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Originally posted by Magonsdaughter:
How do I break behaviour cycles? It seems so hard to make changes.

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Originally posted by Niki2:
Mmm, Cav, ouch. You make me ashamed.

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Originally posted by FREMDFIRMA:

HKCav ?

Some wounds never heal.
Sometimes my comforts are, at the end of the day, all I really have.
And thus I treasure them, sure.

Hooray for hedonism, I say - and be DAMNED to the fucked up Puritan notion that suffering is good for you.
You oughta know better.

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“Before someone’s tomorrow has been taken away, cherish those you love, appreciate them today.” ~Michelle C. Ustaszeski

As tough as it sometimes feels, change and loss are woven into life. We cannot live a full life without them.

Although both can be painful, they push us into a greater understanding of what matters in life, and they can help us become clearer about who we are since they provide a platform for substantial growth.

Over the past couple of years I’ve experienced many changes as I’ve transitioned from one chapter to the next. The one constant through all of that change has been my right hand man, my best friend: my dog Tucker.

My 80-pound golden retriever buddy came to me at the darkest period of my life. I adopted him when I was suffocating in a deep depression, and he became my earth angel that helped pull me out.

He has been by my side through all the failed romantic relationships, horrible bosses, and seemingly wrong turns in life. Through all the chaos he’s calmed me down and kept me grounded.

After a series of layoffs, a break up, and overcoming drug and food addictions, I thought everything would be fine because Tucker and I had made it through the darkness—until a couple weeks ago, when a veterinarian found a tumor in his nose attached to his brain. The likelihood of it being cancerous was extremely high.

Although Tucker is sick, we still have time together. Through this experience, I’ve learned a lot about what matters in life.

Here are some of the top lessons I’ve learned from Tucker:
Make Your Time Count

I spent so much time trying to be somewhere else—in another job, another relationship, another place. In my effortless pursuit to get to the greener grass, I was missing life. It wasn’t until my best friend was diagnosed with a life threatening disease that I saw the grass I’m standing on just needs a little water.

I realize now that I have been sleepwalking through life. I was awake but always looking ahead to feel fulfillment. I couldn’t be happy with where I was, whether it was with boyfriends, my job, or where I choose to live.

But now, I see things more clearly. Where we are standing right now is what matters. And my personal attention to the moment is what was lacking. Now that I live here, in the present, I feel more abundant, successful, and fulfilled then ever before.

What we do with each hour is up to us. We always say, “I don’t have enough time.” But every moment could be a lifetime. I don’t know how much time I have left with my dog—an hour, a day, weeks, months—but I know I have this moment.
Choose Happiness Now

I believe that we always have enough time, money, and energy for what is most important to us. Disease, divorce, or the death of a loved one are all jarring reminders about what really matters most.

Life happens and forever rushes forward. But the present moment is what we have, so choose to be happy and love right now. Don’t wait until the future to be happy, because it’s not a destination. Happy starts right now by appreciating this moment and fully embracing it.
Love More Deeply

This is our opportunity to choose happiness and love. It will never come to us when we search for it out there.

Yes, my best friend is sick—but he’s still here. I can still hold his paw and cuddle with him. It’s these moments that really matter. Our loving human connections make a difference.

Over the past few months, I connected with everyone I knew and asked for his or her love and support. When we are going through a difficult time in life—layoff, disease, bankruptcy, or whatever—know that you are not alone.

There is power in a collective consciousness uniting together to support and love one another.

The people we show up for, the energy we spend serving and helping others, can make the grass green where you’re standing.

We don’t know how much time we have with our best friends and family. We only know we have this chance, right now, to choose love.
Believe in Miracles

Last week the Vet called me in to his office to go over my dog’s diagnosis. He looked me in the eye and said, “In my 30 years of medical procedures, I have never seen this, but your dog does not have cancer.” It felt like a miracle!

Still, I know he won’t be here forever. This experience has helped me see that all relationships are gifts—and the gift is in what each relationship can teach us. My furry friend has taught me how to love more deeply and be present.

And we can remember that, as my friend Derrick Heine said, “We are not here for a long time. We are here for a good time.”

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Unlike other forms of child abuse, emotional abuse is rarely denied by those who practice it. In fact, many actively defend their psychological brutality, asserting that a childhood of emotional abuse helped their children to "toughen up." It is not enough for us to renounce the perverted notion that beating children produces good citizens—we must also renounce the lie that emotional abuse is good for children because it prepares them for a hard life in a tough world. I've met some individuals who were prepared for a hard life that way—I met them while they were doing life.
-Andrew Vachss

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Originally posted by Niki2:
Still would like to hear from others what their regrets are--or think they would be at the end of their lives. The ones listed may be the "most common", but I'll bet there are a lot more UNcommon ones...

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Originally posted by RionaEire:
Hi Jack, those are some good ideas for career goals.

I have Kathy Bates on speed dial, mwa ha ha ha (in exaggeratedly evil voice)

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya.

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