Prosecutor: Nine teens charged in bullying that led to girl's suicide by Niki2

REAL WORLD EVENT DISCUSSIONS

Prosecutor: Nine teens charged in bullying that led to girl's suicide

POSTED BY: NIKI2
UPDATED: Friday, April 2, 2010 06:06
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 1193
PAGE 1 of 1

Tuesday, March 30, 2010 9:11 AM

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

It's awful what's happening to our kids today. Youngsters shooting each other, groups raping girls, this kind of stuff. Yes, I know teen years have always been hell, but it must have been a special hell for her to do this

Quote:
Nine Massachusetts teenagers have been charged with involvement in a monthslong campaign of bullying that led to the January suicide of a 15-year-old girl, a prosecutor said.

Phoebe Prince's body was found hanging in the stairway leading to her family's second-floor apartment in South Hadley, Northwestern District Attorney Elizabeth D. Scheibel told reporters Monday in the western Massachusetts town of Northampton.

"It appears that Phoebe's death on January 14 followed a torturous day for her when she was subjected to verbal harassment and physical abuse," Scheibel said.

Earlier that day, Phoebe had been harassed as she studied in the library at South Hadley High School, apparently in the presence of a faculty member and several students, none of whom reported it until after the girl's death, Scheibel said.

Phoebe, who had recently moved to the area with her family from Ireland, also was harassed as she walked through the halls of the school that day and as she walked on the street toward her home, the prosecutor said.

The harassment that day, by one male and two females, "appears to have been motivated by the group's displeasure with Phoebe's brief dating relationship with a male student that had ended six weeks earlier," she said.

But that day's events were not isolated; they "were the culmination of a nearly three-month campaign of verbally abusive, assaultive behavior and threats of physical harm toward Phoebe on school grounds by several South Hadley students," Scheibel added.

"Their conduct far exceeded the limits of normal teenage relationship-related quarrels. The investigation revealed relentless activity directed toward Phoebe designed to humiliate her and to make it impossible for her to remain at school."

http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/03/30/massachusetts.bullying.suicide/ind
ex.html?hpt=T1

"I'm just right. Kinda like the sun rising in the east and the world being round...its not a need its just the way it is." The Delusional "Hero", 3/1/10

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, March 30, 2010 1:05 PM

FREMDFIRMA

It's Tempest Smith all over again.

And the school knew, and took no action, once again supporting it in a de-facto fashion by refusing to act upon it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tempest_Smith
http://tempestsmithfoundation.org/index.htm

And so the students get charged, and the Faculty and Administration once again gets a free pass.

But not for bloody long....

-F

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, March 30, 2010 1:12 PM

SIGNYM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.

There are waaaaay too many bullied kids in school. But it seems to me the only time schools take action to make sure it doesn't happen again is when a kid, driven to the end of tolerance, picks up a gun.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, March 30, 2010 1:39 PM

FREMDFIRMA

The worst part of that, Siggy, was that they were made aware of this in 1978 - I should know, given that the school I went to at the time was one of the ones they sampled before they made their conclusions, and even THEN, I was interested enough in this issue to ask some questions of my own.

And BINGO, I remembered the name and ran it through ERIC - here's the report in question.
http://www.eric.ed.gov/ERICWebPortal/custom/portlets/recordDetails/det
ailmini.jsp?_nfpb=true&_&ERICExtSearch_SearchValue_0=ED149464&ERICExtSearch_SearchType_0=no&accno=ED149464

I might have a fulltext PDF around here if I can find it - of particular interest was an incident that happened at that school, when a child who was being bullied brought a knife to school and stood them off with it successfully.

Although his efforts to get something done about the bullies fell on deaf ears and got him labelled a rat and a tattletale, the stood-off bullies went running to the principal, and the student in question was disarmed and disciplined.

Not that it mattered, since two hours later they kicked him to death in the north side stairwell.

A lot of how I eventually came to feel about weapons and self defense was influenced heavily by that incident - he was disarmed by the folk supposed to be protecting him, and handed over on a plate, more or less, to the bullies who killed him.

I will *not* be disarmed, not by no one.

But that's a different thing - words can be a weapon just as harmful as any, more so, over time, and yet stuff that could get a spouse or parent lit up in court as abuse is suddenly and magically "just words" when it's inconvenient for the school to do something about it ?

The same behavior and violence that would get you arrested anywhere else is just "kids goofing off" ?

Bullshit - I am tired of the excuses, ESPECIALLY in light to how they *completely freak out* at the thought of a student who has been left defenseless BY them, choosing to brook their will and defend themselves, with words or weapon, something which they will come down on with a bang all the while ignoring the aggressors the student is reacting to - it speaks heavily to me of what side the administration is on.

Matter of fact, imma post an original editorial I once wrote under a different name, regarding that exact issue, moral responsibility, and I think the links still work.

