Idiot Son force his way into the room. The Unpopular Girl hides to the side of the door holding the poker from the fireplace and when The Idiot Son comes through she pounds his head into a bloody pulp.

Just as she begins to smile in triumph The Midwife comes through the window behind her and throws her to the ground. The Unpopular Girl asks The Midwife why she and her son have attacked them. The Midwife explains about being hated and reviled by The Villagers and the sweet feeling of revenge in killing them. "I'm like you," said The Unpopular Girl, "I know what it's like to be ostracized by everybody around me."

"Have you ever been tied to a tree and burned to death?" asked The Midwife. "No. Then you don't know how I feel." she says as she stabs The Unpopular Girl through the heart with a letter opener. Then The Midwife turns toward The Annoying Little Sister who is in a corner of the room jibbering. "And now it's your turn." The Midwife said as she raised the poker to deliver the killing blow just as the sun came up and her skin shrivelled off her bones which then proceeded to crumble to dust.

Some time later The Annoying Little Sister wearing a very fetching straightjacket is wheeled into an ambulance on a gurney to begin her journey to the hospital where she will spend the rest of her life screeming, jibbering, and not sitting in front of a fire.

In the front room of the creepy old house a figure stirs in the shadows as the sun goes down.

The End????

A bit longer than sixty seconds I'm afraid.






David

"Not completely as well as the series of Firefly..." - From a review of Serenity at amazon.de

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, December 7, 2006 11:28 AM

CALLMESERENITY


But still VERY good!

Yay!

Okay, now do Every Kung Fu Movie Ever Made in 60 seconds!!

(I could do this forever, so feel free to stop at anytime. You tell funny stories!)

Serenity,
President of The Juggled Gosling Chatroom
Bride8

http://callmeserenity.livejournal.com/

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, December 7, 2006 11:31 AM

CALLMESERENITY


Also, my 60 second obsession is inspired by this website, that amuses me muchly. http://www.rinkworks.com/bookaminute/classics.shtml


Favourite of all time: HAMLET!

Hamlet

Whine whine whine...To be or not to be...I'm dead.


THE END


Serenity,
President of The Juggled Gosling Chatroom
Bride8

http://callmeserenity.livejournal.com/

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, December 7, 2006 12:11 PM

JADEHAND


Quote:

Originally posted by LightMeDark:
Quote:

Originally posted by Jadehand:
I may be out for a while due to tech issues. hope to return soon.






Well, so much for Christmas. Bad news: Spent far too much fixing my system. Good News: It's fixed. Bad news: I'm Back. Good News: I'm still evil.


"All these years
Truth In front of my eyes
While I denied
What my heart knows was right."
Neverland(Marbles)-Marillion
visit WWW.Marillion.com for a better way of life.



NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, December 7, 2006 12:12 PM

JADEHAND


Quote:

Originally posted by Karel:

*awaits the return of Jadehand*

--Karel.



Await no more. I've returned.

"All these years
Truth In front of my eyes
While I denied
What my heart knows was right."
Neverland(Marbles)-Marillion
visit WWW.Marillion.com for a better way of life.



NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, December 7, 2006 1:41 PM

DAVESHAYNE


Quote:

Originally posted by CallMeSerenity:
But still VERY good!



Thanks. 'Twas but a trifle though.

Quote:

Okay, now do Every Kung Fu Movie Ever Made in 60 seconds!!


The Young Man Who Thinks He's The Greatest Martial Artist Alive is disowned by His Father The Renowned Martial Arts Master for a grievous breach of family honor (failing to fart during the pudding course maybe) and is thrown from his home and chased out of his village by his fathers students - individually no match for his skill, strength, and stamina but together sufficient to overmatch his prowess.

He wanders pennyless and alone untill he comes across an annoying old man sitting by the side of the road. Thinking to shut the old coot up The Young Man Who Thinks He's The Greatest Martial Artist Alive aims a distracted backhand slap at the old man who proceeds to beat him into the turf in a dazling display of martial acumen. The Old Man explains that he is the last surviving master of a form of martial art so brutally effective that there is no known defense against it.

