CAPTION TIGHTPANTS! #31 by TenthCrewMember

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

CAPTION TIGHTPANTS! #31

POSTED BY: TENTHCREWMEMBER
UPDATED: Monday, June 27, 2005 13:07
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 8930
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Wednesday, June 22, 2005 4:51 PM

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

Well, our Tightpants keep on growing! Perhaps we've been reading too much of the "WO GOODE BIBLE"? Right...umm...anyway back to the job at hand, err...game. Long time player and first time winner this week! Take a look!

And for our next amazing caption-seeking image:

Jayne: THIS is the new shirt Simon owes me? Ai ya.

Right, that was lame...so do much better. You know you can!

Cilantro!
TCM

PAST CAPTION TIGHTPANTS!
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=9360
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Avail yourself of my trade! I have original (meaning: designed by me!)
T-shirts, posters, mugs and more at
http://www.zazzle.com/contributors/home/default.asp?cid=23847914695881
5760
AND
http://www.cafepress.com/10thcrew
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In or near Ohio? Join us!
http://p097.ezboard.com/bohiofireflyfans
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/firefly-ohio

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Wednesday, June 22, 2005 4:55 PM

KNIBBLET

And for our next amazing caption-seeking image:

Jayne: You Fab 5 fellas are sly and know about fashion and all... but, gorammit, I ain't sure this jacket is me. Carson, ya got anything splattered with blood?

"I'm gonna rip you a new puppet hole, bitch!"

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Wednesday, June 22, 2005 4:58 PM

VETERAN

Don't squat with your spurs on.

One of the best kept secrets on Serenity was that Jayne did all the sewing.

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Wednesday, June 22, 2005 5:44 PM

RYCE

The Amazing Jayne-o perfects his "rabbit-out-of-a-shirt" act

OR

Simon (OS): Jayne, why are you trying to take my shirt's pulse?

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Wednesday, June 22, 2005 6:12 PM

JRC

Jayne: Naw, tooooo much foofaraw

Everyone dies alone.

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Wednesday, June 22, 2005 6:21 PM

LISSA

Quote:
Originally posted by Veteran:
One of the best kept secrets on Serenity was that Jayne did all the sewing.

i like that one

~lissa, spwhore

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Wednesday, June 22, 2005 6:57 PM

CUNNINGORANGETOQUE

Jayne sees the new wardrobe bought for him to attend the next fancy ball.

OR

JAYNE:*screaming like a little girl*"AHHHH!!PURPLE SHIRTS!!!I JUST LOOOVE PURPLE SHIRTS!!"

OR

JAYNE:"A plain purple collared shirt? In WASH's Laundry pile?!?!?"

OR

JAYNE:"How come Simon never wears stuff like this anymore?"

OR

JAYNE:"Looks like i found Agent McGinnis' shirt after last week's incedent....ouch."

OR

JAYNE:"What kind of shirt is this?The only type of person who would wear this is someone who broods, walks in dark alleys, and may not be a people person, methinks..."

OR

JAYNE:"This seems like more of an "evening look"."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

More to come!!!

ALSO, IMPORTANT NOTICE!!!!:

I'm actually getting an idea here. I know i have said this before, again and again, but i do have a CAPTION GAME inspired by this game(many thanks TCM for making this by the way) on my LiveJournal. Unfortunately it isn't doing well(at all) after round 2. It is on ROUND #5 until the 29th, due to lackluster amounts of posting from my friends, who i guess don't really get it or didnt really catch on.

So here's my idea:
-If it's okay(this is especially directed to TCM), i would like to move my game after Round #5 ends, to this site: Fireflyfans.net!!!!

I'm not wanting to do that to upstage CAPTION TIGHTPANTS, but i feel that it would get much better exposure here, and hey, it might be a fun thing, having 2 Caption Games going here, giving people 2 chances for ideas, and 2 chances to win.

But i'll only do this if i get an OK.

Anyways, i'll make more captions later, cause i know i'll have more ideas!