-F

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, March 30, 2010 1:39 PM

FREMDFIRMA

Death At 3PM

by XXXXXXXX

School lets out at 3pm.
http://www.ncjrs.org/html/ojjdp/9911_1/vio1.html
http://www.ncjrs.org/html/ojjdp/9911_1/vio2.html

These charts show without one ounce of doubt, that school is a contributory factor in crime...and here's why, tho no one will admit it.

A student often harrassed by his peers more often than likely...WILL BE ARMED, once he returns home and gets out and about.

But on his way home from school, he will not be, nor will he have neighbor/parental support to back him up...by demanding that our children come to school unarmed (which is rational, and understandable) - we then take some responsibility for protecting them from harm.

The same principle applies at, say...Social Security...the sign on the door clearly indicates you must leave your weapons behind to enter the building, and beside that door is an ARMED guard...the presence of whom I find downright comforting when I have left my weapons in the car.

If I must be defenseless by the rules of the organization I am entering, it is their responsibility, morally...to defend me, period.

The SAME applies to schools...the child appearing at the bus stop to confront six larger kids who are going to kick the shit out of him does so unarmed because it is the schools policy that he not board the bus with a weapon...but where is the school when his safety is now endangered because he is unarmed ?

And on the way home, many times it is a "race" to get "home safe" and more than likely armed....before your aggressors get to you - where is the school then, by who's demands you are unarmed ?

If the school is going to demand compliance with certain rules that cause increased risks to their students (and usually FROM other students) - then the school is going to have to take responsibility for what happens to them....even if it's off school grounds, even if it's after school.

Now, consider well the mindset of the tormented child - the school demands he be certain places at certain times, and unarmed...and his tormenters know where he will be, and that he will be defenseless....and as well most of them know the teachers are going home and the school will not take responsibility for anything that happens after school or off the property.

In the mind of the victim, the school has "set him up" to be abused, and therefore a knowing and willing participant, especially if he's brought it up with them and been told there is nothing they can do after-hours or off the property.

And the sick thing is...the child is correct, the school places him in such situations, and then refuses to take their share of responsibility for what then happens to him.

Yet, now...if it was an adult, a stranger...they might act, but as long as it's students from the same school, they do nothing, how convenient.

What needs be done is to make the school system legally and financially responsible to some degree in cases where harm comes of it, for it is by their mandate the student is in this place, at this time, and not armed - and therefore easier to victimize.

=============
And yes, the links still DO work.
I've known this since before I was even ten years old, and have been trying to get it addressed ever since, only to be completely ignored for the most part by anyone with the power to change it, and it is that fact as much as any other which convinces me the current public school system model is simply unsalvageable at any cost, and adoption of the Sudbury model is really the only hope for future public education.

-F

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, March 31, 2010 9:04 AM

BYTEMITE

I saw a follow up article to this today.

http://www.slate.com/id/2249307/?GT1=38001

Quote:
When Smith rose to speak, he choked up. "What's been happening has to stop in our community," he said. "I look around and see a lot of soldiers tonight, which is good. We need you." He described how the anti-bullying taskforce would organize itself going forward, and asked for volunteers. He concluded, "I'm really hopeful for our kids—for their good, which so many of you are here about, and that it's time to move on."

Frem, you totally called it, but even though I was expecting it, I still have to give a WTF?! here.

"Time to move on?" Oh, yeah, pushing the incident under a rug is gonna make that laughable anti-bullying taskforce with all it's lack of guidance and dwindling numbers sooooo successful. He gives away what he's really about there. "Thanks for supporting me, otherwise I'd be in jail for gross negligence!"

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, March 31, 2010 9:16 AM

BYTEMITE

"Just words when it's convenient."

Compare to:

Quote:
Teachers at the school are aghast at how it's being treated in the media. "I wouldn't teach here if the climate truly was as it's being portrayed," one told me. When I talked with a group of South Hadley students earlier this month, the prevailing sentiment was that, yes, Phoebe had been mistreated but not in some unprecedented way. "A lot of it was normal girl drama," one girl told me. "If you want to label it bullying, then I've bullied girls and girls have bullied me. Her history made it affect her more. It wasn't the school being terrible. It was really bad, it was one of the worst things I've heard of some girls doing to another girl. But it wouldn't have hurt most people that much."

"worst things I've heard girls do to another girl." "Would've have hurt most people that much."

Um HELLLLO? Mutually exclusive statements!

But then, logic doesn't fit the situation of returning to the status quo and denying the problem. Blaming the VICTIM though, hey! There we go!

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, March 31, 2010 9:36 AM

SIGNYM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.

Oh, how frustrating! Teachers, denying their moral culpability!

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, March 31, 2010 9:36 AM

MINCINGBEAST

[accomplished bully, and jerk, wanders into thread]

im going to follow this case with great interest. i reserve comment until i learn more about the specific facts on the ground--though anything that could drive someone to death at their own hand suggests it was rather serious.

very curious about the charges, and the evidence presented to sustain them. sneaky suspicion that there will be several accquitals. wondering where this fits on the megan meier continuum, what with the tech. angle...

bullies today just have so many better tools at their disposal.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, March 31, 2010 11:13 AM

BYTEMITE

Quote:
Oh, how frustrating! Teachers, denying their moral culpability!

