The Sereni-Tree and the Next Big Thing by TheRealMe

TALK STORY

The Sereni-Tree and the Next Big Thing

POSTED BY: THEREALME
UPDATED: Friday, April 6, 2007 18:47
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Wednesday, March 28, 2007 5:38 PM

This is Thread 56 of the adventures of the Sereni-Tree!

For “The Guide to the Clubhouse / Treehouse / Sereni-Tree Threads”, telling our story and providing links to all such threads:
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=11&t=11877

Following this post is a very long post containing “TheRealMe’s Guide to the Sereni-Tree, V7,” which is a detailed description of our spaceship. Following that is another post detailing the crew and passengers.

Following is a summary of our previous thread, located at:
http://fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=11&t=26750

The Sereni-Tree is still in orbit (or has it landed on) the planet Zanzibar, colonized long ago by new age mystics, fantasy role-players, and Renaissance Faire enthusiasts. The great war with the Immortals is over. However, we lost Mai! She sort of vanished.

Thanks to the extra-dimensional portal superpowers of TheRealMe, a group of Our Heroes went off to search for Mai. She had ended up in a strange American Old West setting, circa 1885, except that there was an evil lawman who had magical powers, including that of creating zombies. Mai died for a time, existing as both a ghost and a creepy zombie. However, our resourceful crew managed to get her back to normal. And a good thing, too, considering our “no dying” rule.

TheRealMe ensured that everyone was accounted for and returned to Sereni-Tree and then closed the dimensional portal to Westworld.

Now, all we need to do is figure out what the Next Big Thing is!

Meanwhile, there are newcomers aboard Sereni-Tree!

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Wednesday, March 28, 2007 5:42 PM

THEREALME

THE REAL ME’S GUIDED TOUR OF THE SERENI-TREE, V7

Hello! I am TheRealMe. I will provide another tour of the Sereni-Tree, my seventh. I have paid careful attention over time, and I believe that this layout is consistent with all the stories that have occurred in the Sereni-Tree to date.

WARNING: This post is very long.

The Sereni-Tree’s Past

The Sereni-Tree is our home. Originally, it took the form of a tree house built by Ebonezer, and this is the image it has on our flag, the Flag That Shw Made, an interpretation of which can be found among ThatWeirdGirl’s Blue Sun items. The tree house was the immediate successor to “The Forgotten Not a Guy/Girl Clubhouse”. Later, PsychicRiver and a few others, including myself, modified the tree house to make it an air-ship, floating through the sky on numerous butterfly-shaped reactionless thrusters. In this form, the converted tree house was named and christened “Sereni-Tree” by Mal-licious, and we left the actual Tree behind as we flew off. Later, TheGreyJedi made even more modifications, and the Sereni-Tree became a starship. We have since been traveling the ‘verse, leaving the destroyed planets of Rukus and Black Diamond in our wake (we REALLY have to stop that). We returned to Earth-That-Still-Is to fight the Evil / Enemy Invaders and to face our own dark selves. After relaxing among dandelions and facing some Reavers, we boarded the nightmare ship Arkham. After that, we recovered ThatWeirdGirl and went on a second Mai-Quest where we befriended pirates. Then we got all caught up in the Boros Incident, where the Sereni-Tree was heavily damaged in a battle with two Alliance cruisers. We faced a lot of peril on the planet Garrison and its moon Commerce, and held our Second Gala Pageant. Next we went to deal with the Immortal magicians and the Knights of the Octagonal Order. Finally, we have just returned from Mai-Quest 3 to a setting in the American Wild West.

The Sereni-Tree on the Inside

The Sereni-Tree is a structure much larger on the inside than it appears on the outside, thanks to my ability to fold space-time in higher dimensions. On the outside, the Sereni-Tree is perhaps the size of a modest two-story house. On the inside, it is larger. MUCH larger.

The Common Room

The Common Room is the center of life in the Sereni-Tree. It is a huge cylindrical room perhaps 20 yards/meters across and three levels high. There are two encircling balconies, one above the other, around the Common Room. Equally spaced around the Common Room’s curving walls are the exits to the North, East, South, and West Wings. While it is true that the Sereni-Tree can move about and adopt any orientation, the names are traditional, coming from the time it was still a stationary tree house. There will be more about the Wings later.

