The Forgotten "NOT a Guy/Girl" Clubhouse... by Malicious

TALK STORY

The Forgotten "NOT a Guy/Girl" Clubhouse...

POSTED BY: MALICIOUS
UPDATED: Thursday, March 17, 2005 17:03
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 14372
PAGE 2 of 4

Sunday, August 29, 2004 12:53 AM

I cleverly waited to come back until someone
else had done (most of...aaacchhooo, excuse me)
the dusting.

There any Guinness on tap in here?

fred1988

All my life I wanted to be somebody. I guess I should have been more specific.

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Sunday, August 29, 2004 9:18 AM

friend, sisters, countrywomen!!!

always wanted to say that. anyway, in explanation of my unexplained absence: (i'm not allowed to give specific details, but you're smart gals and will get the jist of it, i'm sure.) anyway, one day a certain someone-in-a-hat came to my door, saying i was needed. before i knew what was what, i was whisked away on a whirlwind adventure and, eventually, romance. needless to say, i saved the universe and faced down a whole world of unruly cabana boys.

that said, i think i may need a drink. something foamy.....

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

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Sunday, August 29, 2004 11:28 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
A hard lemonaide? Sure!

* The Real Me goes to the freezer, pulls out a can of frozen lemonaide concentrate, and hands it to Ebo. *

There! Frozen rock hard!

The Real Me

You are a terrible person, and i hate you.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

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Sunday, August 29, 2004 11:30 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by cageybee:
friend, sisters, countrywomen!!!

always wanted to say that. anyway, in explanation of my unexplained absence: (i'm not allowed to give specific details, but you're smart gals and will get the jist of it, i'm sure.) anyway, one day a certain someone-in-a-hat came to my door, saying i was needed. before i knew what was what, i was whisked away on a whirlwind adventure and, eventually, romance. needless to say, i saved the universe and faced down a whole world of unruly cabana boys.

that said, i think i may need a drink. something foamy.....

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

I think the reason for your absence was much more interesting then mine. I saved a blind horse while i was gone though. Do i get anything special for that?

Something foamy, eh? I could put my "hard lemonaide" in the blender for you, that would make it foamy...

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

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Sunday, August 29, 2004 11:34 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by ebonezer:

You are a terrible person, and i hate you.

Huh!

As a matter of fact, most of my friends think that I'm quite nice!

* The Real Me wanders away to pout... *

The Real Me

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Sunday, August 29, 2004 1:52 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:

roflmao

Hmmmm...

* The Real Me studies the situation. *

Logically, if she is "ROF", then it appears that ThatWeirdGirl has fallen out of her hammock.

* The Real Me picks up ThatWeirdGirl and puts her back into her hammock. Then he looks about, shrugs, and gives Mal-licious a gentle push. *

Say, do I get PAID for this?

The Real Me

No, you do not get paid in the sense of anyone giving you currency, but you do get to hang around with hot chicks, feed us, ensure we have libations and swing our hammocks. That should be reward enough, for a REAL man. Now, swing me, dammit!

Mal-licious

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Monday, August 30, 2004 5:39 PM

* Deep in thought, The Real Me absentmindedly hands Fred1988 a Guinness and gives Mal-licious and ThatWeirdGirl a push to get their hammocks rocking gently. *

Mal-licious, by "hang around with hot chicks" should I take you to mean "slavishly cater to the whims of the ladies who frequent this place"?

Not that I really have a problem with that or anything...

Hmmm.... I might have another idea. I'll be back.

* After glancing to make sure ThatWeirdGirl has not fallen out of her hammock again, The Real Me departs. *

The Real Me

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Monday, August 30, 2004 7:16 PM

Can't wait to hear about your idea. And who is falling out of hammocks?? Looks like a party I don't want to miss!

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Tuesday, August 31, 2004 3:20 AM

uh, therealme, i couldn't help that in your absence, i've stopped swaying gently in the breeze. now i'm not pointing fingers here, but.......

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

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Tuesday, August 31, 2004 6:35 AM

I'm not sure I want stacked hammocks...does anyone really want to stare at someone else's backside? (Unless it's one of the cabana boys, that is)

I see hard lemonade being thrown about, but I STILL haven't gotten my Margarita!!

What's a girl gotta do around here to have her needs met?

--------------
MAL: Everybody's makin' a fuss.

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Tuesday, August 31, 2004 12:33 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Mal-licious, by "hang around with hot chicks" should I take you to mean "slavishly cater to the whims of the ladies who frequent this place"?

TRM:

(clears throat--ahem)

YES.

