Why do people want to fight on these threads? by Mangolo

TALK STORY

Why do people want to fight on these threads?

POSTED BY: MANGOLO
UPDATED: Tuesday, September 1, 2009 07:36
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Friday, August 28, 2009 1:46 AM

I know a few people have had this experience - myself included. Making me ready to bail out of here.

I post an opinion on a board and someone not only tears apart my opinion as if it were a challenge against their very existence, they tear into me as a person as well.

Recently, I was at a community meeting. A lot of people were starting to raise their voices and the tension started to build. My friend Lizby stood up and said, "we are all here for the good of the community. If we can't be civil and make this fun, we should all go home."

Wise words by a wise woman.

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=86085840444

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Friday, August 28, 2009 2:50 AM

GWEK

I've found that people like to fight on the internet. It's not a feature of threads here, but of every single forum I've ever been on.

I think it's much easier to care about the "good of the community" when you can actually SEE the community. The anonymity of the internet allows people to say things they would never say in "real life."

I think there's also the issue of nuance. When you're speaking to someone live, there are all manner of clue to pick up on beyond the literal words (facial expression, body language, etc). Even on the phone, there's tone, pauses, etc. ON the internet, nothin' but the cold hard words, leaving interpretation solely to the message's recipient.

www.stillflying.net: "Here's how it might have been..."

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Friday, August 28, 2009 3:00 AM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!

We all come here for different reasons....

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

But all kidding aside, that is in part the reason for such animosity and misunderstanding. We all do come from different perspectives, and different ideas of what is 'good' for the community.

My particular views, political and personal, are based on my individualist mindset. ( I won't bore anyone w/ the specifics ) I've found that merely trying to express my views alone generates a response by some, which has nothing to do w/ the topic at hand, or my take on the issue being discussed. And I'm guilty of doing exactly that myself, jumping on another's comments before I've fully understood what it is they're saying, or at LEAST allowing them to finish their point.

(We) are an interesting species. Capable of such beautiful dreams and such terrible nightmares

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Friday, August 28, 2009 3:44 AM

HELL'S KITTEN

Quote:
Originally posted by Mangolo:
I post an opinion on a board and someone not only tears apart my opinion as if it were a challenge against their very existence, they tear into me as a person as well.

ZOMG!!!1! WTF iz wr0ng wiff U?!?!?1
UR lam3 & UR opini0nz R st00p1d!!1one!

Yeah, see, basically... people suck. They've been so wrapped up in their own little insanity known as the RWED area (more often than not), that they don't remember what the real world is like. So they see everything as an attack since their claws are already extended; big sharks in a little pond; an E-version of blood sport (eBloodSport?). It's made this place miserable on many occasions, and I'm sorry it happened to you. It's a bit... ironic?... that fans of a show surrounding independence get vicious when someone displays their independence. Avoiding those threads is the only way I've found that works.

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Friday, August 28, 2009 5:23 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

My opinion would be: Be grateful. I came from another board where, not only was anything posted from one side immediately attacked by the other, but the wingnuts were "in charge", in that they GANGED UP on any dissenting views, made it personal, were pretty damned vicious, and would go on attacking the person, with a couple of people defending, and it virtually always devolved into a thread filled with nothing but nastiness and personal attacks.

The "clique" runs things and no effort can stop them, especially as there are few willing to try in their version of the "Real World Topics" forum, so that forum is pretty much their territory and no serious debates ensue there.

ANY mention of one's personal life becomes fodder to attack them, and the arguments become senseless and ridiculously derrogatory, with one side attacking and the other attacking back, and one can be singled out by one group for unmerciful, continuing attacks. I ran in the end, after trying several different tactics to deal with it. I'm not the first.

And it's a Firefly site, to boot.

I agree with the difficulties of the internet, I think we've all run into them. But when it goes beyond misunderstanding to deliberate attack, and continues unabated, it's a pisser.

I also agree with the anonymity...especially in that it makes it easy for trolls to be as nasty as they want to without any sense of responsibility. They came into any discussion not involving themselves and turned it into a political battle. It's a "clique" over there, to the point where anyone daring to disagree becomes a target and is either forced into silence or run off.

