River vs Buffy by Fredikayllow

FIREFLY CHINESE TRANSLATIONS

River vs Buffy

POSTED BY: FREDIKAYLLOW
UPDATED: Monday, March 29, 2010 09:04
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Saturday, November 5, 2005 11:43 PM

Okay, i don't know if I'm posting this in the right place, or if this has been done before, but i wanted to know what you think:

River and Buffy get into a fight.
No weapons- only bare hands.
Who would win??

No Power In The 'Verse Can Stop Me

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Saturday, November 5, 2005 11:54 PM

11THHOUR

Quote:
Originally posted by Fredikayllow:
Okay, i don't know if I'm posting this in the right place, or if this has been done before, but i wanted to know what you think:

River and Buffy get into a fight.
No weapons- only bare hands.
Who would win??

Cage match? Is there mud involved?

Interesting question. Joss has made them both so awesomely kick-ass that I fear they'd both get the livin' heck beat out of them.

There's also the extra bonus in River's favor with that "I can kill you with my brain" ability. That could come in very handy when kicking someone in the head just isn't working fast enough.

Actually, I'd like to see them both fighting together against a pack of Reaver-Vamps. Two Joss universes together!

11th Hour

________________________________________________

"Because teenage pranks are fun when you're about to die!" - Hoban Washburne

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Sunday, November 6, 2005 3:09 AM

PHOEBE

River tops Buffy on everything except strength, I'd say. Which means she can just outmaneouver Buffy so Buffy doesn't have chance to get the drop on her.

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Sunday, November 6, 2005 3:10 AM

PHOEBE

Quote:
Originally posted by 11thHour:
Quote:
Originally posted by Fredikayllow:
Okay, i don't know if I'm posting this in the right place, or if this has been done before, but i wanted to know what you think:

River and Buffy get into a fight.
No weapons- only bare hands.
Who would win??

Cage match? Is there mud involved?

Interesting question. Joss has made them both so awesomely kick-ass that I fear they'd both get the livin' heck beat out of them.

There's also the extra bonus in River's favor with that "I can kill you with my brain" ability. That could come in very handy when kicking someone in the head just isn't working fast enough.

Actually, I'd like to see them both fighting together against a pack of Reaver-Vamps. Two Joss universes together!

11th Hour

________________________________________________

"Because teenage pranks are fun when you're about to die!" - Hoban Washburne

Reavamps!

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Monday, November 7, 2005 7:16 AM

JOSSISAGOD

Buffy's strong but River is faster and a better fighter. River is also more purposeful in her movements, as well as the whole "I can kill you with my brain," thing mentioned by 11thhour. I believe River would wipe the floor with Buffy.

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Monday, November 7, 2005 9:20 AM

MIRAND

Besides her exceptional intelligence and maybe training River is in other aspects just a "normal" human with human vulnerabilities.

Buffy on the other hand has superhuman strength and resistances. Also some intelligence.

If River has no tools to translate her inteligence in something lethal she has just the option to beat the hell out of Buffe without getting hit.
After some minutes her stamina would end this. After all Buffy just needs a single hit to kill her.

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Monday, November 7, 2005 9:21 AM

SUICIDALDUCKLING

I would give the edge to Buffy. Buffy's got super powers while River doesn't, other than her psychic abilities. Those psychic abilities will help make up for her lack of super abilities, but Buffy would eventually wear her down. The right environment however may swing things in River's favor. Ahhhh, this reminds of the Great Caveman vs Astronaut Debate of 2004.

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Monday, November 7, 2005 9:22 AM

SUICIDALDUCKLING

Quote:
Originally posted by SuicidalDuckling:
I would give the edge to Buffy. Buffy's got super powers while River doesn't, other than her psychic abilities. Those psychic abilities will help make up for her lack of super abilities, but Buffy would eventually wear her down. The right environment however may swing things in River's favor. Ahhhh, this reminds of the Great Caveman vs Astronaut Debate of 2004.