Of course The Young Man Who Thinks He's The Greatest Martial Artist Alive absolutely must learn that style of fighting so he begs and pleads with The Old Man untill he relents and agrees to take him on as a student. The Young Man Who Thinks He's The Greatest Martial Artist Alive is set by his new master, The Old Man, to doing a variety of apparently mundane tasks in inneficient and uncomfortable ways. Moving water from one bucket to another using a demitasse cup held only with the ring and pinky fingers while balancing on a tight rope 10 feet off the ground to name one for instance.

After many humorous scenes involving this weird form of domestic drudgery and The Young Man Who Thinks He's The Greatest Martial Artist Alive's attempts to circumvent the onerous and tedious aspects of his duties and of course getting caught slacking off The Old Man explains how this was all very specific training in the techniques of the Most Brutally Effective Martial Art Style Of All Time Against Which There Is No Known Defense. After which he tells The Young Man Who Thinks He's The Greatest Martial Artist Alive that he has learned all he can from his master and must now walk the world to hone his skill.

Several years later The Young Man Who Thinks He's The Greatest Martial Artist Alive is ushered into a private meeting with The Head Of An Unnamed Intelligence Agency who explains that his particular services are reqiuired to infiltrate a Secret Society Of Martial Artists plotting to take over the world. He is given a flimsy cover story, a one way ticket to some city in the general vicinity of Asia, and the address of The Hidden Fortress of the Secret Society Of Martial Artists.

Of course you can't just walk into The Hidden Fortress of the Secret Society Of Martial Artists and ask to be shown to the office of it's Diabolical Leader. You have to beat up 20 or 30 flunkies first so The Young Man Who Thinks He's The Greatest Martial Artist Alive proceeds to pummel stuntman after stuntman while off screen the sound guy tenderizes a slab of Grade D meat for the crew's lunch.

Suitably impressed the Diabolical Leader invites The Young Man Who Thinks He's The Greatest Martial Artist Alive to partake in a tournament the winner of which will be invited to join the ranks of the Secret Society Of Martial Artists and the losers of which will be removed from the premises in body bags.

There is a five minute display of virtuosity in the use of nunchucks for no adequately explained reason at this point after which The Young Man Who Thinks He's The Greatest Martial Artist Alive sits down to dinner with the Diabolical Leader, the Diabolical Leader's young, beautifull, and deadly daughter, the Diabolical Leader's Favorite Henchman, and the other contestants in the tournament. Among them the Black American Special Forces Veteran, The All Germany Bare Fist Boxing Champion - very large and very nordic, and several others we are shown but who have no dialog. During the dinner we learn that the Black American Special Forces Veteran was dishonorably discharged and that is why he want's to join the Diabolical Leader's Secret Society Of Martial Artists plotting to take over the world, that The All Germany Bare Fist Boxing Champion could care less about taking over the world but couldn't pass up the opportunity to fight the greatest fighters in the world, and that the Diabolical Leader is diabolical.

The tournament ensues. More stuntmen are flung about the training grounds in humourously violent ways and more substandard cuts of meat are prepared untill only The Young Man Who Thinks He's The Greatest Martial Artist Alive, The Black American Special Forces Veteran, The All Germany Bare Fist Boxing Champion, and the last of the unnamed contestants remain in contention. That night The Diabolical Leader's Young, Beautifull, And Deadly Daughter visits the room of The Young Man Who Thinks He's The Greatest Martial Artist Alive to A) have sex with him and B) warn him that her diabolical father is planning to kill him by subterfuge tomorrow having discovered who he is and why he is here. She offers to help him escape but he will not leave without doing the job he was sent to do or leave behind his new friends The Black American Special Forces Veteran and The All Germany Bare Fist Boxing Champion to an almost certainly painfull and gruesome death.

