Hunt for the Secret Hidey Place of Nice Boys by mai

You mean to tell me the secret hidey hole is on the tree? Yea, I can see that... I guess its true you never see what's right in front of you. There are some definite nice tree folk men.

*Vows to spend a lot more time getting to know the nice tree folk men*

I agree hottness has nothing to do with niceness. Self confidence, and also on the top of that list is sense of humor (the ability to act silly at any given moment is very attractive)oh and a bit of nerdiness is nice too.

Quote:
A guy may be hotter than Sean Maher (is it possible?)

No, it's completely impossible

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Tuesday, October 25, 2005 7:48 PM

Quote:
But that's me, I'm bitter, with cats. ;) Sadly, it doesn't stop me from liking boys!

Same here. I feel your pain. That's the whole point of the thread, we shouldn't have to give up and we should find someone who just fits. Its not easy, but it will be worth all the trouble once we find him.

(Whoa. That was me being very optimistic, someone write it down cause it might not happen again.)

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Tuesday, October 25, 2005 8:16 PM

duly noted and recorded ;D

---
inch towards daylight

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Tuesday, October 25, 2005 8:56 PM

THUNDAR

Quote:
This is not to say all nice guys suck. There are a few left out there who haven't been crushed under the heel of some satanic harpy. But I think those few may be hiding in caves or something, cos they don't seem to come out much.

*Hears a commotion outside the cave*

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Tuesday, October 25, 2005 10:02 PM

TUDYKRAWKS

well i've had the evil harpie thing happen to me, but apparently i'm still "nice" that's what i keep getting told. most women i know say i look like the bad boy, but am actually the nice guy. i'm in no way trying to boast so i'm sorry if it came off that way.

"mine is an evil laugh"

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Tuesday, October 25, 2005 10:51 PM

SOUPCATCHER

Quote:
Originally posted by chrisisall:
Here's another: watch Somewhere In Time(Christopher Reeve, Jayne Seymour, 1980) with a guy and see if he cries at the end. Any guy that don't cry- hit the ejector button.

Chrisisserious

That reminds me of a story...

When I was in elementary I spent the night at a friend's house. His mother sat us down the next morning and put Somewhere in Time on while we ate breakfast (knowing what I know about the family, it was probably on Beta). Kind of confusing for a nine year old but it did lead to a crush on Jane Seymour that has lasted to this day and an appreciation for Rachmaninoff. Oh, and a compelling desire to rent the movie every so often. I wonder if it's too late to put on the soundtrack? Where's my headphones...

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005 12:30 AM

THESOMNAMBULIST

mai wrote:

Quote:
Same here. I feel your pain. That's the whole point of the thread, we shouldn't have to give up and we should find someone who just fits. Its not easy, but it will be worth all the trouble once we find him.

(Whoa. That was me being very optimistic, someone write it down cause it might not happen again.)

Hi Mai :)

Well I like your appraoch to the whole situation. It is tough and it is so much easier to go brutal on the world and decide to give up on it all.... and I must say for my part I had pretty much resigned myself to this fact....

However, were it not that I've viewed all my past failings with a great deal of humour and slapstick I'd maybe have gone completely nutts! Hey I may even be so now, how would I know?... When you find yourself being dumped because your girlfriend says:
"Why don't you get angry??!!! I can't stand it that your so nice all the time!!!" while sobbing her eyes out... It does cloud your judgement some. Leaves you very few places to go. Except maybe the cuckoo house or the world of 'care free' and 'hide it under the carpet' type humour.... I could go on but really... when it's presented in list form it looks less funny.... more....like I've been walking around with a bullseye on my head.

Thing is though believe it or not all this happens for a reason, at least it has for me, for without it all; the slapstick, the ridicule,the endless having the girl you care about crying on your sholder about the guy she cares about, not caring about her, but that she slept with him anyway because because because KABOOM!!! There went my heart!!BTW!!! Don't worry I'll clean that up later when you've gone!! In fact I wont be needing it again anyway so yeah go ahead tread all over it, on your way out, it wont matter....

