so called disabilities by boris

REAL WORLD EVENT DISCUSSIONS

so called disabilities

POSTED BY: BORIS
UPDATED: Monday, August 17, 2009 15:36
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 1361
PAGE 1 of 1

Saturday, August 15, 2009 6:34 PM

I'm interested on knowing your sincere reactions to folks who are regarded as disabled or abnormal. e.g. I have Tourette's. this involves some occasionally embarassing behavioral anomalies and pain and exhaustion due to constantly moving my joints, but it doesn't affect me cognitively or intellectually. However it seems to influence how other people interact with me and that saddens me even though I accept people generally are not aware they are creating discomfort where there shouldn't be any. For instance some people make assumptions about what they think I'm going to be like before I've even opened my mouth. Alot of them think I'm going to be strange (not in a good way), or intellectually impaired. they then let those assumptions color the way they interact with me...so I don't deal with them unless I have to. My friends on the other hand are all people who have never let the twitches and quirks blind them and treat me the way they'd treat anyone else this includes not tolerating inappropriate behaviour. How do you guys react to people like me? and why? I'm just interested to know.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Saturday, August 15, 2009 8:56 PM

PEACEKEEPER

Keeping order in every verse

Boris,I sympathise with your position(although I don't really speak from personal experience).I think a lot of the problem is to do with not wanting to offend.As much as every "challenged" person wants to be treated with the same lassitude as everybody else,it is just natural that the "normal" person wants to watch what he says and does so as not to be seen as insensitve.And all of us are initially uncomfortable with stuff that isn't necessarily familiar to us.(I was trying to find a better word than "normal",and it isn't intended to be detrimental to you or anybody else).You see how terminology can be a problem in itself.I know one or two Tourette's sufferers myself,and even though I know what to expect,I often still find myself a little uncomfortable when they have an "episode",I would like to think that it just makes me human,rather than being inconsiderate or bigoted.(I hope)

Peacekeeper---keeping order in every verse!!!

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Saturday, August 15, 2009 9:49 PM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

Interesting you should post that, Boris. I'm hoping it's safe here to "out" myself as bipolar (which it wasn't elsewhere an was used against me), and I'm officially "disabled". I don't have the same problem unless I tell someone I'm bipolar, and of course then we ARE in danger of facing stigma of one form or another.

I've had much the same experience as you mentioned, except that in my case, when people who aren't comfortable with my being bipolar are around, I can kind of "read" that they're wary of me, expecting something or other. But those who know me, and the people I worked with when I could hold a job, had no problem that I was aware of.

I think with a visible disability, Peacekeeper is on the right track...it's hard to know how to "be" around something we don't understand, and it can lead to both trying too hard for some people and downright stigma for others. I think it might have as much to do with the other person's experience and upbringing as anything else. That's what creates comfort/discomfort/bias/prejudice, etc. That and whether they've been around people with disabilities or differences. Just my guess.

I've never been around anyone with Tourettes, but here in Marin we have a goodly population of mentally retarded (NOT making any comparison except insofar as "disability). They came into the pizza parlor we owned a lot, and everyone treated them just like any of our regulars...I think having time to get to know someone with a disability makes a world of difference; on casual acquaintance, I can imagine the discomfort being more.

Peacekeeper: I have long refused to use the term "normies" as many others do. Given how many damned "mental disabilities" they keep coming up with, I decided some time ago to call others "GUMs" (Great Undiagnosed Masses) because I think if science goes on long enough, they'll find one or another kind of "disability" to give a name to in EVERYONE!

Besides; what IS "normal", as you said? Someone with Tourettes like Boris, bipolarity like me, epilepsy, whatever...it's only one facet of the person. And I've met (especially recently!) people with no diagnosis of disability, visible or otherwise, who CERTAINLY aren't able to function "well" in society!

I'm really sad people make assumptions about you, Boris...to me the visible disabilities would seem to make even LESS difference in who a person is than the "mental" ones (which are also physical, but invisible). We're the ones with the real bad rap and who actually get in TROUBLE from our disability; I'm sad it embarrasses you, that doesn't seem right.

I mean, we try to remind one another that when we have an "episode" we weren't in control of, it's like an epileptic having a seizure (or in this case your twitches, etc.). It's not something we do deliberately, and it can happen despite taking our meds and working out symptom management strategies and coping skills and everything else we can. It's not a reflection of US, but what we were physically born with. Not something to be ashamed of. I'm sorry people make you feel weird, that's just not right.