... I honestly can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not.

Either way, surely this could have been avoided? Somehow? Maybe if the reports of bullying weren't just brushed aside or shrugged off as girls being mean, or claimed that the victim just wasn't tough enough to deal with the constant harassment and verbal abuse?

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, March 31, 2010 12:47 PM

FREMDFIRMA

Quote:
Originally posted by mincingbeast:
bullies today just have so many better tools at their disposal.

Double edged sword, those.

Like the surveillence system I've turned into a watchdog on the admins of my nieces school - their pathetic attempts to keep me out of it have totally failed, and now they find themselves hoisted on their own petard to where they have to leave their comfortable offices (and thus find themselves at the mercy of their victi.. err, students!) in order to have a conversation which will not be potentially recorded and attributed.

Like the tremendous net-based assaults upon a couple bullies at the hands of the Goonswarm from the Something Awful forums, or at the hands of the 4Chan crowd.

And for those rare few fortunate enough for their pleas to reach certain folk, swift and sure resolution of the problem by other means, usually non violent cause there ain't much need to be.

But I know my limitations, we all have our flaws, and a certain sadism towards these types is one of mine.

I generally send someone else to handle this kinda thing, since by the time these punks are fifteen to eighteen that behavior has calcified to where it's a large part of who they are and what they'll become, and as such I feel that the would would be better served if they were worm food, thus I have little moral restraint towards doin em harm, and a substantive amount of it - and so, I send someone ELSE, yanno ?

Heavens have mercy on someone who does that shit right in front of me though, cause I'll have none.

As for the causes and effects, as I said, I knew all that before I was even ten, and have written many many editorials under other names trying to draw attention to it, some of which got published, by folk who'd have prolly shit a brick if they realized how old the author was at the time.

In fact, brace yourselves, imma post four of em, boomboomboom here, as relevant now as they ever were.

-Frem

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, March 31, 2010 12:49 PM

FREMDFIRMA

Lessons from Columbine

by XXXXXXXX

(Note: This was written about 20 minutes after someone told me the very basics of what happened at Colombine High School.)

This is in response to many discussions about the recent incident in Colorado, and the cries of horror that have been heard over it.

I did not read any news story on it yet, choosing to write this bit first from an unbiased perspective.

Although the individuals who performed the deeds are, in fact, responsible for their own actions, something else must be considered. Nobody commits murder/suicide if their life has any value to them whatsoever. People do not just "snap" for no reason.

Why did these individuals no longer value their own lives, and what stresses caused them to act in such a manner? Let me give you something to think about.

Adults so quickly forget the teen years, don't they? Not the incidents themselves, no, but the awesome pressures of the moment are so quickly forgotten. Maybe, just maybe, because they do not want to face the remembrance?

Allow me to remind you.

# The residual hormonal and body changes that come with growing up and their associated effects on one's body and one's consciousness of body, sexuality and behavior is a stress factor often joked about but never effectively taken into consideration.

# The distancing from actual childhood takes place during this period and is often a very painful experience with pressures from both parents and peers to close the door forever on what is to many, forevermore, the best part of their life. The penalties for non-compliance with this social demand include outcasting, social stigmata and scorn from all hands, including even otherwise supportive parents.

# The seemingly endless set of "Catch-22" situations, like the infamous job/experience hassle. You need experience to get many jobs, but without getting the job, how do you get the experience? This with the usual pressures of having no finances without employment, causing social stigma and scorn, and the pressure from parents to "get a job, be responsible" and the apparent lack of understanding when the teenager's job applications seem to disappear into employment limbo without a trace. And, in some cases, the lack of belief on the part of the parents that the teenager is trying hard enough to find a job. If that is not stress, nothing is.

Then there is the car/phone/job hassle. "Must have own car and phone," and this from a job that will not even pay the car insurance if the teen goes on the policy. The phone is not usually a problem, but use of the car usually would be, especially in a one-car family. That severely limits the employment prospects.

# The job itself, if one is found. Teens are not stupid. Most are bright enough to realize that it is easier for the fast food joint near the school to simply fire them and hire someone else rather than give them that raise. It isn't like they won't have fifty more students applying next month, so many will do literally anything to keep the job, causing more stress. If/when they are "disposed of" by the fast-food restaurant, they feel completely used and are very hurt by the treatment they just received by the "adult world." They have just been used and cast aside as human garbage, and if it did not have a serious emotional impact it would be a surprise.

Then there is managing the job, homework, school and life. Of the four, life often gets shorted, leaving the teen feeling like their life really has no value or quality. To be completely honest, at that point it usually has little of either. Case in point: when the fast food joint demands more hours be worked, or that the student work until closing time under threat of termination. The teen looks ahead and what do they see? One more obstacle.