The next day dawns and stuntmen line the field where the final matches of the tournament are set to take place. The first match pairing The Young Man Who Thinks He's The Greatest Martial Artist Alive against The Last Of The Unnamed Contestants. The Diabolical Leader nods Significantly to his Favorite Henchman who nods equally significantly back and adjusts his robes slightly so we see the blowdart pipe he is concealing there. The Greatest Martial Artist Alive nods significantly to The Diabolical Leader's Young, Beautifull, And Deadly Daughter who nods back to him as well as nodding to The Black American Special Forces Veteran and The All Germany Bare Fist Boxing Champion.

The fight commences and goes well for The Young Man Who Thinks He's The Greatest Martial Artist Alive untill The Diabolical Leader's Favorite Henchman brings the blowdart pipe to his lips and exhales forcefully. The dart flies toward The Young Man Who Thinks He's The Greatest Martial Artist Alive but is intercepted in midflight by the chest of The Diabolical Leader's Young, Beautifull, And Deadly Daughter who had jumped in front of the deadly projectile. Sadly for her the poison on the dart was just as deadly as she was.

Seeing that his plan has gone wrong the Diabolical leader orders the stuntmen to attack The Young Man Who Thinks He's The Greatest Martial Artist Alive en mass while he retreats to his inner sanctum guarded by his Favorite Henchman. Things would go badly for our hero except that The Black American Special Forces Veteran and The All Germany Bare Fist Boxing Champion take this opportunity to join the battle against the extras leaving The Young Man Who Thinks He's The Greatest Martial Artist Alive to pursue the Diabolical Leader through the Hidden Fortress. He encounters and defeats The Diabolical Leader's Favorite Henchman and then begins his battle against the Diabolocal Leader himself.

The Diabolical Leader has another surprise in store for The Young Man Who Thinks He's The Greatest Martial Artist Alive as he has managed to devise a defense against The Most Brutally Effective Martial Art Style Of All Time owing to the fact the he had been the previous student of The Old Man. Still The Young Man Who Thinks He's The Greatest Martial Artist Alive barely manages to survive the onslaught of his newly discovered nemesis and resorting to the oldest trick in the book, "Pick two, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck." killed the Diabolical Leader. Taking cold comfort in his revenge for the treachery of the poisoned dart.

The Young Man Who Now Knows He's The Greatest Martial Artist Alive takes leave of his new found but from now on life long friends and returns to his father's house performing the personally humiliating requirements to be re-admited to his family. Living in constant fear of The Next Young Man Who Thinks He's The Greatest Martial Artist Alive.

*credits roll*

David

"Not completely as well as the series of Firefly..." - From a review of Serenity at amazon.de

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, December 7, 2006 2:36 PM

LIGHTMEDARK


Quote:

Originally posted by Jadehand:
Await no more. I've returned.



teh Jade are returned! yaaaaaaaaaaay ;D

NOTIFY: N   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, December 7, 2006 2:44 PM

CITIZEN


I call foul! That was blatently a fusion of "Enter the Dragon" and the "Karate Kid". The Karate Kid is NOT a Kung Fu movie.

It's a Karate Movie



More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
No one can see their reflection in running water. It is only in still water that we can see.

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, December 7, 2006 3:39 PM

DAVESHAYNE


Quote:

Originally posted by citizen:
I call foul! That was blatently a fusion of "Enter the Dragon" and the "Karate Kid".



Actually the first bit was the Jackie Chan classic Drunken Master. But yeah the foul on Enter the Dragon for sure.

David

"Not completely as well as the series of Firefly..." - From a review of Serenity at amazon.de

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, December 7, 2006 4:30 PM

JADEHAND


Thanks, Glad it didn't take as long as they first said, but I did pay extra to get it done now. Pooh. I hate no money, I hate 'puter more.

"All these years
Truth In front of my eyes
While I denied
What my heart knows was right."
Neverland(Marbles)-Marillion
visit WWW.Marillion.com for a better way of life.



NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, December 7, 2006 5:43 PM

KAREL

Flying on duct tape and a damaged registry.


Quote:

Originally posted by CallMeSerenity:
Well, while you're waiting for JadeHand to come back, I hope we can keep you entertained.

