CAPTION TIGHTPANTS #30 by TenthCrewMember

Quote:

A poster for Serenity 2: The Passion of the Alliance.

Or:

Contrary to popular belief, the Blue-Hand Men are actually a group of misunderstood performance artists. Shown here is a still from their recent piece, Serene Composition in Blue and Red.

Or:

Somebody should have warned this fan not to wear heavy red eyeliner to the BDM.

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Wednesday, June 15, 2005 9:11 AM

THEWANDERINGBARD

FOX EXEC: Why did we cancel the highest grossing movie ever! WHY!!!!

KAYLEE: So how come you don't care where you're going?

BOOK: 'Cause how you get there is the worthier part.

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Wednesday, June 15, 2005 9:41 AM

THEDUKE

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

MANTICHORUS, i loved the shaun of the dead reference, fantastic!

As for mine, it's rubbish, but those of u who aint noticed, im not very good at this,

"My eyes, my beautiful eyes"

or

"Ketchup, everywhere"

or

"If you do not shake the bottle, none'll come and then a lot'll"

We achieved the impossible, and that makes us mighty
The Duke
http://spaces.msn.com/members/hungarydave1986

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Wednesday, June 15, 2005 9:41 AM

THEDUKE

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

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Wednesday, June 15, 2005 9:53 AM

KESSIE

Quote:
Originally posted by Mantichorus:

RIVER FROM OFF SCREEN: "I can kill you with my brain!"

FOX EXEC: "AAAAAAAAARGH!"

Or

RIVER FROM OFF SCREEN: "I can kill you with my brain!"

FOX EXEC: "AAAAAAAAARGH! But ... but it was just a story ... it cant be real "

JOSS FROM OFF SCREEN: "That´s what i like to say!"

Or

A fellow browncoat watching the new Fox fall line up !

or

FOX EXEC( seeing the sucess of Serenity): "AAAAAAAAARGH!"

JOSS FROM OFF SCREEN: " I told you I can kill you with my brain! "

---------------------------------------------------
They say it’s the last song/They don’t know us,you see /Its only the last song/If we let it be

http://www.darknessenemyinc.de.vu/

MY Shop: http://www.zazzle.com/contributors/products/gallery/browse_results.asp
?cid=238756307378070768

Official Serenity site
http://browncoats.serenitymovie.com/serenity/index.html?fuseaction=too
ls.invlink&u=Kessie&linkID=36

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Wednesday, June 15, 2005 11:47 AM

RELFEXIVE

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

What happens when you watch too much reality TV.

"My God - you're like a trained ape. Without the training."

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Wednesday, June 15, 2005 2:51 PM

ALLIANCE DUDE:"Darnit! Grape juice everywhere! I KNEW i should've worn a bib!"

OR

ALLIANCE DUDE:(singing)"Red red wiiiiiiinnneee.......Stay close to meeeeeeeeeee...."

OR

ALLIANCE DUDE:"I can explain!I had ketchup chips, and you know how those get under your fingernails, so i tried washing them out, and that made the colour go down my hand, and then my nose started to bleed, and my red contacts started to run........it's all very confusing....."

OR

ALLIANCE DUDE:"WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?!?!?!"

SIMON(OS):"Well you see, it's quite similar to what the ancient egyptians experienced. You know, back on Earth That Was..."

OR

ALLIANCE DUDE:"Sorry about this, i just HAD to sneeze, but i didn't want to close my eyes and miss the ticket sales, in case they sold out...."

OR

ALLIANCE DUDE:"Don't ask..."

OR

ALLIANCE DUDE:"Bless you..."

ALLIANCE SOLDIER(OS):"'Scuse me..."*sniff*

OR

ALLIANCE DUDE:"Anybody got a kleenex?"

OR

ALLIANCE DUDE:"How's this for a Halloween costume?"

OR A TWIST

ALLIANCE DUDE:"How's this for a Halloween costume?"

Buddy waiting in halloween costume shop:"AAAAAAAUUUUUUGGHHHHHHHH!!!!"
/\/\/\/\/\

More to come!
CHECK OUT MY CAPTION GAME!
IT'S ON ROUND #5!!