In other words, what Mirand just said.

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Monday, November 7, 2005 10:01 AM

PHOEBE

Quote:
Originally posted by SuicidalDuckling:
I would give the edge to Buffy. Buffy's got super powers while River doesn't, other than her psychic abilities. Those psychic abilities will help make up for her lack of super abilities, but Buffy would eventually wear her down. The right environment however may swing things in River's favor. Ahhhh, this reminds of the Great Caveman vs Astronaut Debate of 2004.

Intelligent, telepathy, and enhanced physical abilities. She may not have super strength and enhanced healing ability but I'd say her fight with the reavers shows that she has a fair amount of stamina - or could you do that?

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Monday, November 7, 2005 10:56 AM

SUICIDALDUCKLING

Quote:
Originally posted by Phoebe:
Quote:
Originally posted by SuicidalDuckling:
I would give the edge to Buffy. Buffy's got super powers while River doesn't, other than her psychic abilities. Those psychic abilities will help make up for her lack of super abilities, but Buffy would eventually wear her down. The right environment however may swing things in River's favor. Ahhhh, this reminds of the Great Caveman vs Astronaut Debate of 2004.

Intelligent, telepathy, and enhanced physical abilities. She may not have super strength and enhanced healing ability but I'd say her fight with the reavers shows that she has a fair amount of stamina - or could you do that?

Never said i could do that. River is what i would call a peak athlete. She's been trained to the limit of human abilities, but she's still human. Buffy has the power of demons in her blood. River, and the reavers for that matter, cannot compare. Give River a gun or have them fight in a deserted building, where intelligence (and psychic ability) are more useful, then River would win, but Buffy would make it challenging for her. Throw them in an empty room with nothing but their bare hands and Buffy will eventually win.

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Tuesday, November 8, 2005 8:10 PM

HOBANIWASHBURNE

These are all making for a very interesting read. I have to admit... Despite Buffy's great powers.... River would come out ahead.

Of course, Buffy has one ability that no one in the Serenity 'verse seems to have in common with the Angel/Buff camp: Coming back from the dead.

Buffy could come back and back and back to get River until she finally won. :D

"Tis the season for the fireplace. Fa la la la la. La la. La la.

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Tuesday, November 8, 2005 8:19 PM

GIANTEVILHEAD

River's smart enough to bring a gun to the fight.

"I swallowed a bug." -River Tam

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Tuesday, November 8, 2005 8:27 PM

HOBANIWASHBURNE

Heheee. True. She would bring a gun... but would she run out of bullets if Buffy kept springing up alive again? :: grinz in silliness ::

"Therapy is expensive. Bubble wrap is cheap. The choice is yours."

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Tuesday, November 8, 2005 8:32 PM

3HEADEDMONKEY

catfight with 2 hot chicks. who would win?

the fans. :D

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Wednesday, November 9, 2005 6:53 AM

JOSSISAGOD

the only reason Buffy would keep getting back up would be if she had Zander or Willow on the side-lines waiting for her to die! River may bring a gun but she wouldn't need to use it. As I remember Buffy refused the demonic powers the first Watchers(or whatevertherenameswhere) tried to give to her, the powers Buffy has are increased speed, strengh and the ability to sense demons and vamps. I think River has the same increased speed and strength Buffy had, but she got it in a more realistic way.

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Wednesday, November 9, 2005 7:06 AM

CHRISISALL

I think the REAL question is: could Buffy wax all those Reavers?
I'd give it to River, no matter what Joss said.

Reader Chrisisall

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Thursday, November 10, 2005 8:23 PM

SHINYTALENT

River would definitely beat Buffy

1. She's crazy- that means she's even more inventive than Buffy.
2. Who knows what the Alliance unleashed when they fiddled with River's brain "I can kill you with my brain" and yeah Ok Buffy has slayer talents but I still don't think it's enough to beat River.