# Catch-23, the years between 18-21. This is a very long, perceptively, three years. At this point the teen has all the responsibilities of an adult, yet not a single one of the privileges save the ability to enlist in the armed forces, and that is a dubious "privilege" at best. They can be tried and charged for crimes as an adult; they can be thrown out by their parents and are expected to have and handle all the responsibilities, but without some very needed advantages. Many job opportunities are closed to them on the grounds of age alone, and so are many forms of financial abilities. The average wage scale for that age is so far below the standard of living that by casting one's child out at the age of 18, many parents condemn them to living in the ghetto and working 60-hour weeks just to survive in a very hostile environment. Heaven help them if they have a car, due to the nature of car insurance. One job simply will not do, and then it becomes, again, a life without value or quality. The teen has little hope, working so many hours that the thought of even having the time to look for a better job is laughable.

And what should happen if they become laid off? No money, no experience at other forms of work, missed bills, missed rent, destroyed credit, homelessness, and social stigmata as a "failure." A life almost utterly devoid of hope, and without hope, many turn to drugs, alcohol or suicide in place of the harsh realities the "adults" have rammed down their throats on the pike of "society."

Now take all this into account. That's a "normal" teen's life.

Add a few more disadvantages, say lack of social skills or physical beauty, perhaps a little poverty at home even, or parents other than fully supportive and understanding. Looks grim, doesn't it?

Under these terrible pressures, of which I have only listed a rare few, many teens will seek escape by any means they can get it. The mental anguish and abuses forced on them in the name of society makes them bitter and hardened, and they feel little value not only for their own lives but for the lives of others. Some turn to drugs, some alcohol, some suicide, and while all these tragedies are so common that the press does not even bother reporting them as newsworthy, some rare few choose a fourth option.

Vengeance. They choose to die. To them, their life has just become a coin to buy "a little payback" for all those years of hurt.

"Just walk away." And paint the bullseye on your back? Get real.

"Talk to an administrator." And get brushed off AND labeled a "rat?" No, thanks.

The list goes on, but a little remembrance will bring it all back to you, I am sure.

At that point, everyone who ever took a swing at them and got away with it, pointed and snickered or simply stood aside and did not help becomes a target, their lives having even less value to the teen who made this decision. And that goes double and triple for the "adults" who the teen ultimately blames for his anguish.

"Keep the guns away." Right. They have done it with knives, tools, you name it. If someone wants to die/kill bad enough, there is no real stopping them other than before it gets to that point. The warning signs are very obvious and all too often ignored.

"Counsel them." Right. And add one more social stigma to the load already upon them? Give all the other teens one more reason to point and snicker? Not a good idea, unless absolute confidentiality can be assured, beyond all doubt.

"Ban trenchcoats." Idiotic. Manner of dress had nothing to do with it. The factors listed above did. There is no quick fix to this.

Yes, the blame for the actions lies squarely on those who performed them, but where does one lay the blame for the teens feeling the feelings that caused them to no longer value their lives?

The blame for that is as close as the nearest mirror. We make our own monsters and are too blind to see how and why. Until we face the facts, that we are destroying our own youth, these incidents will continue to occur. They will be worse, and any "quick fix" garbage that includes further mental and emotional pressures upon them will only facilitate the cycle of violence and abuse, no less damaging for being non-physical in nature.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, March 31, 2010 12:50 PM

FREMDFIRMA

The price of ignorance

by XXXXXXXX

Do you have any idea what it's like to live in fear?

Some of you might, some of you might not. Let's lay out an example so one knows exactly the kind of bitter and crushing fear that I am speaking of.

A soldier in wartime lives in an atmosphere reeking of it. His every waking moment is burdened by the thought that his end might be just around the corner, that every moment might just be his last, without warning. You tell me, after an extended period of this, whether that man would be 'sane' as we define the term?

And yet we wonder as a society why our children are self-destructing, often going bang in a supernova of destructive violence that takes fellows, classmates and bystanders with them, often in seemingly senseless or random fashion.

Stop right there.

Random? Hardly.

Every single one of the shooters so far has had a full list of "targets" in order of priority. They simply list everyone, with rare exceptions, and take what they can get. This isn't something that just happens out of the blue, no matter how we would like to pretend otherwise.

Every single shooting so far that I have seen has been the culmination of months, sometimes years, of abuse. And yes, that is what it is, make no mistake. If a parent was anywhere near as verbally cruel to their children as most students are (and are allowed to be) to each other, they would risk losing their right to be a parent due to finally-enlightening child protection measures.

It's beginning to finally be realized among those responsible for determining such things that words are as much a weapon as an axe, and in many cases cut far deeper, right into the very soul of the target. And yet in our self-imposed blindess, the very self-same situation that would be considered abuse if directed within a family magically becomes "just words" when it's students doing it to each other. What madness is this?

