How to melt Obama/Biden bumper stickers by piratenews

REAL WORLD EVENT DISCUSSIONS

How to melt Obama/Biden bumper stickers

POSTED BY: PIRATENEWS
UPDATED: Friday, October 21, 2011 15:53
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 511
PAGE 1 of 1

Friday, October 21, 2011 3:53 PM

John Lee, conspiracy therapist at Hollywood award-winner History Channel-mocked SNL-spoofed PirateNew.org wooHOO!!!!!!

You can't have it.
Your wife won't let you.
Your girlfriend says it's unsafe. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Knock ...knock.....
"who is it?"
"We're men.... and we're here to take back your mancard."

This bike is not just a bike.... it's a muse.... it's a teleportation device.... hell, it's even like a bad assed medical tool. I once rode it by some guy who was constipated, just hearing me downshift from third to second emptied his bowels. I shit you not.
Hear that noise? That's not a dry clutch...that's a chick whistle. I'm tell'n ya...those Italians got that chick shit down. I left the exhaust stock because my buddy Phil upgraded the exhaust on his and I saw an elderly couple bust into flames when he bliped the throttle. (I have a conscience....that and I hate the smell of burnt flesh, so I left the cans alone.) It's got some carbon fiber stuff on it too, because carbon fiber is bad ass. Chuck Norris' beard is carbon fiber. Johnny Cash's suit was carbon fiber. Neil Armstrongs left arm is carbon fiber...... and we all know how bad assed that shit is. (Lance Armstongs ball is not carbon fiber..... but his bike was)

So.... you're asking yourself..."whats it like... riding a bike/muse/teleportation/badassed medical device like this? It's f'n AWESOME! Obama/Biden stickers melt off cars.... gravity dissapears around hot chicks undies....puppies weep..... people pay to be your facebook friend..... the Maricopa police dept. pulls you over just to get your autograph and thanks you having graced their tiny town with coolness the likes they've never seen.

If you're thinking about buy'n a Harley and have bought into that whole "chicks dig cruisers" thing....ask yourself .... when was the last time you saw Dan Haggerty get'n laid... hell... when was the last time you saw Dan period? The dude lived with a bear. Bears are cool and all..... but I'd rather be bang'n Keira Knightley than some bear. (google Keira Knightley Ducati.... you'll see what I mean)

What do you need to purchase the afore mentioned coolness?
Balls...
A valid state class M license....
Money.... 10k obo
And.... a willingness to step outside the "me too bike" box.
(you might also want to bring towels..... as the ladies tend to moisten up around the bike)

call me at 661-331-3710

http://fresno.craigslist.org/mcd/2610447951.html

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

YOUR OPTIONS

SHARE THREAD

NEW POSTS TODAY

USER	POST DATE

USER

POST DATE