...And you are born... by chrisisall

REAL WORLD EVENT DISCUSSIONS

...And you are born...

POSTED BY: CHRISISALL
UPDATED: Tuesday, January 8, 2013 07:23
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VIEWED: 786
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Sunday, January 6, 2013 5:58 PM

Welcome baby, are you okay? Here, let's feed you some genetically modified formula to keep you healthy (breast milk is so highly over-rated). Infections due to immature immune system? Big Pharm has the answers, for a price! Here, eat dead animals soaked in growth hormones and antibiotics, it's good for you. Watch TV with violence, learn history that reeks of revisionism, buy into romance as if it will complete you. Get anti-depression medicine for your down times, drink alcohol (in limited quantities) for your fun times, studies show it works. Smoking is BAD for you, but you can do it. Sugar in the form of HFCS & whatever they label it next as is cool, and if you get type 2 diabetes, it's just a fluke of genetics. Remember to hate your enemies, this builds strength in character. And have sex to make more of you. Consumers & warriors don't make themselves, you know!

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Monday, January 7, 2013 7:09 AM

FREMDFIRMA

Ohhhh don't eeeven get me started, about six months or so from now imma be right in the freakin middle of that as one of my closest associates is gonna drop the bomb and thus has nominated me as wacky uncle and guardian.. err... umm... villain, yeahhh.

So I am already bulwarking against THAT particular headache.

Side note: I draw the line at changing diapers!
There are nuclear weapons, chemical, and biological... and then, then there is baby poop, we're talkin WMD here, seriously!

-Frem

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Monday, January 7, 2013 7:34 AM

HERO

You forgot to mention that the baby is lucky to be alive since it has no right to exist and congrats, here's the giant tax bill your grandparents and Uncle Barry left you.

H

Hero...must be right on all of this. ALL of the rest of us are wrong. Chrisisall, 2012

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Monday, January 7, 2013 7:38 AM

BYTEMITE

For a while baby poop doesn't have the bacteria to be quite so repulsive.

Then, eventually, the baby poop obtains the bacteria, and as such THE SMELL, and it becomes the second worst thing ever.

The worst thing ever is their obnoxious screams. They have been known to break full grown men and women down into tears themselves, trying to serve these little tyrants with their gigantic lung capacity.

Kittens are a suitable proxy for human infants. I encourage the adoption of kittens.

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Monday, January 7, 2013 7:56 AM

STORYMARK

Quote:
Originally posted by Hero:
You forgot to mention that the baby is lucky to be alive since it has no right to exist and congrats, here's the giant tax bill your grandparents and Uncle Barry left you.

Yeah, the GOP had nothing to do with that tax bill, nosiree.

Good to know you endorse lying to children from the outset.

Excuse me while I soak in all these sweet, sweet conservative tears.

"We will never have the elite, smart people on our side." -- Rick "Frothy" Santorum

"Goram it kid, let's frak this thing and go home! Engage!"

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Monday, January 7, 2013 9:00 AM

CHRISISALL

Quote:
Originally posted by Storymark:

Good to know you endorse lying to children from the outset.

Got to prepare them for the steady stream of it they'll be rowing through in life.

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Monday, January 7, 2013 9:08 AM

CHRISISALL

Quote:
Originally posted by FREMDFIRMA:

Ohhhh don't eeeven get me started, about six months or so from now imma be right in the freakin middle of that as one of my closest associates is gonna drop the bomb and thus has nominated me as wacky uncle and guardian.. err... umm... villain, yeahhh.

"Uncle Frem, I went to the bathroom all by myself today! Now, can you tell me more about the suppression of young minds in society, and the lie that adults are smarter than children? And I need my bottle of milk too. Yo Ho!"

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Monday, January 7, 2013 9:36 AM

RIONAEIRE

Beir bua agus beannacht

Oh, does this mean your ex and her husband are pregnant?!
You can probably get out of changing diapers, I always do, I refuse, and I'm an auntie to four.

I think the poop is worse than the screaming, but the screaming is a good incentive to make sure that all babies in my life go home after a visit. One of the reasons I'm not making any is because I know I don't have the stammina to raise kids 24/7. I love having them visit, or even having them live with me, as long as I'm not the primary carer.

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

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Monday, January 7, 2013 10:56 AM

JONGSSTRAW

Quote:
Originally posted by chrisisall:
Welcome baby, are you okay? Here, let's feed you some genetically modified formula to keep you healthy (breast milk is so highly over-rated). Infections due to immature immune system? Big Pharm has the answers, for a price! Here, eat dead animals soaked in growth hormones and antibiotics, it's good for you. Watch TV with violence, learn history that reeks of revisionism, buy into romance as if it will complete you. Get anti-depression medicine for your down times, drink alcohol (in limited quantities) for your fun times, studies show it works. Smoking is BAD for you, but you can do it. Sugar in the form of HFCS & whatever they label it next as is cool, and if you get type 2 diabetes, it's just a fluke of genetics. Remember to hate your enemies, this builds strength in character. And have sex to make more of you. Consumers & warriors don't make themselves, you know!

Yeah but just imagine the great I-Phone that kid'll have in 10 years! Not to mention that Firefly will be condsidered an old 'classic' by then. And, when she's 20 she'll be able to legally marry her cat.

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Monday, January 7, 2013 12:42 PM

CHRISISALL

Quote:
Originally posted by Jongsstraw:
And, when she's 20 she'll be able to legally marry her cat.

Silly silly straw-ish man.

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Monday, January 7, 2013 3:00 PM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!

Better if we were just dropped on a dusty patch of earth, out on some plain, and then have to dodge lions and hyenas and wolves, while the tribe looks for a food source, and a suitable shelter. Maybe a nice cave, huh?

"False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil." - Socrates

" I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend. "

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Monday, January 7, 2013 7:28 PM

JONGSSTRAW

Quote:
Originally posted by chrisisall:
Quote:
Originally posted by Jongsstraw:
And, when she's 20 she'll be able to legally marry her cat.
Silly silly straw-ish man.

Not all that silly, because at that future date I hope to finally be able to get the wife to agree to a meow-a-trois.

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Tuesday, January 8, 2013 7:23 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

No, Chris is right. Not just silly, but stupid. And not even rising to the level of straw man...just stupid. I expect better from you.

Tit for tat got us where we are today. If we want to be grownups, we need to resist the ugliness. If we each did, this would be a better reflection on Firefly and a more welcome place. I will try.

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