In the center of the Common Room sits the pool table. In many ways, it is the critical nerve center of the ship, and battles have been waged for its possession. Underneath the pool table is the nest of Commodore Ebonezer, where she used to pile her stuff. The Commodore has a designated room in one of the Wings, but that room has rarely been used. The top of the pool table is where the Commodore sometimes climbs to address the crew, but mostly she is absent, stopping by every nine or ten threads to see how we are. Rat had once traded the pool table’s 8-ball for more Spam, but TheRealMe acquired a replacement. The pool table’s cue-ball is still stained purple from travel through the purple dimension. Above the pool table is an anti-gravity chandelier. Also, there is some kind of device to switch out the pool table for a snooker table (it being a game for “true gentleman”). There might be a retractable dancing pole over the pool table for Needy’s use.

On the wall between the North and East Wings (and in that general area) is the game arcade. We have many pinball and video game consoles. A favorite is the Whack-a-Fox-Executive game, a device of my own invention. It’s similar to a Whack-a-Mole game, but much more satisfying. Beyond the arcade area is a door in the wall of the Common Room that provides access to the room beyond, a lounge / party room / mess area / lecture hall with enough tables and chairs to seat perhaps 40 people. The balconies above this area give access to the Bridge.

On the wall between the East and South Wings is the bar run by Trey/Bride3. It is finely constructed of a dark, polished wood, with barstools lined along it, several tables out in front, and a place behind it for Trey to work some alcoholic magic. On the wall directly behind the bar are a large mirror (unfortunately cracked in several places) and our carefully arrayed bottles of booze. Above the mirror is a sign: “Trey’s Bar, where every hour is a happy hour!” As you face the bar, a door to its right leads to our personal micro-brewery, with vats of beer (and root-beer?), under the watchful eye of our brewer, Jadehand. A door to the left of the bar leads to our fully equipped kitchen and pantry, with an enormous walk-in freezer, all the domain of our elvish cook, Kelly (though she has been absent for some time, now). The balconies above the bar provide access to conference rooms and various offices on the upper levels, including at least offices of the Captain, First Officer, Cruise Director, and Security Chief with attached brig (this last on the lower balcony).

On the wall between the South and West Wings are a huge plasma television, an impressive sound system, and a DVD player complete with racks of all Whedonverse DVD sets, as well as complete Doctor Who, Star Trek, Indiana Jones, Farscape, Babylon 5, Twilight Zone, old and new Battlestar Galactica, all the Stargates, Highlanders, X-Files, the live-action and animated Tick, the Predator, Alien, and Star Wars cycles, Lord of the Rings (super-extended editions), The Princess Bride, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, The Abyss, and many other science fiction and fantasy television series and movies. In front of this television sits a large (96” by 40”) comfortable leather-covered couch, a couple of love seats, recliners, and some tables for holding munchies and drinks. To the right of the television as you face it is a doorway to the multi-level Infirmary of Doctor SimonWho, which has an operating theater with overhead viewing area, convalescent ward, examination rooms, supply rooms, a cryogenic freezing chamber, and medical offices (the upper levels of the Infirmary connect to the balconies above the Common Room). To the left of the television, as you are facing it, is a hatch to a major airlock. This placement allows us to drag wounded into the Infirmary from the airlock after a failed ground expedition (the airlock also connects directly to the Infirmary), or from the vehicle bay in the South Wing. On a wall in the main airlock, hanging among vac-suits and space tools, is a fishing pole for retrieving Rat on those occasions when he had been spaced. There is an armory near or as part of this airlock, where one can requisition all sorts of odd gear, including space-suits, Spamguns, and jetpacks. The balconies above this area give access to a plasma cannon turret on the side of the ship.