And it's just going to get worse, folks. You know why? Because we accept it. Simple as that. We accept cliques, we accept even the most vicious of taunting and harrassment right up until the shots are fired, then we blame the shooter.

A kid can be constantly and consistently the subject of mental torment that even the most hardened among us would think brutal and cruel, and his only recourse is to bring it to the administration which summarily labels him/her a troublemaker or tattletale. And what of the aggressor? Why, usually naught more than a stern lecture, easily laughed off, which only serves to positively identify who ratted them out and sets them up to justify to themselves even worse acts of revenge for it.

After this, the kid generally turns to his parents. If they are not there or unable to be there, which is entirely possible in a society that requires two incomes more often than not to support a family, who do they turn to?

Friends? If they had any. But most of these kids have been isolated. Other kids will not share even a table at lunch with them in fear of guilt by association, and fear that they will also become a target of such harrassment for the sole and simple sake of even speaking to them. That message alone is salt on the wound, when friends abandon one because they are unpopular and the butt of such actions. It only serves to reinforce to the victim that there is no way out.

Teachers? Like teachers are immune to predjudice, which they are not? Even the good ones are hampered by trying to do their job with oversized classes, insufficient funding and/or materials, or are simply hampered by administrative policy or even fear of the parents of the tormenters.

We've already covered what happens when the administration or guidance counselor is contacted, just above. What really does it leave then? How can they get it across?

Littleton set an example in many minds, not because of the press coverage, although the media must share some blame, but in that dead tormentors bother no more. No matter what comes of it, once the gesture is made, that particular torment will not be suffered any more.

A bit psychotic and shortsighted, you think? Well, if you don't like it, help change it.

The CITIVAS initiative has pointed out with some very fine research that a frightened mind cannot learn. It simply learns to react, and there is a great difference between the two.

In order for a mind to be receptive to learning, it must be in an evironment it considers "safe."

Take the soldier analogy at the beginning of this article. While it might actually apply as is to some schools, tone it down a bit and consider this:

Someone on the receiving end of such torments from other children eventually becomes hypervigilent against them, almost and sometimes to the point of paranoia. Kids do not have the wider range of experience most adults have. Given this, it becomes all too easy and believeable to them that their tormentors and the school are somehow in on it together, or at the very least the school turns a blind eye to it, which is sadly too often true.

It's really hard to further your education when you are constantly watching everyone and everything, preparing to defend yourself against that next push in the hall, that next harsh comment or vandalized locker.

And now we have further fostered this palatable aura of fear, suspicion and paranoia with this little turn-in-your-friends game, which as history has shown us is more often used for personal advantage or as a weapon against those who are not liked than in good cause. What better way for an agressor to attack his victim than to have the establishment do it for him? That policy is not going to solve a damn thing. If the kids under the hammer had anyone they could really trust to address their problems, it would have never come to be in the first place.

It's not about guns, either, just more likely to make the news. Statistics have shown attacks with just about everything imaginable as a weapon. It's just a matter of what the kid can get thier hands on. Hell, there are hammers in shop class, aren't there? No sense debating that point, because if it has gotten to the point where the kid is looking for a weapon, it's gone further than we should have let it get.

Let's also take a moment to consider the aftermath of events as well.

Take this incident in California. It was apparently widely known that the kid was constantly and brutally tormented, yet nobody did anything about it. The blame for that falls mostly on the school administration, who absolutely had to know it was going on. As is typical and a major root of these incidents, they did not act. For that, they share the blame.

Even worse, the three students who dared admit these facts to the media have been "excluded from returning to school for their own safety," according to Reuters. The other students are apparently very angry with them for not keeping the abuse under the rug. They and their families, as well as anyone who dared associate with the shooter, are "already being victimized and harassed by fellow students and families" (Reuters.)

The cycle begins anew and nobody seems to learn a damned thing. It's all well and good to say "don't be afraid to speak out," but this presents a perfect example of what happens to those who take that as true, which it is not. We need to make it true. And that brings us to what you, personally, can do about it.

For you students, refuse to be run off. Take that stand, sit with the outcasts at lunch, talk to them. If you are initially rebuffed, don't take it personally. Consider the pressures they are under. To them it could just be a setup for yet another humiliating torment. Only time and patience will amend that. Once you get to know these folks, it might become clear to you that they are just people, perhaps even pretty decent folks underneath all the defensive gestures they feel the need for.

It's much harder to harrass a group, for there is strength and solidarity in numbers. Next time you see one of your outcasts being hammered, go stand next to them and refuse to let them take the heat alone.

If you personally do not like them, consider well who you believe is worse, someone you don't like for whatever personal reason or hatemongers who get thier kicks by feeding thier egos in such a way. If enough of you do that, it will stop. A clique cannot hold a whole school down when that school stands up to them.

You don't have to let it happen. Always remember that.

