Stories of the Firefly Gang, combining westerns and sci-fi. Join the club. by BlackoutNights

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Stories of the Firefly Gang, combining westerns and sci-fi. Join the club.

POSTED BY: BLACKOUTNIGHTS
UPDATED: Friday, December 10, 2004 06:42
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VIEWED: 2987
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Wednesday, December 8, 2004 7:23 AM

Howdy pardner, this is yer good buddy Blackout Nights enjoying a rollicking good ride until the premiere of what's become known as the Big Damn Movie. *spit* *TING!*

Out here in the frontier of outer space, we're twiddlin' out thumbs and watin' for the release of some feller named Joss Whedon's new story 'bout cap'n Mal and his bunch of ragtag misfits.

It's gonna be interestin' to see how Whedon directs this masterpiece. I'm gonna be looking for some tributes to other great western directors, namely Sergio Leones and Sam Peckinpah. *spit* *TING!*

Thing is...Whedon's never directed a feature film. So are we in for it?

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Wednesday, December 8, 2004 10:50 AM

MALICIOUS

Howdy, Blackoutnights, sure is a fine evenin'.

I don't rightly know if Mr. Whedon needs to have di-rected afore now. Everbodys gotta start sometime, ya know? Even the bestest di-rector out there had to have a first movie. I'm jes gonna sit m'self back and enjoy our lil ol BDM cuz I think Joss is gonna do A-ok.

EDIT: OH!! I forgot! *spit* TING!

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

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Wednesday, December 8, 2004 11:27 AM

BLACKOUTNIGHTS

I reckon yer right, Malicious. I was just-a sayin' some kinda tribute to those directers that've gone b'fore would be nice. *spit* *TING!*

Like them there wide-angle shots Leone put in the Good, Bad, an Ugly. Shoot-far, Leone didn't even have that there much dialog. It was all in th' eyes.

Not that Mr. Whedon don't know whut he's doin', mind ya. Just a lil' tribute is all I'm-a sayin'

It'd also be nice if'n he gave everybody in the Firefly Gang a bottle of whiskey.

*spit* *TING!*

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Wednesday, December 8, 2004 1:38 PM

VETERAN

Don't squat with your spurs on.

Exuse me while I light this here ceegar. (scratches match against facial stubble and puffs on cigar until it lights.)

As far as I'm concerned, he's already kinda done the tribute. (blows a cloud of smoke)Well at least as far as Mal's character reminds some of us Browncoats of Josey Wales and Ethan Edwards.

If I was a bettin' man... (more smoke)... which I ain't. I lay down a more 'en a few greenbacks that he works in some sublte references to his favorites.

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Wednesday, December 8, 2004 2:27 PM

MALICIOUS

(coughcoughcoughs, blows smoke away)

I'm thinkin' Joss knows his stuff. He ain't no yella-bellied, sap-suckin', lily-livered....what t'was it I was sayin'? Oh, yup. Joss Whedon, he knows what he's doin'. Serenity's gonna be the best damn movie of the year. It's gonna git onea them stachoos of the nekkid gold guy, I reckon.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

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Wednesday, December 8, 2004 3:45 PM

ZOID

Howdy, pardners!

Y'know I been thinkin' on this here very subject, long and hardlike. An' I done come up with three really loooong and overly convoluted theories on how Joss is gonna handle this Big Damned Movie thang. Here's whut I think: *spit* *DRIBBLE down chin and shirt front*

Sh*t!

*Flustered, zoid accidently swallows his chaw of Red Man, turns green and runs behind sagebrush to puke violently for the next 30 minutes*

Emetically,

zoid

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Wednesday, December 8, 2004 5:02 PM

MANIACNUMBERONE

Joss has the great ability to utilize all of the conventions used in directing... from editing --- that uses cuts to place shots in conversation with one another, like in the Serenity episode where he goes from one crewmember calling out to another that the ship is ready for take-off... (from wash in the bridge to kaylee by the cargo bay doors,) so that we could get a sense of the layout of the ship. --- to using shots that last for a long time, keeping elements of his scene in focus, thereby letting us choose our points of emphasis.

-------------------------------------------
Inara: Who's winning?
Simon: I can't really tell, they don't seem to be playing by any civilized rules that I know.
-------------------------------------------

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Thursday, December 9, 2004 4:14 AM

NYWOE

Well, howdy there! Sounds like we got a right fancy city dandy in here somehows. But you've got your head on straight, little darlin. Joss shore is talented, and I reckin' he's already proved his stuff in that there TeeVee show. Why, when I think on "Out of Gas," of the shots used, and them transistions, like you say, why it's enough to bring a tear to this gal's eye.