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Check out MY Caption Game (inspired by Caption Tightpants!!
www.livejournal.com/users/the_zeppo01
(P.S.-If you make any captions, please leave your name or codename so i dont have 10 anonymous entries....)
Time for some thrilling heroics!

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Wednesday, June 15, 2005 3:42 PM

SHINY

Yikes, TCM that screencap is morbid and creepifying!!! 8-0

Can I recommend a more gentle/funny moment from The Message, Chapter 1, 0:03:13 -- you'll know the spot when you see it, it's when Inara is turning to talk to Mal and Mal is rubbing his eyes/temple while they are both illuminated by a blue light (I'd do a screencap for you if I knew how to cap from InterVideo WinDVD 4).

Jayne, your mouth is talkin. Might want to look into that.

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Wednesday, June 15, 2005 3:49 PM

CALLMESERENITY

I agree with Shiny-morbid and creepifying. *shudders*

"What's the use of a house if you haven't got a tolerable planet to put it on?"-H.D. Thoreau

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Wednesday, June 15, 2005 4:17 PM

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

Yes, morbid and creepifyin' it is. Therein lies this week's challenge to make it funny! Dong ma?

I promise next week won't be so corpsified, okay?

Now then:

NEW!
FROM BLUE SUN FOODS
Gorram Reaver Bait
For the savage in you!

or

Eavesdown Docks Customer: Y'know the dogs were good, but man the ribs we're messy as all get out...

or

Agent: NO! WAIT! I'm not the stunt doublarrrgh...

or

(excerpt from Alliance Health Monthly)
"...bleeding from the eyes, nose, ears, mouth and fingertips is a sign that the officer in question has committed treason of the highest order. Remember: A loyal soldier is a healthy soldier..."

BWAH!
TCM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Wednesday, June 15, 2005 4:32 PM

WHITEFALL

Do you like my new make-up? It really brings out my forhead.

OR...

A reaver having a bad (or good) day.

"Some people juggle geese!" -Ancient Chinese proverb.

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Wednesday, June 15, 2005 5:27 PM

DAG

Some people learned the hardway not to sit too close to Jayne in the morning after he drinks Mudders Milk the night before.

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Wednesday, June 15, 2005 6:20 PM

WORKEROFEVIL

Quote:
Originally posted by Cybersnark:
The results of Jayne's "getting naked" distraction idea.

-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

Dang, that's what I was gonna do.

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Wednesday, June 15, 2005 7:02 PM

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

Agent Actor: Is this a dagger I see before me?
Joss (OS): CUT! Gorram it, the line is "argh...". Again from the top, people. Scene 23, take 207...ACTION! (to self) Rutting Shakespearean actors...

or

Agent: TASTES LIKE BURNING!

or

Agent: Funny, I don't remember having stigmata...

or

Agent: So this is what happens when you eat an entire Grade A Alliance Protein Bar.

or

Agent: Whoa. Dude. My hands look like tiny people all dancing and worshipping my godlike physique.
(Ahh, the benefits of working the hospital beat...free meds!)

or

Agent: Well, if the Browncoats rise again, I'll be ready for 'em. Got my warpaint on and everything...

or

One must be careful when juggling geese to be certain to use only gosslings. Adult geese are a might tetchy when juggled, and often peck pretty hard, as the former 2515 Greenleaf Geese Juggling Champion shows us (pictured above).

BWAH!
TCM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Avail yourself of my trade! I have original (meaning: designed by me!)
T-shirts, posters, mugs and more at
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5760
AND
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In or near Ohio? Join us!
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Wednesday, June 15, 2005 7:51 PM

GUNRUNNER

Mal: Jayne stop brining work from your new job here!
Jayne: That’s Special Agent Danny Love FBI to you; and you’re not my boss anymore!

************************

In a desperate effort to escape the hospital River bit Agent McGuinness, unfortunately for him she was infected by some horrific form of space rabies.

************************

Book: Figures first major religious act I perform on this ship is an Exorcism, it couldn’t have been a nice wedding or baptism. I would have settled for a circumcision if it kept me away from this mess!