"Crazy beats big every time"

The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems.

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Thursday, November 10, 2005 8:50 PM

VADERNPINK

Whatever, man Buffy would kick rivers ass if she wanted to, but why waste her time fighting her,she has better things to do like saving the world

vadernpink

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Thursday, November 10, 2005 8:52 PM

GIANTEVILHEAD

River was trained to be an assassin so she should be able to eliminate her target as quickly and as efficiently as possible. Buffy on the other hand has a habit of making witty and sometimes stinging comments during her fights because as we all know the greatest weakness of demons is their pride and those cutting remarks are far more painful than punches and axe wounds.

"I swallowed a bug." -River Tam

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Saturday, November 12, 2005 2:50 PM

FREDIKAYLLOW

i see we have some strong differences of opinion here. i didn't think anybody would respond actually.

and yes, i actually got the idea from the great caveman/astronaut debate.

i personally reckon river would beat buffy, but probably die from internal bleeding afterward (buffy can hit pretty hard)

No Power In The 'Verse Can Stop Me

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Saturday, November 12, 2005 3:00 PM

CAUSAL

Quote:
Originally posted by 11thHour:
There's also the extra bonus in River's favor with that "I can kill you with my brain" ability

I don't think River can kill anyone with her brain. My take on the "kill you with my brain" comment was that River (being psychic) knew that nothing would scare Jayne more than the idea that something could kill him without him having any chance of fighting back against it. River can't kill anyone with her brain. Were that the case, why fist fight all those Reavers? Why not just telepathically zap them? Remember, Joss said psychic was the furthest from reality he was willing to go, and I would suggest that there's a mighty big leap from plain psychic to psychokinetic killing.

________________________________________________________________________
I wish I had a magical wish-granting plank.

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Saturday, November 12, 2005 3:04 PM

GIANTEVILHEAD

Killing someone with the brain does not necessarily mean psychokinesis, it could just be telepathy, telling someone’s brain to shut down their heart and lungs.

"I swallowed a bug." -River Tam

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Saturday, November 12, 2005 3:47 PM

CAUSAL

Even if I grant you that, River still cannot kill anyone with her brain. She'd have done in the fight with the Reavers, would have been more efficient. Woulda done to the Alliance troopers came crashing through the wall afterward (instead of tightening her grip on her weapons). Nope, she can't do it; she was trying to scare Jayne (and it worked) and Joss was trying to make us laugh (and it worked).

________________________________________________________________________
I wish I had a magical wish-granting plank.

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Saturday, November 12, 2005 4:01 PM

MINDREADER

no no no fred from angel the physco girl in the 8th dimension or w/e vs. river that wuld b cwl!!

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Saturday, November 12, 2005 4:07 PM

LIGHTMEDARK

River wins, hands down.

...but then again I can't stand SMG

---
inch towards daylight

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Sunday, November 13, 2005 3:42 AM

11THHOUR

Quote:
Originally posted by Causal:
Quote:
Originally posted by 11thHour:
There's also the extra bonus in River's favor with that "I can kill you with my brain" ability

I don't think River can kill anyone with her brain. My take on the "kill you with my brain" comment was that River (being Psychic) knew that nothing would scare Jayne more than the idea that something could kill him without him having any chance of fighting back against it. River can't kill anyone with her brain. Were that the case, why fist fight all those Reavers? Why not just telepathically zap them? Remember, Joss said psychic was the furthest from reality he was willing to go, and I would suggest that there's a mighty big leap from plain psychic to psychokinetic killing.

Gee, you're discussing my post as though I was being serious.

Didn't the mud wrestling, cage match, kicking in the head, et.al. (everything not in the section you quoted), goofiness give away that I was just having fun with the thread topic?