*wipes tear*

*spit* *TING!*

By the by, you folks in here is right funny. Make me laugh til I swallow me tobaccy.

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Thursday, December 9, 2004 5:42 AM

CYBERSNARK

S'it bad that the only western I know to quote from is Blazing Saddles?

*looks around at blank expressions*

And for my next trick. . .

-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

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Thursday, December 9, 2004 5:47 AM

BLACKOUTNIGHTS

Whut th' heck r u talkin' 'bout, ManiacNumberOne? *watches Zoid run behind the bushes and continues speaking as hurl sounds are heard in the background* You's gettin' all teck-nee-cal on us.

I hain't quite shure 'bout Whedon gettin' a nekkid gold statue, Malicious. *spit* *TING!* But I'm-a thinkin' h'it sounds like'n a treasure the Firefly Gang needs in our storehouse.

*pops the cork out of a bottle of moonshine and takes a swig*

Ah! Now that hits th' spot. *passes it to NYWOE* *hic!* Now wher wuz I? Oh yeah, nekkid gold. If'n we plan our cards rat, we can raid them there nekkid gold awardz and steal one fer Whedon and the rest of them there folks liken Fillyon, Back-aaron, the Bald-one, that there woman with the Jewels, uhhhh *scratches head* hot...hot...Desert? Naw, I mean Summer 'n the rest of 'em.

Whut we need is a strat-o-gee to git back'n that thar stage 'n swipe a bunch 'o them nekkid gold guys.

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Thursday, December 9, 2004 10:10 AM

MANIACNUMBERONE

I spose y'all are raaht. I been talkin summat citified as of late. When I's discussin' Joss' way a du-rectin, it's powerful hard ta not thank abaht how he stays suh fer from the dang holleewood way a shootin'. I don' wanna movee that's a gonna make me fergit how thay shot it. Gorram!
Joss keeps me on muh toes, like steppin pass pigs in thur waller, he durects like church bails ona sundee mornin', lets yuh knaw thet he's a been thare.

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Thursday, December 9, 2004 10:11 AM

MALICIOUS

Hows about we create a di-version?

(Watches Zoid up-chuckin')

That there? Just zackly the kinda di-version we coulda used.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

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Thursday, December 9, 2004 10:47 AM

BADGERSHAT

Quote:
Originally posted by BlackoutNights:
... Thing is...Whedon's never directed a feature film. So are we in for it?

Well now, that ain't hardly true, is it? *spit* *BLAM!!!*

... pardon me, whiles I reach for the chaw, 'stead of this here C4 plastic explosive I musta grabbed on accident...

So, anyway, Whedon has, akchully, directed a BDM, name of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" waaaaayy back in the little baby part of the 90s... starred Luke Perry, too...

--Jefé The Hat

***************************
--Don't bother trying to predict, figure out, second guess, criticize, or suggest anything that comes from the mind of Joss Whedon, for you shall usually be wrong, and shall find out the Truth and Purpose in due time.
(This is the Truth of Whedoning)

"I like smackin 'em"--Jayne

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Thursday, December 9, 2004 11:27 AM

BLACKOUTNIGHTS

Actally, BageersAt, 'cordin to mah sources, the Buffy movie wuz deerected by somebody named Fran Rubel Kuzui, but written by Wheelin-Whedon.

That there's a great idear, Mal-licious. We's gots to have a di-ver-zion, but I h'aint 'xactly shure somebody a-hurlin chunks is a ga-raun-tee.

Naw, whut we need is one 'o them Lass Vegass chorus lines to do a jig 'n whilst everyuns a-lookin' at them, we sneak backstage 'n steal the loot.

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Thursday, December 9, 2004 1:36 PM

MALICIOUS

Whyn't chew go 'round up some of them thar harem gals we gots around these parts. See if Smokin' Jefe the Hat can spare summa his wimmin'.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

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Thursday, December 9, 2004 1:43 PM

BADGERSHAT

There's them that thinks that Joss did th' akchul direktin of that thar moovie...

Sorry, I can't talk like this anymore, it's hurting my brainstem.

Anyway, I see your point, he wrote it, but I doubt we have ANYTHING to worry about with the BDM.

I ain't sharin no harems!!!

