Time to Go. (public service message: this may be a goodbye thread) by RionaEire

REAL WORLD EVENT DISCUSSIONS

Time to Go. (public service message: this may be a goodbye thread)

POSTED BY: RIONAEIRE
UPDATED: Monday, April 8, 2013 10:12
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VIEWED: 16995
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Sunday, March 31, 2013 7:25 PM

Honestly Riona, I'm genuinely happy for so many reasons at your post....

At the same time, I'm not a good "mentor". If you're not posting here, I have no idea how you're doing otherwise....

Not that I should ever be a mentor for anybody, or more importantly had you ever asked for one.....

Please let me know that you'll keep in touch if you truly are done with the RWED.

In the nearly 10 years with large breaks in between of posting in the RWED, I've only met a very small few people I've actually cared about. Please let me know that you're doing alright.

At the same time, leaving here is the best thing you could do. Please find a hobby and/or passion to follow without the chains of sides and pre-disposed opinions. Fuck the RWED...... You are so much more worthy of life than constantly subjecting yourself to the opinions of idiots who will willingly talk to me on a day to day basis.

Sure, you'll probably never be a rock star, but you're going to be the girl who grew up to wear Her own Dreamcoat.....

Much love,
Jack

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Sunday, March 31, 2013 9:04 PM

JO753

rezident owtsidr

Wuts all this then?

Bin very bizzy for a few months, so havent had time for this place. (still bizzy actually)

Without going over all the posts here or finding the Hitler topic, I'd still like to post a reply that mite help.

Your expectation uv familiarity iz ill considered.

Here we are, reduced to stringz uv letterz on a screen. Nobody knowz our voice. No imij to anchor our wordz. Most uv us go by a made up name. We may hav a tiny little pik in the corner - an 'avatar' to add a little color and hint at our tastes.

Therez a kind uv purity to it. That you wont be jujd by anything but the ideaz you prezent. In real life, everything about you influensez the reseption your wordz get. Makes all the difference between sekses and failure. In an internet forum, you coud hope that lojik and meaning woud be left unclouded by all the distractionz uv real life.

This iz not the case unfortunately, so the lack uv personal detail duznt work. Ideaz do not sell themselvez. They are not accepted purely on their merits. Lojik duznt chanje anybodyz mind.

So the mask servez only to keep us anonymous.

If you want to be frendz with anybody here, you hav to let us know you. Having the same avatar az a haf dozen otherz duznt help. Fake name duznt help.

And you hav to keep in mind that youre competing with a bunch uv other memberz here for anybodyz attention and the entire forum iz competeing with the rest uv the internet for our time and the internet iz competing with TV and real life for our time and attention. And this real life haz real people with complete 3D moving imajez with real voicez and smellz and you can really touch them! All that kinda blowz away the little black letterz strung together on our little 2D screenz.

You want real frendz here? Try harder.

----------------------------
DUZ XaT SEM RiT TQ YQ? - Jubal Early

http://www.nooalf.com

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Monday, April 1, 2013 6:39 PM

SIGNYM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.

JO- good points.

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Tuesday, April 2, 2013 1:00 PM

RIONAEIRE

Beir bua agus beannacht

But Joe, that's the point. I _have let everyone know me well. And my reward, or punishment, is having spent lots of time investing in relationships here and realizing that they aren't going anywhere.

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

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Tuesday, April 2, 2013 2:17 PM

HKCAVALIER

I don't think you're understanding what Jo is saying, Ri. I know a good half dozen people on this board I can call friends. If I were in their town and I called 'em up, we'd have dinner. If I showed up on their doorstep, I know they'd take me in. And I hope they know I would be there for them if it came to that. And most of them have said some pretty harsh things to me at one time or another. To gain friends, you gotta BE a friend. And you definitely don't make friends by devising tests they don't even know they're taking until they fail 'em.

HKCavalier

Hey, hey, hey, don't be mean. We don't have to be mean, because, remember, no matter where you go, there you are.

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Wednesday, April 3, 2013 12:26 AM

6IXSTRINGJACK

Quote:
Originally posted by RionaEire:
But Joe, that's the point. I _have let everyone know me well. And my reward, or punishment, is having spent lots of time investing in relationships here and realizing that they aren't going anywhere.

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

I hate to break this to you Riona, but largely, the RWED is the last place you should have ever gone if building relationships was your priority.