Without all of this. I wouldn't have met the person I'm with now....and I'm kinda glad for that.

Of course I had to travel 10870 miles to Australia to find her, but find her I did, and it's all down to nothing more than serendipity!

That's all anything is down to. Sheer blind luck! Nothing more, there's no skill, no fashioning of circumstances, or creative praying, no voodoo, or witchcraft, no conjuring of the heavenly spririts or clever 'understanding of the opposite sex' or a particular attitude to adopt when talking to the opposite sex.

No

Just luck.

..And we are all entitled to a little of that from time to time.

The
Somnambulist

www.cirqus.com

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005 2:04 AM

XEROGRAVITY

This is a brilliant thread. Clever.

Cut's right down the core of every male who posts here (cept for maybe me). Mai, you a psychologist?

Ain't takin the bait.

I side with Mal ~ whores full of feminine wiles, the whole damned lot of them.

XG

No such thing as gravity. The "Earth-that-was" just sucks.

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005 2:12 AM

yep that's me brilliant as can be. nope not a psychologist, but i wanna be when I grow up. i knew i'd put those 5 years of school to good use at some point and this must be it!

Quote:
whores full of feminine wiles, the whole damned lot of them.

but that's why you love us so much!

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005 3:17 AM

EMBERS

This IS an interesting thread...it is a lot of fun to read and witness the eternal battle of the sexes...
It is hard: nice guys suffer because so many girls want a 'bad boy'... but see, that is because they are all wanting to date the High School cheerleader, they aren't looking for nice girls

Of course I always thought 'Somewhere In Time' sucks big time, so I guess that makes me not so much a nice girl...huh?

Anyway what I really want to respond to
(my favorite hijack)

Quote:
Originally posted by batmarlowe:
This is sort of a hijack and sort of a pertinent question:

At what point in between "I don't know sir, there's just something I don't like about him" and their wedding did Zoe start to fall in love with Wash?... After he shaved off his moustache, I mean.

I think it when she saw how gifted a pilot he was.

What do you all think?

Yeah, over at Universal's board they had a writing competition: to write Zoe & Wash's wedding vows.
And I mentioned this very point:
I think Wash fell in love at first sight, that Zoe was the reason he joined the crew of Serenity in the first place.
And Zoe wasn't sure about this guy (probably uncomfortable because she could tell he was attracted to her) until she saw him fly...
those sensative and steady hands,
of course she needed him to tear her clothes off of her (just as she did in the pilot episode of 'Firefly')...so she made him shave off the stupid mustache,
because even Zoe can't resist trying to make some changes in her man (hey, she didn't complain about the dinosaurs or Hawaiian shirts!)
LOL

So advice to the young (this mostly works for young women): propinquity is your friend!
Most guys (nice or bad) are looking for a girl they can talk to AND make love to....
So if you like a guy, become his friend.
Do stuff with him, gaming, movies, whatever....
sooner or later he'll feel romantic (how often to young guys think about sex in any given hour?)
THEN be available....
it totally worked for me.......

Advice to men: you know a girl/woman you would like to get closer to, but don't know how?
Sometime when you are together just lightly rub the middle of her back (nothing sexual, just friendly like)
if she jumps and pulls away then cool it, she isn't ready,
BUT if she leans in toward you, then go for it,
she really likes you.

Just random advice from an old one.

**********************************************
watch the R. Tam Session vids: http://www.hittarivertam.nu/
and buy the 'Serenity' comics published by Dark Horse!

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005 3:34 AM

THESOMNAMBULIST

Embers wrote:

Quote:
Sometime when you are together just lightly rub the middle of her back (nothing sexual, just friendly like)
if she jumps and pulls away then cool it, she isn't ready,
BUT if she leans in toward you, then go for it,
she really likes you.

