Sex Quotes by Jongsstraw

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Sex Quotes

POSTED BY: JONGSSTRAW
UPDATED: Tuesday, January 1, 2013 19:06
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Friday, December 28, 2012 10:20 AM

Sex is like pizza. When it's good it's really good. When it's bad, it's still pretty good.....Joe Torre

Bridge is like sex. If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.....Mae West

I have sex like I have steak, very rare, very rare.....Rodney Dangerfield

Turtle 'performs' as much as Led Zeppelin.....Johnny Drama

Excellent orgy choices my Queen. You made some very big decisions.....Competence

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Friday, December 28, 2012 10:49 AM

M52NICKERSON

DALEK!

If you don't need a shower and clean sheets afterwords you are not doing it right.

I do not fear God, I fear the ignorance of man.
A warning to everyone, AURaptor is a known liar.
...and now a Fundie!
http://www.fireflyfans.net/mthread.aspx?tid=53359

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Friday, December 28, 2012 11:21 AM

CHRISISALL

Remember, in out, like a duck mating. -MacCleary

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Friday, December 28, 2012 11:26 AM

JONGSSTRAW

We Romans sure love our Gods. We have a God for everything. The only thing we don't have a God for is premature ejaculation...but I hear that's coming quickly.....Comicus

They don't call him a Minute Man for nothing.....Mrs. Revere

Hey Aqualung!.....Peter Griffin

Sex is like dancing. It's best left to teenagers and professionals.....Sully

WELL IT'S BETTER THAN GUN THREADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Friday, December 28, 2012 11:27 AM

WULFENSTAR

http://youtu.be/VUnGTXRxGHg

This is the truth. The best truth you will ever hear.

Shes cute too.

"None of you seem to understand. I'm not locked in here with you... YOU are locked in here with ME."

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Friday, December 28, 2012 11:42 AM

JONGSSTRAW

Years of Companion Training condensed into four minutes. Amazing!

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Friday, December 28, 2012 11:43 AM

WULFENSTAR

http://youtu.be/VUnGTXRxGHg

Tell me its wrong.

"None of you seem to understand. I'm not locked in here with you... YOU are locked in here with ME."

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Friday, December 28, 2012 12:19 PM

CHRISISALL

Quote:
Originally posted by Jongsstraw:
Years of Companion Training condensed into four minutes. Amazing!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

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Friday, December 28, 2012 4:51 PM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)

Okay, some of these are tasteless, but remember kiddies, they're just jokes. No one was harmed in the making of these jokes.

Sex is a misdemeanor; the more you miss, da meaner you get!

The wife and I are into hall sex now. We pass each other in the hall and say "fuuuuuuuuck you..."

You know what I like in a woman? My dick.

"I supported Bush in 2000 and 2004 and intellegence [sic] had very little to do with that decision." - Hero

"I was wrong" - Hero, 2012

Mitt Romney, introducing his running mate: "Join me in welcoming the next President of the United States, Paul Ryan!"

Rappy's response? "You're lying, gullible ( believing in some BS you heard on msnbc ) or hard of hearing."

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Friday, December 28, 2012 6:34 PM

CHRISISALL

Quote:
Originally posted by Kwicko:

You know what I like in a woman? My dick.

Mike, you are no Liberal, no fuzzy female friendly person. This disgusts me, and many others, I conjure.
How can you pretend to be a progressive & post this?
Hand in your PC card my friend, your license to provoke has been revoked.

Pretty funny though.

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Friday, December 28, 2012 7:38 PM

JONGSSTRAW

Jack and Jill went up the hill, they each had a quarter. Jill came down with fifty cents; do you still think they went to get water?.....Aesop

If you think she's spunky, vulcanize your monkey.....Guiseppe Pirelli

Hold all my calls. No calls, no matter who it is. I don't care if it's Carmen Electra calling for an emergency titty-fuck, I can't take the call.....Ari Gold

I met George Takei when I was a kid. He told me to sit on his lap because it was a secret transporter that would beam me up to the Enterprise. How could you George!.....Ben Stiller

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Friday, December 28, 2012 8:02 PM

FREMDFIRMA

This from a former Staff Sergeant.

"Recon is like sex, boys, when it's good, it's really good - and even when it's bad it's still nice to have some!"

-F

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Saturday, December 29, 2012 3:35 AM

KWICKO

Quote:
Originally posted by chrisisall:
Quote:
Originally posted by Kwicko:

You know what I like in a woman? My dick.
Mike, you are no Liberal, no fuzzy female friendly person. This disgusts me, and many others, I conjure.
How can you pretend to be a progressive & post this?
Hand in your PC card my friend, your license to provoke has been revoked.

Pretty funny though.

Hey, us hippie libruls came up with that whole "free love" flower-power stuff, remember? You didn't think all that beat poetry and guitar playing was just to impress ourselves, did you? It was ALWAYS about getting laid!

"I supported Bush in 2000 and 2004 and intellegence [sic] had very little to do with that decision." - Hero

"I was wrong" - Hero, 2012

Mitt Romney, introducing his running mate: "Join me in welcoming the next President of the United States, Paul Ryan!"

Rappy's response? "You're lying, gullible ( believing in some BS you heard on msnbc ) or hard of hearing."

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Saturday, December 29, 2012 4:01 AM

CANTTAKESKY

Oooh, male dominated thread. Say "sex" and all the dicks come out.

Here's my fav sex quotation:

Sex is good, but not as good as fresh, sweet corn. -- Garrison Keillor

-----

Disobedience is not an issue if obedience is not the goal.

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Saturday, December 29, 2012 5:19 AM

ANONYMOUSE

I don't think any sex quote will ever quite have the impact of Kaylee's (surely we all know what it is!). :) I actually put it on a T-shirt.

Oh, go on, then: :)

"...when I carried such a torch, an' we coulda - goin' on a year now, I ain't had nothin' twixt my nethers weren't run on batteries!"

"Oh, God! I can't know that!"

"I could stand to hear a little more..."

- priceless!

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Saturday, December 29, 2012 10:18 AM

KPO

Sometimes you own the libs. Sometimes, the libs own you.

Quote:
Originally posted by WULFENSTAR:
This is the truth. The best truth you will ever hear.

Shes cute too.

"None of you seem to understand. I'm not locked in here with you... YOU are locked in here with ME."

Sex tips aside, is this the message you want your daughter to hear when she grows up? How to be a devoted girlfriend and wife?

It's not personal. It's just war.

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Saturday, December 29, 2012 11:39 AM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!

Glad ya at least mentioned Kaylee's quote. 1st one that cums to mind.

Fathom the hypocrisy of a government that requires every citizen to prove they are insured... but not everyone must prove they are a citizen

Resident USA Freedom Fundie

" AU, that was great, LOL!! " - Chrisisall

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Tuesday, January 1, 2013 7:06 PM

RIONAEIRE

Beir bua agus beannacht

Some of these are grotty, but some of them are pretty fun, I still love Kaylee's quote! Kaylee's honesty about her needs is refreshing. The bridge one made me smile :)))

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

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