On the wall between the West and North Wings are public bathrooms with showers and lockers (the women’s bathroom at that location apparently has a odd device/ride called a “potty-go-round”), and beyond is access to the Sereni-Tree’s water park. The water park includes an Olympic sized swimming pool, a sauna, a jacuzzi (which can be turned into a chocolate / vodka jacuzzi with a flip of a switch), a floor-to-ceiling blue fishie aquarium, a pair of water slides that extends up three floors, and (floating in mid-air) a large zero-G blob of the same breathable fluid featured in the movie “The Abyss” (this last courtesy of SimonWho). The balconies above this area lead to platforms at various levels near the top of the water slides, and to the diving platform. There is talk of a “kissie pool”, where one could jump in among those charming affectionate creatures, but it has not been installed yet.

The Bridge

The Bridge and related structures are reached from the upper balcony to the northeast, and jut out from the side of the ship high over the lounge / mess hall. The main level of the bridge has a number of view screens and three main control stations, any of which can be configured for any ship function. Climbing a ladder up and forward from the main Bridge level gets you to the pilot dome, which is dominated by a cramped cockpit. From here, the pilot has an excellent view, though this is easily supplemented by holographic images. From the Bridge, one has control over the ship’s functions of command, maneuver, FTL drives, navigation, sensors, computer, communication, weaponry, engineering, ship system status, security systems, and just about anything else. This control is shared by Main Engineering. Just off the Bridge are ladders leading up and down to the dorsal and ventral gunnery stations. These access ways are not nearly so long as one would expect from the apparent height of the ship. On either side of the Bridge are mounted the twin-linked plasma cannons for the pilot’s use.

The Rest of the Central Core of the Ship

On the roof of the Sereni-Tree, above the Common Room, were once mounted MaRTHA and BERTHA, a catapult and high-powered gun both devised by TheGreyJedi, though he later removed the gun and mounted it upon his mecha, Aegis, to deal with a perceived invasion of the planet Rukus (sadly, Aegis has since been lost in a singularity accident). Also on top of the Sereni-Tree is a dorsal quad-laser emplacement and gunnery station, an observatory dome that splits open to reveal a high-powered telescope, and an observation lounge in a transparent enclosure that offers a stunning view (the remains of Serenity’s nest might still be here). This observation lounge is perhaps located on the spot once occupied by TheGreyJedi’s lawn chair back when it was merely the roof of the tree house. Somewhere in this general area is a combined gunnery station for a small group of people, from where all weapons on the ship can be operated.

Below the Common Room is the Main Cargo Bay. The Cargo Bay is a huge place, with a number of levels of vaults and subdivided compartments for various goods. There is a massive hatch that allows easy loading access from outside the ship. One of the compartments holds CallMeSerenity’s extensive greenhouse garden, usually kept under lock. There is also a space in the cargo area that has been greatly expanded through other dimensions to contain the pifflepony ranch. Near the piffleranch is a small forest where KellyofLuthien has magically grown the Mallorn tree she lives in with Piffle, Shadow, and Ghost. In addition to our herd of piffleponies, we also house some horses and a corral of kissies.

Another compartment holds a very large snow park where the Yeti have gone to live.

Below the Cargo Area is Main Engineering, the realm of TheGreyJedi (who has recently returned), Jet/Bride4, and ScorpionRegent. To enter, one must pass through a huge vault door. All sorts of arcane techno-magic occur in this place, and most ship functions can be controlled from here, in addition to the Bridge. Grey built a command chair that seems to hover anywhere the operator needs to go. There are power plants and spacedrives of almost every description, including a console for the highly experimental quad-locked Grav Drive (aka Ether Drive). The life support systems are no doubt in this section as well. Off of Main Engineering are Grey’s quarters (which had recently been occupied by ScorpionRegent) and a series of lockers and a bathroom. Somewhere, the Sereni-Tree must store its fuel, so perhaps fuel tanks are near Main Engineering as well. Or perhaps the ship requires so little fuel that its storage is not an issue. There are extensive workshops on the various Engineering decks.

