CAPTION TIGHTPANTS is dead... by TenthCrewMember

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

CAPTION TIGHTPANTS is dead...

POSTED BY: TENTHCREWMEMBER
UPDATED: Thursday, April 7, 2005 13:56
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 14312
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Tuesday, March 29, 2005 6:10 PM

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

...long live CAPTION TIGHTPANTS!

Okay, a bad (early) April Fools joke, so sue me (you won't get much...ball o' lint and a wingless fly maybe).

Where was I?... OH! Caption Tightpants #21 is alive and well so here it is with last weeks winner!

Another great winner! Well deserved and it still has me laughing! Thanks KMS! Now a special CT to test your mettle and to meddle with the test...err...something, yeah, so anyway...

MAL (thinking): Gorram it. I already lost my money, my suspenders and my ship. If I can't roll 13 on these here dice soon, I'm gonna be nekkid...and I doubt articulate with this pen in my mouth. Man! Saffron is good at StripCraps...

Okay, now make me look like an idiot child and show me your genius!

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Tuesday, March 29, 2005 6:16 PM

RUE

I have a vote and I'm not afraid to use it!

Nothing comes to mind at the moments - but D*MN !!! You had me going with that April Fool's joke!

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Tuesday, March 29, 2005 6:29 PM

THEGREYJEDI

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

NATHAN: So which will it be, Wheo? The Red Pill or the Blue Pill?

--------------------------------------------------------------
Chief Engineer - USS SereniTREE.
http://www.jed-soft.com Gamer Rigs, Budget Prices
http://tomeofgrey.blogspot.com
Real Fans Wait - 09/30/05

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Tuesday, March 29, 2005 6:42 PM

JADEHAND

Nathan: I have to roll a what to shoot them? Ah screw it! Give the River character sheet and I'll just kill them all with my brain. mwah ha ha.

Visit WWW.Marillion.Com for a better way to live

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Tuesday, March 29, 2005 6:49 PM

MONTANAGIRL

Nathan actually gets the Jedi mind trick to work and levitates his pen. Silent Bob looks on in jealousy.

Packer fans welcome.
All others tolerated.

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Tuesday, March 29, 2005 7:29 PM

PUMAMANREDUX

Quote:

Nathan: "So the dice in my hand represent the treasure pile .. the bottle of water is the ancient red dragon .. the can of peanuts is the dais and the dice bag is the range of the dragon's breath weapon .. did I get that right? oh and what does this pen represent?"

**************************************

'Trust me - I know what I'm doing!' - Sledge Hammer
**************
http://www.freewebs.com/mjspages/tempfireflypage.htm

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Tuesday, March 29, 2005 8:41 PM

SHINY

THAC0? Yeah, I could use a taco...this pen sure ain't helpin' my appetite any.

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Tuesday, March 29, 2005 10:08 PM

ZOL

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

Nathan didn`t have time to brush his teeth, so, he picked up the nearest white object he could find & hoped nobody would notice whilst he signed autographs ...

"ou es zisss to?"

or

Alan Tudyk looks over and see Nathan & shouts "some people juggle geese you know!"

or

Nathan takes great pleasure from the juices of Jewels pen (think about it Kaylee-strawberries

cometo think about it that could be Morenas pen

Darin (Zol.)

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Tuesday, March 29, 2005 10:22 PM

RAT

"One is a genius, the other's insane!"

-Ratboy

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Tuesday, March 29, 2005 10:43 PM

ZOOT

Genius! and I was onyl re-watching Mallrats this weekend!! Superb cross-over joke (superb film!) . . .

Perhaps ther's some milage out of the ol' "back of a Volkswagen" joke . . .

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Tuesday, March 29, 2005 10:45 PM

ZOOT

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:

"One is a genius, the other's insane!"

-Ratboy

And Animaniacs! Could this week GET any better???

