The Sereni-Tree: Presents and Christmas Pudding by TheRealMe

Oh, I think we need the sculpture! It was so glittering and pretty!

Just be careful of the sharp edges!

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MAL: Everybody's makin' a fuss.
***********
"They just float out there, sending out raver breeding parties..."

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Tuesday, December 9, 2008 3:12 PM

THATWEIRDGIRL

TWG sneaks into everyone's rooms and places crackers (the toy, not the food) on their pillows. She goes back into the kitchen to continue baking. She hears footsteps on the ramp. As folks return to the ship, they see lots of baked goodies on the counter.

---
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."
-- Charlie Brown
www.thatcostumegirl.com
www.thatweirdgirl.com

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Wednesday, December 10, 2008 10:09 AM

Ooo, baked goods!

*puts a Bing Crosby Christmas album on the stereo*

Right, how about Christmas party games? Pin the tail on the donkey is always fun. Or the Fame Name Game maybe?

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Sunday, December 14, 2008 4:38 PM

*Mrs. Universe cringes and claps her hands over her ears.*
Noooo! No Bing Crosby!!! I've heard waaaaay too much Bing Crosby lately!

Maybe some Nat King Cole, or...ooo....Josh Groban?
*closes her eyes and smiles wistfully* Ah..Josh Groban, of Earth-That-Still-Is....Kinda looks kind of like my man, except Mr. Universe is shorter.

I used to tease him about it all of the time.

I know!

Let's roast some chestnuts on an open fire!!!!

I'll get the fire extinguisher ready, in case of any screwups, haha.
*races off to the kitchen to grab the fire extinguisher*
*suddenly, you hear a SCREAM!*
Aaaaaaaaaaa!!! I can't get it off of me! Help! Noooo!

Mrs. Universe

MR. UNIVERSE---->

<----MRS. UNIVERSE

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Monday, December 15, 2008 8:03 AM

I'm sick of Christmas songs, how about Bob Rivers' Christmas song parodies?

Can't beat some of my favorites:
The Twelve Pains of Christmas
We Wish You Weren't Living With Us
Wreck the Malls
A Visit from St. Nicholson
The "What's It To Ya" Chorus
and
Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire...

But, if we must hear real Christmas songs, I vote for Jon Anderson's Three Ships...

--------------
MAL: Everybody's makin' a fuss.
***********
"They just float out there, sending out raver breeding parties..."

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Monday, December 15, 2008 11:17 AM

SAFEAT2ND

With the savory smell of roasting chipmunks wafting through the corridors, a figure shrouded in a red hooded cloak, skulks silently about.

...skulk...skulk...skulk...

Hanging mistletoe in every archway, doorway, for that matter, on every overhanging surface, he pauses, a large bag of flavoured chapsticks flung over his shoulder, to survey his handy work.

"Yep, that oughta do it."

"Merry Christmas and Festive Greetings Sereni-Tree-ians!!"

_______________________________________________________________
"Got a headful of lightning
And a heart full of rain
And I know that I said
I'd never do it again
Oh and I love you sweet baby but I always take the long way home."

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Tuesday, December 16, 2008 3:02 PM

Mrs. Universe whirls around, making sure to avoid the mistletoe.

"And who are you?"

She picks up a Chap-Stick that was dropped.

"Oooooh! Watermelon! My favorite flavor!"

Mrs. Universe

MR. UNIVERSE---->

<----MRS. UNIVERSE

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Thursday, December 18, 2008 12:12 PM

Right, snack time. Anyone fancy sausages wrapped with bacon? Veggie alternatives if you fancy.

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Thursday, December 18, 2008 5:26 PM

Safe! Welcome home!

SimonWho... Can we deep-fry those sausages rolled in bacon, for that heart-stopping special taste?

TheRealMe, Captain of the Sereni-Tree

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Friday, December 19, 2008 3:44 AM

SAFEAT2ND

Who am I, Mrs. Universe, who am I indeed....

*Quickly checks the tag on his underwear*

I'm Jockey! No wait, that's not right... Oh, I'm Safeat2nd, at your service.

Damn!! I keep forgeting about the silent part of skulking.

*Goes back to skulking in the shadows*

Heart-stopping goodness... *snicker snicker drool*

Ahem... I mean, skulk skulk skulk.

_______________________________________________________________
"Got a headful of lightning
And a heart full of rain
And I know that I said
I'd never do it again
Oh and I love you sweet baby but I always take the long way home."

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Friday, December 19, 2008 9:41 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Safe! Welcome home!

SimonWho... Can we deep-fry those sausages rolled in bacon, for that heart-stopping special taste?