In the days of the Sereni-Tree airship, Main Engineering was merely the boiler room, though it has since been upgraded significantly. However, the old boiler room had a permanent dimensional portal that connected to Zoid’s Pub at the Bottom of the Tree. This device is still operational, and can be used to access the original “Forgotten Not a Guy/Girl Clubhouse, recovered from Earth-That-Still-Is and put up into the Tree as the new Treehouse. Also in the old boiler room used to be the Big Red Button for enabling Real World Physics. TheRealMe has used warning signs, locks, titanium bulkheads, and duct tape to seal this away from Rat’s prying hands so THAT HE COULD NEVER MESS WITH IT AGAIN.

There is a ventral quad laser emplacement underneath the Sereni-Tree.

ScorpionRegent has developed some additional, lower tech weapons for the ship.

The Sereni-Tree is equipped with grappler arms, huge mechanical arms that can be used to hold or manipulate items, or even other ships. These are operated from any reconfigurable control station on the Bridge or in Main Engineering.

Somewhere deep in the bowels of the Sereni-Tree is the secret cryogenic freezing chamber of the Insidious Doctor Rat. Inside are stored former crewmembers that have neglected to post in a long time and the remains of the FemaleReaver (who may be resurrected when plots really slow down and we actually NEED a little peril).

The Wings

The North, East, South, and West Wings of the Sereni-Tree all have identical floor plans, mostly because they are, in fact, the same exact space folded twice through higher dimensions. This has worked well, except for the time that Rat re-asserted real-world physics and the Wings all collapsed back down to just three dimensions. That got confusing. And crowded!

The Wings are entered off of the Common Room through four doors placed at the cardinal points. There are additional doors above these, one on each encircling balcony per Wing. On the left side of each of these doors is access to an elevator. On the right side of each is access to a stairway. These access ways run through all the decks of the ship, from the roof structures down through the Common Room, Cargo Bay, and Main Engineering, to the ventral lasers.

The Wings have three floors each. The bottom two are for living quarters, with ten modest apartments on each floor, five on each side of a central corridor.

The West Wing lower floor contains the apartment of TheRealMe, the apartment once used as the FemaleReaver Containment Area, the apartment temporarily expanded to hold the population of Black Diamond and once used by the Yeti, and Needleseye’s old apartment. The Real Me has one of the two apartments at the end of the corridor with windows giving a nice view of space. SimonWho’s apartment is also in the West Wing, probably on the middle floor, to be near both the Infirmary and the zero-G blob of “Abyss” fluid that he provided. XanderLHarris/Ash lives somewhere in the West Wing.

The middle level of the South Wing contains individual apartments for the long-missing MontanaGirl (with easy access to the Hanger Bay so she can practice sliding over the hood of the General Lee), SoulofSerenity, and Jadehand (who has an end room). The Brides all have rooms in the lower floor of the South Wing, which is referred to as Brideland.

The lower level of the North Wing was once Cloneland. River-clone’s old room was given to Washie, but now River-clone is back and Washie is gone, so she has likely reclaimed it. The individual apartments of CallMeAth, Mai (who has an end room) and the room Static once shared with ThatWeirdGirl are on the middle floor of the North Wing.

The East Wing contains the quarters of ThatWeirdGirl and her future son, PsychicRiver (though both have been absent for some time), as well as CageyBee’s old quarters and Cozen’s ‘Stockholm Suite’. It seems that Cozen relocated his Pleasurable Torture Chamber, including “the Chair” from below the pool table to this five-star suite of rooms.

Some folks don’t sleep in the Wings. CallMeSerenity has a nest in the observation lounge, though since the birth of her baby Seraphina she may have moved; Piffle, Kelly, Shadow, and Ghost lived in the Piffleranch Forest in a Mallorn tree; Seryn has a hammock in the Hanger Bay as well as quarters somewhere where she keeps her bunnies; and ScorpionRegent is in TheGreyJedi’s old quarters off of Main Engineering, but has offered to vacate them now that Grey has returned.

I don’t know about anyone else, but feel free to pick a spot.

In addition to the two levels of living quarters, each Wing has a third floor with an extra-high ceiling containing something special:

The North Wing third floor contains the “This Land” game preserve / mini-theme park / miniature golf course, where we usually keep Mai’s pet dinosaur, Frederick, the cage of butterfly thrusters, and a petting zoo.