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Tuesday, March 29, 2005 11:09 PM

ZOL

And another one, having spotted what`s in the can

---
Nathan was asked to act Nuts! and was given a can of Planters to act to

---

and of course afterwards he was heard saying "I do the job, then I get paid" (peanuts)

Darin (Zol.)

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Tuesday, March 29, 2005 11:35 PM

CALIGARI

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

Fella on the left: "If I force this pen down his throat with my mind, then he'll finally shut up about seeing Gina Torres' naked ass on the set of _Serenity_....

http://www.livejournal.com/users/tomehoarder/

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Tuesday, March 29, 2005 11:35 PM

SIMONWHO

Random baseball capped dude: Er, Nathan, I think you should know, that pen has just recently been in a very uncomfortable place.

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Tuesday, March 29, 2005 11:48 PM

ZOOT

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:

Random baseball capped dude: Er, Nathan, I think you should know, that pen has just recently been in a very uncomfortable place.

And THANK YOU!!

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Wednesday, March 30, 2005 12:16 AM

KMS

Quote:
Another great winner! Well deserved and it still has me laughing! Thanks KMS!
Thank you! I just love these! Great fun.
---KMS!

Joss (OS): Good, Nathan. Good, boy. Now bring it back. Come on, boy, bring it back.
--Joss discovers that some actors just can’t play ‘fetch’ for nothing.

Or

Other Guy (thinking): Should I tell him that isn’t faux cow poo he’s holding?

Or

Tom realizes the REAL reason Nathan doesn’t smoke, but doesn’t have the heart to tell him not to start in the middle.

Or

Water
Peanuts
Cell phone
Book
Pen
Blue Thing
Paper
Other Guy
Nathan
--Name three items that are in the Serenity movie.

Or

There is a reason that ‘Super Pantry’ didn’t get the job as caterer for the 'Serenity' movie.

Or

Nathan tries out for the staring role in 'Bewitched', but can’t seem to manage the nose twitch without a prosthetic.

Or

Nathan: Who put glue on the gorram pen??? It’s stuck to my lip! SUMMER!!!!!

Or

Other Guy (thinking): I thought it was supposed to be a big, black mustache you grew when you were evil.

Or

Bit in his mouth, emoting like a horse, Nathan practices layers and layers of acting challenges --- while Stanley looks on ---- unimpressed.

Or

Strangely, Nathan’s new cookie duster grows in pure white, revealing his true age.

Or

Trying to move the autograph line along, Nathan begins signing with his feet, hands, and teeth!

Or

Nathan loses his bid to be the new poster boy for the latest ‘Got Milk!’ campaign, when he fails to get the milk-mustache to stick to his upper lip.

KMS!
'We're not obsessed, we're focused.' --Gizzie

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Wednesday, March 30, 2005 12:20 AM

ZOL

Quote:
Originally posted by KMS:
Quote:

Nathan: Who put glue on the gorram pen??? It’s stuck to my lip! SUMMER!!!!!

KMS!
'We're not obsessed, we're focused.' --Gizzie

Actually, I love this one, get`s my vote

It`s ALWAYS Summer`s fault!!

Oh gosh, maybe in for it now ... best run, I`ve seen what River can do ...

Darin (Zol.)

p.s. you can tell the quality of the actor by the quality of his pen and the way he holds it ... oh and then there`s the ink, lots of ink

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Wednesday, March 30, 2005 2:45 AM

EST120

Quote:
Originally posted by TheGreyJedi:
NATHAN: So which will it be, Wheo? The Red Pill or the Blue Pill?

i cannot think of anything at this moment but MAN is this one funny.

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Wednesday, March 30, 2005 4:10 AM

STARPILOTGRAINGER

Other guy: Okay, you hit the Reaver for 20 damage, but he's still coming.
Mal: Gorramit! I get this all day at work, I don't need it in my spare time! Now where's my lucky d20?