I surely didn't come here back in 2006 for friends. Actually, I had a lot more friends than I do now in 2013. Sure, they're still my "friends" but so long as I'm not married myself, hanging out with them is made awkward by their wives....

If looking for friends was your "end game", I suggest you not only leave the RWED forever, but you smash your computer to bits....

I've only made 2 real friends since I've been here, and one of them basically told me to F myself when I was drunk enough one night and lost control and used a few expletives to finally let her know that I knew she was a sub-human.

I'm happy if you do leave the RWED forever....

You're far to good a person to be here in the first place.

Why surround yourself with so many worthless people going nowhere?

Save yourself while there's still something left of yourself to save.

Much love,
~Jack

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Wednesday, April 3, 2013 2:35 PM

RIONAEIRE

Beir bua agus beannacht

I have many friends in real life, but what i wanted was friends to talk to when I couldn't talk to or do things with my "real life" friends. So I thought "well online there are people all the time, someone is always on and not busy.". Oh well.

And Jack if you want to talk to me you know where to find me.

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

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Wednesday, April 3, 2013 5:08 PM

SIGNYM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.

Riona, your friends must be a very passive sort. They don't react to your little tests and they don't care what you think. It's almost as if there is no friendship there at all.

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Wednesday, April 3, 2013 7:31 PM

RIONAEIRE

Beir bua agus beannacht

My friends are normal people, unlike this lot it seems, you guys are much more uptight and problematic. Sometimes the venue you know someone in alters your experiences I reckon. I don't have the problems in real life that I have with y'all. Maybe everyone is different in real life. I think in real life we're all nicer to each other for instance, because in real life you can't say exactly what you think, you see those people all the time so you choose to get on with them, because there are reprecussions if you don't.

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

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Wednesday, April 3, 2013 7:45 PM

1KIKI

Goodbye, kind world (George Monbiot) - In common with all those generations which have contemplated catastrophe, we appear to be incapable of understanding what confronts us.

"I think in real life we're all nicer to each other for instance ..."

So IRL you DON'T go up to your friends and tell them "I've been testing you all for how many lies you tell (as an example) and most of you failed my honesty test". Even though you might be thinking about it, and doing the test in your head, you won't TELL them about it b/c you choose to not alienate people you need, or might need.

But you do it here, and wonder why you don't have the same kind of friendships you have IRL.

Maybe you need to put those ideas side by side and see if one answers the other.

And might I suggest you consider the nature of a friendship which is built on calculating honesty based on someone's use value to you? Personally, I can understand such a calculation, I'm just not sure I would call those people friends.

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Wednesday, April 3, 2013 9:16 PM

1KIKI

Goodbye, kind world (George Monbiot) - In common with all those generations which have contemplated catastrophe, we appear to be incapable of understanding what confronts us.

I thought about adding this in, but I hope by posting it separately you'll have a better chance of reading it.

As I re-read my earlier post I think it might sound critical towards people who need other people to help them out. But no one on this planet gets through life totally on their own merits. And unfortunately this is a very harsh country and a very harsh economic system, even for the young, the strong, the smart, and the fully able. Unless you're born into wealth or have that path made for you, life can be very, very tough.

So I understand about politic silence. Pragmatic silence. I've been there myself. And there's a fine line between honesty on the one hand and going overboard with it till everything is all about you, all the time, and compulsive TMI on the other.

I just wonder if it might be a good idea to acknowledge to yourself the whys and wherefores of how you move through life in order to have a better understanding of yourself.

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Thursday, April 4, 2013 9:50 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

This is another NON-RWED thread I think we should let go. It became a Riona-and-Six-love-fest for a bit, and I figured they'd "get a room" and talk to one another after that, but bringing it back to rag on Riona is just silly. I agree, obviously she has some problems recognizing the reality of the internet, and especially RWED I would say, and certainly this has become FAR more the "oh poor me" thread mine was accused of being, but you're not going to get through to her, you know that, don't you?

Ironically, I AM pretty much the same here as IRL, and have always been a bit confused why others aren't. I have time to THINK about what I'll write, so in that way I have no doubt I'm different, but it wouldn't occur to me to utilize the internet to play tricks/games on people or "test" them, or pretend to be nicer than I am, OR pretend to be nastier. I don't know what people get out of that, never figured that out.