The East Wing third floor contains a recording studio, stage, and dance floor (with disco ball!) for our band, “the Fireflies”.

The South Wing third floor contains the Hanger Bay for our various small craft, including: the stolen Alliance fighter Nandi; the unnamed shuttle stolen from the Alliance cruiser Tripoli by TWG, Soul, and others; Jadehand’s stealth shuttle Ocean Cloud, the shuttles General Lee for Southerners or Dukes of Hazard fans, the Admiral Nelson for Brits, and the Napoleon Bonaparte for French Browncoats (the General Grant for Yankees was lost during the Boros Incident). There are also two remaining EVA pods from the half-dozen we once had. TheGreyJedi’s mecha “Megadeus” might be here, as well as Emma’s shrunken ship when Rat is not carrying it in his pocket, and perhaps SimonWho’s Blue Box when he doesn’t have it with him. The Hanger Bay has massive doors above which open up, other doors that open from its end, and a special force field to hold in air but allow shuttles to slip by. As mentioned earlier, Seryn seems to have strung up a hammock and made the hanger her home.

The West Wing third floor has the magnificent floor-to-ceiling Willy-Wonka-esque Dream Machine created long ago by ManiacNumberOne, where one’s mind can be played with. The West Wing also has a gym with showers, lockers, mats, weights, treadmills, stair-masters, etc. There is a sports room with table tennis. Who knows, we might even have a full tennis / basketball court, and a ring for UNPROFESSIONAL WRESTLING! Maybe we have a bowling alley, too, or a firing range.

The Sereni-Tree! Who needs to visit a pleasure planet?

TheRealMe, Captain of the Sereni-Tree

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Wednesday, March 28, 2007 5:43 PM

THEREALME

THE CREW AND PASSENGERS OF THE SERENI-TREE

Hello! Under active crew I have put everyone who has posted something in the last two threads (about the last three months). I shuffled others off to the MIA list.

If I have missed crew or if anyone would like to change my one-line description of them, let me know. There is always the possibility that some missing folks have just been sleeping in their quarters for the last dozen threads, or perhaps they have been placed in the secret cryogenic freezing chamber of the Insidious Doctor Rat. CageyBee? CosmicFugitive? BadgersHat? Apple? ManiacNumberOne? KaySky? Knibblet? Aramina? ImEarly? GreekToomey? PyreFX? Superpup? Witchy? See also the ‘missing in action’ section of the crew list.

The Active Crew and Passengers of the Sereni-Tree

Bluefishie: Often just wanders around. Has pet blue fishies. Power: “Magic” marker.

Browncoat2007: A 5'6" brown haired, brown eyed college kid, joined at the very end of Mai-Quest3. A merc. Powers: Calling forth his dufflebag from thin air; rapid regeneration; "Browncoat fury".

CallMeSerenity aka Serenity aka Bride8 (Gardener): Ath’s sister; built greenhouse in cargo bay; Parent of baby angel Seraphina (with husband Soul); Skilled with katanas. Power: flight via blue-white angelic wings.

Citizen: A businessman of Boros brought to the Sereni-Tree after the Boros Incident. Has connections and an impressive armory. Recently found in Westworld during Mai-Quest 3.

Cozen aka The Infinite Goof: Kidnaps women and subjects them to pleasurable torture; Power: insect and clone creation / control. Has pet llama, Schwartz.

Finn: Seryn’s recently born son.

Jadehand aka BlackJackRackham aka EVERYBODY! (Brewer and Gunner) : Power: nametags of shapeshifting, which allows him to become anyone, at a price! Brought aboard after Mai-Quest 2.

Jake7 (Gunner): Volunteers for all the hard missions; enjoys a game of pool. Power: gadget that projects force fields and grants night vision.

Jazaf aka Sir Jazaf of the Octagonal Order aka the Immortal Jazaf the Metal Beast: Master swordsman, mystery man, Sensei to Bride2; has once mutated arm that MIGHT be fixed now; Powers: metal-shaping. Immortality.