________________________________________________

"Because teenage pranks are fun when you're about to die!" - Hoban Washburne

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Sunday, November 13, 2005 3:46 AM

CAUSAL

No, no, that much I get. But the killing with the brain thing has been bothering me for a spell, so I think I just needed to vent. Sorry to be serious in a funny thread.

I'd like to second the motion on the mud wrestling.

________________________________________________________________________
I wish I had a magical wish-granting plank.

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Sunday, November 13, 2005 10:10 PM

11THHOUR

Quote:
Originally posted by Causal:
No, no, that much I get. But the killing with the brain thing has been bothering me for a spell, so I think I just needed to vent. Sorry to be serious in a funny thread.

That's alright.

On the whole 'killing with my brain' thing, I thought Joss was alluding to that in those viral marketing online vids. The gaging, bleeding, and slow, gruesome demise drama... but it seems to take a few minutes. Perhaps River doesn't use that ability in a fight scenario because it takes too long?

Quote:
I'd like to second the motion on the mud wrestling.

Yep... barefoot, full contact, mud wrestling...

Of course in the case of a Reaver battle... blood wrestling...

11th

________________________________________________

"Because teenage pranks are fun when you're about to die!" - Hoban Washburne

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Monday, November 14, 2005 2:34 AM

CAUSAL

Quote:
Originally posted by 11thHour:
On the whole 'killing with my brain' thing, I thought Joss was alluding to that in those viral marketing online vids. The gaging, bleeding, and slow, gruesome demise drama... but it seems to take a few minutes. Perhaps River doesn't use that ability in a fight scenario because it takes too long?

If you watch the vids (if I remember correctly), River asks for the interviewer for his pen. River didn't kill the man with her brain. She plunged his pen into his throat. That would explain both the gurgling and the length of time. And it's more in keeping with the tone of the 'verse.

________________________________________________________________________
I wish I had a magical wish-granting plank.

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Monday, November 21, 2005 5:09 PM

MAYLAFAY

Okay this is what I think. River being able to read minds would be able to "see" anything coming. Like me playing a chess game, and I already know what the other person is going to move.

Buffy doesn't have that, she has quick reflexes but that's all.

As for who would win It'd be River. Buffy is powerful, but emotionly unstable if she's not sure what she's fighting for. If you want an example put in any season, ans see how dependent she's on emotions/friends

As for River.... Well she's insane which gives her the unpreditable point.

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Wednesday, November 23, 2005 5:57 AM

SHADO

No contest at all. River would thrash Buffy. Shes much better in every aspect, except as mentioned before, strenght. But does that really matter when you have so many other weapons?, no it dont.

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Wednesday, November 23, 2005 6:38 AM

BLACKOUTNIGHTS

I agree with Maylafly. River would know every move that's coming beforehand no matter how many times Buffy rose from the dead.

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Wednesday, November 23, 2005 7:10 AM

QUEENOFTHENORTH

I'd say Buffy, cuz of the superhuman strength and stamina. She could just wait until River tires out. Not to mention she's got more experience. As for the emotionally unstable thing, River's more emotionally unstable than Buffy. The only reason why she fights the Reavers is because Simon and the others are pretty much done for. Up until that point she's just cowering in the corner. But it would sure be an interesting fight either way

.

Like books? Go to this thread: http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=14862
to find out how to buy mine!

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Sunday, November 27, 2005 9:27 AM

MELMOTH

Buffy vs. River?
Depends. Buffy doesn't start to sleep when you say her some certain words.

But without that, probably River. She is more ruthless and conditioned.

Melmoth

"He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

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Monday, November 28, 2005 9:24 PM

FIREFLYSLAYER

River has some sick moves, but Buffy has supernatural slayer-perks on her side. She will hit harder and be able to take blows better, because she's the Slayer. River would have normal human strength and react the same way to a hit as any other normal person. So I'd have to go with Buffy on this one, even though River is more fun to watch fighting.

