...did anyone watch? I didn't, kinda felt like I don't have to, given it's not an issue for me. Probably could have learned some if I did. But I found..."/>

REAL WORLD EVENT DISCUSSIONS

Gary and Tony Have A Baby...

POSTED BY: NIKI2
UPDATED: Sunday, June 27, 2010 18:47
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Friday, June 25, 2010 6:02 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...


...did anyone watch? I didn't, kinda felt like I don't have to, given it's not an issue for me. Probably could have learned some if I did. But I found these on the issue, which I thought were interesting:
Quote:

Two moms or two dads, no worries

When two women or two men decide to have children together, there's a few thorny issues to work out. From who gives birth to obtaining and divvying up the sperm, the rules change -- just a little. And then there's the mommy and daddy part.

Jay, an iReporter from Boston, Massachusetts, says she and her female partner have lots of details to account for as they plan their family, but that overall, it's just another family.

With same-sex marriage being debated in several states, further discussion is taking place about raising children in these partnerships. We asked iReporters what it's like to have a child in a same-sex relationship or to have gay parents. We got tons of thoughtful responses.

How about on the subject of outted gay couples in school?
Quote:

Gay teens at center of controversies find support in each other

For gay teens Constance McMillen and Ceara Sturgis, high school has ended, but acceptance of their sexuality in each of their Mississippi towns is just beginning, they say.

McMillen made headlines in the spring when she asked to attend her prom wearing a tuxedo and escorting a girl. Her school district in Itawamba County canceled the prom entirely. (On Tuesday, McMillen is in the spotlight again as she travels to the White House to meet President Obama at a ceremony recognizing the contributions of LGBT Americans.)

The superintendent of the Itawamba County school district told CNN that she couldn't comment on the case while the case is pending.

Around 250 miles away in Wesson, Sturgis wore a tuxedo, instead of the traditional drape or dress, for her senior portrait. She believes that she was penalized by being omitted from the senior section in her yearbook.

Neither the principal nor the school's superintendent would talk with CNN. After repeated calls, the district office administrator told CNN, "We're done." In October, the principal told a Jackson TV station he wasn't able to comment "on that particular situation."

"Everything happens for a reason," Sturgis said in an interview with CNN's Soledad O'Brien. "This is the start of something new. I think that this can be the change for gay youth. One day it's going to be different. And somebody has to start it, and why not us?"

The two women have become a support system for each other, connected, in part, by the Mississippi Safe School Coalition. The group is made up of mostly college and high school students who are working to make schools in Mississippi safer for, and more accepting of, gay youth.

Then there's the question of acceptance:
Quote:

Race, ethnicity can be challenge to gay acceptance

It's been a long time since Niki Solis was a teen living on a different coast than her parents, uncertain how to tell her Latino, Catholic family that she's a lesbian. In the decades since they found out -- they were surprised only that she waited so long to tell them, Solis said -- that kind of uncertainty faded amid her legal career, marriage in San Francisco and motherhood.

"I have to say, in my life, it's hard for me to remember homophobia," said Solis, 42. "When you're open and honest about it, people are more accepting. If I don't have a problem with it, why should they?"

For the first time since Gallup began its annual Values and Beliefs survey a decade ago, more than half of respondents said gay and lesbian relations were "morally acceptable." The number has risen most years since 2001, and peaked this year at 52 percent. The percentage that said gay and lesbian relations are "morally wrong" dropped to a new low of 43 percent. Support for same-sex marriage increased, too, although more than half still said they oppose it.

"I would not say it was a surprise," Gallup Editor-in-Chief Frank Newport said. "Obviously, there have been changes in the environment. Gay and lesbian relations are more public and more discussed."

But it's not more public among all demographics. The latest data doesn't count what LGBT advocates say is one of the greatest challenges for acceptance: race and ethnicity. Acceptance increases when people know gay or lesbian individuals, and for decades, white gays and lesbians were more open to the mainstream. People of color weren't.

All that said, the concept of family can mean one thing to you and another to someone else. In CNN's documentary "Gary and Tony Have a Baby," Soledad O'Brien follows a same-sex couple in their struggle against the legal and personal obstacles to become parents.

How do you feel about gay couples having a family? Should they be allowed to adopt and be foster parents? What if you had a gay member of your family and they decided to have a baby through adoption, surrogacy or sperm donor? How would you react to it?