TheRealMe, Captain of the Sereni-Tree

But of course. I have Scottish blood in me so it'll come naturally.

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Saturday, December 20, 2008 2:31 PM

Mrs. Universe cringes and gags.
"Ewwww!!! That's a pipe-clogger for sure!"

She walks toward the baked goods table.
"Dibs on the mincemeat pie-aaaAAAAAh!"

Something big, purple and squishy tackles her.

"Arrggh! The second time today! Help me!"

She tries desperately to fight it off of her.

Mrs. Universe

MR. UNIVERSE---->

<----MRS. UNIVERSE

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Saturday, December 20, 2008 3:07 PM

A short, dark-haired woman wearing glasses runs up and prods the purple thing a few times with a pool cue. It backs off.

"Don't worry, Mrs Universe, that's just Bluefishie's squid-thing pet. By the way, I'm called Jet."

Mrs Universe stares at the large purple squid-thing. "I would like some ice cream, too, or some pie," Mrs Universe thinks. It is a very clear and precise thought, and it stays in her mind for a while.

"Hey, Bluefishie! Take care of your pet!" Jet yells.

Jet, Bride4
Bluefishie's purple squid-thing

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Saturday, December 20, 2008 3:15 PM

Mrs. Universe blows out a long breath.
"Thank you, Jet. It's nice to meet you.

She turns and looks at the purple squid-thing crawling away, then turns back to Jet and says to her, "I thought it was the Fruity Oaty Bar octopus following me from....oh, never mind."

She looks at Jet hard, and drops her voice to a low whisper. "Okay, this is going to sound weird, but I almost feel like I'm being watched....well, more like you're looking into my mind. Can you read minds?

Mrs. Universe

MR. UNIVERSE---->

<----MRS. UNIVERSE

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Saturday, December 20, 2008 3:48 PM

Jet raises an eyebrow as she looks up at Mrs Universe. "Well, I am an engineer, a tech priest, and a techno-mage, but no, I can't read minds... yet. Maybe someday."

Behind Jet, Mrs Universe can see Bluefishie's pet reaching a tentacle up to a table to grab some apple pie.

Jet, Bride4

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Saturday, December 20, 2008 4:15 PM

Mrs. Universe is about to reply, when she whirls around, unfolds a fan, and yelps, "Hey! Jet! Bluefishie's squidtrying to snatch the apple pie!"
She attempts to wave and slap the cephalopod away from the pie.

Mrs. Universe

MR. UNIVERSE---->

<----MRS. UNIVERSE

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Sunday, December 21, 2008 5:00 AM

MAI

Ooh holiday song time?

We must sing I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas!
(I taught it too the kids at day care last week most of them had never heard it. Now they can drive their whole families insane over the break!)

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Sunday, December 21, 2008 2:37 PM

Fantastic. Did you know that the singer of the song really did get a hippopotamus for Christmas? (Well, okay, her local zoo in Oklahoma did anyway as a result of the popularity of the song).

How about a chorus of All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth?

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Sunday, December 21, 2008 5:16 PM

Mrs. Universe scratches her head.

"Hmmm........maybe we should all yell 'You'll shoot your eye out!' while watching A Christmas Story, rather than sing!"

Mrs. Universe

MR. UNIVERSE---->

<----MRS. UNIVERSE

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Monday, December 22, 2008 10:13 AM

MAI

That's a great song too. Still, I'm already a bit caroled out. I was thinking maybe it's time to pass out presents? I'd liked to go first since I got you all something I just know is going to really please you. You'll have to forgive me, but I didn't have time to wrap them.

*digs into an enormous box pulling out some sort of sugar coma inducing ball like thingy.

*begins throwing the coconut covered cakes

SNOBALL FIGHT!

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Tuesday, December 23, 2008 3:18 AM

Simonwho twitches a little, then starts to channel Seryn... *whilst still dodging snoballs*

I think my scottish blood is far too diluted with tea by now to cope with deep fried sausage and bacon and I vote for yummy roasted veggies with my turkey.

hey, this could be fun...

*makes Simonwho do the funky chicken*

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Tuesday, December 23, 2008 3:34 AM

SERYN

*Leaving Simonwho Seryn flits back to her own body just intime to go into the kitchen and help defend the pies from the purple squid thing*

Quick! what do squid things like more than apple pie?

*starts waving random bits of food*

------------------------
Disclaimer: If Simonwho is daft enough not only to leave me in his house alone but to also allow me to use his computer he has to accept that at some point i'm going to forget to log out of his account before posting.
He should also have known that it was inevitable that I would make him dance the funky chicken at any given opportunity.

