Sadness checking on an old friend by Niki2

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Sadness checking on an old friend

POSTED BY: NIKI2
UPDATED: Monday, October 15, 2012 14:08
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VIEWED: 1457
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Wednesday, October 10, 2012 1:52 PM

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

This really belongs in Talk Story, but since there's a point, which is about RWED, I'm putting it here.

I just put up a couple of posts in General (which I almost never do) about last night's Dr. Horrible airing and the upcoming Science Channel Firefly 10th Anniversary special. Got to reading a bit there, and ended up in a post asking if there were still any Firefly sites active. Noticed there someone had mentioned the board I was on before I came here, so out of curiosity I went there.

Most people who've been here when I came remember I came here as a "refugee" from that other site, where I'd been beaten up pretty damned bad and had some rather nasty things done to me and to the website for the mentally ill I run (which site has been closed to newcomers ever since as a result). It was quite an experience...at the time there were, I dunno, more than a dozen people who posted there daily in their version of RWED, and it was pretty heavily right-wing. It ended up with the ugliest attacks I've ever experienced on line--or anywhere, actually--with fraud (someone "joined" saying they knew me from another site and what a bitch I was; turned out they had joined the other site just to fake it all), attacks on the web site I ran (hence its closure) and really, really ugly stuff being thrown at me, using everything, like my mental health, which I'd posted about.

In the end I gave up trying to defend myself and came here. A couple of people from there even FOLLOWED me here and began their attacks all over again. I've always been grateful that the people here took me at face value and even told them to cut it out, they'd judge me on their own. I only KNOW of one other person here from that other site who I see in RWED every now and again, and it always warms my heart to see her post something, reminds me of the GOOD people I met over there. The only "good" thing that came from it all is I grew a real thick skin and nobody can ever hurt me again on line.

My message is this: When I went back, I found there was only ONE person posting about politics in their version of RWED...one person blathering at length and hatefully about Obama, responding to HIS OWN POSTS, and only one other person responding to him, maybe briefly once in every five or six of the long diatribes. The only other stuff in their version of RWED was about non-political stuff between other people.

I don't know whether the hard-core righties who were there when I was there got bored agreeing with one another, or anyone on the other side just got driven off like me, or what happened, but there's only this one guy left there posting about politics. I have no doubt anyone besides his one occasional responder learned the futility of saying anything on the other side...or maybe even of responding to him at all.

We should probably have MORE non-political stuff to talk about, unquestionably. There's nothing wrong with that per se. But it was a shock to discover that what had once been full of lively discussions was now dead, just one person railing away to HIMSELF. Dunno why he even does, since he gets no response except from that one other guy now and then, I guess it's just become a platform for him to spew.

I guess it's just a learning experience I'm trying to offer. If you let it get too damned nasty on one side--EITHER side, mind you--that's how it can end up; one really angry madman spewing his hatred to a nonexistant audience. I don't ever want to see that happen here. Per my recent post, we've already lost lots and lots of good voices here because of the ugliness and the boring tit-for-tat bullshit, I hope it doesn't get any worse. The next worst thing to one voice screaming angrily into the darkness would be four or five, a couple on each side, just bitching back and forth at one another...which we already have too much of.

Just food for thought; there's a HUGE value in keeping things as civil as we can...an even bigger value in (were it possible) having actual, reasonable DEBATES rather than just neener-neeners and partisan uglineses. We could have such fun, and learn so much from one another, if we did.

The alternative is really, really sad. I hope we never go there.

There's something else that's very sad about it, but I can't say what unless I say the site's name. If anyone wants to see for themselves, my e-mail is nikovich@pacbell.net. I won't put up the name of the other Firefly site publicly. It doesn't deserve it. It doesn't deserve what happened to it.

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Wednesday, October 10, 2012 2:09 PM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!

If I ever did find my way to another Firefly board, I can't recall where it was, or even posting there for very long. This is pretty much it for me. I think I may have peeked at the old official board, a time or two, but I can't be sure. It's been so long.

I think the only other t.v. show fan site I played on worth mentioning was a Wonderfalls site. Alas, it soon fell into darkness, after the show was cancelled.

Bummer that folks would go to THAT much trouble to be a-holes, Niki. Some just don't have an off line life, it seems.

" I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend. "

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Wednesday, October 10, 2012 2:56 PM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

I actually NEVER went to a fan site before Firefly, and have only briefly gone to one since. There's something about Firefly...and Joss...and Nathan, and, and, and, the whole package...