Mal-licious

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Tuesday, August 31, 2004 12:40 PM

Jake7:

Here you go. (It's a margarita, it just looks like a beer)

Mal-licious

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Tuesday, August 31, 2004 4:27 PM

Hi, the fireflys are gonna play here for you one day if we ever get our act together.

go back to your swinging gently ion the breeze now.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

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Tuesday, August 31, 2004 4:51 PM

thank you much.

maybe i shouldn't do any swingin...in the hammock least ways...too dangerous.

i see guinness, anyone want a bruised pear?

www.thatweirdgirl.com

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Tuesday, August 31, 2004 6:20 PM

* The Real Me dashes into the clubhouse, sets every hammock rocking gently, puts a drink in every hand (sorry, Ebo -- a SOFT lemonade) and runs out again without breaking stride. *

The Real Me

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Wednesday, September 1, 2004 6:26 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Malicious:
Jake7:

Here you go. (It's a margarita, it just looks like a beer)

Mal-licious

Thanks, Mal!!

--------------
MAL: Everybody's makin' a fuss.

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Wednesday, September 1, 2004 6:00 PM

Hey, I have a question.

Since this is the NOT a Guy/Girl Clubhouse...

And since I am NOT a Girl...

Is there any reason that *I* cannot become a full member, swing in the hammocks, and have drinks brought to ME?

Aside, of course, from the fact that I seem to be the only one doing any work. Where is that person with the monkey tail?

The Real Me

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Wednesday, September 1, 2004 6:48 PM

therealme, until you can find someone with some sort of tail to fill your position, i'm pretty sure the numbers are against you. just because you lose doesn't mean you're wrong....but you still lose.

so, if i could get a push, maybe you can have a sip of my foamy choclately milky? drink.....unless you still feel like uprising.

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

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Wednesday, September 1, 2004 7:03 PM

Mmmmm....

Foamy...

Chocolatey...

Milky...

* The Real Me has a Homer Simpson moment, and pushes CageyBee in return for a sip of her drink. *

Ah, thanks. Gotta go work a bit more on my idea...

The Real Me

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Thursday, September 2, 2004 8:33 AM

yay, a push! *immediately falls out of her hammock* crap.

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

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Thursday, September 2, 2004 9:30 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Hey, I have a question.

Since this is the NOT a Guy/Girl Clubhouse...

And since I am NOT a Girl...

Is there any reason that *I* cannot become a full member, swing in the hammocks, and have drinks brought to ME?

Aside, of course, from the fact that I seem to be the only one doing any work. Where is that person with the monkey tail?

The Real Me

TRM,

You should probably check the archives to read the original threads. The gays, umm, I mean GUYS, have their own clubhouse. It's just that ours was better and the guys started hanging out in it and we decided to let them stay if they performed certain....services... for us. Should you no longer wish to....service....us, you may leave, with no penalty for early withdrawal. See how nice we are?

Mal-licious

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Thursday, September 2, 2004 3:48 PM

i think we need a plasma screen with surround sound to make our firefly watching expreince all the more enjoyable.

I think if TRM gets that for us, we might consider full membership, yes? No? Vote? No?

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

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Thursday, September 2, 2004 4:20 PM

* A beeping sound fills the clubhouse as The Real Me backs a truck up to the front door. The Real Me hops out of the driver’s seat, rushes to the rear of the truck, throws open its back door, and hooks the ramp in place. He hops up into the bay of the truck, and with some effort uses a dolly to wheel something down the ramp and maneuver it into the clubhouse. The person-sized cargo is covered with a sheet. *

Greetings, all! I have come up with something that might interest you! No, not a plasma TV!

* With a flourish, The Real Me pulls the sheet from the object, revealing it to be a humanoid robot made of metal and plastic. *

I present to you my own invention, the Mechana-Cabana-Boy 3000. Not only have I programmed in all of Asmiov’s Three Laws of Robotics (even the first one), but he also speaks with the voice of Alan Tudyk!

I call him “Sparky,” due to an unfortunate circuit-breaker incident that occurred during his construction. Happily, I discovered that copper pennies screwed into the fuse receptacles work just fine. In any case, I would expect that Sparky can fulfill the majority of the needs of the regulars here. I leave him to you! Good day!

* With that, The Real Me climbs back into the driver seat of the truck and speeds away, dragging the forgotten ramp behind. *

The Real Me

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Thursday, September 2, 2004 4:23 PM

Ok, yeah, thats better then a tv.

"Hey sparky, will YOU give me a Hard lemonaide?"

*the robot looks Ebo up and down and says* "No."

Damn technology, at least its a good hammock rocker.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

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Tuesday, September 7, 2004 6:14 PM

i say we keep ya! You're darn handy to have around and real friendly like.

twg smiles and hands trm a frozen lemonade. Cheers! Salut! and Sit down, relax, I'll push you for a while.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

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Wednesday, September 8, 2004 8:03 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Malicious:

TRM,

You should probably check the archives to read the original threads. The gays, umm, I mean GUYS, have their own clubhouse. It's just that ours was better and the guys started hanging out in it and we decided to let them stay if they performed certain....services... for us.