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Tuesday, December 23, 2008 4:19 AM

Rrrrrr. This is pretty, I must buy it. Wait, I can't find my phone. Whuhhhhh?

*shakes off the remaining traces of Seryn*

Right, giant squid eh?

Quick, give him a diary, he'll be filling it for hours.

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Tuesday, December 23, 2008 7:53 PM

Mrs. Universe is mesmerized by all of the strange events that she has just been witness to.

*she shakes her head*

*gets a bright idea, and rushes over to Seryn*

"Hey! Fruity Oaty Bars! If octopi like them, maybe weird squid-thingys like them, too!"

*hands Seryn 10 Fruity Oaty Bars, one for each of the squid-thingy's tentacles*

"That should keep him bus...HEY!"
*turns to squid-thingy, who has wrapped a tentacle around Mrs. U's ankle, and tries the pull her leg away from it's tentacle*

"Don't you grab my ankle! LET GO OF ME!"

Mrs. Universe

MR. UNIVERSE---->

<----MRS. UNIVERSE

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Wednesday, December 24, 2008 3:49 AM

Mrs Universe thinks to herself.

A purple tentacle creeps up to wrap around a Fruity Oaty bar.

Mrs Universe thinks.

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Wednesday, December 24, 2008 3:53 AM

"There! Thank you, Sparky. That should do it!" TheRealMe surveys his handiwork. A magnificent metal Christmas tree has been placed near the center of the Sereni-Tree's common room. It has very realistic branches and what look like pine needles. The robot Sparky, having shifted the display slightly, works to reinforce the base.

TheRealMe, Captain of the Sereni-Tree

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Wednesday, December 24, 2008 4:14 AM

A short, dark-haired woman stares upward in intense concentration as she fiddles with a remote control unit. Next to her an insectoid-shaped robot extends a long metal arm. Gripped by the hand at the end of this arm is a brightly glowing ball.

TheRealMe is next to her, also staring upward. "Close, Bride4. Close. There!"

The brightly glowing ball is placed at the very top of the metal Christmas tree. The robotic arm retracts.

"Whew! That was a bit tricky," the woman says as she relaxes and adjusts her glasses. She presses another control on her device. The robot scuttles off on some new task.

"Good work, Bride4," TheRealMe says with a smile. Now we have a star atop our tree. Uh... by the way, what is its power source?"

She shrugs. "Oh, that's just some cold fusion reaction bottle that I cooked up after watching the Iron Man movie."

TheRealMe, Captain of the Sereni-Tree
Jet, Bride4, Engineer, Tech-priest, and Techno-mage

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Wednesday, December 24, 2008 4:23 AM

Later, the Christmas tree is decorated and lit with many lights. Around its base are many presents. Some have names of existing crew, such as each of the Brides, the Yeti, Seryn, SimonWho, SafeAt2nd, Jake7, Mai, ThatWeirdGirl, Mrs Universe and others.

Other names are on different presents: Malicious, XanderLHarris, Jazaf, Ebonezer, McQ, Bluefishie, PsychicRiver, ScorpionRegent, Lissa, MontanaGirl, NeedlesEye, Jadehand, LMD, Rat, Cozen, CallMeAth, CallMeSerenity, SoulOfSerenity, CosmicFugitive, Static, Elwoodmom, LeopardFlan, Citizen, ItsAWash, TheGreyJedi, and others, even Gunhand.

Merry Christmas (or whatever holiday is appropriate for you)!

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Wednesday, December 24, 2008 6:18 AM

SERYN

Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays to everyone! (Those present and correct and those absentee wanderers wherever they are)

This, I feel, calls for Sherry!

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Wednesday, December 24, 2008 11:37 AM

LEOPARDFLAN

-materializes suddenly in the main deck, clothed in a deep green robes with leopard spotted hems and a little Santa hat with leopard fur (fake) instead of white fuzzy stuff-

Sorry I was detained for so long, guys, got kidnapped by some elves. I negotiated terms with them, and then ran out before they managed to decipher all the legalese talk. Anyways, Feliz Navidad!

-a sparkly banner with Feliz Navidad! appears and floats in the air while confetti and little wrapped boxes full of presents are showered-

Aiko Kitahoshi, passenger aboard the LoS, frequently awol due to the phenomina that is rl.

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Wednesday, December 24, 2008 1:04 PM

MAI

*stops the snoball fight momentarily

*runs around and gives everyone big squishy holiday squidges.

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Wednesday, December 24, 2008 3:18 PM

Merry Christmas, everybody!!

--------------
MAL: Everybody's makin' a fuss.
***********
"They just float out there, sending out raver breeding parties..."