...and now the people here. Even you...in your way...

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Wednesday, October 10, 2012 3:15 PM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!

Quote:
Originally posted by Niki2: There's something about Firefly...and Joss...and Nathan, and, and, and, the whole package...

...and now the people here. Even you...in your way...

So, you're comparing me to Firefly, Joss and Nathan ??

I'll take that as a kindness.

" I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend. "

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Wednesday, October 10, 2012 3:52 PM

OONJERAH

Maybe it's time for a bit of bio here.

I don't "get out much" -- I don't want to. Home is my comfort zone, always was.
So I stay home and mess with the computer all day; once in a while I garden.
My relationship to housework is mutually hostile.

I had a web site for over 10 years, but dropped it about 6 months ago. I'd got a
little too mush in the brain to learn the new stuff, WordPress, etc. Didn't like
the maintenance or the rent on it anymore. But that sorta left a void in my time
I guess.

I am not sure when I discovered "Firefly." The earliest reference I find in my
journal is 1 April, 2008. By then I was visiting a Firefly fan forum where I met
a couple of people who now come here. It was the 1st forum where I became a
member. I had discovered Firefly on NetFlix. I don't recall, but I probably
scarfed the whole thing down in 2-3 days & then watched it again, & then went
to Blockbuster and bought the set. It has that effect as we know.

Maybe it was to fill an earlier void in my time ... 2011, I returned after a year or 2's
absence to EverQuest. But I hadn't been back for a month when they got hacked &
everyone's secure information was compromised. That's when I saw a Japanese busi-
ness, SOE, treating internet security the same way they have treated the Fukushima
disaster. Blank stares, denial, don't deal with it.
When they said we could come back to play, I didn't ... leaving a void in my time.

Almost a year passed. I missed the old forum, but it was no longer active enough.
I went looking for some of my old friends and found them here. So here I am.

I am an Herb Caen LoL: a sweet Little Old Lady, living alone with cats in the Sierra
Nevada foothills.

More than that, you don't need to know -- unless we do lunch.

=========================
I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. ~Charles R Swindoll

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Wednesday, October 10, 2012 4:00 PM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!

" We all got on this boat for different reasons... "

Man, does that line ever apply to this lot.

I mean, sure, we all love the ship, and weren't looking so much at the destination, as in the journey.

Been a bit bumpier than I had hoped, but we're still flyin'.

" I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend. "

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Wednesday, October 10, 2012 6:57 PM

FREMDFIRMA

I've seen it dozens of times, Niki - on many boards and nets, even at times as a moderator.
Folks like that move in, and when they don't get their asses kissed enough they go berserk, and you've not seen the worst of it till you've seen em take it offline to the point of screwing with peoples relationships, employment, vandalism, it can get pretty damn nasty - and it's always, always, ALWAYS from one single side of the political spectrum.
I can't even pretend to understand what vile instinct drives them, but the apparent goal is to drive off all opposition and then engage in a mutual bootlicking party and then they get bored with this and move on to a new place to destroy.
Like a virus.

One thing I have always treasured about RWED is that they don't have the option to coerce, bribe, threaten or blackmail a moderator into silencing their opposition, or giving them peoples real life info for offline harrassment, and therefore have only the power of their less-than-persuasive arguments, provided they could get anyone to pay them any mind at all.

The funny thing is that the three sites who hired me as a Mod all threw me off cause I wouldn't play such games.

The first because I nuked a blatantly racist post blatantly advocating the genocide of all middle easterners, and I stuck to my principles to the point of being shown the door...

The second was because I caught the site administration misusing user info and sharing it with other users over personal drama, and called them on that viciously and publicly, this was especially galling as the site in question was supposed to be a safe haven and resource center for folks trying to get AWAY from that kinda shit.

The third was a technical site, and I wound up out on my ear cause one of the potential staffers was rejected not for his technical knowledge, which was undeniably superior, but because his POLITICS were "too liberal" for them - something which hit me out of the blue cause for five years the topic had never come up whatever...
And I not only called them on it, I did so very very publicly - resulting in them holding something of a grudge which none of them will actually act on cause I know a lot of em in real life and there's no question I would beat the everliving crap out of them if they pushed it.

So yeah, I've seen worse, much, much worse - and for obvious reasons its why I offer less tolerance and mercy to some.