This place is heaven in contrast. Yes, it devolves into nastiness, but not always, there are opposing sides presented reasonably, so it's more evenhanded, and the points people make are often valid and reasoned, and I'm very, VERY grateful to find it.

I understand what you're saying, believe me, and I wish it weren't so. But here there is a choice to go to other topics being discussed where it doesn't get nasty; I appreciate that. Where I came from, there were frequent calls for peace and I, too, posted at one time the question as to why it got so nasty. Anyone voicing those opinions is immediately labeled as trying to "control" the place, their suggestions/questions dismissed, and it goes on unabated. It's very sad to see, especially among a community which shares the love of something special and wants to get to know others of their ilk.

I do realize we come from different points of view, but it's a shame those different points can't keep from devolving into personal attacks and fights. I guess that's just the way it is. Trust me; this place is far superior to some others, tho'!

________________________
Together we are greater than the sum of our parts

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Friday, August 28, 2009 6:03 AM

DEADLOCKVICTIM

...people are the worst, Jerry, the worst...

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Friday, August 28, 2009 6:06 AM

BYTEMITE

It actually wasn't the RWED, Niki.

Urgh. All I can say, Mangolo, is don't take it personally. Everybody encounters him at least once, and yes, he is a little bit... Harsh. I think that four years and no new Firefly has kind of frustrated him, and he takes that out here.

Either that, or he's got other things going on. Or heck, really, that's the first time I've ever seen him tear into someone when it wasn't a Firefly related thing, but maybe he just doesn't bother with tact. What I do know is that he doesn't seem to realize he's being as harsh as he is.

So, it's not intentional. Plus, he doesn't actually come around that often. Think he's moved on to other things.

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Friday, August 28, 2009 6:29 AM

FREMDFIRMA

Niki has a point though, I've been round the bound since the days of dialup text BBS and ANSI graphics, and folk were nasty then too.

Here, with the exception of RWED, where people go to deliberately and intentionally engage in that sort of thing, kind of like our own version of the Thunderdome, or Mosh Pit, people generally are way more decent to each other than most sites of this type, overall.

I'm sorry that you ran into someone who flaked out on you, but just like the crew of serenity, we do at times have some issues, don't we ?

Try not to throw anyone out an airlock though, waste of good air, yanno ?

That said, better than (insert garbage pit of a site here) isn't exactly a good yardstick to measure ourselves by, and for those that *didn't* come here to fight, we shouldn't be inflictin that upon them.

We're browncoats, we can do the impossible, so gettin along, heck, that should be easy, shouldn't it ?

Well, theoretically, anyways...

How bout I share my pizza and we don't give em the satisfaction of seein anyone upset over it - that work for you ?

-F

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Friday, August 28, 2009 7:55 AM

STOWEAWAY

I heard a very un-PC statement that covers that sort of thing. You might get a laugh out of it so I'll repeat it here.....

Please don't flame me for it.

"Arguing on the Internet is like competing in the Special Olympics. You might win but you're still retarded."

So whenever you see folks ranting & raving on here or anywhere else, just try to see them as the little idiot child. It might make you smile instead of angry.
Personally, I don't argue with anyone that I can't buy a beer for afterward. Them's not kosher fighting rules.

=====================================================================
Check out http://www.americasfunniesttshirts.com for hilarious shirts at a great price.

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Friday, August 28, 2009 8:31 AM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)

Yup, we *generally* try to keep these kinds of threads firmly in the RWED area, which I've said for a while really should be renamed "Fight Club", because that's what so much of it really is.

And when I say "we", I specifically include myself in that group, as I'm at least as guilty of it as anyone else on this site. I've let it slip over to a few threads on the non-RWED areas, but I generally try not to do that. Some of us have VIGOROUS disagreements about politics and social issues, but at the end of the day, we're Browncoats, so we all band together when the (ahem) serenity of our li'l boat is threatened, whether it be from without or from within.

Mike

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Friday, August 28, 2009 10:10 AM

MANGOLO

Thanks everyone for your responses. This kind of reaction makes me feel like there is a sense of community here.

There is a sense that when you start to get to know people here for the love of this show and others that you want to extend that friendship and express things about your own life - IRL.