EV Nova Firefly mod Message Board:
http://s4.invisionfree.com/GunRunner/index.php?act=idx

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Thursday, June 16, 2005 2:47 AM

SIMONWHO

The agent couldn't believe nobody had told him that his pen had been leaking all morning.

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Thursday, June 16, 2005 3:48 AM

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

Agent Actor: I coulda beena contenda...
Joss(OS): *sigh* cut. Scene 23, take 208...action...*grumble*

or

Agent(thinking): Who would of thought a HellMouth would be on Ariel? In a holding cell? At this hour?

or

(from TCM's wife Fernslayer)
Agent M: Oh! So THIS is why we're supposed to wear sunglasses during neuralyzation...

Cilantro!
TCM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Avail yourself of my trade! I have original (meaning: designed by me!)
T-shirts, posters, mugs and more at
http://www.zazzle.com/contributors/home/default.asp?cid=23847914695881
5760
AND
http://www.cafepress.com/10thcrew
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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http://groups.yahoo.com/group/firefly-ohio

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Thursday, June 16, 2005 6:50 AM

ODDNESS2HER

Never let the Bluehands give you an Extreme Makeover.

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Thursday, June 16, 2005 6:52 AM

(From offstage): See, the Tam girl TOLD you you'd killed your father and married your mother! Next time, believe the gorram oracle!

Or:

Under the picture: "The Core welcomes you"
Simon: I can't believe the Alliance actually hired Jayne for Public Relations.

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Thursday, June 16, 2005 12:10 PM

ALLIANCE DUDE:"....this is new...."

OR

COMMERCIAL:
Announcer:"Dry eyes? there's a Visine for that"
"Allergies getting you down?There's a Visine for that."
"Bleeding out of every possible orifice?...umm......We don't have a Visine for that......."

/\/\/\/\/\
more to come!
PLZ try my caption game! 'Tis going kinda slow...my friends aren't into frequent posting, or the whole caption game thing....
The pic is the first thing you'll see(above the BOOK "SPECIAL HELL" Backdrop.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Check out MY Caption Game (inspired by Caption Tightpants!!
www.livejournal.com/users/the_zeppo01
(P.S.-If you make any captions, please leave your name or codename so i dont have 10 anonymous entries....)
Time for some thrilling heroics!

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Thursday, June 16, 2005 12:15 PM

STARPILOTGRAINGER

Alliance Guy: "Huh."

or

Alliance Guy: Oh, right, when *I* cry tears of blood, everyone runs and hides, but when a stupid statue does it, it's a gorram holy miracle!

Star Pilot Grainger
"Remember, the enemy's gate is down."
LJ: http://www.livejournal.com/users/newnumber6 (real)
http://www.livejournal.com/users/alternaljournal (fictional, travelling through another world)
Unreachable Star: http://www.unreachablestar.net - Comics & SF News/Reviews/Opinions

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Thursday, June 16, 2005 12:22 PM

PUMAMANREDUX

"I'm bleeding strawberry syrup !!!"

*****************************************

'Trust me - I know what I'm doing!' - Sledge Hammer
**************
http://www.freewebs.com/mjspages/tempfireflypage.htm

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Thursday, June 16, 2005 12:25 PM

ALLIANCE DUDE:"I've been.....JAMMED!!*lick*....STRAWBERRY!!!There's only one person in the galaxy who would dare do such a thing...........
.......LONE STARR!!!!"

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Check out MY Caption Game (inspired by Caption Tightpants!!
www.livejournal.com/users/the_zeppo01
(P.S.-If you make any captions, please leave your name or codename so i dont have 10 anonymous entries....)
Time for some thrilling heroics!

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Thursday, June 16, 2005 12:36 PM

ANOTHERFIREFLYFAN

...Got Blood?

Keep flying

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Thursday, June 16, 2005 12:45 PM

KMS

Quote:

Tickets to the company picnic for the entire family. --$20
Buying a new lawn chair so you have somewhere to sit. $14
Telling a joke so funny your boss spews fruit punch out his eyes and nose ---- Priceless!