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Check out MY Caption Game (inspired by Caption Tightpants!!
www.livejournal.com/users/the_zeppo01
(P.S.-If you make any captions, please leave your name or codename so i dont have 10 anonymous entries....)
Time for some thrilling heroics!

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Wednesday, June 22, 2005 7:56 PM

KMS

Quote:

Jayne: Hey, come back here, Doc! I just want you to tell me if this is the clap or not. Damn, he’s one slippery bastard.

Or

Doctor Cobb is amazed when his patient disappears right out from under his nose. He quickly diagnoses Claude Rains Syndrome.

Or

Atomic Wedgie #4 --- Jayne can’t believe his own strength.

Or

LaundryMan strikes again!!!!

Or

Jayne discovers that his patients tend to run away when he wants to play doctor.

Or

Jayne: I’ll be in your bunk.

KMS
We’re not obsessed, we’re focused.---Gizzie

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Wednesday, June 22, 2005 9:44 PM

BLUEHANDTWOBYTWO

" 'do...not...starch.' Son-of-a---!"

~LarryL

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Wednesday, June 22, 2005 9:46 PM

KMS

Simon (OS): What are you doing in here?
Jayne: Captain says we gotta bunk together. Crew quarters are flooded.
Simon (OS): THIS must be what going mad feels like.

Or

Jayne: Damn, I don’t have any pants that will go with this.

Or

Jayne finds it relaxing to pack for his man.

Or

Jayne is upset when his ‘Stain Be Gone’ cleanser doesn’t work.
Simon is upset when his ‘Ape Be Gone’ cleanser doesn’t work.

Or

Simon (OS): Stop looking at it like it’s going to say something, Jayne. It’s just a shirt.
Jayne: Prettier than my last whore.
Simon (OS): Promise me you’ll never speak to me again.

Or

Jayne: Sure. Captain and Zoe get to go to the Advance Screening… And all I got was this lousy shirt.

Or

Fashion!Jayne: Who the hell puts white buttons on a purple shirt!!!

KMS
We’re not obsessed, we’re focused.---Gizzie

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Wednesday, June 22, 2005 10:39 PM

MANTICHORUS

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:
...Long time player and first time winner this week! Take a look!

I, uh, I got words. This... is an auspicious day. The day Mantichorus finally won a Caption Tightpants!

Thanks to everyone who voted for me. Now, before I turn this into an Oscar acceptence speech...

Jayne falls into Simon's trap to find out who'd been stealing his shirts.
JAYNE: "Ruttin' superglue!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
ZOE: "Sir, I think you have a problem with your brain being missing."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
VINCENT: "I don't care what you are doing, so much as the idiotic way that you are doing it."

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Wednesday, June 22, 2005 11:12 PM

KMS

Jayne: Talk about zero body fat. Doc, you gotta eat something. You’re starting to disappear.
Simon (OS): I’m over here, you idiot! Put my shirt down!
Jayne: That explains the lack of heartbeat.

Or

Jayne: Okay, let’s see if you can do ‘I’m a little teacup.’
Wash: You make the worst shadow puppets!

Or

Jayne: That’s some fine stitching. Better than what the doc done for my shoulder. Is that a cross-stitch on the collar?

Or

Jayne manages to track the Invisible Man down, and subdues him in Simon’s room.

Or

Black Suitcase: Just take it. He’ll never know.
Crazy!Jayne: Rutting voices. Don’t look like it would even fit me.
Red Suitcase: How about a smoother. I got plenty of those. Come on….

KMS
We’re not obsessed, we’re focused.---Gizzie

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Thursday, June 23, 2005 2:07 AM

STARPILOTGRAINGER

Jayne was a little less comfortable with Simon's next undercover plan, involving a night at the Roxbury on Ariel.

Yeah, okay, it was lame, I'll try to think of something better later.