JonnyQuest: Newcomer, joined at the very end of Mai-quest3, or at least peeked in at us.

LightMeDark aka LMD aka Elemdee (Animal Handler): Tends to remain drunk; Powers: banana powers?? Understands speech and writing of all creatures. Joined just before Mai-Quest 2.

Mai (Cruise Director / Tour Guide): Not an attack-and-kill kind of girl; has pet dinosaur Frederick; sometimes disappears and has to be quested for. Power: light generation.

McQ, aka “Modified Combat Quarters” and once Alliance soldier Patrick McQwertz: A cyborg, formerly an Alliance experiment. Not big on people skills. Powers: impressive guns, a jet pack with wings that flip out, durable armor, infra-red vision, and other cyborg-ish gadgets. Joined during the Boros Incident.

PsychicRiver (Security Deputy): Son of TWG and SimonWho from the future. Just a little crazy; knits. Once took his dad’s TARDIS out for a spin, but has since returned. Powers: telepathy, precognition, telekinesis. Powers are GREATLY enhanced for a time after consuming blood from an Eldritch Horror from the Purple Dimension.

River-clone: River-clone seems to be back from the dead after a part-ghostly existence. Powers: a mind-reading genius with a leaky brainpan.

ScorpionRegent (Engineer): Red-headed pirate formerly with Nell’s crew. Very competent fighter and sniper. An engineer. Friendly with Jet. Getting romantic with Seryn. Powers: Appears and disappears from nowhere with time shifts throughout the multiverse; Piratey Angst. Joined around the time of Mai-Quest 2.

Seraphina aka Sera: Baby daughter of Soul and Serenity. Has cute little angel wings.

Seryn aka VoodooNell (Nandi and Bonaparte pilot; hanger mechanic?): Restored the Nandi to full operation. Recently gave birth to Finn, assisted by the Faeries. Has bag of holding and trained attack bunnies. Power: Shapeshifting. Joined us during Mai-Quest2.

Shadow and Ghost: Orphans and stow-aways. A rather young pair of sisters picked up from Boros. Grew up in a bad home situation.

SimonWho (Physician): Helpful, friendly, annoys women he likes; In the future, he and ThatWeirdGirl are the parents of PsychicRiver. Power: Timelord; blue box; can destroy an entire planet (but only an ENTIRE planet, all or nothing).

SoulofSerenity aka Soul aka Groom8? (Security Chief): Willing to sacrifice self for friends. Archer with trick arrows. Parent of baby angel Seraphina (with wife Serenity); Power: Desolidification.

TheGreyJedi aka TGJ aka Grey (Chief Engineer): Loner tech-priest; Powers: MacGuyver-like scrounging / inventing; angelic Jedi powers. Recently returned after more than a dozen threads away. Has a big mecha.

TheRealMe aka TRM (Captain): Level-headed, reliable; Powers: inventor, dimensional portals, and space-folding. Rarely, he shows Jedi powers.

WashsYoungerSexierBrother aka Wisp: Young sexy fellow picked up from Garrison. Very driven tough guy. Brought along Doris the Talking Goat.

The Brides

Bride1 aka Ace: Blonde assassin with katana. “Reaverized” by FemaleReaver, slain by Needleseye, cloned and brought back by Doctor SimonWho.

Bride2 aka Deuce: Red hair, freckles; impulsive, temperamental; strong, athletic, and tomboy-ish; acrobat. Has pair of katanas. Student of Jazaf. Youngest Bride.

Bride3 aka Trey (Bartender): Tall woman of African descent. Practical, wise. Looks out for the others. Mixes drinks and deals cards. Eldest Bride.

Bride4 aka Jet (Engineer): Small of stature, dark hair, brave and intelligent, wears glasses. An excellent engineer. Usually keeps to herself down in Main Engineering.

Bride5 aka Quincey aka Quin aka Mei-ling Kuin (Pilot): Beautiful woman of Asian descent; long straight black hair; affects the “glamorous” look; adept at vamping men to get what she wants, fashion conscious. Likes piloting. Has father who is connected with Chinese Tongs and trying to arrange her marriage.