Hippie Operative Nikovich Nikita Nicovna Talibani,
signing off



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Friday, June 25, 2010 12:29 PM

FREMDFIRMA



I don't think my reaction is any different than otherwise - race, gender, ethnicity, hell, even blood relation don't matter, what matters is that you care, that you try, and have some idea of what you're doing, or at least the will to make your best effort to BE a decent parent... but then, I don't have the gender-role hangups most folk do.

-F

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Friday, June 25, 2010 5:17 PM

DREAMTROVE


I'm of mixed feelings on this one. Sometimes I think in their social experimenting parents can visit a little too much baggage onto the kids.

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Friday, June 25, 2010 10:05 PM

LITTLEBIRD


I have no trouble accepting a gay couples right to have children by whatever means they can. If the child is loved and cared for then it should not matter.








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Sunday, June 27, 2010 3:59 AM

KANEMAN


Quote:

Originally posted by Littlebird:
I have no trouble accepting a gay couples right to have children by whatever means they can. If the child is loved and cared for then it should not matter.











A very bright lady once said.."My husband is a wonderful father, however he is a terrible mother"
You Homo lovers are hilarious....

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Sunday, June 27, 2010 4:19 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...


What you quoted and your resoponse to it say everything about you, nothing more.


Hippie Operative Nikovich Nikita Nicovna Talibani,
signing off


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Sunday, June 27, 2010 8:45 AM

LITTLEBIRD


Ok then, maybe I will go into more detail about this subject. It sometimes feels as if I am stepping into a mine field when I post on RWED though and I usually don't feel I have the chops to debate issues in any depth, but this is something I can talk about a bit from a personal perspective point of view.

My daughter's partner already had a small child from her previous relationship before she realized her orientation so they didn't have to go the sperm donor or adoption route. Their daughter has CP and it's been my daughter who has spent the hours in the hospital and doing therapy and taking her to all her appointments and helping her raise her. Her 'father' is very rarely around, to the point where in private they did begin to refer to him as the sperm donor.

Also, my grandson who just turned 15 recently came out. He was raised by hetro parents by the way. I will support him when and if he decides to have children as will his entire family. If that makes us hilarious then so be it.

I do think some parts of the country are easier to live in than others for people with different orientations. My daughter and her partner moved away from Salt Lake City several years ago to live in Portland, OR, because the city is very tolerant of alternate lifestyles.

As an interesting side note, when my youngest son was little I did get him a 'Big Brother' because as a divorced parent I felt he might need a male influence because, yes, his bio father was not around. My son and his BB never really bonded and when he turned 18 they never contacted each other again. It was his grandmother and I who took him to most of his baseball games and made sure he got to experience the things he wanted to do. I am not knocking the BB program at all, but I don't think it played a big role in my sons life at all. Maybe for others it did.

I think it comes down to loving and respecting a child for who they are no matter what. If you can't do that then you have no business being a parent in my book. But that's just me.


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Sunday, June 27, 2010 8:50 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...


Quote:

think it comes down to loving and respecting a child for who they are no matter what. If you can't do that then you have no business being a parent in my book.
It's definitely not just you. It SHOULD be the criteria behind parenting, not just having a child because "it's what's done" or any other reason.

Yes, there can be absentee parents in hetero or homosexual relationships, it's a fact of life. But to say one is any better than the other is ignoring the above quote, in my view; two mothers, two fathers, one of each; what matters is that both parents do what's right by the child.

I'm sorry you feel like this is a minefield; it IS, you're right. But you'll always, I believe, find someone to stand with you on just about any issue, so speak your piece any time you want to, then if you don't feel up to it, let it go; someone else will carry on the torch, guaranteed!


Hippie Operative Nikovich Nikita Nicovna Talibani,
signing off


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Sunday, June 27, 2010 9:13 AM

LITTLEBIRD


I think the point I was trying to make is that gender does not matter when raising a child.

I can think of some on this list who seem like very excellent role models for their children. Chris and sonisall come to mind right off. Not knocking the male persuasion at all. Hey, I got re-married to one of those male type people :-)

ETA: Actually, after doing a re-read, I think my bias towards absentee parents who just happened to be male was showing. Thanks for the clarification and carrying torches and all.

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Sunday, June 27, 2010 6:47 PM

FREMDFIRMA


I simply fail to see where or why it'd matter - race, gender, preferences, even biological relation, all that has jack damn all to do with being a decent parent or not, honestly.

"Children know the truth, love is not an emotion, love is behavior."
http://www.vachss.com/mission/behavior.html

-Frem

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