Star Pilot Grainger
"Remember, the enemy's gate is down."
LJ: http://www.livejournal.com/users/newnumber6 (real)
http://www.livejournal.com/users/alternaljournal (fictional, travelling through another world)
Unreachable Star: http://www.unreachablestar.net - Comics & SF News/Reviews/Opinions

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Wednesday, March 30, 2005 4:30 AM

MANWITHPEZ

Important people don't do field work.

Quote:

Not funny, you bastard! Okay, it was a little funny, but my heart stopped for a second!

and, my caption:

Anonymous Guy: Yeah, shooting up with ink is supposed to keep you looking younger. I'll take the Pepsi Challenge against that Amsterdam stuff anyday of the week.

Nathan: That's a bold statement my friend. Mind if I shoot up here?

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

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Wednesday, March 30, 2005 5:18 AM

VETERAN

Don't squat with your spurs on.

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:
...long live CAPTION TIGHTPANTS!

Nathan: "Now for my next trick, I will juggle this pen, a water bottle, a pair of dice, and this blue bag."

Succatash: ZZZZZZ

Nathan: "This works a lot better with goslings."

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Wednesday, March 30, 2005 5:39 AM

VOLSTOCK

Joss (OS): Ogres?! Man I got a Ogre slaying knife its got a +9 against Ogres.
Nathan: You're not there, your getting drunk.
Joss (OS): OK but if theres any girls there I WANNA DO THEM!

"I've seen you with no clothes on, never thought I'd see you naked."

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Wednesday, March 30, 2005 5:51 AM

RYCE

Bottle of water: $1
Can of peanuts: $2.95
Not having enough hands to play games with your fans: priceless
or
Finding out your favorite captain is as big a nerd as you are: priceless

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Wednesday, March 30, 2005 6:40 AM

ZOL

Quote:
Originally posted by Volstock:
Joss (OS): Ogres?! Man I got a Ogre slaying knife its got a +9 against Ogres.
Nathan: You're not there, your getting drunk.
Joss (OS): OK but if theres any girls there I WANNA DO THEM!

"I've seen you with no clothes on, never thought I'd see you naked."

hmmm, that sounds like an actual Joss quote

who are you again?

Darin (Zol.)

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Wednesday, March 30, 2005 7:39 AM

KAYLEE4SIMON

The next item up for bid is... well it's not pretty folks... Nathan with a pen in his mouth.

*everyone clears the room, cricket noises are heard*

Nathan: Huh.

Keep shiny!

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Wednesday, March 30, 2005 8:25 AM

COSMICFUGITIVE

[IMG]

[/IMG]

Nathan attempts to break the Guinness World Record for the 'longest time spent holding a pen between your lips' category.

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Wednesday, March 30, 2005 8:33 AM

JADEHAND

Zol wrote:
Wednesday, March 30, 2005 06:40
Quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Volstock:
Joss (OS): Ogres?! Man I got a Ogre slaying knife its got a +9 against Ogres.
Nathan: You're not there, your getting drunk.
Joss (OS): OK but if theres any girls there I WANNA DO THEM!

"I've seen you with no clothes on, never thought I'd see you naked."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hmmm, that sounds like an actual Joss quote who are you again?

Darin (Zol.)

Actually I think that's from an outtake on a videogame. If I remember correctly it was on Summoner for PS2, but I never played it. A friend of mine rented it and saw that. the whole thing was pretty funny if you're into role-playing and such.

Visit WWW.Marillion.Com for a better way to live

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Wednesday, March 30, 2005 8:59 AM

THEDUKE

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

(out of shot)BOOK: Isn't that the pen we used in the 2nd caption tightpants?
(to book) SIMON: yeah, don't tell him tho, he'll get mighty angered!

(oh yes, IRKRON lives on)

I know exactly what the see in me, YOU

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Wednesday, March 30, 2005 9:08 AM

KESSIE

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

Nathan goes to desperate measures to scare his blinddate away. Who would have thought Maria could also be a boys name?