Bride6 aka Bobbie Sue aka Roberta: Giggly and excitable blonde with curly hair; not overburdened with intelligence; does nails; likes frilly and lacy dresses. Barbie collector. A gun nut after spending some time with Jayne-clone2.

Bride7: Blushing psychotic bride with sarcastic, cutting remarks; files nails; avoids work; good cook; possibly cannibalistic.

Bride8: **See entry under CallMeSerenity.**

The Fairies

The Olympic synchronized flying team of pint-sized fairies, including: Luna, May, Fauna, Merle, Amber, Orla and Tiffany. They wear gowns they make themselves, out of spider silk and faerie glamour.

The Black Diamond Creatures

Yeti: Assan, Corbin (who recently gave birth), Ervin, Hewitt, Lichna, and SimonYeti (Corbin’s baby, named after our good doctor).

Windmill Giants: A few shrunken giants might still be around, including Rat’s friend Wendel.

Mechanical, Natural, and Magical Servants, Friends, and Pets of the Sereni-Tree

Aluminum: TRM’s white horse, for when he’s playing at being Sheriff of Serenity County.

Attack Bunnies: Archie and Esme and their ever-expanding brood, pets or companions of Seryn, but being handed out to whoever wants them.

Automops: A modern convenience devised by Mai.

Baby3000 aka CallMeCharles aka CallMeCharlise aka CallMeChucky: Evil robotic “practice baby” once acquired by Serenity and Soul. Hopefully destroyed (again!) Pieces are currently in the possession of Hewitt the Yeti.

The Black Ribbon: MontanaGirl’s magical protective black ribbon kept in a glass of Pepsi.

Blue Fishies: Pets of Bluefishie.

Cats: PsychicRiver’s cat Annabelle and Mai’s cats.

Dale, the Intimidator Ferret: Montanagirl’s friend, who takes revenge on those who disparage NASCAR. Probably wherever Montanagirl is.

DRDs: An unknown number of programmable Diagnostic Repair Drones, presumably built long ago by TheGreyJedi.

Doris the Goat: A talking goat brought aboard by Wisp.

The Ebo Golem: The Effigy of Ebo, magically animated by TRM; lost an arm after the Boros Incident. Very strong, but not sentient. Sort of falling apart, now.

Frederick the Dinosaur: A pet brontosaurus picked up in the Land of the Lost by Mai during Mai-Quest1.

Kissies: Numerous pokemon-ish emoticon creatures which spread affection everywhere; also they have medicinal properties.

MollytheParrot: The cutest baby parrot ever! A creature cloned from Cozen’s one-time mouthpiece, Black Jack Silver.

Nugget, the Meteor Troll: Emma’s friend, a large and brutish creature with some affection for TRM.

Piffleponies: Everyone wants a pifflepony, deep down. Piffleponies include: Patience, Prudence, Penitence, Ororo, Shadowfax, two mothers, four foals, among others.

The Pillow CageyBee: The golem created by CageyBee of fabric and stuffing; not seen lately.

Schwartz the Llama: Cozen’s pet or companion.

Shadow: NoSkillz's tiger companion, not to be confused with the little girl from Boros. Probably with NoSkillz.

Snarky: A robot built by ScorpionRegent, stronger than Sparky; takes the Three Laws of Robotics as guidelines only.

Sparky, The Mechana-Cabana-Boy 3000, Mark II: a robot built by TRM. Follows the Three Laws of Robotics too precisely.

On Ice (known to have been put into cryogenic suspension):

FemaleReaver: Very dangerous, very intelligent, very clever, very persuasive, very good combat skills. Accidentally created by TRM via a magical wish-granting plank. Escaped on Black Diamond, hurt lots of people, caused the Yeti there to rise in rebellion. She was finally hunted down and squished.

Krysten Renae: An Alliance soldier who fell in combat during the Boros Incident. McQ’s love from when he was fully human. Put on ice by River-clone during the confusion of that time.

Departed, Missing In Action, Stored in Cryo, Occasional Visitors, Treehouse Dwellers, and the Unknown

13: Thirteenth out of the twenty-one chicken-men chimeras created by the Immortal Alatariel the Lurker; has lots of outlandish gadgets of magical nature. Rides a pegasus. Not known to be currently on board our ship.