Me, I've got a pretty thick skin and figure if they have a problem with me, it's their issue, not mine. Do you find that people whose discomfort you can feel when you meet them lose that discomfort when they get to know you? Or do you just avoid them when possible once you sense that discomfort? Would be interesting to know.

(Yes, I blather; I apologize to none for it; nobody ever has to read my posts or all of them, and typing is "talking" and reading "listening" to me. And I'm curious about everything...

)

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Saturday, August 15, 2009 10:10 PM

PEACEKEEPER

Keeping order in every verse

Your points are well taken Niki.My apologies if "normal" was the wrong choice of word.As I mentioned,it is difficult to find the correct terminology that doesn't offend somebody.Sometimes you just have to accept the term that offends the least amount of people.Whatever term you feel comfortable with is,that is the term that I mean.I generally tend to treat EVERYBODY with the same attitude regardless of their disposition.As far as I am concerned,if you are at a disadvantage to other people,then that should be taken into consideration when being interacted with.By the same token,I have come into contact with one or two people who behave like arseholes because they seem to believe that their disability means they should be allowed to be an arsehole.In this instance,they are treated as an arsehole,plain and simple.(I hope that makes sense?)

Peacekeeper---keeping order in every verse!!!

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, August 16, 2009 2:02 AM

SIGNYM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.

There is a cashier at my local grocery store who I believe has Tourette's: constantly shrugging his shoulder's and jerking his head. (Does not shout anything out.) Unlike some other syndromes Tourette's is very visible.

He seems uncomfortable dealing with people: rarely speaks to others, tends to avoid eye contact. If I have to talk to him it seems to set off a flurry of jerks and shrugs, which I assume is due to stress in dealing with people. So I'm wondering: is avoidance a part of Tourette's or is this guy just very shy?

And I have a question for YOU: How do YOU want people to react? Some people look and ask. Some just stare. Others ignore. Others avoid altogether. As a mom of a brain-damaged daughter, in dealing with other moms I've found a large divergence in reaction. Some moms would prefer outright questions over covert stares, considering it a teachable moment. Others find it very rude and distressing. Also, as child gets older, you don't want to just talk over the child's head. OTOH child prolly gets tired of explaining (if they can) why they are the way they are.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, August 16, 2009 2:52 AM

PEACEKEEPER

Keeping order in every verse

I find this an interesting subject.Over here in Britain a few years' back we had a contestant on our version of Big Brother,who suffered from Tourette's.I think his name was Pete Bennett.When it was first announced he would be on,the initial public reaction was basically "Oh God,here comes the freak!!".On the launch night this guy came running into the house making bird noises and shouting "wanker" every other sentence.I must admit that my initial reaction was similar to the general theory.However,once you had watched for a few weeks,you prety much got used to him and then started to notice the PERSON.And he was that nice a fellow he ending up winning the series.What I'm trying to say is,that it is common to focus on peoples' faults regardless of what they are.Unfortunately,the faults are usually more prominent than the basics on first contact.It will take everybody a while to start looking past them before you accept the person behind those faults.(Again,faults may be the wrong word,apologies again).But I think that even you guys with disabilities,will judge other people in the same way.First impressions are very strong but feel confident that the fact that people do interact with you and form lasting connections with you,means that you shouldn't worry too much about initial reactions.All of us are born ignorant,but the good thing is we generally learn quickly.There will always be dumbasses,but we must all deal with those to.And now I'm just going on.Intersting to know what you think.Interesting thread.

Peacekeeper---keepiact thatng order in every verse!!!

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, August 16, 2009 5:48 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

Peacekeeper: I agree with every word. I wasn't offended, trust me (I'm not that easily offended

), I was just explaining how I refer to what others call "normies" or "normal" and why. Just my own personal solution to the matter

I believe in meeting everyone as a new friend, too, until they prove otherwise. And DEFINITELY anyone who's an asshole is an asshole, doesn't matter what else they might be!

___________
Together we are greater than the sum of our parts.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, August 16, 2009 5:56 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

Signy, I'm sad for that person; I can only imagine how uncomfortable it must make him.