For parents it is both simple and not so simple. Be there for your kid. Be approachable, or if need be approach them and discuss it. Mmost kids would like to be able to breach such matters with their parents but do not have any idea even how to go about it. So they say nothing. Bring it up, take a day off and go with your kid to the school, sit in class with them. Most schools will reluctantly allow this. Watch with your own eyes. While tormentors are adept at acting like model children in the presence of witnesses, rarely are they good enough to fool an adult specifically watching for them.

Talk to the teachers, and not just about grades and education. Really talk with them, see what's going on. Talk to the administrator and don't let them brush you off or downplay it. This is your child's education after all and you have a right to be involved with it if you wish.

If your kid is having problems with some other kids on a constant, ongoing basis, try contacting the parents of those children and speaking with them. This usually works a bit less well than expected, but it is an avenue that must be explored if possible. Not all of parenting is easy, but you knew that when you became a parent, did you not?

If you do not have the time, make the time, somehow, some way. It is a parent's responsibility. How can you expect your child to meet thier own responsibilities in life if you do not meet yours as a parent? Above all, remember that your kid needs you, even if things do get occasionally rocky between you.

As for this Califoria school, I don't think it would have been possible to set a worse example even deliberately. I think some parents should be seriously addressing that with them, and in short order.

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, March 31, 2010 12:51 PM

FREMDFIRMA

A Deadly Quick-Fix

by XXXXXXXX

(Authors Note - Please keep in mind that most of this research this article is based upon is the work of others, most of them better equipped, trained and financed to do so than the author, and while such information is cross checked to the best of the authors ability, that should never replace one's own methods of verifying information.)

Let me give you an example to chew on - if your child had a cough, would you simply give him cough medicine ? - without seeing a doctor ?

What if that cough never got any better ? - would you, then keep your child on cough medicine all his life, without so much as trying to find out what the underlying problem is....without the advice of a physician ?

I sincerely hope the response to that is "No !, that's crazy !".

Or is it ?

That is, in fact - the exact pattern of the use of Psychotropic drugs on children in our school system, Ritalin being most common among them.

A 1998 Article by the Detroit News called the rapidly increasing use of Ritalin in our school system "Alarming" - and to those who do even a little investigation into the matter, it is even more so.

There is no doubt that ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and related disorders exist, nor is there any doubt that some children can benefit from the use of proper medication to combat such disorders, that is well established fact in the medical community.

But the sheer scope of increase in it's use relative to the public school system is, quite frankly, preposterous, according to many physicians.

In order to understand why this is, one has to understand at least a little about how a persons brain functions...and how it responds to it's environment.

Doctor Bruce D. Perry, of the ChildTrauma Academy has done phenomenal research into this area, and has done wonders into breaking it down into terms that parents, caregivers and educators can understand, and much of it points to a fact that turns the whole situation on it's head.

A Frightened Mind Can Not Learn

When a child does not feel "safe", if the child's environment is not secure and stable (to the child's perception, not yours.) - the brain will react according to it's natural priorities, and foremost among them is self preservation.

In a fear/anxiety situation, the brains response is simple, calling back on the same instincts that kept the caveman alive, heart rate and respiration increases, the glands dump a chemical flood into the system, and the mind-body reflexes prepare to react in age old manner, this is called the Fight/Flight/Freeze reflex.

During this process, the abstract and cognitive portions of the brain either lie dormant, or get drowned out by the amount of other activity going on up there.

The best case example would be this, you are driving, on the highway, while discussing politics with a friend in the passenger seat....your car hits a small patch of ice, sending it into a spin, and you desperately try to recover from it without wrecking the car.

Are you, at that point, *capable* , of maintaining the conversation about politics ? is your friend ?

No, because that portion of your brain is "kicked on the back burner" in a manner of speaking, while the immediate priority of self-preservation is addressed.

There are various degrees of this state, of course, with the above example being one of the more extreme, however, a person who is even at a low level of fear/anxiety has difficulty concentrating, using abstract thought, and many of the processes needed for "Learning".

How does this relate, you ask ?

Simple - if a child in a classroom is at a Fear/Anxiety state, learning will be much more difficult for them....they will fidget, be distracted easily, inattentive - every single symptom we attribute to ADD and related disorders.

Why would a child be in such a state while attending a public school ?

My question would be, why wouldn't they ?

Not so very long ago, children with difficulties at home used to enjoy school, because it was to them a safe and secure environment, with nice, predictable schedule and little, if any, threats or surprises.

Look at the school system now - less recess, longer classes, more classes, more pressure, more students, less teachers, higher requirements, more homework, less funding, more violence, more coverage of that violence, in ways both good and bad, too much coverage of that violence no matter how you look at it, and a significantly higher level of stress than any child should ever have to face.

The first report on these problems that I know of was a 1978 study by the National Institute of Education, and was a much unheeded call that things were going wrong that needed attention - as far as known and obvious by public policy, this report was largely ignored.