They say it’s the last song
They don’t know us, you see
Its only the last song
If we let it be

http://www.darknessenemyinc.de.vu/

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Wednesday, March 30, 2005 10:48 AM

MALICIOUS

Nathan sees Toby McGuire in line for an autograph and tries to hit him with his own spidey-webbing.

Mal-licious

I think I will add cursing and the hurling about of things to my repertoire.

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Wednesday, March 30, 2005 11:42 AM

CHOLLETT

lol. "Where are the Cheetos?" "Where's the Mountain Dew?" If i'm not mistaken, the Ogre slaying knife thing is from 8-Bit D&D, a flash cartoon on Newgrounds. Good quote.

Anywhoo, now for mine.

Nathan: "You mean this pen, this little bag, and whatever it is in my right hand is my pay for doing the movie? I thought i was getting a year's supply of cilantro!"
Man beside Nathan (thinking): "He never reads the entire contract...."

"When your miracle gets here, you just pound this button once." -Alan Tudyk, in a message to Joss with the packaged button, about the Firefly movie

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Wednesday, March 30, 2005 12:44 PM

LETOV

The D&D game quotes were originally aired by Dr. Demento by "The Dead Alewives". It has since been put to flash video and goodness knows what else. Absolutely hilarious though. Its on a Dr. Demento collection or two.

Amazon has it http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B00004R7LG/qid=111222190
8/sr=8-2/ref=pd_csp_2/104-0405267-0371131?v=glance&s=music&n=507846 (not sure the link'll work) and you can listen to a few seconds of it.

edited a few minutes later -
I really need to get a life. Did a google search and found a site that has the whole thing for download
http://www.fantaseum.com/humor/showhumor.asp?rec_id=12

- Leto_V

"Well, my days of not taking you
seriously are certainly coming to
a middle." - Mal

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Wednesday, March 30, 2005 12:53 PM

VOLSTOCK

Glad I got some people chatting. Yes its by the Dead Alewives but I think the funniest animated version is the summoner one.

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/220487

Especially the monster in the kitchen "Where are the cheetos?"

"I've seen you with no clothes on, never thought I'd see you naked."

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Wednesday, March 30, 2005 12:56 PM

LETOV

My goodness... I'm listening to this for the first time in years and yup... tears pouring from my eyes as I laugh. Ahhhh, memories of my youth...

- Leto_V

"Well, my days of not taking you
seriously are certainly coming to
a middle." - Mal

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Wednesday, March 30, 2005 4:04 PM

CYBERSNARK

There're also a few AMVs to it, though the only one that I knew of before searching just now was this one:
http://www.animemusicvideos.org/members/members_videoinfo.php?v=10636

-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

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Wednesday, March 30, 2005 5:04 PM

JRC

Quote:
Originally posted by Kessie:
Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

Nathan goes to desperate measures to scare his blinddate away. Who would have thought Maria could also be a boys name?

THIS is one of the funniest quotes from any Caption tightpants ever!!!! LMAOOOOO!!!!

Everyone dies alone.

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Wednesday, March 30, 2005 5:44 PM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

okay, first: I love being called a bastard...really. Makes me want to perform more evilness.

second: Isn't the +9 ogre thing from that video called "The Gamers"? I know the rest was from the demento thing...or did they both have it?

third: my next attempt for a caption...

**WARNING! Engaging in comraderie with your fanbase my have unexpected creepifying results. Consult a physician before attempting any potentially risky photo ops.**

Nathan: Gorram warning labels...NOW you tell me! I was naked last week...

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Wednesday, March 30, 2005 5:47 PM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

Anyone seen Raiders of the Lost Ark lately? I see the guy on the right with "LOVE" and "YOU" on his eyelids

Cilantro!
TCM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Wednesday, March 30, 2005 8:11 PM

JRC

Thought that was a gal..........

Everyone dies alone.

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Wednesday, March 30, 2005 10:24 PM

TADPOLE37

Nathan: We have the technology.....we can rebuild Serenity.

or

Other Guy: Ya know, MacGuyver would only need some gum and a paperclip to fix the cortex.

or

Nathan: Ok. I understand the water and the lock-pick kit. But how do the peanuts and pen help us crack the safe?