--Jefé The Hat

***************************
--Don't bother trying to predict, figure out, second guess, criticize, or suggest anything that comes from the mind of Joss Whedon, for you shall usually be wrong, and shall find out the Truth and Purpose in due time.
(This is the Truth of Whedoning)

"I like smackin 'em"--Jayne

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Thursday, December 9, 2004 2:14 PM

MALICIOUS

EVERONE! Please forgive Jefe, for he knows not what he's a-sayin' due to his bein' all grievin' and crap still! 'ahm certin' he MEANT to talk proper, but he's just outta his mind n stuff. Pass im that thar likker bottle, willya?

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

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Thursday, December 9, 2004 3:28 PM

ZOID

Whew! I feel like I been rid hard an' put away wet! *zoid wipes chunky spittle from chin, placing finger alongside nostril and turning head, clears nose of what appears to be mixed vegetables*

What ah was 'bout to say was -- lemme have a swaller a' that... (*zoid mistakes moonshine container for bottle of water, swallows a long pull, and promptly passes out in shock from alcohol poisoning*)

Comatosely,

zoid

P.S.
See? And y'all thought I couldn't make massive cerebral damage funny! (I hear you thinking, "Not to mention desirable")

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Thursday, December 9, 2004 9:52 PM

NEEDLESEYE

Quote:
Originally posted by zoid:
What ah was 'bout to say was -- lemme have a swaller a' that... (*zoid mistakes moonshine container for bottle of water, swallows a long pull, and promptly passes out in shock from alcohol poisoning*)

Er Zoid, when yer 'round these parts, water don't come in mason jars.
Dag nabbit, that was mah last jar!
Now, when the Cappy shows up, tell him to park his flyin' machine over yonder in the hay meadow, NOT ma corn field. I need that corn for distillin'. Now git up. You ain't dead, ye just cain't hold yer 'shine.

Readin' all this masticatin' and expectoratin' is ailing my gut, you people be sure to keep that in the spittoon, like refined folk.

Keeper of Jayne's goggles. 8)
I am Nathan's biggest Flan

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Friday, December 10, 2004 6:02 AM

ZOID

Feller Browncoats:

A Yankee, walking down a path through the Ozarks -- never mind how he got there, we'll just assume he was a Clinton cabinet member -- is suddenly accosted by a wild mountain man, who jumps out of the bushes in front of him. The mountain man levels his squirrel gun at the Yankee and says, "Stop in yore tracks, Slicker! You a rev'nooer?" (Treasury agent)

The Yankee replies, "I am not with the enforcement arm of the Internal Revenue Service! Now," the well-dressed and educated gentleman from the U.S. Northeast told the toothless, shambling Arkansan, "out of my way! And do try to bathe occasionally." (Got to keep those stereotypes alive, y'all)

The mountain man does not yield the road, instead he keeps his rifle trained on the Yankee and places a brown jug on the road between them. The mountain man carefully aims his rifle at the Yankee's head. "Take a drink out of that there brown jeg," he commands.

"Is it poison?" asks the city slicker.

"Drink!" is all the bumpkin will say in reply, cocking the rifle's antiquated firing mechanism.

The Yankee lifts the jug, takes a swig and promptly falls to the ground coughing, writhing on the dirt path, and generally appearing to be in the throes of a grand mal seizure. As the fit passes he regains his feet and dusts himself off, exclaiming, "That's moonshine!"

The mountain man, who has been watching the Yankee's miseries passively, now licks his lips eagerly and passes the rifle to the Yankee as he says, "Thet's right. Now, you hold the gun on me!"

Alcoholically,

zoid

P.S.
I believe it's encounters like this one that give us all hope that we may one day overcome our Regional differences, and the prejudices they encompass... Now where's thet jeg?
-zed, Southern Man, Homo Sapiens(?) Redneckus

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Friday, December 10, 2004 6:42 AM

BLACKOUTNIGHTS

*steps to the side of the campfire circle with his back to the interior* Avert yer eyes, ladies. *you hear the sound of water hitting the desert floor* Heck! I didn't even know you'n had them there harem girls Jefe! Now lookee here, we ain't sayin' you's gots to share 'em for th' bedroom. We's just need 'em for ah short time to distract everybodee at th' nekkid gold guy awards. *shakes and fastens something and returns to the circle*

Ya know, I shore am glad that nekkid gold guy isn't anna-tomi-cal-ee kerrekt. I dunno if'n that'd be worth much. 'Course if'n Wheelin-Whedon doesn't want it after'n we steal it, I reckon we can melt 'im down and live purdy healthily for a couple'n months. Maybe we kin even git Jayne to help us out.

Whar's that there shine?

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