Star Pilot Grainger
"Remember, the enemy's gate is down."
LJ: http://www.livejournal.com/users/newnumber6 (real)
http://www.livejournal.com/users/alternaljournal (fictional, travelling through another world)
Unreachable Star: http://www.unreachablestar.net - Comics & SF News/Reviews/Opinions

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Thursday, June 23, 2005 2:24 AM

TAEN

And for our next amazing caption-seeking image:

And the first thing Jayne did aboard Serenity was to remove all the name tags from his clothes...

Jayne: Aw hell, mom...when ya gonna stop callin' me pookie?!?!

To the Judge of Right and Wrong, With Whom fulfilment lies, Our purpose and our power belong, Our faith and sacrifice.

"Serenity comes not alone by removing the outward causes and occasions of fear, but by the discovery of inward reservoirs to draw upon."

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Thursday, June 23, 2005 3:15 AM

CYBERSNARK

"I'M DOING THE LAUNDRY!!!" --The Tick

-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

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Thursday, June 23, 2005 5:00 AM

THEGREYJEDI

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

JAYNE: (singing)My bags are packed, I'm ready to go...

--------------------------------------------------------------
Chief Engineer - USS SereniTREE
http://tomeofgrey.blogspot.com
Real Fans Wait - 09/30/05

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Thursday, June 23, 2005 5:18 AM

SSJ4BLACKBELT

My caption:

"Jayne's relationship with Simon's shirt, which he gave the name "Shirt", soon grew into something that worried the rest of the crew."

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Thursday, June 23, 2005 5:25 AM

STARPILOTGRAINGER

With just a sewing kit and a little work, Jayne managed to transform the hat his mom sent him into a stylish dress shirt.

Star Pilot Grainger
"Remember, the enemy's gate is down."
LJ: http://www.livejournal.com/users/newnumber6 (real)
http://www.livejournal.com/users/alternaljournal (fictional, travelling through another world)
Unreachable Star: http://www.unreachablestar.net - Comics & SF News/Reviews/Opinions

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Thursday, June 23, 2005 5:27 AM

THEWANDERINGBARD

Jayne: AHH finally my slinky shirt, now all I need is those tight pants I ordered.

KAYLEE: So how come you don't care where you're going?
BOOK: 'Cause how you get there is the worthier part.

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Thursday, June 23, 2005 6:51 AM

DOYOUFLIP

*sniff* Ah! Smell's like ass. Wish there was laundry on this gorram boat.

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Thursday, June 23, 2005 9:28 AM

KMS

Quote:

Here we see Officer Jayne Cobb, of the Independent Fashion Police, inspect the wardrobe of one Simon Tam --- suspected of having worn white after Labor Day.

KMS
We’re not obsessed, we’re focused.---Gizzie

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Thursday, June 23, 2005 9:59 AM

CHOLLETT

Jayne joins the cast of CSI for their newest season.

or

Adam Baldwin decides to bring his new work from The Inside onto Serenity. Simon isn't pleased.

or

The newest Reality TV phenomenon: Learning to sew with Jayne Cobb

or

(cheesy british narrator): Now join us as we delve deeply into The Fabulous Life: The Crew of Serenity.

or

Jayne joins the cast of fashion experts on "What Not To Wear".

and now, for some non-reality TV captions. Sorry 'bout all that.

Jayne: "......and i think that the blood can be washed out with some coke or bleach.......wait......is that CHOCOLATE?!?!? Awwww, that NEVER comes out!"

"When your miracle gets here, you just pound this button once." -Alan Tudyk, in a message to Joss with the packaged button, about the Firefly movie

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Thursday, June 23, 2005 10:04 AM

KMS

Jayne inspects his costume for the boy band he's joining on Canton -- Mudder's Boy! -- featuring their hit,
The Hero of Canton don't wear no gorram slinky skirt,
He's a man's man! Just look at that shirt!
Ought to be the mayor! With knife slashes,
And bullet holes, he mashes and bashes,
Than buys his self a whore,
Prettier than the doctor they got onboard.

Or

Jayne: Damn, that's mighty fine work. We didn't call him Stitch Hessian for nothing!

Or

Jayne: I knew the doctor had a secret, but I didn't think it was that he was The Hunchback of Notre Dame!