Nobody says everything they think, here or IRL, obviously. But I definitely get an impression of falseness from Riona, have from the start, and her admissions about how she's dealt with us served to confirm my initial impression in that regard. I think anyone who comes to RWED, particularly, with an expectation of "friendship", has real problems. When I find someone interesting here, I PM them and maybe we get into a conversation, exchange e-mails, and that can lead to a kind of friendship. But that's a whole lot different, to me, from posting and having some kind of expectation that everyone else will pay attention, remember what you wrote, and become your "friend". That's just weird.

Jo nailed it, and Riona being so pissed off by Cav's casual remarks that she dissed US ALL--the negativity she claimed in the Hitler thread just isn't THERE--and the timing of her "public service message" (by the way, what's the public service in the message, I wondered?), says to me that her goodbye isn't what it appeared to be, and this thread continuing just reaffirms that.

Mostly, tho', in my own personal opinion, it does no good to continue to try to communicate with Riona when she's said clearly she's outta here, she's obviously not understood what others have written to her, and this had devolved into nothing but Six apparently stroking her ego. Why keep harping on it?

That said, harp away. My first and only effort to suggest we look around for REAL real world events to play with. This ain't one. And for the predictable "you have no right to tell anyone...", no, I'm not. I'm suggesting it, and expressing my opinion. Period.

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Thursday, April 4, 2013 1:25 PM

RIONAEIRE

Beir bua agus beannacht

The "public service message" bit was a nod to a joke Raptor made recently (recently when I posted this), I thought he'd think it was funny, but he didn't read the thread so that's neither here nor there.

I don't understand where the "falseness" thing is coming from. I did _one experiment a year ago on y'all, out of curiosity and all it consisted of was counting how many name calling incidents occurred in a week long period, in response to people speculating on who does it the most. Any one else could have done the exact same thing, all it was was observation, there was nothing more to it than that, I didn't trick anyone into zapping each other when they got answers wrong or have everyone pretend to be prisoners and guards and then switch you, so I don't understand what the to-do is about. All I can reckon on is that people don't get to get upset at their real life comrades so when someone online does something that bothers them they unleash that pent up reality frustration they experience but can't express.

So if I'm being repremanded for being observant and then telling everyone what I've observed then ... then I don't really get it, nevermind. :?

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

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Thursday, April 4, 2013 4:39 PM

1KIKI

Goodbye, kind world (George Monbiot) - In common with all those generations which have contemplated catastrophe, we appear to be incapable of understanding what confronts us.

Yes, this is pretty drawn out.

RI

As I remember you announced to everyone you had been running a 'test' and you would release the 'results' shortly. Even you called it that. Speaking of sitting as judge, jury and executioner - you set your rules, tallied your tallies and judged the participants, who were quite unknowingly participating in your self-described 'test'. So your new and self-justifying description doesn't quite tally with what you posted at the time.

But quibbling over details is missing the bigger picture. The questions are: WOULD YOU DO THIS TO YOUR FRIENDS IRL? ... ... ... AND WHY NOT?

Maybe you can answer those questions. It might help you get at the difference in dynamic between how you act IRL and here, and why it gets you different results.

Other than that, yeah, this is getting stale ...

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Thursday, April 4, 2013 7:08 PM

MAGONSDAUGHTER

Ahem, from your first post

Quote:
But an experience recently has showed me that you guys aren't really my friends, at least I've come to believe you're not. I've seen people be mean when someone posts things that happen in their real world, and I was curious to know if the same would happen to me. Sure enough, I tried the experiment of posting a real world event in my life and I think I got the answers I was seeking. The answer seems to be that none of you actually value my friendship or our connections, however fleeting they may be. So I think I'm going to finish posting on this forum.

Perlease.... this thread needs to die.

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Friday, April 5, 2013 12:13 PM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

Sorry Magons, to bring it back by responding, it does deserve to die. But I wanted to add that I, too, noted the specific language of the FIRST "test" Riona ran, and was going to pipe up and remark that the "Hitler" thread had been referred to her as an "experiment" as well. I see you caught that. I noticed it both times...so what's the discrepancy between what Riona called a "test" before and now claims was just "observation", and her saying it was the only such thing, when she clearly created the Hitler thread as a second experiment?

That's an example of the falsness I've detected over time, to answer the question posed. Those aren't the only ones I noted over time, but they're good examples as they're clear. You see, Riona, people may not remember what your hobbies are, but discrepancies sometimes stick in the brain. For me, personally, saying you wouldn't call the man who disagreed with you about St. Patrick a "drama queen" TO HIS FACE--supposedly because that would be mean--but were happy to among us, also stuck in my brain. I don't think he was a drama queen at all, and in my opinion your rather virulent reaction to Cav's remarks, which I certainly didn't see as being nearly as nasty as you did, nor as personal (if you recall what you wrote at the time), as a bit drama queenish. JMHO.