Oh, so the name "NOT a Guy/Girl Clubhouse" is not related to a gender confusion issue over Ebo, but is intended to be the "Not a Guy, but RATHER a Girl Clubhouse"?

* The Real Me nods. *

Yes, that makes some sense, now.

* Suddenly, The Real Me is startled, and looks about for Ebo. *

Oh, Ebo, I must hasten to add that I myself have never mistaken you for a boy. After all, I go to the third dentist. But I am aware of others having had that problem in the past.

Quote:

Should you no longer wish to....service....us, you may leave, with no penalty for early withdrawal. See how nice we are?

Mal-licious

* The Real Me ponders this carefully and realizes that, even considering the slavery issues, this is the best offer he has had in YEARS! The Real Me bows. *

Mal-licious, I am at your... service!

* The Real Me straightens up and looks thoughtful. *

But I don't have to call you "Mistress", do I?

The Real Me

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Wednesday, September 8, 2004 8:09 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:
i say we keep ya! You're darn handy to have around and real friendly like.

twg smiles and hands trm a frozen lemonade. Cheers! Salut! and Sit down, relax, I'll push you for a while.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

* Overcome with emotion, The Real Me rubs a single manly tear from his right eye. *

Thanks, TWG!

* The Real Me takes a bite out of his frozen lemonade, climbs up into a hammock, and relaxes. *

I think I'm going to like it here.

The Real Me

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Wednesday, September 8, 2004 10:22 AM

*twg peaks in thru the door to see everyone swaying gently and napping. sigh. twg dashes around to make sure all the occupants are okay.

you all are so cute and angelic.

I was stopping by to mix up some margaritas, but it can wait until after siesta.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

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Wednesday, September 8, 2004 11:32 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Quote:

Should you no longer wish to....service....us, you may leave, with no penalty for early withdrawal. See how nice we are?

Mal-licious

* The Real Me ponders this carefully and realizes that, even considering the slavery issues, this is the best offer he has had in YEARS! The Real Me bows. *

Mal-licious, I am at your... service!

* The Real Me straightens up and looks thoughtful. *

But I don't have to call you "Mistress", do I?

The Real Me

TRM,

Nah. You don't HAVE TO. But once in a while wouldn't kill you, would it?

Mal-licious

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Wednesday, September 8, 2004 2:48 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:

Oh, so the name "NOT a Guy/Girl Clubhouse" is not related to a gender confusion issue over Ebo, but is intended to be the "Not a Guy, but RATHER a Girl Clubhouse"?

* The Real Me nods. *

Yes, that makes some sense, now.

Now wait, i don't think thats right. Lemme give you the REAL history (well, as real as its gonna get anyway). It all started back when i got called a boy a few to many times (I probably wouldn't care that much, except i got called a boy a lot in real life when i was little, and i harbored some resentment). Anyhoo, I started makin some noise about this and Mal and some other girls joined me, and the "I am NOT a guy clubhouse" was born.

Then the boys found out how much fun we were having and made their OWN "I am NOT a girl clubhouse." Theres was even better then ours untill we stole their TV.

Then both clubhouses were inexplicable abandoned, and we all went on to...differnt, less fun, things.

Then (stop me if i'm wrong mal), Mal wanted to reivive the clubhouse thing, and she blened them together to make the "Forgoton NOT a girl/guy clubhouse" And this is what we got.

That wasn't very interesting was it.

Quote:

* Suddenly, The Real Me is startled, and looks about for Ebo. *

Oh, Ebo, I must hasten to add that I myself have never mistaken you for a boy. After all, I go to the third dentist. But I am aware of others having had that problem in the past.

Ah, the third dentest, he's good, but the second dentist will use laughing gas at the drop of a hat. Thats always good.

Now that fifth dentist, he's the one you'll wanna look out for...he can be sneaky and underhanded he can.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

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Wednesday, September 8, 2004 4:03 PM

party here friday night!!!

Fireflies have been invited to play.

Guinness, margaritas, wine, vodka, frozen and thawed lemonade for everyone.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

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Wednesday, September 8, 2004 7:53 PM

Say, do the "Fireflies" have any roadies? Sparky and I could help set things up for the band.

The Real Me

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Wednesday, September 8, 2004 8:36 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by ebonezer:

Ah, the third dentest, he's good, but the second dentist will use laughing gas at the drop of a hat. Thats always good.

Now that fifth dentist, he's the one you'll wanna look out for...he can be sneaky and underhanded he can.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

To be honest, I stopped going to the second dentist because she used laughing gas on herself as much as her patients. But hey, at least we had a good time trading hits!

And you are surely right about that fifth dentist. Alliance mole if I ever saw one. I bet he schedules root canals for no reason. Puts braces on straight teeth. Implants tracking devices in your back molar. You know the type.

