King Tut was a slut by piratenews

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King Tut was a slut

POSTED BY: PIRATENEWS
UPDATED: Thursday, August 4, 2011 19:06
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Tuesday, August 2, 2011 8:56 PM

John Lee, conspiracy therapist at Hollywood award-winner History Channel-mocked SNL-spoofed PirateNew.org wooHOO!!!!!!

Half of European men share King Tut's DNA
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/half-european-men-share-king-tuts-dna-1758375
49.html

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Tuesday, August 2, 2011 10:08 PM

OLDENGLANDDRY

And a higher percentage have Jewish DNA, including you.

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Wednesday, August 3, 2011 12:06 AM

FREMDFIRMA

Ha, Tutankhamun was a piker in comparison to Ramesess II, besides, there were popes which got more ass than King Tut, so who are we kidding ?

Dude, when a thousand years later, folks are naming CONDOMS after your ass, then you can say you were a playa.

I still think we oughta make the Trojan Man a national hero, honestly.

-Frem

I do not serve the Blind God.

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Wednesday, August 3, 2011 1:10 AM

DREAMTROVE

Genghis Khan had quite the horde, and Caesar Augustus had many conquests. I'm dubious of the Tut story because 50% is too high a number, and because he died at 18, which was Egypt's age of majority, and was known to have quite a dommineering guardian.

I don't really buy jewish DNA, and I'm jewish. I think there's some semitic DNA but PN is right that most jews are likely mongol khazars, an idea which is actually more popular in Israel than that they are essentially just half germanic arabs.

But there's not really any such thing as pure racial DNA, it's just statistically pretty much impossible. You have 33,000 genes, in a random shuffle, which means you carry genes from the last 15 generations of your family tree. Ergo, it's just hard to credit that anyone straight mayflower child never had an ancestor who at some point went out and caught themselves some feathered squaw tail.

Also, fifteen generations is just 300 years or so, so any dna you have from longer ago means that person shows up more than once in your family tree in order for the genes to be there, which means your ancestors were getting it on with each other, which they undoubtedly were. Chances are the typical family tree would probably show some forebearer knocking up his sister, and then the kid going off and boinking a slave, etc. Jefferson and Washington caught a lot of slave tail, Franklin was quite the skirt chaser. I figure he was probably cutting in on Lafayette's territory...

Maybe people *should* elect leaders on the basis of hotness if they're going to get around this much. Hmm. Reconsidering Sarah Palin.

That's what a ship is, you know - it's not just a keel and a hull and a deck and sails, that's what a ship needs.

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Wednesday, August 3, 2011 7:06 AM

MAGONSDAUGHTER

The article only says related not a direct descendant of

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Wednesday, August 3, 2011 8:26 AM

BYTEMITE

Cardinals in the Roman Catholic church often had houses built where all their mistresses could live together.

Quote:
Genghis Khan had quite the horde, and Caesar Augustus had many conquests.

Ha!

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Thursday, August 4, 2011 12:59 PM

RIONAEIRE

Beir bua agus beannacht

Yeah, Dt, I saw a similar article about the Great Khan recently, having been doing lots of research on him and thoroughly enjoying myself at it I might add, the Genghis article said 10 to 15 percent of people in central Asia were related to him. I don't know how one would determine this since I don't think we have any of his DNA saved to compare modern DNA to, but I'll buy the idea, makes enough sense, he was quite ... prolific as were most men of power back in the day.
PN's title made me laugh.

Byte, I totally wouldn't be surprised if what you said about the men in power in the papacy was true, absolute power corrupts absolutely.

And yes, Franklin loved the ladies indeed.
"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

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Thursday, August 4, 2011 2:33 PM

DREAMTROVE

Riona

We actually don't need his DNA, since he had sons lived all over the world, were quite famous, and I think there were like seven of them. His grandsons and great grandsons were also known, and the territories they rules from, you have a dispersion pattern, you could almost reconstruct his genome and clone him from that.

That's what a ship is, you know - it's not just a keel and a hull and a deck and sails, that's what a ship needs.

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Thursday, August 4, 2011 3:41 PM

BYTEMITE

Catholic Archbishops in Bavaria did as well.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolf_Dietrich_Raitenau

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Thursday, August 4, 2011 4:56 PM

FREMDFIRMA

Oh but it gets even better.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banquet_of_Chestnuts

Seriously, there were PLENTY of Pimp-Daddy Popes, and let's not even talk about the nut-check-chair...

-F

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Thursday, August 4, 2011 6:32 PM

BYTEMITE

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucrezia_Borgia

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Thursday, August 4, 2011 7:06 PM

RIONAEIRE

Beir bua agus beannacht

Can we clone his blood brother Jamuqa too? :))

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

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