-Frem

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Thursday, October 11, 2012 6:34 AM

CAVETROLL

Quote:
Originally posted by FREMDFIRMA:
...I can't even pretend to understand what vile instinct drives them, but the apparent goal is to drive off all opposition and then engage in a mutual bootlicking party and then they get bored with this and move on to a new place to destroy.
Like a virus.

And I not only called them on it, I did so very very publicly - resulting in them holding something of a grudge which none of them will actually act on cause I know a lot of em in real life and there's no question I would beat the everliving crap out of them if they pushed it.

So yeah, I've seen worse, much, much worse - and for obvious reasons its why I offer less tolerance and mercy to some.

-Frem

Pot to Kettle. You are black, over.

Taking online things to RL or threatening to, is taking things too far.

Kwindbago, hot air and angry electrons

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Thursday, October 11, 2012 6:00 PM

FREMDFIRMA

Said community exists both online and off, ya dolt - and if some tiny minority of shitheads wants to chase technically inclined folks OUT of a technical community cause they think they're "too liberal" you're damn right imma have a serious problem with that.
And if they wanna get in my face about it at a real life event and hand me an excuse to thrash them for their despicable behavior you think I wouldn't take em up on it ?
Not too many would complain about it neither, since they already cost us a major discount parts supplier who will not deal with us anymore because of them.

That's a whole different baliwick than throwing a molotov at someones HOUSE cause you didn't like their religion, jackass - and yes someone did try that back in B-more.

-F

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Thursday, October 11, 2012 6:29 PM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)

Quote:
Originally posted by CaveTroll:

Pot to Kettle. You are black, over.

Taking online things to RL or threatening to, is taking things too far.

Kettle to Troll: Check a mirror.

Posted by CaveTroll to Kwicko:

Quote:
Have you ever considered what a horrible person you must have been in your previous lives to earn the life you have now? The only notability you have only extends only to this website. If I had a relative even a tenth as disgraceful as you I'd give them a loaded handgun, some privacy and a suggestion that they do the right thing.

http://beta.fireflyfans.net/mthread.aspx?bid=18&tid=52283&mid=901895#9
01895

Spare us your sanctimonious bullshit.

"I supported Bush in 2000 and 2004 and intellegence [sic] had very little to do with that decision." - Hero

"I was wrong" - Hero, 2012

Mitt Romney, introducing his running mate: "Join me in welcoming the next President of the United States, Paul Ryan!"

Rappy's response? "You're lying, gullible ( believing in some BS you heard on msnbc ) or hard of hearing."

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Friday, October 12, 2012 2:33 AM

M52NICKERSON

DALEK!

Quote:
Originally posted by CaveTroll:
Quote:
Originally posted by FREMDFIRMA:
...I can't even pretend to understand what vile instinct drives them, but the apparent goal is to drive off all opposition and then engage in a mutual bootlicking party and then they get bored with this and move on to a new place to destroy.
Like a virus.

And I not only called them on it, I did so very very publicly - resulting in them holding something of a grudge which none of them will actually act on cause I know a lot of em in real life and there's no question I would beat the everliving crap out of them if they pushed it.

So yeah, I've seen worse, much, much worse - and for obvious reasons its why I offer less tolerance and mercy to some.

-Frem

Pot to Kettle. You are black, over.

Taking online things to RL or threatening to, is taking things too far.

Kwindbago, hot air and angry electrons

Frem likes playing the role of internet tough guy.

I do not fear God, I fear the ignorance of man.

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Friday, October 12, 2012 5:49 AM

BYTEMITE

...You know, I try to take someone at face value on the internet unless they give good reason to disbelieve them. When Niki showed up here chased by those other posters asking us for help, it could have been a ruse. I welcomed all of them, and after watching them for a while I could tell that the other posters were targeting her and Niki was in the clear. Niki and I are sometimes (oftentimes?) at odds with each other, but I wouldn't do anything differently now.

I have also often disagreed with Nick, but I don't think he is anything other than what he represents himself as.

If Frem lives in Detroit and Baltimore, his life could very well be what he says its like. If he plays the role of tough guy on the internet, it may be because he is actually a tough guy IRL. He knows too much for me to doubt it.

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Friday, October 12, 2012 6:08 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

Quote:
I don't "get out much" -- I don't want to. Home is my comfort zone, always was. So I stay home and mess with the computer all day; once in a while I garden.
My relationship to housework is mutually hostile.

I had a web site for over 10 years, but dropped it about 6 months ago. I'd got a little too mush in the brain to learn the new stuff, WordPress, etc. Didn't like the maintenance or the rent on it anymore. But that sorta left a void in my time I guess.