CallMeAth aka Ath (Pilot): Brother of CallMeSerenity. With Lissa, creator of the kissies; Powers: pyro-kinesis, predictive parrying, and bat wings. Rarely, he shows Jedi powers (but then he usually turns into his dark alter ego, Darth Ath).

Ebonezer aka Ebo (Commodore): Exuberant, impulsive; nest under the pool table where she is often in hibernation; Power: speaks to any creature. Drops in every nine or ten threads to see how we are doing.

Elwoodmom (Mom): Knows what is best for us; occasionally stops by to give advice; Powers: eyes in the back of her head and other “Mom” powers.

Emma: Space-going entrepreneur (thief). Owns (stolen) spherical spaceship. Faints at the slightest danger. Missing for a very long time (20+ threads).

ItsAWash aka Wash aka Washie (Ship’s Counselor): Empathetic and protective of others. Powers: taps into psychic powers of her room mate, River-clone. Seemingly evaporated one day.

Sir Kei of the Octagonal Order: Cheerful, amazingly strong and tough monster-slayer of Zanzibar; not too bright. Perhaps under the control of the Luc-Monster.

KellyofLuthien (Cook): Red-headed Elf woman. Pleasant, helpful. Powers: Immortality, Elvish magic; wielder of the Ring of Fire Narya and the magic sword Nardol.

Lissa: With Ath, creator of the kissies; tends to prefer the calmer times (and jacuzzi parties).

Malicious aka Mal-licious (Mistress Most High): Regal and self-assured Goddess-Queen; Powers: thread-jacking, charisma, and beauty. Two-time judge and two-time winner of the Sereni-tree’sGala Pageant.

Monkeytail: Former cabana boy of the Forgotten Not A Guy/Girl Clubhouse. Admits to being a bit lazy. Powers: Jedi powers.

MontanaGirl (MedAssistant and Vet); Likes Cozen’s kidnapping methods. Likes things to go boom! NASCAR fan. Has ferret friend Dale.

Needleseye (Assistant Engineer): Aquatic carnivorous faerie creature; shapeshifts to monster; creates flowers. Once ate Bride1 when she (Bride1) became too Reaverish.

Needy (Companion): A confused boy whore who sometimes talks to angels only he can see. Power: Indestructible.

Needy’s Angel: Angelic figure resembling Serenity that only Needy can see and hear.

NoSkillz (Security Deputy): A gunslinger. Has a pet tiger Shadow (not to be confused with the girl from Boros).

The Phantom: A ghostly being wandering unseen among the crew. Evaporated during game of pantsless Twister before it could do any evil. But it might still be around!

Piffle101: Breeder of piffleponies. Shared Piffleranch Mallorn tree with Kelly, Ghost and Shadow.

Rat (Acquisitions Officer / Lee pilot): Troublemaker; messes with things; Powers: inventor, weather prediction, elemental blasts. Missing for some time, but once seen climbing out of the cryo tanks.

Safeat2nd: A pilot and former Alliance officer who objected to certain brutal orders from his superiors. Departed Sereni-Tree with Dagger’s crew to look for his old buddy CastIronJack. Took ISSCV dropship with him. Currently absent from Sereni-Tree.

Static (Former Pilot): No-nonsense guy; Gunslinger; Powers: piloting; combat with blade and gun.

ThatWeirdGirl aka TWG aka the pirate Mad Anne Rackham aka Wildigstart (Former First Lieutenant and Nelson pilot): Playful and weird; Pepsimilk proponent; Had something of a once and future romance with SimonWho. Power: Confusion; also shorts out electronics. Departed after the Time of Too Much Peril.

TheManInBlack aka Roberts: Has teleported in and out on occasion, but never stayed long.

XanderLHarris aka Xander aka Ash (Security Deputy): Powers: two heads; Shindig goddess.

TheRealMe, Captain of the Sereni-Tree

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Wednesday, March 28, 2007 8:31 PM