Or

Soldier: Must… Fingerpaint…. Must…..

Or

Red Jello Man fails to become an action hero when he has a melt down in the summer heat.

Or

Exploding Digestive Candy…. The gift NOT to give for Father's Day.

River: Sing, Jayne, sing!
Jayne: I was born under a wandering star….
Simon's doubts about River's plan to use Karoke to escape instead of fists were soon laid to rest.

KMS!
'We're not obsessed, we're focused.---Gizzie

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Thursday, June 16, 2005 1:28 PM

DECKROID

I dont usually do these, so please excuse me if mine totally suck.

"They never even ask me any questions..."

OR

Off Screen Voice : "I find your lack of faith... distrubing"

OR

Voice Over : "This fall on FOX! What happens when you pit 8 strangers with leathal nerve toxins in a deserted sanitarium? BEDLAM! FOX's new reality show this fall." Then the voice continues but very quickly and quietly, "Unless its pre-empted by baseball. May be shown out of sequence. May be cancelled at any time"

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Thursday, June 16, 2005 2:04 PM

WORKEROFEVIL

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

Agent McGinnis: AAAAAAA! The pain! The pain! Hey, does this mean I don't get the reward money? AAAAAAAA!

Now we have to be married. I'm in the family way!

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Thursday, June 16, 2005 2:48 PM

VETERAN

Don't squat with your spurs on.

Ok, let me see, how about a Kentucky Fried Movie reference

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:
[

...The Horrors of Masturbation!
ARRRRGGGG!

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Thursday, June 16, 2005 3:05 PM

SSJ4BLACKBELT

My caption:

"Lieutenant Steve finally realized that gorging himself of cherry pie before his meeting with Blue Sun would only end with embarrassment."

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Thursday, June 16, 2005 4:06 PM

MDNIGHTRADIO7L

Joss calls in the big guns as a warning to the studio execs not to try to push back the release date of Serenity again:

SAMUEL L. JACKSON (OS): There's a passage I got memorized, seems appropriate for this situation: Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men..."

“I loath bus stations. Terrible places. Full of lost luggage and lost souls.”

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Friday, June 17, 2005 5:34 PM

CHOLLETT

Agent: "Ow"

or

Agent: "Michael Jackson was.......acquitted? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"

or

Agent(watching TV): "Too much........Tom Cruise and....Katie Holmes.......eyes.....burning......"

or

Agent(watching TV): "Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan and George Bush and Nicole Ritchie and Michael Jackson in a reality TV show on FOX?!?!?!? MUST....GOUGE OUT..........EYES!!!!!!

"When your miracle gets here, you just pound this button once." -Alan Tudyk, in a message to Joss with the packaged button, about the Firefly movie

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Friday, June 17, 2005 8:37 PM

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

(another idea from the wife, Fernslayer)

Agent J(OS): I guess he wasn't the best of the best of the best...*laughs*...but y'all ain't laughin'...

(and from me)

**on greeting card in his hands (use your imagination)**

Your blood is Red,
Our Hands are Blue,
We use our wand tech
To make a mess of you.

OR

The poster child for FOX television.

OR

SW fan (crying): Why did Eps I - III have to suck so bad? Why, God, why?!?
God (a.k.a. Joss)(OS): Because they're not SERENITY. Besides, the best acting in our movie won't be feom a droid and a CGI muppet that is all crotchety with space dementia. We have real actors.

Cilantro!
TCM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Avail yourself of my trade! I have original (meaning: designed by me!)
T-shirts, posters, mugs and more at
http://www.zazzle.com/contributors/home/default.asp?cid=23847914695881
5760
AND
http://www.cafepress.com/10thcrew
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In or near Ohio? Join us!
http://p097.ezboard.com/bohiofireflyfans
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/firefly-ohio

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Saturday, June 18, 2005 3:34 PM

This lighting designer took "Blue Sun" a little too literally.

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Saturday, June 18, 2005 7:27 PM

BLACKEYEDGIRL

Blue Hand Man I: I told you!
Blue Hand Man II: Fine, you were right, He DOES look better in Red!
Blue Hand Man I: Pay up buddy... Pay up...