Other Guy: Mal, you're not thinking fourth-dimensionaly!

Nathan: I always have a problem with that.

--------------------------------------------------
"Ha ha ha. Mine is an evil laugh." -- Wash

"For evil to triumph, good men must do nothing." -- some important british guy

"Thank God for Tango Romeo Echo's." -- me

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Wednesday, March 30, 2005 11:33 PM

REAVERINA1985RIVIERA

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

Nathan (thinking): Wait, if I'm writing with a peanut, then what the hell am I eating?

---------------------------------------------
The real-life box droppin', man-ape gone wrong thing, now without the pesky falling boxes

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Thursday, March 31, 2005 7:59 AM

EBONEZER

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:
Anyone seen Raiders of the Lost Ark lately? I see the guy on the right with "LOVE" and "YOU" on his eyelids

*DIES* OMG! I LOVE anything Indy, that is FUNNY!

Anyway, onto mine:

Guy: Whats that your doing again?

Nathan: Its an anchient meditation technique.

Guy: And the pourpose of the pen is...

Nathan: Will you shhhh for two seconds? You're scaring off all my Zen.

(forgive my lack of spelling abilities)

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/yeabig/

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Thursday, March 31, 2005 8:32 PM

PUMAMANREDUX

nathan: "Can you take the thorn out of my paw ... err ... hand?"

*************************************************

'Trust me - I know what I'm doing!' - Sledge Hammer
**************
http://www.freewebs.com/mjspages/tempfireflypage.htm

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Thursday, March 31, 2005 8:58 PM

RUE

I have a vote and I'm not afraid to use it!

Nathan (muffled): ... peanuts, bottle, phone ... now where the hell did I put my pen ...?
Dude: (discrete silence)

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Friday, April 1, 2005 4:53 AM

MANWITHPEZ

Important people don't do field work.

Quote:

Nathan: Bag, peanuts, pen...If I can assemble these into a weapon, it would be even better than SWORDCHUCKS!

Anonymous Guy: (Sarcastically) Yeah, and I'm the Black Mage! This is not 8-Bit Theater, Mr. Fillion.

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

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Friday, April 1, 2005 5:18 AM

COSMICFUGITIVE

[IMG]

[/IMG]

NATHAN: "AMNPHMNPHAPHMNPHAWMANPHAMNNAPHMMMMNK?"

RANDOM GUY: "Huh?"

(Nathan drops his pen into his hand)

NATHAN: "I said, 'are you sure this will cure my back ache?'"

RANDOM GUY: "Yeah, sure."

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Friday, April 1, 2005 8:45 AM

OXYOPIA

In the midst of explaining the adage 'The pen is mightier than the sword', Mal looks on in surprised horror to see Jayne pull out Vera in order to test the idea...

or

In an attempt to circumvent Joss' standing orders prohibiting anyone from discussing the plot to 'Serenity', Nathan uses everyday objects and the art of mime to convey some of the film's more salient details...much to the delight of his fans

-Oxy

------------------------------------------------

'What people call impossible is just stuff they
haven't seen yet...'

------------------------------------------------

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Friday, April 1, 2005 12:25 PM

DIZ

Dungeon Master in hat: You see a Dwarf lying in the mud, a sucking chest wound putting him on the edge of death. He cries to you: "Please help me!"

Nathan: I waste him with my crossbow!!!

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Friday, April 1, 2005 12:36 PM

DARKJESTER

Nathan: "Well, you said you wanted to meet the real me...."

Flanboy: "Is it too late to change my mind?"

MAL "You only gotta scare him."
JAYNE "Pain is scary..."

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Friday, April 1, 2005 5:13 PM

ANOTHERFIREFLYFAN

The true reason for Firefly's cancellation was finally discovered - Nathan ate the Fox executives pens.

Keep flying

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