Over time I have become pretty much a hermit; I'm happy with my beasties, my friend who lives with us (who is also bipolar and I met on the internet and a real peach) and my husband. I'm not fond of crowds and traffic, so I don't go "out there" any more than necessary. I'm not sure whether that's an outgrowth of my bipolarity or just my age, but I don't feel the need for friends and get the majority of my socialization on line. That I do treasure!

But then, I have the option of letting people know I'm bipolar or not, so it's easier for me. I can try to stretch my imaginatin to what it might be like to have a visible disability, but that's as far as I can go. I'll bet your daughter is very lucky to have you; parents can see a child as a "mirror" of themselves and be ashamed of them or whatever, which is just awful.

How old is your daughter? Will she ever be able to live on her own? Is she old enough to tell you how it makes her feel...it sounds like she's pretty young. I hope you two have a relationship where she trusts you to talk to you, that can make all the difference!

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, August 16, 2009 6:25 AM

ECGORDON

There's no place I can be since I found Serenity.

Speaking of terminology, I am curious what everyone things of the current predominate use of the word "disabled" as opposed to "handicapped" that was used prior to that. I don't understand why one is preferred over the other, and if one should be considered less offensive why isn't it "handicapped"?

Disabled seems to me to mean the same, or at least similar, as unable, while handicapped simply implies an impedance to full functionality.

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, August 16, 2009 12:31 PM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

I think terminology evolves; as something gets a negative rep, new terms replace it. That's just a guess.

Personally, I prefer disabled to handicapped...maybe it's just the above, that over time handicapped has come to mean something more negative than disabled. Because you're right, taken on face value disabled DOES connote "unable" and handicapped DOES connote "impedemence".

Oops, hubby has just started watching Firefly, I can hear the theme music (he's new to it and "rationing" it for himself)...gotta run!

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, August 16, 2009 1:13 PM

SIGNYM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.

BORIS: SO I was curious and would like to re-ask my question: How do YOU want people to respond to you?

NIKI2: My dd is 20 going on 8. Her problems stem from a brain bleed at birth, because of that she does some things very well (spelling, reading) but also has some very deep divots in her capabilities (math and mapping). She will prolly never be able to lvei independently. And unfortunately she seems to have a particularly hard time expressing her feelings (one of the things she does not do well). But she is an absolutely wonderful person and I love her dearly.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, August 16, 2009 1:19 PM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

She's lucky to have you, I know it. Just the way you talk about her, it shows. If it's not overstepping bounds, what are your plans as you age? That must be horrendous for any parent to face!

You don't harbor guilt, do you? I know a lot of parents do; but you sounds more together than that. You sound very special.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, August 16, 2009 1:31 PM

DREAMTROVE

I understand. My sister has neurofibromatosis, and I have a seizure disorder which rarely acts up.. my problems seem like nothing in comparison.

I've talked to a lot of people about disabilities, and the working definition seems to be an economic one: If your condition prevents you from being employed, then it's a disability.

There is a perennial rush to have children diagnosed as disabled by parents seeking special treatment or whatever, so you get an endless line of autism or aspergers or whatever the twitch of the week is. These people are not disabled, they're employable.

A lot of people like my sister are disabled. We both technically are elligible but refuse disability. I suspect there are others people in that position on the forum.

I would like to see a more scaled differentiation than this. I think there should be separate classes and definitions of disabilities. Mine is an employment impairment, hers is a physical handicap, and some are just social abnormalities. The mentally disabled who are not capable of funcitoning in society at all are a separate class.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, August 16, 2009 2:00 PM

FREMDFIRMA

Quote:
Originally posted by Niki2:
Over time I have become pretty much a hermit; I'm happy with my beasties, my friend who lives with us (who is also bipolar and I met on the internet and a real peach) and my husband. I'm not fond of crowds and traffic, so I don't go "out there" any more than necessary. I'm not sure whether that's an outgrowth of my bipolarity or just my age, but I don't feel the need for friends and get the majority of my socialization on line. That I do treasure!

You know, that's ultimately interesting.

I have a somewhat "hostile" reaction internally to other people, and am much the same - pure fortune I happen to be running a security biz and walk night watchman rounds for an Apt Complex (site three) which allows me to go "out there" with an absolute minimum of interaction with the humans - although the local wildlife, especially some of the residents cats, are quite fond of me.
(Nitwit-Kitty offered to share his freshly caught mouse with me last night, I was touched!)