KMS
We’re not obsessed, we’re focused.---Gizzie

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Friday, June 24, 2005 12:41 PM

CUNNINGORANGETOQUE

JAYNE:"Knew it, probably saw this shirt and turned tail."

OR

JAYNE:"Dear Diary:Today i was pompous and my sister was crazy, then we got captured by hillfolk, never to be seen again, it was the best day ever!....OOoohh!!But your clothes will be seen again!"

OR a twist

JAYNE:"Dear Diary:Today i was pompous and my sister was crazy, then we got captured by hillfolk, never toOOoohh!!A PURPLE SHIRT!"

OR

JAYNE:"It's a wonder i've kept this this long..."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Check out MY Caption Game (inspired by Caption Tightpants!!
www.livejournal.com/users/the_zeppo01
(P.S.-If you make any captions, please leave your name or codename so i dont have 10 anonymous entries....)
Time for some thrilling heroics!

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Friday, June 24, 2005 4:34 PM

DRAGONWINE

Simon OS: You actually found a Blue Sun "Golden Ticket" !?
Jayne: Yep. 2 weeks all expenses on Ripley's Pleasure Planet, and with this shirt I'm gonna get me some. Dong ma?
Kaylee OS: Oh, can you bring me back a "Never-lasting Bogmonster"?

It's a nothing part til you don't got one, then you have to go to ebay.....aaaaagh!

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Friday, June 24, 2005 4:48 PM

RYCE

Unbeknownst to many, Jayne was actually a stickler for organisation, always neatly folding his shirts before packing them.

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Friday, June 24, 2005 9:43 PM

KMS

Quote:

A little turbulence and Simon slips right out of Jayne’s grip.

OR

Simon (OS): Would you and my shirt like to be alone?

OR

The entire crew finds Jayne’s sudden crush on Simon disturbing. No more so than Simon himself.

OR

Jayne: Wash and wear, my ass. I’ve washed the darn thing, now where is he?

Jayne: This looks perfect for cleaning Vera.
Simon: Jayne!!! Not the Armani!!!

KMS
We’re not obsessed, we’re focused.---Gizzie

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Saturday, June 25, 2005 2:27 AM

DARKJESTER

Jayne:"You talking to me? Are you talking... to me?"

or

After years of denial, Jayne realizes that he wants to look pretty.

or

Music in background: "Dance with me,
I want to be your partner, can't you see..."

MAL "You only gotta scare him."
JAYNE "Pain is scary..."

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Saturday, June 25, 2005 3:09 AM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

Jayne: I'm thinking...a fish!...NO! A dead fish...yeah, that'd give me an intimidatin' manner.

-or

Shirt: River isn't here. She's the shirt. You didn't know she could do that--
Jayne: Gorram freak's in my clothes! Mal! Mal! MAL!

-or

Jayne(to shirt): Cap'n? Cap'n? We've completed the improbabilty drive jump, you can be yer own self again.
Mal(OS): I'm standing right here.
Jayne(to shirt): I can hear you loud and clear, Cap'n!
Mal (OS): That's because I'm standin' right here
Jayne looks over to Mal: Oh.

-or

Shirt: Do you think I'm pretty?
Jayne: Umm...

-or a disturbing variation

**Jayne's secret of making friends with inanimates is revealed**
Shirt: Do you think I'm pretty?
Jayne: Umm...uhh...sure! And I will call you Doris. And you can bunk with Vera...

Cilantro!
TCM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Avail yourself of my trade! I have original (meaning: designed by me!)
T-shirts, posters, mugs and more at
http://www.zazzle.com/contributors/home/default.asp?cid=23847914695881
5760
AND
http://www.cafepress.com/10thcrew
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In or near Ohio? Join us!
http://p097.ezboard.com/bohiofireflyfans
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/firefly-ohio

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Saturday, June 25, 2005 3:20 AM

VOLSTOCK

As Jayne inspects his latest eBay aquistion, an artifact from the Earth that Was:

"Ain't no gorram way James Bond fit a gun in this shirt cause its way too small for Vera!"

