worst films of all time by est120

thatweirdgirl wrote:

Quote:

Arsenic and Old Lace...that's a movie!

One of my favorites is 'Gaslight.'

It's quite clear that the three of us share a love for great movies. How many threads or tag logs are full of us shouting names of must-see movies? Lots. I think I'll throw 'Life With Father' in the dvd player this morning,

Too true TWG. My nights of insomnia would have been a very miserable affair were it not for the late night black and white movie on the TV :)

Gaslight, Arsenic and Old Lace are ones I've not seen in years, I must really try gettting them.

I remember going to see 'Touch of Evil' when it was re-released and the cinema was pretty much empty... I couldn't believe it! And I was up in London aswell! Still I had a great time - felt like old Chuck was performing just for me :)... and what an intro!!!!!

Cheers
The
Somnambulist

www.cirqus.com

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Thursday, April 21, 2005 6:24 AM

MAUGWAI

Quote:
Originally posted by p1nkispunk:

Erm...This may annoy some people but I really despised Mulholland Drive.

After seeing Mulholland Drive I wondered if I was just really stupid, or that it meant absolutely nothing. I eventually worked it all out, but was just left exhausted. I'm a big fan of non linear plotting, and mystery and a bit of the "WHAT THE FUDGE!" factor, but this film seemed complete overkill to me - and in making it completely mysterious and weird and screwed up it completely forgot any sort of character development or emotional resonance. Once I worked out what had happened I realised I didn't even care. It wasn't a film such as a series of clever posey moments. I'm reluctant to watch anymore David Lynch...
I had such high hopes as well

"This mummy hand has ceased to exist! It is an ex-mummy hand!"

Oh, I don't know how I forgot about that one. That movie represents everything pretentious. If a film is deep you have no clue as to what's going on, it's not so much deep as it is crap.

Mullholland Drive, together with Spy Kids, is a movie I most wish I could get my 2 hours back from watching. I didn't see those in the theater, though.

"Dear diary, today I was pompous and my sister was crazy."

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Thursday, April 21, 2005 6:28 AM

Originally posted by Cybersnark:

Quote:
Marx Brothers = greatest comedians ever.

Cybersnark may I just give you a virtual hand shake, and say I utterly agree.

I have 6 of their classics on video still, and I just absolutely love watching them.

Cheers
The
Somnambulist

www.cirqus.com

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Thursday, April 21, 2005 6:29 AM

BLACKOUTNIGHTS

To me, the worst movie ever made has got to be Magnolia. I thought it would never end. Thankfully, I rented it and didn't see it in the theater.

It's rare I actually get out to see a movie at the cinema nowadays. There's just so many. I remember as a kid a new movie would come out maybe once a month or something like that. Now we've got like four or five new movies every week and many of them just aren't worth paying the money to see at the theater. When I DO get out, I make sure to check online for reviews from regular fellas like us. If the majority of reviews don't like the movie, I'll wait for DVD if I want to see it. Lately, I think Marvel, PIXAR and M. Night's movie are pretty depenable to be entertaining — at least they are for me and my wife. Of course, Serenity will be good, I have no doubt.

Worst movies I've ever seen at the theater? I walked out of Ghost and Steve Martin's L.A. Story. The direction was pretty good in both movies from what I saw, but the writing was just atrocious. I also hated Young Einstein, but I fell asleep durin it so at least I had some quality time.

Edit add-on—Oh yeah, I almost forgot this one it was so bad.

Highlander 2

I wish I had paid attention to the review I read on it. Shortest review ever...it said...

"Highlander 2 —— no."

"You're either in or you're out, and I'm playing to the in."—Greg Dulli

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Thursday, April 21, 2005 6:37 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by maugwai:
Quote:
Originally posted by p1nkispunk:

Erm...This may annoy some people but I really despised Mulholland Drive.

After seeing Mulholland Drive I wondered if I was just really stupid, or that it meant absolutely nothing. I eventually worked it all out, but was just left exhausted. I'm a big fan of non linear plotting, and mystery and a bit of the "WHAT THE FUDGE!" factor, but this film seemed complete overkill to me - and in making it completely mysterious and weird and screwed up it completely forgot any sort of character development or emotional resonance. Once I worked out what had happened I realised I didn't even care. It wasn't a film such as a series of clever posey moments. I'm reluctant to watch anymore David Lynch...
I had such high hopes as well

"This mummy hand has ceased to exist! It is an ex-mummy hand!"