The Real Me

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Thursday, September 9, 2004 3:26 PM

Ebo!

What an excellent synopsis! I was riveted. Two thumbs up and a 'round the world snap to you.

Mal-licious

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Friday, September 10, 2004 3:47 PM

the keg is ready. the roadies are settin up for the band. there's lots of lemonade stuff in the freezer. the guac and chips are tasty.

lalalalalalala, testing, 1, 2, 3, can anybody hear me.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

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Friday, September 10, 2004 4:01 PM

oh yeah

s tonite huh

Yeah! I'm here!

Shit. I forgot my guitar. I should go get that...um...now.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

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Friday, September 10, 2004 4:22 PM

* The Real Me, as self-promoted Chief Roadie, snaps his fingers. *

Sparky! Give the young lady a guitar!

* Sparky nods, extends his right arm twenty feet out the front door of the clubhouse to the back of the truck, and returns with a banjo. *

Ummmm...

* Muttering under his breath, The Real Me pulls out a screwdriver and a wrench and gets to work on Sparky. *

The Real Me

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Friday, September 10, 2004 4:27 PM

Is ok, RealYou, i got mine now. I practicly live here remember? Turns out it was shoved under the couch.

Speaking of which..I think i found out where that wierd smell is comming from. Could we get Sparky to clean under the couch before the party really kicks in?

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

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Friday, September 10, 2004 4:33 PM

woohoo!!!!

go sparky, go sparky!

hey trm, here's a guinness for your hard work.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

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Friday, September 10, 2004 4:38 PM

glad you found your guitar.

turn it up!!!

ebo rocks

www.thatweirdgirl.com

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Friday, September 10, 2004 4:39 PM

well, here I am rocking my ass off.

Where's the rest of my band?

And my free drinks.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

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Friday, September 10, 2004 4:40 PM

Hey, I want you all to meet my muppet, Intheshinnycircuslife. BE NICE TO HER! I mean it, no biting!

muppet, say something funny.
-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

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Friday, September 10, 2004 4:52 PM

here's my speciality....pepsimilk.

would ya like anything else?

flashing lights and screaming fans are ready to go.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

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Friday, September 10, 2004 4:56 PM

* The Real Me slams shut the door on Sparky's back, carefully secures it, then takes the guinness so kindly offered by ThatWeirdGirl. *

Sparky! Get me a saxophone!

* Sparky's arm extends again, but returns with a flute. The Real Me sips his drink and stares at the flute, puzzled. *

Sparky! Get me a flute, then!

* Sparky's arm extends again, but this time returns with a clarinet. *

Facinating. Every time I ask for an instrument, Sparky gets me something like it... but less cool. That means that only the very coolest instruments are beyond our reach.

* The Real Me shrugs, sets down his drink, picks up the banjo and starts the riff for "Deliverance", until he sheepishly realizes that it might be considered inappropriate. *

Sparky! Make yourself useful and sweep up all these dust bunnies!

The Real Me

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Friday, September 10, 2004 5:14 PM

INTHESHINYCIRCUSLIFE

Quote:
Originally posted by ebonezer:
Hey, I want you all to meet my muppet, Intheshinnycircuslife. BE NICE TO HER! I mean it, no biting!

muppet, say something funny.
-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

Ummm... funny? *bats eyelashes*

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Friday, September 10, 2004 5:18 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by ebonezer:
Hey, I want you all to meet my muppet, Intheshinnycircuslife. BE NICE TO HER! I mean it, no biting!

muppet, say something funny.
-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

Hi there, Intheshinycircuslife!

* The Real Me smiles and bends down, reaching out in order to shake hands with Ebo's muppet. Then he pauses for a moment, wondering which of them the talk about "biting" was for... *

The Real Me

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Friday, September 10, 2004 5:30 PM

i'll be nice.

come here often? wanna dance?

www.thatweirdgirl.com

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Friday, September 10, 2004 5:34 PM

* Startled, the Real Me gazes up at the alias of the post before his own last. *

Hmmmm... "Intheshinycircuslife"...

* The Real Me looks over at Ebo. *

How did you DO that? Wow. That would be so great if Sparky got a real working alias, too.

* The Real Me is quiet for a moment. *

Of course, that would make him less likely to obey my orders in the future...

The Real Me

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Friday, September 10, 2004 6:07 PM

Like sparky listens to you now anyway.

I think that robot of yours is more trouble then he's worth.

*Looks at robot with his head in the punch bowl*

I mean honestly.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

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Friday, September 10, 2004 6:35 PM

* The Real Me raises an eyebrow and glances down at his own drink. *

I THOUGHT that it had something of a metallic tang to it...

* The Real Me strides over to Sparky, grabs him by the antennae, and pulls the robot's face out of the punch bowl. *

Hey! That's enough of that! Now, spit it all back into the bowl for the rest of us!

The Real Me

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