Peace yall. And again, mahalo nui loa. (Hawaiian for literally "a big long thank you")

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Friday, August 28, 2009 8:13 PM

BORIS

Just keep stating your opinion. Anyone that wants to fight about it is probably someone who wants to fight or argue in the real world and can't for some reason.
I like the varied opinions I read on this sight, and I like that generally everyone's opinion is valued. Don't worry about the fighters....there's gotta be a Jayne in every network

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Saturday, August 29, 2009 7:25 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

What wawsn't the RWED, Bite? Oh, you mean it was a specific situation that she was discussing? I thought it was a general statement. I'm sorry you were dissed outside the RWED, love, that truly does suck. At least down there, you know what you're getting into, but I gotta say again, even THERE it's not nearly as bad as some.

And of course, there are always "those" people on virtually any site. There was some bit in West Wing that dealt with Josh getting into a site pertaining to him specifically, and the exchange between him and his assistant, as she tried to get him not to get involved, made me laugh. Have to look it up--much similar to that quote (which I adored, by the way!).

Internet is a dangerous place; it forces us most of the time to take responsibility for keeping ourownselves safe, which is hard to do in some cases/places. It's especially a shame to me that people who so love FF/S behave that way, but as has been said, we're all different...

And HEY! No comparing Jayne, he wouldn't engage in that stuff (unless he was paid, of course!).

________________________
Together we are greater than the sum of our parts

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Saturday, August 29, 2009 7:27 AM

OPPYH

Much like reality television, fighting makes for good ratings. Just kidding, and I really couldn't tell ya.

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Sunday, August 30, 2009 10:22 PM

JEWELSTAITEFAN

I'm not sure where or who you're referring to, but there are some contributary factors involved in the general "discussion" which can seem more like arguing.

Sometimes we make a post, then leave the board for a day. Then after some replies, somebody hijacks the thread and takes it another direction - sometimes not intentionally, just trying to add to or explain the OP, so by the time we come back to see the results, somebody has taken our statements out of context and has taken the thread off on a tangent.
And, as many have said before me, the internet needs a Sarcastic Font.
Hope you stay despite the bumps and bruises.

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Sunday, August 30, 2009 10:48 PM

FILLYGIRL

Operative: "Its worse than you know..." Mal: "It usually is."

Nothing personnel(sp) people BUT, the answer seems simple, don't post something that can be taken wrong,...the old saying REALLY applys on the interwebs,....'if you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all'

we've had several people post in the RW threads then go on about what happens,...Mango if you got zapped in a thread other than RW, I apologise for the jerk. I do not understand why this is a surprise...I have a great way of doing it,...I post, then I never go back, let them rant with out me.
JMHO

Chaplain of the 76th Independant Battalion

Do not bother dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup!

...it's worse than you know...Operative
...it usually is.....Mal

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Monday, August 31, 2009 11:38 PM

JEWELSTAITEFAN

So you were referring to Sigma in the Deep End thread, is that right?

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Tuesday, September 1, 2009 12:03 AM

MANGOLO

Yup. And he just wrote "pop science books are no substitute for proper (advanced) education."

It's hard not to just leave it. It seems like that would be saying he is correct. I went with a scholarship to one of the top 20 science universities in the world to study astrophysics and applied mathematics. I did my time with that stuff and he writes "I should also point out that I know that it sucks when people point out that you don't know what you're talking about."

He continued on after that to poke fun at everyone else on the board. Calling everyone who believe in psychic phenomena 'delusional'.

Just a bummer all the way around. I tried to change the tone of the thread with some pics- me with wild spinner dolphins from 2 Thanksgivings ago:

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Tuesday, September 1, 2009 6:40 AM

BYTEMITE

To be fair, Sigma really isn't a bad guy. And I shouldn't have warned people off from him like that, because I've had some very civil conversations with him before. I also shouldn't have spoken for him like I did, because I might have given people the wrong impression.

All I was trying to say is that, from what I can tell, Mangolo, it really wasn't meant to be personal. There's other things that he's told me about that are going on, which is why he responded that way. We all really can coexist, even if we have our disagreements.

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Tuesday, September 1, 2009 7:36 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

Oh, wow, the photos...sigh...I'm envious!!

I had the opoportunity to both swim with and walk around supporting wild dolphins via rehab years ago, and I adore them, absolutely adore them. But to swim with them in the wild...what a dream come true!

________________________
Together we are greater than the sum of our parts

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