Also, when I have dismounted the prosthetics and uniform, I am visibly disabled and obviously not in good shape, haven't been for a long time - and I deal, semi-professionally with a lot of very "broken" people, which leads me to mention a couple things.

First, is that folks who have sympathy don't wanna show it cause they're afraid of showing it in a way that might be offensive or insulting, and spend the entire time in proximity to you mentally tripping over themselves, causing further embarrassment and in the end, they just wanna remove themselves from a situation they do not feel they can handle - and one should just generally forgive them this, since it is their own sympathy in the first place which started the cascade failure to cope.

I don't do sympathy so much, ain't no good at it, and teaching near catatonic or physically mangled folk to stand and deliver has delivered a great deal of insight into matters - one piece of which I will share, although not sure if it'll help any.

I know face to face and eye contact are important to some, but as a mechanic and usually working on someones engine I did develop the habit of maintaining a conversation while payin mind to what I was doing, something that actually helped in my respect to tone down and mitigate my misanthropy towards other humans if they're a voice rather than visible presence.

It also later seemed to help both me and the physically mangled cope as I was tuning prosthetic limbs, they don't feel the weight of my gaze upon them, thus eliminating a lot of the self-consciousness issue, and I happen to be focused on something other than their problem, which is more often than not something that will mitigate it, in the form of the prosthetic, and so it really eases initial conversations with someone when neither is very familiar with the other.

As for conversation with those of emotional/pysch related disorder or trauma, I've found the best way to manage a variation of this is by creating an external focus elsewhere by offering to assist with something, or even outright contriving one - "Hey, check it out, that cloud looks a bit like (whatever)" - and creating a side-by-side, rather than face to face, conversation, that also instills a secondary psychological dynamic in that posed as such, you are WITH them rather than OPPOSED to them, in physical plane, and assumed spirit.

Dunno if those little bits will help all that much, but just in case they can, well, there they are.

-F

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, August 16, 2009 2:22 PM

MAL4PREZ

To expand on what Signym is asking...

My experience with this kind of thing is complicated. I've never been around someone with Tourettes, but I've been in many similar situations. I'm always eager to do whatever I can to make "different" people comfortable. I want to make the situation as "normal" as possible for them. The problem is, I can't follow my own definition of "normal", because normally (in the Tourette's example), my eye is drawn to sudden movements, and I respond to sudden outbursts. My natural reaction may not be welcome, so I have to be second guess myself.

(I must point out - I don't believe there is really anything such as "normal", but let's let that slide. You know what I mean.)

I also can't assume that the person in question prefers any particular kind of response. Some people want their idiosyncrasies ignored, some want them discussed openly. Some respond well to humor, some would be horrified and insulted. So my tactic is hang back a bit and look for clues as how best to proceed.

And even this backfires. A vaguely related situation comes to mind: last winter, I visited some very good friends I've known a long time. One of them had just left her career as a lawyer and had no plans other than an art-as-therapy kind of class she'd signed up for. Now, this was not at all a good time for anyone to be throwing away paychecks, and I knew they were pretty worried about finances for other reasons. So I said something about how the class could end up turning into a fulfilling and enjoyable career.

The couple exchanged this look, then gently but firmly explained to me that the class was a matter of personal exploration and did not have to lead to a career, and they were sick of people saying what I had just said.

I've thought about the exchange a lot since then, and can't deny that it bothers me. I wasn't trying to force my friend to get pigeon-holed into a new career ASAP. What I wanted was to comfort her, and I picked up that she was stressed about finances and feeling a bit lost. I really wish that they had been able to see my intentions, rather than being offended by my misunderstanding of their goals.

How does that apply here? I guess... I bet that 99 out of 100 times, the people around you really want to do what is best for you, but they don't know how. It sucks, and it's unfair, but it's your job to show them what you need. And give them space if they fail to get it right on the first go.

I say this as someone who faces similar challenges as you do. My appearance and my needs are not the same, in a less obvious but (I think) nearly as troubling way. (It's hard to explain and I don't like to get into it.) The older I get, the more I realize that I have to forgive people for reacting to what they see, rather than what I would prefer. They mean well, and that's enough.