First shot, but I can't believe no one made a better in red joke yet...

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Inara: "Do aliens live among us?"
Kaylee: "Yes. One of them's a doctor."

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Sunday, June 19, 2005 12:53 AM

AMYGDALA

ALLIANCE AGENT(to the blue-hand men): "That's it - I've had it with you guys. Come Monday morning, your superiors can expect a strongly-worded spmemo regarding your department's handling of this whole affair."

OR

Although usually a keen subscriber to the "glass is half full" approach to life, right now this alliance agent was finding it just that little bit more difficult to remain upbeat.

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Sunday, June 19, 2005 3:38 AM

MUTT999

Wash was pleased with the results after replacing the distress beacon in the Cry Baby with an episode of "The O.C".

"That's the buffet table....."

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Sunday, June 19, 2005 11:03 AM

ALLIANCE DUDE(vamped):"TONIGHT I'M GOING TO SUCK.....my blood?!?!?This won't do at all...."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Heyo all, just putting it out there (once again) that i have a caption game too, started because of this. Link to it is below, if you are at all interested. It's on Round #5 until the 29th (my rounds last a tad longer because NONE of my friends are into it. EXAMPLE:"If i have to play one more caption game i'm going to explode!!"-This was the first caption i got for round 5 just today after having round 5 start well over a week ago. They just don't get it, i guess. It's not on my latest post, but the one before that. My latest one is full of quizzes. So check it out if you want to. And i know this sounds kindof desperate and kindof pleading, i don't mean for it to be. 'Tis just a suggestion.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Check out MY Caption Game (inspired by Caption Tightpants!!
www.livejournal.com/users/the_zeppo01
(P.S.-If you make any captions, please leave your name or codename so i dont have 10 anonymous entries....)
Time for some thrilling heroics!

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Sunday, June 19, 2005 12:45 PM

OXYOPIA

Tim Burton's take on the blueberry/bubble gum scene in his version of 'Charlie & the Chocolate Factory'...

(I don't think oompa loompas are gonna be any help to this guy)

or

Pranks between actors was fairly common on the Firefly set. Here we see the after effects from Nathan Fillion tricking an extra into taking a dose of the 'Rage virus'...much fun was had by all!

-Oxy

------------------------------------------------
'What people call impossible is just stuff they
haven't seen yet...'

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Sunday, June 19, 2005 1:00 PM

EBONEZER

The Kool-aid man still cries when he sees those 'feed the children' adds on TV.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/yeabig/

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Sunday, June 19, 2005 1:57 PM

BECKAJO

Quote:
Originally posted by StarPilotGrainger:
Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

Alliance Cog: Jeez. You file one gorram paper wrong, and the next thing you know you're bleeding...

OR:

"Sudden bleeding from the hands and face is not a cause for worry. These are simply signs of stress related to one too many encounters with the Reavers, aka 'Fox Execs'. Try deep breathing."

(Despite my own pitiful contribution, I'm a-gonna vote for ASTRAGYNIA's Passion of the Alliance caption.)

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Sunday, June 19, 2005 5:04 PM

Thanks, Beckajo! (The full title would, of course, be "Mal Reynolds' The Passion...," but in the interest of brevity I decided to put it in, uh, caption dummy-talk).

And a new one:

Alliance politics has no place for bleeding-heart liberals.

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Sunday, June 19, 2005 5:19 PM

GAZERBEAM

Agent: "Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day! Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day!"

----------------------------------------------------
"You think you know... What's to come... What you are... You haven't even begun."

"If nothing we do matters, all that matters is what we do."

"We've done the impossible, and that makes us mighty."

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Sunday, June 19, 2005 7:17 PM

KMS

Quote:

Worst paper cut.... EVER!

KMS
‘We’re not obsessed, we’re focused.’ –Gizzie

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Sunday, June 19, 2005 10:34 PM

KMS

Simon(OS): Note to self: avoid the fruitpunch.

KMS
‘We’re not obsessed, we’re focused.’ –Gizzie

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Monday, June 20, 2005 4:50 PM