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Wednesday, December 24, 2008 9:55 PM

THATWEIRDGIRL

*raises glass of heavily spiked nog*
To Gunhand in his kilt! To all our lost crew! To meeting new people! To seeing old friends! To our Mistress Malicious and Captain Ebo! But most of all, to TheRealMe for never abandoning the crew or the ship. Thank you for keeping her flying.

*downs nog* Ahhhh.

---
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."
-- Charlie Brown
www.thatcostumegirl.com
www.thatweirdgirl.com

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Friday, December 26, 2008 5:41 PM

Mrs. Universe grabs a glass of egg nog and chugs it down.
"Whoo! Hit me with another one!"

She grabs a Fruity Oaty Bar, rips it open, and begins to munch on it.

*swallows food*

"To all of my new friends! May the new year bring many joys and next to no heartaches!"

Mrs. Universe

MR. UNIVERSE---->

<----MRS. UNIVERSE

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Tuesday, December 30, 2008 6:02 AM

TheRealMe downs a glass of egg nog. "Thanks to you all! And thanks, TWG! It has been hit or miss over the years!"

TheRealMe, Captain of the Sereni-Tree

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Tuesday, December 30, 2008 7:18 AM

LEOPARDFLAN

-appears suddenly with the honey that she borrowed from the Browncoat Bar & Grill-

Happy New Year everyone!

Aiko Kitahoshi, passenger aboard the LoS, frequently awol due to the phenomina that is rl.

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Wednesday, December 31, 2008 12:25 PM

**jake7 looks up from inhaling Christmas Cookies, crumbs dropping from her chin, and chocolate smears on her cheeks**

Happy New Year's, everyone! and get these cookies AWAY from me! (though, the best thing about cyberspace, I can eat like crazy and not gain a pound!

)

--------------
MAL: Everybody's makin' a fuss.
***********
"They just float out there, sending out raver breeding parties..."

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Wednesday, December 31, 2008 2:07 PM

Good old Cyberspace cookies, double the taste, 0% fat.

Happy New Year to all the tree dwellers, here's to 2009!

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Wednesday, December 31, 2008 2:42 PM

LEOPARDFLAN

Happy New Years Eve Everyone!

Aiko Kitahoshi, passenger aboard the LoS, frequently awol due to the phenomina that is rl.

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Wednesday, December 31, 2008 5:22 PM

Mrs. Universe grabs a glass of some fruit-flavored champagne and raises it.

"To our friends, our families, our captain, and our freedom. May we enjoy more of each this new year!." Quietly, she adds, "And to my Mr. Universe, my brillant, handsome man."

She starts to sip the champagne, but ends up downing it instead.

"So, do we put lampshades on our heads, sing Auld Lang Syne, or watch the ball drop?"

Suddenly, a flash is seen in the corner of the room.

Mrs. Universe

MR. UNIVERSE---->

<----MRS. UNIVERSE

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Sunday, January 18, 2009 6:38 PM

Mrs. Universe wakes up on the couch, only to find that it is very cold and it seems that everyone has gone into stasis. She is TERRIFIED!

"Hello? Hello? HELLO? IS ANYONE ALIVE IN HERE?"

Mrs. Universe

MR. UNIVERSE---->

<----MRS. UNIVERSE

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Monday, January 19, 2009 12:52 AM

Blast, forgot to turn the heating on again.

*cranks the furnace*

Much better.

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Monday, January 19, 2009 4:19 PM

COZEN

Luvs ya all, and I miss y'all, too.

Nothing else to add, cuz I'm at a loss as to what's actually happening, heh.

Is there chocolate?

***

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Monday, January 19, 2009 8:18 PM

Cozen!

There is ALWAYS chocolate!

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Tuesday, January 20, 2009 7:03 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by cozen:
Nothing else to add, cuz I'm at a loss as to what's actually happening, heh.

**quirks an eyebrow**

Why do I find that hard to believe?

You've *always* got something up your sleeve, Cozen!

--------------
MAL: Everybody's makin' a fuss.
***********
"They just float out there, sending out raver breeding parties..."

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Friday, January 23, 2009 8:15 PM

Mrs. Universe whirls around.
"Oooh! Chocolate! May I have some?"

Mrs. Universe

MR. UNIVERSE---->

<----MRS. UNIVERSE

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Tuesday, January 27, 2009 5:39 AM

JAKEWOLFE

"What happened about me... izzit Christmas??"

Jake Wolfe, formerly known as BC2007 wakes up in the year 2009 on board the Sereni-Tree... "huh... sleeping on a couch.... oooo...." he moans , trying to get the kinks out of his back, neck, shoulders, legs, and everywhere else

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Tuesday, January 27, 2009 8:15 AM