In July 1999, the FBI's NCAVC held a symposium on school shootings and threat assessment. The symposium included 160 educators, school administrators, mental health professionals, teachers and administrators from each of the schools included in the study, NCAVC staff members, law enforcement officers and the prosecutors involved in investigating each of the shootings. Also in attendance were experts in disciplines including adolescent violence, mental health, suicide, school and family dynamics.

They also released their findings and recommended threat management and intervention process via public release on Sept 6th 2000...a significantly more logical and effective one than the current process used by most schools at this time.

Again, the warnings that something was seriously wrong went unheeded.

Violence begets fear, which begets yet more violence, and we've let this cycle continue largely unchecked for over twenty years, till it's reached a critical mass that can no longer be ignored or unheeded - and that has been addressed in previous articles.

However - it is that very atmosphere of fear, in our public schools, that creates a "hostile environment", which our children react to, and more specifically, their minds react to by kicking into that above-mentioned Fear/Anxiety state.

And what do we do about it ?

Instead of treating the underlying problem of the hostile environment our schools have become, we simply take the symptoms and make excuses for them...maybe it's ADD, maybe it's a Learning Disability...let's just medicate it till it goes away - the quick fix.

Our society doesn't help in this situation very much, being far more dependant on instant gratification and reaction "band-aids" instead of actual problem solving, and as for the medical community ? shocking.

Most health plans push hard for medication instead of treatment simply because medication is cheaper, both financially and in doctors time and effort - the average pediatrician sees a child for an average of only 7-1/2 minutes, and proper diagnoses of behavioral disorder takes, on average, at least 90 Minutes.

Treating one is very time consuming and expensive, often $150 or more for a single session.

Of course, many times it is the school itself, without any medical training, trying to perform a "diagnoses" and demand treatment - two cases of such an event will be included at the end of this article.

As if that were not enough....why not follow the dollar, why not ask "who's benefitting from all this?" - It's a good question.

The company that makes the most common of these drugs, Ritalin is currently under litigation due to accusations that they - "planned, conspired, and colluded to create, develop and promote the diagnosis of Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) in a highly successful effort to increase the market for its product Ritalin."

And no overworked teacher is going to complain about 40 kids who just sit there and stare like little zombies, nor is any school administrator going to complain about the lack of disciplinary problems due to medicating them out of existence, now, are they ?

What is really frightening is that many of these kids are on medication that is "off-label", a medical term for the use of medication that has not been properly tested and/or approved for use on children, and many are on more than one....for example, many kids on Ritalin who have developed problems sleeping are now given Clonidine as well - where does it stop ? what affects are these untested pharmacological regimens going to have in the long run....do we really need to medicate, and then medicate symptoms caused by the original medication ?

It seems the only one's getting the short end of this stick are the kids, and involved parents.

What we seem to be doing here, is medicating our children's natural responses to an environment we have by inaction allowed to become hostile, instead of working to make that environment safe, secure and comfortable to them.

After a long period of time with such chemical support, more often than not discontinued at the end of the school year, many of these kids turn to other methods of "chemical support" most definitely not approved by the FDA, especially older ones.....psychological/chemical dependance kicks in, and they reach for another, even more dangerous chemical "Crutch" to help them through the day.

Oh, didn't you know ? Ritalin and Thorazine are two *highly* addictive substances, so when that first pill gets dropped, even with all the other issues, the child now has to eventually kick that monkey off his back, too - on top of everything else.

"What's the matter with kids these days ?" - we've made them into little zombie-junkies, that's what's the matter with them...and you really, honestly think they will not hate us for it ?

Get a clue, fix the problem, not the symptoms - go with your kid to school tomorrow and discuss this with the administrator, and if they don't listen, do what you have to - it's your kid, not theirs, after all.

Me...I recommend home schooling or tutoring, I would not suffer any child I know through public schools at this time...and they have a long way to go before I would.

The choice is yours.

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, March 31, 2010 12:52 PM

FREMDFIRMA

Love is a Weapon

There's a war going on all the time, one that no one ever seems to see, one that no one seems to notice, or even realize their own participation in.

There are those who wish to do right by their fellow man, to help others, and practice peace, tolerance, and caring, living an ethical life by their own principles and no inflicting harm on any.

Then there are those who wish to exploit and destroy their fellow man for personal gain or amusement.

And worse, there are a great many of people who may claim to be the former, but are actually the latter.

No, don't bother telling me which one you are, or think you are, or pretend to be - I don't much care.

For every one of them that harms someone, there may be one of us, healing the hurt.

For every kid in gym class being mentally battered by the coach, there might be one of us teaching him geometry.

For every kid beat down by bullies, there might be one of us about to step in.

For every child abandoned by their own family, there might be one of us stepping into that role and teaching them better things.

You see, it's easy to build something physical - and just as easy to smash it down.

Friendship, knowledge, ethics, morality and most of all, Hope.
Hope that not everyone is out for only themselves at anyone else's expense - these are our 'weapons'.

You can take a mans wallet, but it's a lot harder to take his ethics from him, and you cannot take his knowledge.