Oh, I don't know how I forgot about that one. That movie represents everything pretentious. If a film is deep you have no clue as to what's going on, it's not so much deep as it is crap.

Mullholland Drive, together with Spy Kids, is a movie I most wish I could get my 2 hours back from watching. I didn't see those in the theater, though.

"Dear diary, today I was pompous and my sister was crazy."

I understand people not getting on with this or Lost Highway - but I did enjoy both of them. However to do so meant doing a string of Lynch films one after the other aswell as watching his TV show On the Air

He kinda takes getting into a groove with - but admitedly it is a love or hate thing, and I rarely try to sway peoples opinions.

However please don't give up on the guy altogether have you seen The Straight Story?

The
Somnambulist

www.cirqus.com

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Thursday, April 21, 2005 7:00 AM

CALDEEN

I am suprised that:

Highlander 2

has not made anyone's list yet. To me that was the worst. Not only was it just bad, bad bad! But they completely changed the story. Where did the planet Zies come from? Out of the black I guess. Battlefield Earth was bad.
Starship Troopers was bad if you went expecting to see the book made into a movie.
Star Wars 1 was bad since my expectations were so high.

There are a few others that I can not think of atm.

I am not worried about the bullet with my name on it. Just the thousands marked "Occupant".
http://www.geocities.com/homealone111/
http://www.keepflyinggames.com

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Thursday, April 21, 2005 7:08 AM

CAPTAINCDC

Wild Things and Mars Attacks!

---------------------------------------

The only sovereign you can allow to rule you is reason!

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Thursday, April 21, 2005 7:32 AM

INDIGO

Well, the film that my husband and I hold up as our watermark of film-vomit is remake of "The Invisible Man" with Kevin Bacon. Ugh, bleh, and absolutely ridiculous bad science. When we see a stinker we can say... "Well, at least it wasn't Invisible Man."

"A Knight's Tale": painful. painful, painful.

"Queen of the Dammed": wow, I was sooooo dissapointed. Sure, pretty people, but... so dammed.

I think that the title is: "Wild Roses", and I cheat because thank the gods we only rented it, but it earned an Invisible Man award. We were all ready to enjoy a campy sexy chic western flic -- we wanted to scream by the end.

This may be why we almost never see movies in the theature any more... and it used to be so much fun, especially all those "art house" films. Thank goodness for NetFlicks. Thank goodness for great films!

Japanese Windows error msg:
Screen.
Mind.
Both are Blank.

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Thursday, April 21, 2005 7:33 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by caldeen:
I am suprised that:

Highlander 2
has not made anyone's list yet. To me that was the worst. Not only was it just bad, bad bad! But they completely changed the story. Where did the planet Zies come from? Out of the black I guess.

That was a movie that I had mercifully almost forgotten.
That was a special level of bad.

It was, in fact, the worst theatrical experience of my life, far worse than even Matrix Revulsions.

Gonna be sick now Chrisisall

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Thursday, April 21, 2005 7:55 AM

DUG

Highlander 2

Highlander slogan: There can be only one!

Highlander 2 slogan: There should have been only one!

Highlander 3 slogan: The apology.

Highlander the Series slogan: We're sorry about 2 and 3.

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Thursday, April 21, 2005 8:31 AM

dug,
A- friggin'-MEN to that!

Bottled in 1783 Chrisisall

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Thursday, April 21, 2005 8:32 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by dug:
Highlander slogan: There can be only one!

do you mean there should have only been one movie?

hahahahaha.

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Thursday, April 21, 2005 9:30 AM

MANWITHPEZ

Important people don't do field work.

I think Highlander Slogan 3: The Apology is my favorite

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

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Thursday, April 21, 2005 9:45 AM

Q: how is Highlander like Army of Darkness?

A: every time they do another Gorram newer, better transfer, I am compelled to purchase the ruttin' thing!!!!!!!!

Upgrade Chrisisall

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Thursday, April 21, 2005 10:44 AM

GROUNDED

I don't think I could ever bring myself to watch Highlander: The Series, having seen one or two episodes of the godawful Tracker.

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Thursday, April 21, 2005 11:05 AM

As long as we're talkin' BAD, I was forced to watch that God-awful Steel Magnolias, second worst piece of filth right behind Highlander 2 I ever laid eyes on. Manipulative and trite in the guise of a 'sensitive depiction of strong women' film, gimme a ruttin' break.
It was as real to me concerning women as Rambo: First Blood Part II was to me about men. At least Rambo was sorta fun.