WOW Oonj, no wonder someone guessed you were my sockpuppet! "Alter ego" almost--virtually every word you wrote could have come from me! Comfort zone, mess with computer, garden--I like the "mutually hostile!--had a web site...although mine has no technical aspect to it, and yeah, even thinking of letting it go, as there's very little action on it anymore. We all know one another too well and don't have a real "RWED" forum, for which I'm glad! I only keep it alive because old timers always pop in and have told me they depend on it being there when they need it. But the similarities are amazing. You probably only INCREASED anyone's belief you're my sockpuppet, hee, hee, hee!

The rest diverges, but those first two paragraphs made me open my eyes wide! Oh, and Herb Caen...tho' I switched to Jon Carroll when he showed up after Caen's death.

Quote:
Taking online things to RL or threatening to, is taking things too far.

Well, troll, the people to whom I refer DID take it to RL, and threatened further action, so I guess I should thank you for your support. I guess.

Oonj, for some reason I thought you lived in South Florida...Sierra foothills is MUCH cooler (in more ways than one!).

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Friday, October 12, 2012 1:11 PM

OONJERAH

Yes, Niki, we have much in common. One glaring difference is your interest in
politics. I hate politics & only try to give it a bit of attention out of duty: I am
supposed to know enough to vote wisely.

Posting style: I find your font color '#9999CC' a bit too dark for easy reading.
I'd go about to here '#aac5ff' with it & add 1 to font size as well.

"taking things too far" That we are here on earth to learn to control ourselves,
not others, we probably agree on.

Now ... we still do NOT know whose sockpuppet I am supposed to be. I think you &
HKC are both good choices. "Someone needs to come clean" remains unnamed and
I believe only the Sockpuppet Spotter knows who it is ... who is wanted to come
under suspicion.

What was the need for a sockpuppet in this case? Is someone afraid to confront
Bytemite directly, honestly? I doubt that. But if someone is, it'd be out of compassion
and self-restraint.

That I took it from the thread into PMs was mainly to preserve the topic of the
thread as I stated. But also, when things get too emotional, too personal, I prefer
privacy.

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Monday, October 15, 2012 9:44 AM

RIONAEIRE

Beir bua agus beannacht

Niki has me feeling truthsome right now. I really like this board. I'm limiting how much I come here right now since I've been busy with my new British Raj fascination, well revived, not new, and its election time so I don't want to listen to election talk too much, I'm not really that into politics. But I reckon after the election I'll be back more often as usual. I have had a lot of fun on here with you guys. I love that there's no moderator so we can say whatever we believe without risk of being kicked off or chased. I think, perhaps wrongly, that I get along with almost everyone on here, I've only had a personal conflict with one person and really a conflict online isn't such a big thing. I'm really glad this board is here and I hope it stays around for a long time to come.

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

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Monday, October 15, 2012 1:35 PM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

Well, Oonj, I'll have to have a look at that color thing. It comes out fine for me, as does the style, but I know everyone's screen can be different. I'll definitely increase the size. But what you suggested is BLUE to me; purple has always been my color, comic sans my font, on every board I've been on. Consistency is the...what is it? ;o)

I prefer to work things out in private, as well; involving people on a forum is TO ME like asking people to take sides, which is never helpful.

I realized after the fact that I screwed up my quotes...the "For some reason I thought you lived in South Florida...Sierra foothills is MUCH cooler (in more ways than one!)" wasn't a quote, it was meant for YOU.

Eh, sockpuppet schmockpuppet, I gave up on that ages ago and it's pretty much only boring to me now (except I don't like my name being bandied about as one). Nobody can KNOW for sure one way or another, so who gives a shit? I came to realize that if I really cared or put any effort into figuring out who's who, for me anyway, it would just mean I'm being too paranoid. Why bother?

ETA: is zis any better? It's kind of a light lavendar/French blue, I could live with that. But I don't CHANGE the font size--I wanted to when someone mentioned it a while back, but don't know how. So if someone could tell me, I'll make the font bigger for easier reading.

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Monday, October 15, 2012 2:08 PM

OONJERAH

I like this color way better. Much easier to read. :)

Oo-ooo!! Sockpuppets, I just had a brilliant idea.
I, too, have an old friend that's dying online. They even have a thread
about it. I don't want it to die. Maybe what it needs is about 10 sock-
puppets on auto-pilot to keep it going!!

=========================
I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. ~Charles R Swindoll

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