-----------------------------------------------
hmm-burble-blah, blah-blah-blah, take a left

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, August 16, 2009 5:42 PM

FREMDFIRMA

You know, thinkin about it - I think a lot of disabled folk do themselves no favor by not cultivating a sense of humor about it, even if it's a dark one.

Seems to me it's almost a necessary part of psychological survival - and while quite dark, the whole lost limbs/prosthetic attachment thing has a whole lot of material, much of which is appreciated by the recently-now-former soldiers whos armor saved their life but not their limbs, cause grunts as a general rule have a rude, crude, graveyard sort of humor to begin with.

Told one guy he should take up piracy, since if he really wanted I could get him a hook and a peg instead of an I-Limb and Ossur unit, and he laughed himself to tears over it - when we finally got the fitted units back I slipped a stuffed parrot and an eyepatch into the box, heh heh.

We cheated one guy about three inches in height since we had both legs to work with, not only did he find that humorously satisfying, his wife couldn't stop laughing when she tried to call him out on it!

One of my odder quirks is finding mundate uses for my dismounted leg, the very best of which is that it's my cupholder for long trips (it really gets in the way trying to drive if I leave it on, not to mention being quite uncomfortable!) I just wedge it between the seats, drop a two liter of Mt Dew Livewire in there, and I'm good for six, seven HOURS on the caffiene rush, heh.

Of course, this coming from a maniac who has WHEELIE BARS on his wheelchair, and damn near tipped it over anyways using his new toy (Forquet) at the range, I guess your mileage may vary.

Pysch humor is a little more difficult, and more reliant on how well you know each other, but it's doable.

Better to learn to laugh, to banish sorrow when it's not needed, than to sink in a sea of them and allow them to drown you.

-Frem

It cannot be said enough, those who do not learn from history, are doomed to endlessly repeat it

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, August 16, 2009 11:35 PM

DREAMTROVE

Quote:
We cheated one guy about three inches in height since we had both legs to work with, not only did he find that humorously satisfying, his wife couldn't stop laughing when she tried to call him out on it!

Could've invented a whole new line of variable height prosthetics... (Images of some marvel type...) Yes, don't worry son, we have a guy on the force who's 50' tall, he'll get you out of that window.

Yes, my sister actually had a lot of trouble getting hired prior to the americans with disabilities act. I'd seem like she was a shoe-in, so to speak, but then when she showed up the employer would invent some new reason that this job required being able to run the four minute mile while carrying a stack of TVs.

Now she works at the VA, has for many years. She's the perfect person for the job because fairly often she'll get someone in who will say "oh, I can never work again, I'm totally disabled," and she'll just get out behind her desk to get something from the file cabinet and usually they get the point right away, but a couple of times she's actually had to say "Curious, I seem to have a job."

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, August 17, 2009 9:17 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

Fascinating discussion; really interesting to hear different views.

I think now you explain it, Dream, it makes sense. DISabled = UNable to work. Handicapped = difficultes, but doesn't preclude work, is that right?

Then I fit the first category, plus I'm on Disability. Resisted it in the beginning, finally gave up.

My first major crash leading to diagnosis was a job where I asked the boss how I was doing, he said great; two days later he called me in and said it wasn't going to work, I was "trying too hard". That precipitated the crash.

Turned out, after dx and personal research, I realized later I'd been hypomanic the entire six months I'd worked there! No wonder I made them uncomfortable! But at the time, being let go (they didn't "fire" me) for trying too hard just blew me away, triggered me into my worst depressive episode ever.

I accepted State Disability because of finances, but a job came unexpectedly three months later and I took it. Best job I ever had, I loved it, they loved me. But a national reorganization came three years later; last hired, first to go, you know. Amusingly, the company just bought the old Sears Tower...guess they're doing better!

Doc said "back on Disability", so I spent a year on it. Then got a part-time job at a nonprofit where the "President" was a real nutcase, I was warned. She called me on the carpet for doing "too good a job" at something I'd taken initiative on, and proceeded to harangue me if her mail was five minutes late (had to be checked every hour) and lots more. Everyone else got on fine with me, and I took on extra work, got told the person before me had really been a flake, I improved the position greatly (desktop publisher).