All sensitive and the like Chrisisall

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Thursday, April 21, 2005 8:59 PM

EMMA

Quote:
THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST wasn't made to win awards it was made to show what he went through and how we take him for granted.
I swear every time I hear that it was too dramatic I feel like punching a hole in a wall.

the film was very accurate to what really happend thats what he went throgh that what happened so accept it of just let it go

Leelu777, I tried very hard not to respond so I will do so quickly to try not to disrupt this thread too much.

We have no idea how it happened. The Gospels are not historically accurate they are a retelling of a historical event, each Gospel tells a different story and presents a different Jesus.

The film was an inaccurate portrayal of many points for example, the ancient languages it uses were wrong (the common tongue of the Romans would have been Greek not Latin). The violence was actually unrealistic and excessive, it is extremely unlikely that the Romans would have bothered with so much torture before the crucifixion.

Gibson also added bits from a mystic, Sister Emmerich, which has nothing to do with the Bible. Gibson was merely creating his own version of events.

He is more than welcome to do so and I am happy that people find solace and faith in his retelling but people should no more believe this version is accurate than King of Kings, Jesus of Montreal or any other 'Jesus' film.

I really should get me a signature

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Thursday, April 21, 2005 9:05 PM

ANTHONYT

Freedom is Important because People are Important

Chronicles of Riddick was my biggest dissapointment recently.

Pitch Black was so simple and good. Chronicles was so bogged down and bad. I never would've known it was a sequel if Vin Diesel's character hadn't been transplanted into that fertilizer.

Ugh. What a let down.

--Anthony

"Liberty must not be purchased at the cost of Humanity." --Captain Robert Henner

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Thursday, April 21, 2005 9:47 PM

SOUPCATCHER

Another vote for Highlander 2. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, it did.

And Battlefield Earth. I love the book (I've read one paperback to shreds and had to purchase another copy that is in pretty dilapidated shape from overuse) and was sooooo looking forward to this movie. Damn, it sucked. You know what, though? I'll probably go see Battlefield Earth 2 if it ever gets made.

A new one for the list: Cyborg. I couldn't believe I skipped out of class to see that piece of go se. It's a good thing I was inebriated at the time.

As far as Warriors goes. That was classic. How can you hate the Yankees gang getting their asses whipped? I'm just sad I didn't get to see this in the theater.

And I'm glad to see so many black and white fans here. My happiest movie memory is the month our downtown theater did a Bogart retrospective. Double features for half the price of a current flick, organ music during the intermission, and thirty films in thirty days! I've loved Casablanca for years but seeing it on the big screen was heavenly (and Maltese Falcon, and Dark Passage, and The Big Sleep, and High Sierra, and The Treasure of the Sierra Madre, and The African Queen, and Key Largo, and To Have and Have Not - in case you didn't guess, I'm a huge Bogie fan). And it was great to also see some of his lesser known works (They Drive By Night!!!). We also go through a pretty healthy selection of Davis, K Hepburn, Grant, Stewart etc. on our Netflix account.

---------------------
Next up: Early "Nutcrusher" Jubal and the Firebuggers

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Thursday, April 21, 2005 10:30 PM

FREDIKAYLLOW

I have never hated or walked out of a movie at the theatre. However, I was a little disappointed by 'Series of Unfortunate Events'. The whole re-structuring thing was totally weird, with stuff happening at the end that should have happened at the start. The only movies that I can remember that I actually hated were Legally Blonde 2 (it was basically just the first one in a different setting- only less funny) and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I saw that years after the tv series started at a friends sleepover. When I saw that my friend had hired it out I got so excited, and then I just thought it was so terrible and apologized to my friend for making her watch it.
I was also a little disappointed by X-men 2. Under developed ideas and vaguely confusing at times (for me anyway).
All the Harry Potter movies were a huge let down after reading the fantastic books. I think thats about it. I'm sure there were other movies, but I can't think of them right now.

*************************************************
No Power In The 'Verse Can Stop Me
XOXOX-FREDIKAYLLOW-XOXOX

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Friday, April 22, 2005 1:47 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by AnthonyT:
Chronicles of Riddick was my biggest dissapointment recently.

i agree. i was disappointed but i do not feel it was a TERRIBLE movie. it was just okay but considering i was expecting really cool, just okay does not cut it. it was too complicated and got really overwhelmed with special effects. the whole prophecy thing and riddick being of a long deceased race of people.... just too much. i completely agree with your assessment that pitch black was so simple. it was and that made it great. people fighting to survive. that is basically all that movie was about and the riddick character was just so neat to watch. he was one of the best villans i have seen in a long time. he got too "soft" (although i think that is the wrong word for it) in the sequel.