And while the society we as a species have created fully caters to and supports those who live only for themselves, and act in a manner almost sociopathic...that society isn't going to last.

The foundation of any human (and therefore transient) society is in it's future generations, it's children...and while those who exploit, ignore, demean or harm them...may well convert them into the same, the tide is turning on them.

Many more children these days are learning that it is not necessarily a dog-eat-dog world, nor does it have to be, and are learning that they are the power that can change it.

And in turn, they will give this knowledge to their friends, and unto their children, and eventually, the exploitative, self-serving, socipathic nature of our society will change.

You can hurt someone in only a second, but it takes time to help them.

Our society is based on instant gratification and as a species we lack patience in our nature, therefore it is only the civilized amongst us that dare to overcome that nature and aspire to better themselves above the savage who would simply take what he wants, without care to the consequences.

Anything built with care and patience will outlast that which is not, and much that our kind builds is such work - one foul act cannot overcome years of friendship, one harsh word cannot overcome years of kind ones, it is our armor against your world, and it works very well.

We continue to grow, and grow unified, while they continue to cut each others throats for the sake of a lifestyle that leaves no legacy behind but a feeling of relief when they finally pass to whatever fate awaits them.

And some day, some day soon - there will be more of us, than them.

Some day there won't be any of them left.

Is that not something worth striving for ?

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, March 31, 2010 12:56 PM

CHRISISALL

Next town over from me.

The laughing Chrisisall

"I only do it to to remind you that I'm right and that deep down, you know I'm right, you want me to be right, you need me to be right." - The Imperial Hero Strikes Back, 2010

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, March 31, 2010 12:57 PM

FREMDFIRMA

====================
And there, four for four.

You see, I know this issue, all the way through, but while you can tell people all you like, you cannot make them LISTEN.

That is where reason fails, that is where the White Rose Society failed, because to make these arguments effectively, you need people willing to even listen to them, and you cannot make people listen.

And so, you make people who ARE capable of listening, by stepping in and preventing them from being screwed up so much between the ears they can't, by helping those who are helpless, by saving the tiny seed of saner future generations.

And lemme add just one small counterpoint which despite the hints of, no one has really quite figured out - I did say that "eventually" some of these kids, saved from those hells, they'd be in positions of power and authority, some of em, yes ?

Consider well I been doin this for thirty years, and some of the original rescuees were around my age if not older, and ponder the implications of that statement in that context.

-Frem

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, March 31, 2010 1:13 PM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)

Quote:
Originally posted by SignyM:
Oh, how frustrating! Teachers, denying their moral culpability!

Yeah, who the hell do they think they are, REPUBLICANS?!

"I supported Bush in 2000 and 2004 and intellegence [sic] had very little to do with that decision." - Hero, Real World Event Discussions

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, March 31, 2010 4:42 PM

KANEMAN

This story is crap....I live down the road. She was a whore and banged the football player. The other girls called her such. She didn't kill herself because of it ..she was disturbed before. The national media created this crap and the police responded. Her parents should be ashamed of themselves......

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, March 31, 2010 4:51 PM

CHRISISALL

Quote:
Originally posted by kaneman:
I live down the road.

REALLY?
Wanna meet sometime?
I'm heah, kill me!!!

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, March 31, 2010 4:57 PM

CHRISISALL

I kicked the crap out of bullies (some of them), and called them on their shit back in the day.
Not everyone found the wisdom of Bruce Lee. Unfortunately.
Nor today.
Sadly.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Thursday, April 1, 2010 8:52 AM

BYTEMITE

Well, gee, if she's non-lucid, mentally disturbed, suicidal, and underage, it's completely appropriate for an eighteen year old to have sex with her. Also, we don't know about her other relationships, but her having sex just once totally makes her a whore, and everything those other girls said about her was right, and they were entirely justified in the tactics used for their ostracization and discouragement campaign.

So the police should drop all charges immediately, because obviously her treatment was all her fault, and her committing suicide was entirely unrelated because she was just a crazy bitch.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Thursday, April 1, 2010 9:06 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

Yeah, Byte, after all, it's only weaklings and those who deserve it who get bullied...what's that thing about "If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen"?

Oh, wait, I guess she did...

Ouch.

"I'm just right. Kinda like the sun rising in the east and the world being round...its not a need its just the way it is." The Delusional "Hero", 3/1/10

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, April 2, 2010 6:06 AM

JEWELSTAITEFAN

Quote:
Originally posted by Niki2:
Yeah, Byte, after all, it's only weaklings and those who deserve it who get bullied...what's that thing about "If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen"?

Oh, wait, I guess she did...

Ouch.

"I'm just right. Kinda like the sun rising in the east and the world being round...its not a need its just the way it is." Hero, 3/1/10

Ok, I'm fair certain that Bytemite was highly sarcastic. However, I can't decipher whether you understood that.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

YOUR OPTIONS

SHARE THREAD

NEW POSTS TODAY

USER	POST DATE

USER

POST DATE