Anyway, this kook ended up firing me, and after that I just couldn't handle anymore. Turned out, from further self-education, I discovered office work (especially for lawyers, as most my life had been) was one of the single WORST places for a bipolar...stress, pressure...and any office work isn't healthy...gossip, petty politics, etc.

Since I'm over 60, it's now permanent. I hate it, I miss working, but I admit my symptoms have gone WAY down since I live a very quiet life. I'm content, my life has been very full, and I sincerely appreciate the lessening of the symptoms!

Dream: The "perennial rush to have children diagnosed as disabled" is a big problem. I don't think it's so much to get special treatment as it is that our society has narrowed the definition of "normal" so that even natural over-active, hormonal or otherwise kids have their parents worried there's something "wrong" with them...and the medical/psychiatric professions don't help. In the mental-health community, we talk and worry a lot about so many kids being put on psychotropics, ritalin, etc. Our meds are heavy duty and can cause all kinds of things; overdiagnosis and overmedication today is a real problem.

And may I say huzzah to your sister; it takes courage to face people's idiosyncracies when they think of us as "other", to keep a sense of humor and keep plugging to work. By this time, I've got a never-be-the-same wrist and serious back problems which, along with my age, preclude trying yet again, but I sure miss it...sigh...

Frem, the mental tripping thing you menioned is right on; I had it myself when we used to get the local mentally-retarded groups into our pizza parlor. I found it disappeared when I got to know each one individually, but at first, yes, I understand. I don't see much of ANYONE anymore, and when I do, now have no problems with others who have visible handicaps. Maybe it was the years in the pizza parlor that made me more comfortable or something and got rid of that "tripping over" stuff, dunno.

And the sense of humor: YES!!! We try to encourage others in our community to do so, it's really vital to surviving in society, whether disabled or not, isn't it? If we can't laugh at ourselves, at human idiosyncracies, fallibilities, misconceptions, etc., we'd all go nuts...or "nutsER" as the case might be.

Especially where the other person might not know how to act or react, it just seems to me something useful to help the situation along.

Mal4, I'm sorry your friends reacted the way they did to your suggestion. Certainly I can imagine them having heard it so many times before that they were sick of it, but that's really no excuse for not recognizing that THIS person is thinking of it for the first time and means well. Had something similar in my life, and got used to just laughing and explaining I'd heard "that" a dozen times before, then stating my reason for rejecting it. Seems to me that would have been the better way, certainly when speaking to a well-meaning friend....

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, August 17, 2009 12:50 PM

BORIS

SIGYM
He could be shy, but Avoidance is a big big part of tourette's for alot of people. It's just easier than dealing with the stares and misperceptions. I have reached a point where I just do my thing. I can't be assed with the avoidance thing anymore and I don't control my tics publicly anymore either. people just have to deal with it or not depending on their preference.
Nikki: I hear you. I have Bi Polar friends and they get where I'm coming from when I say I feel like I'm possessed sometimes. Luckily Bi polarism is not always visible to the outside world until you bring it up, but then you do have to be careful who you share the info with because of the stigma. My bi polar friends are some of the most genuine peole I know....which is probably why I know so many of them.
Peacekeeper: thanks for your perspective. I guess i want people not to worry about what is or isn't normal. Or worry about what is or isn't the right thing to say. I'm quite happy for people to ask me questions about my condition rather than pretend they aren't staring or worrying about causing offence, but I guess not everyone is comfortable with that. Particularly considering all of the political correctness and false inclusion policy nonsence we get hit with now ("inclusion poloucies" make me laugh and cringe at the same time as they are actually exclusion policies most of the time). I guess what I'm saying is don't worry about causing offence any more than you would when you first meet someone who seems "normal". I think that "don't want to offend" issue is the discomfort factor in a lot of interactions, even though it comes from a good place. Thanks everyone, all good open minded thoughts :-)

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, August 17, 2009 1:02 PM

PEACEKEEPER

Keeping order in every verse

Niki, perhaps you can educate me a little here.What is the difference between bipolarism and depression.The way I understand it is Bipolar people have two moods;Euphoria or Despair,with no balance in between.Is depression just a temporary state and Bipolar a life long affliction.Forgive my relative ignorance.I have suffered what my doctor diagnosed as depression.And believe me when I say,I understand how physically crippling it can be.But that was basically due to the old chestnut of a broken Heart.But time and patience got me through the other side.I can't imagine how difficult it must be to be unable to get through that state.I have often found that because of my personal experience with depression,the last thing you want is people feeling constantly sorry for you.I found that the more people did that, the more I sort of "milked it".I basically woke up one morning and thought "sod this,this is not working for me",and I just sort of snapped out of it like it had never happened.What is it that stops people from doing that.And do you have some kind of trigger that flips you from one state to the other.If you don't wish to talk about it,I completely understand.Don't fel obliged to indulge me if it is uncomfortable for you.