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Friday, April 22, 2005 4:03 AM

STILLSHINY

Worst in theater:

Father's Day

Austin Powers: Goldmember

Worst rented:

Million Dollar Hotel

Punch Drunk Love

Chronicles of Riddick

Just plain embarassed that I saw it:

Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back

Check out my shop! Firefly & LOST products.
http://www.zazzle.com/contributors/products/gallery/browse_results.asp
?cid=238187680745956238

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the road less traveled by and they CANCELLED MY FRIKKIN' SHOW. I totally shoulda took the road that had all those people on it. Damn." --Joss

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Friday, April 22, 2005 5:14 AM

CARTAGIA

I was worried that people had forgotten the horror that was Highlander II. It was godawful. On top of it. I think it was the first movie I had ever seen on the first showing of opening day. My friends and I skipped class to be the first to see that POS... We came out shattered and disillusioned.

There is one other movie that I am shocked that nobody has mentioned. Perhaps I was one of the few that actually paid money to see it... My friends and I don't even refer to it by name, lest we draw its attention. We refer to it as 'The Movie That Must Not Be Named'... that movie is.. Batman and Robin

Simon: I've never shot anyone before.

Book: I was there, son. I'm fair sure you haven't shot anyone yet.

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Friday, April 22, 2005 5:19 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by SoupCatcher:

As far as Warriors goes. That was classic. How can you hate the Yankees gang getting their asses whipped? I'm just sad I didn't get to see this in the theater.

Soupcatcher, I saw The Warriors in the theatre first run, 1979, in New York along side of gang members hootin' and hollerin' and cuttin' on their seats with switchblades!
Very bracing experience (actually made the flick all the more real for me).

Livin' dangerously and lovin' it Chrisisall

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Friday, April 22, 2005 5:28 AM

SAFEAT2ND

I don't think these were there.... if they were, sorry for the repeat...

Starship Troopers 2- 1 1/2hours of my life I want back! The only highlight..Sorry for sounding sexist...but that Kimber is one damn handsome woman!!
Envy-scratch my last comment THIS is the worst movie ever!
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind- ummmm..what the hell was that!?!?!? Did I miss something??

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Friday, April 22, 2005 5:42 AM

KNIBBLET

1st season of HL was okay. 2nd season was better. 3rd through 5th seasons ROCKED. Why did they rock? One word ... Methos. Peter Wingfield saved that show. I LOVE METHOS.

Quote:
Originally posted by Grounded:
I don't think I could ever bring myself to watch Highlander: The Series, having seen one or two episodes of the godawful Tracker.

"I'm gonna rip you a new puppet hole, bitch!"

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Friday, April 22, 2005 8:04 AM

Am I the only one in here thinks Die Hard 3 was a BIG letdown?
Or is it just it's been too long since I saw it in the theatre, and I'm remberin' it as bein' worse than it was?

Can't recollect Chrisisall

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Friday, April 22, 2005 8:19 AM

MANWITHPEZ

Important people don't do field work.

Holy CRAP!

I can't believe I forgot Dreamcatcher and The Lawnmower Man! Those are two of the worst films ever made. Granted, they weren't based on the best of source materials, and Lawnmower Man just kinda hijacked what it was based on and ran with it...then stumbled and fell, eventually, plummeting to the horrible death it deserved.

Dreamcatcher had the talent, it had the budget, and none of it worked worth a damn. I wanted it to be good, because I was so disappointed with the book, but, what CRAP! And that ending...I could hear the editor thinking: "Well, this shitfest has stunk up the theater long enough...let's just end the damn thing."

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

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Friday, April 22, 2005 8:38 AM

Yeah, those were pretty bad.

Hey! Time to start a Steven King thread!

Thanks for the idea Chrisisall

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Friday, April 22, 2005 9:03 AM

chrisisall wrote:

Quote:
Am I the only one in here thinks Die Hard 3 was a BIG letdown?

Nah I'm with you on that - dreadful film.

What about Armageddon...Yikes. Anybody catch that Stallone Indy car film Driven? crickey that was bad!!! Somebody must've been real embarrassed when editing that together....