This place never fails to entertain, Serenity!

--Karel.

"Wondrous is our great blue ship that sails around the mighty sun and joy to everyone that rides along." -- Jeff Lynne, Electric Light Orchestra.

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Friday, December 8, 2006 12:07 AM

CITIZEN


Quote:

Originally posted by daveshayne:
Actually the first bit was the Jackie Chan classic Drunken Master. But yeah the foul on Enter the Dragon for sure.

Actually you did pretty well, Kung Fu movies are pretty much all based around the Journey story type, specifically the journey of the young man (in this respect Star Wars is just like a Kung Fu Movie) or the Hero's Journey.

Your's had a little of both, the Young man's journey as the guy who goes out, meets a master and learns the art before returning home (for a pure young mans journey the master would have needed to be killed by the villian and the young man would have to take revenge).

The Hero's journey is where he fights the great evil, he hasn't been personally wronged as he would be in the young mans story, though sometimes they'll add in an element of that to help the Hero through the final trial "You remember your dog, fluffy?"
"You killed Fluffy! I shall avenge you Fluffy!!!".

Anyway, the Hero fights for great justice, and in the end he leaves and continues his journey to fight for justice elsewhere.

So really your story had it all, I just felt like being obnoxious.



More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
No one can see their reflection in running water. It is only in still water that we can see.

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Friday, December 8, 2006 3:07 AM

SERYN


Sean you are such a geek

Isn't sanity really a one trick pony, anyway? I mean all you get is one trick, rational thinking! But when you're good and crazy...ooh hoo hoo hoo... the skys the limit!
http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Friday, December 8, 2006 3:09 AM

CITIZEN


Quote:

Originally posted by seryn:
Sean you are such a geek

Thank you.



More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
No one can see their reflection in running water. It is only in still water that we can see.

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Friday, December 8, 2006 3:18 AM

SERYN


no problem

Isn't sanity really a one trick pony, anyway? I mean all you get is one trick, rational thinking! But when you're good and crazy...ooh hoo hoo hoo... the skys the limit!
http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Friday, December 8, 2006 3:42 AM

CALLMESERENITY


*clap clap clap clap clap*

Bravo! Well told, Dave!!!

I love this game!

Any chance I could get you to do "Every Action Movie Ever Made"?



Serenity,
President of The Juggled Gosling Chatroom
Bride8

http://callmeserenity.livejournal.com/

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Friday, December 8, 2006 4:21 AM

JADEHAND


I'm more interested in Hiro's story.

"All these years
Truth In front of my eyes
While I denied
What my heart knows was right."
Neverland(Marbles)-Marillion
visit WWW.Marillion.com for a better way of life.



NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

YOUR OPTIONS

NEW POSTS TODAY

USERPOST DATE

OTHER TOPICS

DISCUSSIONS
Greatest SF novel of all time? And why?
Mon, November 4, 2024 04:07 - 72 posts
Fukushima Nuclear Reactor Status
Sun, November 3, 2024 17:17 - 130 posts
Marvel comics continues the long march to destroying an industry. ( Get work, go broke )
Sun, November 3, 2024 10:42 - 8 posts
SpaceX
Mon, October 28, 2024 18:53 - 11 posts
What Song Are You Listening To, New Slang
Tue, September 24, 2024 16:34 - 117 posts
What happened to music?
Mon, September 23, 2024 14:00 - 79 posts
Your essential top ten music albums.
Sat, September 7, 2024 10:00 - 32 posts
Marvel CANCELS Comic Shops | Snowflake and SafeSpace Won't Save Retailers
Tue, August 13, 2024 11:10 - 6 posts
I Made a Nintendo Game Play Nintendo Games
Sun, August 4, 2024 02:50 - 2 posts
The Great Bird
Sun, June 30, 2024 15:37 - 2 posts
DC to Marvel - Hold my beer
Sat, June 22, 2024 06:16 - 4 posts
What Song Are You Listening To, California Dreamin'
Mon, June 17, 2024 13:17 - 149 posts

FFF.NET SOCIAL