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Friday, April 5, 2013 12:31 PM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

Once again, this is, according to Riona, what caused her to say she was leaving. She put up an "experiment" about a "real-world situation" and asked everyone's opinions. Cav responded by explaining that what St. Patrick did WAS genocide (I quoted that part earlier in this thread), and chided her with:

Quote:
And now after a couple minutes googling, I see that this information is readily available on the internet. Riona, if you cared, all you would have had to do was look it up instead of presuming that this guy was crazy. I find your breezy dismissal of the cultural devastation wrought by your heroes pretty disturbing. Have at least a little tact. Ignorance is no excuse when anyone can google.

And this was your reaction, Riona:

Quote:
Cav's response was obviously the meanest, he thinks he knows everything about everything and ...
....
Cav is definitely who I'm really mad at, he insinuated that I don't care about Irish culture, which ultimately was very unkind, does he not read my posts? Maybe I'm not vocal enough about how my inner being is Irish and I perform trad. Furthermore he insinuates that I'm just a mean closed minded person. Sure there are a few things that I'm closed minded about and I admit that without reservation. But his lack of the knowing of me is unsavory. I feel like people don't really listen to each other on this forum as much as you'd think they would. I know a bucket load about all of you, only based on what you've posted of course, but I remember what people say and no one else seems to do that. So Cav, even though I know more about him than I need to, doesn't know anything about me, or at least very little. friends know things about each other and pay attention to each other.
....
I'm used to being disagreed with, but what Cav did was something beyond that, he was insinuating things about me that are unfair, especially since he's not observant enough to have gotten to know me over 2 years.

I wouldn't even say "drama queen". I would call that an out-and-out hissy fit, for very little reason, and the fact that you trashed all the rest of us at the same time, saying we'd all been "mean" to you, or something like that:

Quote:
But an experience recently has showed me that you guys aren't really my friends, at least I've come to believe you're not. I've seen people be mean when someone posts things that happen in their real world, and I was curious to know if the same would happen to me. Sure enough, I tried the experiment of posting a real world event in my life and I think I got the answers I was seeking. The answer seems to be that none of you actually value my friendship or our connections, however fleeting they may be. So I think I'm going to finish posting on this forum.

Personally, given that nobody in that thread was what most of us would consider "mean" (CERTAINLY not by RWED standards!), and people actually were quite gentle in trying to help you understand how the guy felt, I've had the feeling from the start that this entire thing has been quite deliberate...for what possible reason, I can't imagine. The fact that it came right after I intended to leave the board made me suspicious at the time; Cav's remarks and your reaction to them intensified that impression, and now you claiming you only had one "observation", which in fact you called a test and then later "ran" this "experiment" on us, pretty much confirms it.

I really think you should go back to your love fest with Six; he's willing to give you the strokes you want and isn't particularly interested in your honesty, apparently. Me, yeah, I take offense; I don't like liars. It's a "thing" for me, which is why Frem calling me one made the impression it did on ME...and you claiming you haven't toyed with us is a lie. Twice. Period.

Don't kid yourself, it has nothing to do with "that pent up reality frustration they experience but can't express". You're being held responsible for what you did and what you wrote, right here.

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Sunday, April 7, 2013 5:45 PM

RIONAEIRE

Beir bua agus beannacht

I think I only used the word "experiment" for this incident because I was (still am) pissed off at the whole kitten caboodle and I knew that using that word would make you all pissed off too. You guys are too predictable. But the Hitler thread was an honest test to see what would happen. And this thread has confirmed everything I thought in spades. The only reason I keep responding to this one is because you guys keep doing it. I'm not reading anything else on here, I glance at the titles and think "why bother?" and don't say anything.

In all factuality that original "experiment thread was supposed to say the results right away and not be drawn out like it was, but Thurs. came along and I was extra busy and I'm away from the computer on the weekends, don't have access to one, so the whole thing blew up bigger than it would have. I guess we can blame reality for that one. I just think that if people can't remember anything about the things you do regularly and the things you care about and yet the couple of mistakes you make (the mistake was telling y'all) stick with them like burs on puppy dogs then they're not your friends, plain and simple, spoken and bound.

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

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Sunday, April 7, 2013 6:33 PM

MAGONSDAUGHTER

You're a strange lassie, Rione.

