twitchy and cranky by boris

TALK STORY

twitchy and cranky

POSTED BY: BORIS
UPDATED: Saturday, September 6, 2008 04:05
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VIEWED: 1727
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Friday, September 5, 2008 6:01 PM

Does anyone else on this thread have Tourette's or any other lifelong "challenge" and have the odd day when they wish they could just eliminate it from their brain without taking heavy meds or resorting to deep brain surgery(not that I would ever do that...it seems extreme) I don't have coprolalia, but I do have some behavioral tics ( sometimes funny/endearing, sometimes not) and quite alot of physical twitches etc...sorry I just felt like pissing and moaning...it makes me feel a whole lot better if I don't always have to be all smiles and "stiff upper lippy" about it.

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Friday, September 5, 2008 6:31 PM

CALIFORNIAKAYLEE

My situation isn’t all that similar, but I definitely sympathize. For me it’s all physical, no brain involvement. I have three autoimmune diseases, two of which are fairly well controlled, but the third had me in daily joint pain and walking with a cane this time last year, at the age of 26. The doctors haven’t been able to do anything about it other than give me prescription pain meds.

The last year has been much better, since eliminating a whole range of foods from my diet. As long as I’m strict about the way I eat, I can mostly avoid the pain meds, but if I catch a cold or flu it can still flare up again. That’s where I am this week, with the fatigue and just a bit of joint pain but not enough to justify taking pain meds. I’m feeling a bit less than stiff upper lippy about it ;), but it helps to think about where I was a year ago. It also helps that a few months ago I *finally* found some ice cream I can actually eat, lol.

Anyhow, I just thought I’d post and say, no, you don’t have to be all smiles and stiff upper lippy. You have the right to feel down about it, and to be frustrated about it. Just don’t it take you over. You have a condition, the condition doesn’t have you. You’re more than just a collection of your brokenness and weirdness. But you do have the right to just slump now and then. Have some ice cream. Read a good book. Snuggle up and watch a good movie. Tell the rest of the world to screw off, this is how you are, and you have both the right to be happy despite it, and the right to be sad because of it.

I think one of my biggest turning points with my illness was realizing that I needed to stop worrying about how everyone else feels. The stiff upper lip was for my family and friends, not for myself. So now I let myself be down for a bit when I feel like it, but I don’t let myself get stuck there because *I’m* the one losing days of my life feeling depressed about what I can’t do. But when I make myself get over it and get happy again, it’s for *me*, not because I’m making other people uncomfortable by feeling a real emotion.

Anyway, be gentle with yourself. You deserve the full range of emotions in your life.

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

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Friday, September 5, 2008 8:45 PM

HUGHFF

My sympathies to you both. I wish I could tell you I know how you feel but I don't. I hope that, as much and as often as possible, you get the bear.

www.cpfc.org - my life

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Friday, September 5, 2008 9:18 PM

BORIS

I hear you California Kaylee. three autoimmune conditions! That's a tough load, but it sounds like you handle it well. I'm also Aspergic and dyspraxic, but that doesn't bother me at all unlike the TS, and it only bothers me because it won't let me be myself without a battle (it's like being possessed by a particularly oppositional 3 year old). All the stuff about diet is very familiar too and I have to avoid chemicals and too much unnatural light etc. strict eating does make a huge difference (though it can make eating out problematic).Thankfully I haven't had the stress of worrying what other people think about me in terms of acceptance etc for years...I pretty much emote how I feel whenever I need to (which is not that often) other people tend to annoy me some times when they a)tell me to be gracious (which I am mostly) b)tell me to think about all the people that are worse off...I do generally feel for those people but I kind of need to "feel" for myself too occasionally and c) worry I'm about to top myself, or spiral into depression on the odd occasion I have a bad day. I understand what you are saying about letting the condition take you over...went to that place a few times in my youth, not keen to revisit. For me Part of staying on top of things is being able to express how stuff makes you feel without being told it's not okay to do so. I posted here because people are generally pretty accepting. So thanks for hearing me and empathising rather than judging. It's a refreshing change from what I usually get. By the way I started making my own icecream when the one brand I could eat disappeared from the supermarket. I find using a lot of Dark chocolate and the tiniest squirt of Wasabi makes the flavour pop. Alternatively Vanilla and Lemon Myrtle is really good too...and maple walnut of course, but only if you use real maple syrup ahhh icecream, amazing how such a simple dessert can do so much good. Comfort food of the gods!

:-) Rose.

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Saturday, September 6, 2008 4:05 AM

NCBROWNCOAT

Boris, my daugher is an Aspie and I tend toward depression (controlled with medication) so I have lots of sympathy for you. I hope you find the "middle ground".

http://fireflyfaninnc.livejournal.com/

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