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Tuesday, December 20, 2005 9:45 PM

DARIENDAYSHADOW

Quote:
Originally posted by 3HeadedMonkey:
catfight with 2 hot chicks. who would win?

the fans. :D

I agree with you 100 percent.

mwahahahaha

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Tuesday, December 20, 2005 10:30 PM

VIKING

mother off stupidenty:)

this makes as muche sense as talking about wheter the Trekk or EA B5 ships are more powerfull

it really doesnt matter they both work in ther own vers

The wages of sin are death, but the hours are good and the perks are fantastic.

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Wednesday, December 21, 2005 7:59 PM

RUXTON

Buffy wins, hands down.

But River might have made a good slayer....

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Wednesday, December 21, 2005 9:06 PM

BLACKRABBIT

Oh please...River survived life in an Alliance Torture Facility with no help.

Buffy only had to survive a horny Spike, still died twice, and had to have her friends constantly helping her.

Victory: River in the 3rd Round.

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Thursday, December 22, 2005 4:05 PM

TAMGAL

Of course River would win, no Duh!

They weren't cows inside. They were waiting to be, but they forgot. Now they see the sky and they remember what they are.

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Thursday, December 22, 2005 7:29 PM

DARIENDAYSHADOW

River would

buffy.
buffy after river gets done.

me when river wins

Here is spike and angel

i run to river

Here she is

I'm a leaf in the wind, watch how I soar"

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Thursday, December 22, 2005 7:32 PM

TAMGAL

how nice

"They weren't cows inside. They were waiting to be, but they forgot. Now they see the sky and they remember what they are." -River, Safe

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Thursday, December 22, 2005 7:41 PM

DARIENDAYSHADOW

Its the truth
I wanna meet summer. And Jewel. Everyone. But them mostly

I'm a leaf in the wind, watch how I soar"
-Wash- pilot of serenity

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Friday, December 23, 2005 11:32 AM

TAMGAL

me too, Summer Glau and Jewel Staite are awesome!

"They weren't cows inside. They were waiting to be, but they forgot. Now they see the sky and they remember what they are." -River, Safe

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Friday, December 23, 2005 11:39 AM

SPINLAND

Quote:
Originally posted by Giantevilhead:
River's smart enough to bring a gun to the fight.

ROFL! That gets my vote for the definitive answer!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"That's what governments are for, [to] get in a man's way." -- Malcolm Reynolds

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Friday, December 23, 2005 12:20 PM

DATALESS

What if River is a slayer? That would explain why she is like nothing the allaince has seen and ideal for defense deployment. She might have had the mental aspects of the slayers which was enhanced by the mental stripping. She was about the same age when Buffy was called to be a slayer. Buffy can also be described as a creature of extraordinary grace. Though not quite crazy she has her share of problems and I think that is part of the curse of being a slayer. While I think that River might be a slayer either way, I think she would still kick Buffy's ass blindfolded (just to be clear that River is the one with the blindfold on.) Now Faith on the other hand...

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Friday, December 23, 2005 1:04 PM

DARIENDAYSHADOW

Dude Faith would get smeared all over the gorram walls. She is a walking piece of gossah. :evil
River Rox

I'm a leaf in the wind, watch how I soar"

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Saturday, December 24, 2005 9:18 PM

BLACKRABBIT

River gorramit. Why we still talkin' 'bout what's already been decided?

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Sunday, December 25, 2005 5:29 PM

USMC

Hmm, I don't know if you all know it or not, but Buffy is a character based on a TV show, so Hands Down....River wins!

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Sunday, December 25, 2005 6:42 PM

DATALESS

Quote:
Originally posted by USMC:
Hmm, I don't know if you all know it or not, but Buffy is a character based on a TV show, so Hands Down....River wins!

I dont know know if you know but Buffy was orignally a motion picture, all be it horrific one but still a movie. So who wins now? The canceled show made in to a movie a sadly unsuccessful movie or the very, very bad movie and into a cult hit TV series.

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