Thinks to himself: "Wheres that fraud report button"

_____________________________________________________________

"I've seen you with no clothes on, never thought I'd see you naked."

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Saturday, June 25, 2005 6:15 AM

THEDUKE

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

Jayne: I offer this up to you, that i may have a wife like the Capt'ns

We achieved the impossible, and that makes us mighty
The Duke
gōng júe!
http://spaces.msn.com/members/hungarydave1986

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Saturday, June 25, 2005 10:35 AM

KESSIE

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

Jayne(thinking): Would this make me look fat?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They say it’s the last song/They don’t know us,you see /Its only the last song/If we let it be

http://www.darknessenemyinc.de.vu/

MY Shop: http://www.zazzle.com/contributors/products/gallery/browse_results.asp
?cid=238756307378070768

Official Serenity site
http://browncoats.serenitymovie.com/serenity/index.html?fuseaction=too
ls.invlink&u=Kessie&linkID=36

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Saturday, June 25, 2005 1:39 PM

KMS

Quote:

Shirt: Am I not a shirt? If you pull on me, do I not lose a button? If you spill on me, do I not stain?
Jayne: Gorram fancy Core clothes.

Or

Mal (OS): Jayne, what have I told you about touching everything… Hey, that's really nice, ain't it?
Jayne: It's mine. I found it first!
Simon: (OS): You found in it my luggage! Put it back!
Mal (fingering the shirt): Can I have it?
Simon: NO!
Kaylee(OS): Hands off Jayne! If anyone is touching anything of Simon's, IT WILL BE ME!
**Jayne drops shirt & all three men disappear in terror**
Kaylee (hugging the shirt): It's good to be the queen.

KMS
We’re not obsessed, we’re focused.---Gizzie

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Saturday, June 25, 2005 8:44 PM

KMS

Simon (OS): I don’t know, Jayne. If I got a shirt, I’d want one with some slink to it.
Kaylee (OS): Slinky shirt? Captain, can I have money to buy Simon a slinky shirt?

KMS
We’re not obsessed, we’re focused.---Gizzie

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Sunday, June 26, 2005 12:54 AM

COSMICFUGITIVE

Quote:
[img] Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

[/img]

JAYNE: "The living legend needs eggs!"
(gives it thought)
"Or maybe, this shirt!"

OR:

RIVER: (offscreen) "He looks better in red."

OR:

An X-Files/Firefly crossover!

JAYNE: "Is there any way I can get it off my fingers, quickly, without betraying my cool exterior?"

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Sunday, June 26, 2005 7:05 AM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

One last volley, and then to the voting!

Jayne: Reavers ain't men...I mean, look at this, who wears flesh? Really?

V O T E
http://vote.sparklit.com/web_poll.spark/919006
V O T E

BWAH!
TCM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Avail yourself of my trade! I have original (meaning: designed by me!)
T-shirts, posters, mugs and more at
http://www.zazzle.com/contributors/home/default.asp?cid=23847914695881
5760
AND
http://www.cafepress.com/10thcrew
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In or near Ohio? Join us!
http://p097.ezboard.com/bohiofireflyfans
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/firefly-ohio

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, June 26, 2005 7:09 AM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

oh and one for Wiccy:

Chinese silkscreening on shirt reads: Don't hate me because I am beautiful, hate me because I am eeeeeevil!

Jayne(with grin): Yeahhh...this'll do.

BWAH!
TCM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Avail yourself of my trade! I have original (meaning: designed by me!)
T-shirts, posters, mugs and more at
http://www.zazzle.com/contributors/home/default.asp?cid=23847914695881
5760
AND
http://www.cafepress.com/10thcrew
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In or near Ohio? Join us!
http://p097.ezboard.com/bohiofireflyfans
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/firefly-ohio

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, June 27, 2005 1:07 PM

FANGIRL

Think the whores will like me in this?

"Hell is empty and the devils are all here." - Shakespeare

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