Peacekeeper---keeping order in every verse!!!

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, August 17, 2009 3:36 PM

DREAMTROVE

Niki,

Thanks

I've spent years studying mental health issues, and physical ones, I actually am generally very busy, and not so in to playing doctor, but I can't just stand here when I know things which are useful to other people.

Anyone who wants to email me, send a message to me at gmail, as it's more likely to get read. I put my address for this site as AOL as a misdirect for the incoming spam. There are some good books out there on the psychology of this stuff, but the chemistry is more critical.

PK

All mental states are just that: states. They can go away on their own or stay forever, or be intentionally altered. I've been working on complete control to create any mental state, but I can certainly deal with these ones. The term "Bi-polar" is, like so many modern psychiatric diagnoses, not closely connected to real science. There can be all sorts of reasons for instability, often a TKO of some neurological system. Anyone with a bi-polar diagnosis can go to different doctors and get diagnosed as schitzophrenic, psychotic, etc. just like a parent with a child with mild autism can go around and get aspergers an various other diagnoses. Tourette's is very specific, as is depression. The cures for depression are mind-numbingly simple, but I don't dole out advice until people tell me what they are *already* taking, both pharmaceutical and herbal, and also, a good idea to mention any other conditions someone might have. I do witch doctor on the side, but it's mainly my own research. Handing out treatment ideas without knowing the whole situation is like giving motorcycles to monkeys, you never know what disaster you might create. (particularly if someone is depressed and currently taking one of the new improved ultra-dangerous drugs.) Oh, and to anyone posting their conditions and looking for input from anyone online, age is an important factor: Metabolisms change with age. Older people metabolize at a higher rate, which is counter-intuitive, and usually require lower doses. That said, no one should be suffering from depression, so feel free to fire away if you want out of it. If anyone wants help with more serious problems I'll be happy to help. If you want to do it privately or on an open board, doesn't matter, people who know what they're talking about, you know who you are, can feel free to nitpick my analysis :)

I actually think I should probably start a suicide hotline or something, I have this depression one down very well.

Myself I was a diagnosed schizophrenic with a seizure disorder, and a pharma guinea pig for 3 years, it was torture. I fled the scene when they gave me the options of shock therapy or lobotomy. Now I look at the 18 doctors I had and they look so small. The field of psychiatry has very very few who understand anything about the mind at all. I currently have a psychiatrist who is quite excellent, and we just bounce ideas off of each other, see if we can shoot holes in each other's ideas, under the pretense that he's treating me. At the moment we're working on amnesia, which I have been suffering from, and it's getting quite a bit better. I won't be satisfied until I'm back to a photographic memory.

Schizophrenia et al is a reasonably treatable and slightly tricky, as it's a vague definition, and involves several variables.

Seizure disorders are trickier, and dangerous, I have some emergency fixes, but this is on the high end of tricky

Amnesia, hold that thought, oh, sorry, wait, you can't, that's right :)

Depression I can kick.

ADHD etc. I haven't really tried, but it doesn't strike me as very hard.

Similar for Aspergers, etc. I have tried, and have some ideas.

Addiction is one of the hardest problems to fix, I can do it if someone is actually willing to try.

If something is physically wrong with your brain I probably can't do anything about it, but might be able to help.

The whole matter is made somewhat worse by the govt. banning some simple supplements to help big pharm sell second rate products they can patent instead. This is why I have a shrink, I don't have access to certain things otherwise. Ideally we wouldn't have to deal with this.

I can't reverse the marijuana burn-out, but I'm becoming convinced that it's possible. It might just be anandamide receptor loss or insensitivity. It can be done but I have more pressing research at the moment.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

YOUR OPTIONS

SHARE THREAD

NEW POSTS TODAY

USER	POST DATE

USER

POST DATE