The
Somnambulist

www.cirqus.com

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Friday, April 22, 2005 9:06 AM

MANWITHPEZ

Important people don't do field work.

Now...not so fast on Die Hard 3. I never, ever liked Die Hard 2, but I did enjoy the third one. I thought Samuel L. Jackson was an inspired choice, and I enjoyed Jeremy Irons in it too. I'm just kinda fuzzy about Die Hard 4.0...What the hell?

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

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Friday, April 22, 2005 9:19 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheSomnambulist:

What about Armageddon...Yikes.

Actually, if I don't think too hard, I can enjoy that one. If I'm not too tired.

Driven was a plain mess, though.
I also thought The Haunting w/Catherine Zeta-Jones was a big mess.(did we talk about that before?)

Watch out, a big asteroid! Chrisisall

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Friday, April 22, 2005 9:42 AM

armageddon had a few moments. mostly one liners. i like the general's line:

"we spend two hundred and fifty billion dollars a year on defense and here we are. the fate of the planet is in the hands of a bunch of retards i wouldn't trust with a potato gun."

like the actor who played that part too, keith david (i think). he is a great supporting cast actor. i see him all over the place.

oh, the scene where NASA is giving psychological tests to all the team is pretty funny too.

"ya all just throwin this stuff at me, after this is all over can i like, get a hug or somethin'"

i laughed at that one.

"i know i can handle the trip, i'm just not sure i can handle this room"

other than that, the movie was pretty standard. the effects were not even that great. they were okay. still, it was more fun to watch than deep impact. at least armageddon had the humor aspect going for it.

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Friday, April 22, 2005 10:50 AM

Est120, the only outstanding part of Armageddon for me was the moment before Bruce Willis pushed that button. Being a father myself I know that's what I would be visitin' in my mind, too.

Weepy Chrisisall

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Friday, April 22, 2005 11:06 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by est120:
like the actor who played that part too, keith david (i think). he is a great supporting cast actor. i see him all over the place.

Yeah he's cool. He was in John Carpenter's 'The Thing' and 'They Live!' and he did vocal work on the animated series of 'Spawn' - which I used to watch just to listen to his voice.... He has a great voice.

But you're right those one liners are pretty funny - but the film as a whole is bizarre! I think Michael Bay was actually taking it all rather too seriously - his actors had the right idea though....

The
Somnambulist

www.cirqus.com

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Friday, April 22, 2005 12:43 PM

I don't know how I forgot this one: It's actually just come on Channel 4 right now as I type. This film has a classic goof in it, if you get the chance watch it just for all the continuity errors, in particular a shot of a waterfall going upwards!!!! No joke it really does!!! It's absolutely hilarious.

And the film is called........

ANACONDA!!!!!
Possibly THE worst film ever made!!!!!!
Laugh it up!!!!

The
Somnambulist

www.cirqus.com

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Saturday, April 23, 2005 4:32 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by chrisisall:
Est120, the only outstanding part of Armageddon for me was the moment before Bruce Willis pushed that button. Being a father myself I know that's what I would be visitin' in my mind, too.

Weepy Chrisisall

hm. not sure i remember what he was thinking about. it has been a long time since i saw that movie.

gotta agree with "sleepyhead" (somnambulist), i think the movie should just have been about the silliness. besides, most popcorn flicks are like that anyway.

of course, that is what makes them fun sometimes!

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Saturday, April 23, 2005 5:16 AM

It was flashbacks of his daughter's life from when she was born and through her early years to the present all in like 8 seconds-
'scuse me, g-gettin' all t-teary just thinkin' on it...

Can't take him anywhere Chrisisall

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Saturday, April 23, 2005 8:41 AM

CYBERSNARK

Quote:
Originally posted by TheSomnambulist:
Quote:
Originally posted by est120:
like the actor who played that part too, keith david (i think). he is a great supporting cast actor. i see him all over the place.
Yeah he's cool. He was in John Carpenter's 'The Thing' and 'They Live!' and he did vocal work on the animated series of 'Spawn' - which I used to watch just to listen to his voice.... He has a great voice.

Better known to some as the voice of Goliath (and a few others) on Disney's Gargoyles. The greatest series to ever come from Disney.

Quote:
I've been denied everything! --EVEN MY REVENGE!!!

*chills down my spine*

-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

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Saturday, April 23, 2005 3:14 PM