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Sunday, April 7, 2013 6:42 PM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)

Man, is this thing still going?

So is Riona staying or going?

And why do people feel the need to make a big announcement when they intend to storm off in a huff? Are they concerned nobody will notice their absence if they don't announce it beforehand?

If I'm not here, I'm not here; I don't need to tell everyone. Those who miss me will notice, others won't. When I die, it will be the same: some will notice my absence, others will celebrate it, and most won't ever know.

I don't really do ultimatums. I don't say "I'm leaving for good!", because I may very well be back. (Here, I mean, not in life and death; in real life and true death, when you're gone, you stay gone, forever.)

So Riona, if you want to leave, then you have that freedom. If you want to come back, I'm sure the lights will still be on, even if we're out of gas and most of the crew has gone off in opposite directions in the shuttles.

"I supported Bush in 2000 and 2004 and intellegence [sic] had very little to do with that decision." - Hero

"I was wrong" - Hero, 2012

Mitt Romney, introducing his running mate: "Join me in welcoming the next President of the United States, Paul Ryan!"

Rappy's response? "You're lying, gullible ( believing in some BS you heard on msnbc ) or hard of hearing."

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Monday, April 8, 2013 7:13 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

Yeah, Mike, Riona gets something out of continuing to post, but that's her right and privilege. I didn't "announce" my leaving, I replied to a question with an explanation of why I felt it best I should leave; changed my mind, gave the reasons for that too, and that's the end of it, as far as I'm concerned. I, too, don't understand the desire to make a big announcement, much less prolong it like she has. But to each his own.

Yes, she is, isn't she, Magons? She doesn't get it at all; that playing people false by experimenting on them and "testing" them, then telling them all off--and again, she told us all we weren't her "friends" because people (I wasn't even here) were supposedly "mean" to her about a real-world experience, when the only person who was even mildly negative toward her was Cav (again, I suggest the whole thing was a sham)--is a dichotomy, especially when it comes to the concept of "friendship". Totally unclear on the concept. "I knew that using that word would make you all pissed off too." I wonder what Riona's concept of friendship actually IS? Something pretty one-sided, I'm guessing; she gets to do whatever she wants, her "friends" don't get to object. She gets to accuse some guy who took offense at her favorite sainty person because that person committed genocide of being a "drama queen"--which she wouldn't tell him to his face because it would be "mean", but is happy to demean him here to everyone else, and righteously pissed off at us that we don't all wholeheartedly agree, to the point of leaving in a huff.

Boy, I'm glad I don't have friends like that! Truth is, when you don't tell people what's going on in your relationships with them, they can't know you're not really their friend; you told us where we stand with you, Riona, quite clearly and several times, even to the point of further toying with us JUST to piss us off. Reacting predictably to something most people would react negatively to seems to be further justification for you; for me, it's just further proof that you play people false.

"I guess we can blame reality for that one." No, the RESPONSIBILITY for running that "test" is on you; doesn't matter when you came out with the "results". The pertinent fact is that you ran a test, then ran another one by putting up a thread about something that happened and JUDGING what the results were. And I say again; there wasn't a damned thing in the Hitler thread that warranted your trashing everyone here the way you did; I think the whole thing was a put-up job and you used Cav as an exacuse to complain that people weren't paying enough attention to you to remember details about you...which seems to be some kind of criteria for "friend" for you, apparently.

As long as you keep posting, others will probably keep posting; I'm not your friend, never was, and I alternate between shaking my head at how silly you are to keep this thread going and almost enjoying how you keep digging yourself in deeper. It's sad, but very illuminating. You'd be better off having your love fest with Six in e-mail or something, that way you can diss us all to your heart's content and nobody will speak up to disagree with you.

Just as long as you keep posting here, you have nothing to complain about. You are, of course, quite welcome to keep on complaining, however. The choice is yours.

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Monday, April 8, 2013 10:12 AM

KWICKO

Riona, a true friend will tell you the things you don't want to hear, but NEED to hear.

Some of your favorite people in history were monsters. Oh well. Probably some of EVERYONE'S favorite people in history did monstrous things.

"I supported Bush in 2000 and 2004 and intellegence [sic] had very little to do with that decision." - Hero

"I was wrong" - Hero, 2012

Mitt Romney, introducing his running mate: "Join me in welcoming the next President of the United States, Paul Ryan!"

Rappy's response? "You're lying, gullible ( believing in some BS you heard on msnbc ) or hard of hearing."

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