....er what like if she does a kind of shudder?... is that bad?...is it? coz i get that alot...

The
Somnambulist

www.cirqus.com

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005 3:57 AM

EMBERS

Quote:
Originally posted by TheSomnambulist:
Embers wrote:

Quote:
Sometime when you are together just lightly rub the middle of her back (nothing sexual, just friendly like)
if she jumps and pulls away then cool it, she isn't ready,
BUT if she leans in toward you, then go for it,
she really likes you.

....er what like if she does a kind of shudder?... is that bad?...is it? coz i get that alot...

The
Somnambulist

www.cirqus.com

LOL
okay her response is hard to understand...then just slowly take things further,
rub her back up to the base of her neck...
gently massaging the nap of the neck
(this is an erogenous zone BTW)
could be that shudder was a pleasure response,
if so it should get more obvious.
OTOH if the shudder was more of the revulsion kind
(which can't be true!)
then she will make it clear that the whole neck rubbing thing is inappropriate.

I've been thinking about writing a book on the subject.

**********************************************
watch the R. Tam Session vids: http://www.hittarivertam.nu/
and buy the 'Serenity' comics published by Dark Horse!

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005 4:18 AM

Okay...

time for me to weigh in.

I think the whole 'nice guy' thing is an illusion. Yes, there are nice guys...there are 'bad boys'...and some women like one, some women like the other and some women like both or neither.

It isn't about whether or not the guy is a 'nice guy' or a 'bad boy'...it's about chemistry.

Chemistry has to click on several levels, in my opinion.

There has to be intellectual chemistry. You can't enjoy a relationship with someone you can't enjoy a conversation with. This isn't to say, "He has to be as smart as you." It just means that he shouldn't respond to all of your statements with a blank stare. Sometimes intellectual chemistry means that they love to learn the things you know, or share the things you don't know that they do. It doesn't mean that if you like 'The Learning Channel' that you can't love someone who watches "Laguna Beach" religiously. Mahealani LOVES "Sex in the City" and I HATE it.

There has to be SEXUAL chemistry. No, I'm not talking about actually HAVING SEX(Kudos to those who wait), I'm talking about being in a relationship with someone who excites a desire within you, and you excite a desire within them, whether you do anything about it or not. What one person finds to be very attractive physically/sexually, may not be all that hot to someone else, and that's fine. But if they don't excite YOU, then it's not going to work as anything other than friendship. All you nice guys out there who watch the purse, who hold the hair, who sit on the phone for long hours while they bitch about the abusive ass who just broke their heart? That is probably what isn't 'clicking' with you and your female friend that you've been carrying a torch with for way too long.

Besides...'nice guy' and 'bad boy' are too restrictive. Let's use me as an example.

Bad Boy Qualities:

1. Rock and Roller (in a succesful band and everything)
2. Drill Instructor/Soldier Type, all hard-bitten, cynical and steely-eyed.
3. General scoundrel/rake...I love to be 'charming' at any woman in my presence. I love to make them sigh and giggle and swoon.

Ask about half the folks that know me and they'll tell you I'm a 'bad boy'.

Nice Guy Qualities:
1. I work with kids, and they are my life.
2. I never refuse any friend (and most strangers) any sort of favor or help if it is within my power.
3. I treat women in my life like queens, nay, goddesses...with respect and love and admiration.

Ask about half the people who know me, and they'll tell you I'm a 'nice guy'.

The whole thing is completely subjective. You need to look at CHEMISTRY.

http://burstsofstatic.blogspot.com

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005 4:30 AM

THESOMNAMBULIST

Embers wrote:

Quote:
LOL
okay her response is hard to understand...then just slowly take things further,
rub her back up to the base of her neck...
gently massaging the nap of the neck

...should we get a room at this point...coz...it's getting kinda steamy!!!

Quote:
(this is an erogenous zone BTW)
could be that shudder was a pleasure response,
if so it should get more obvious.

..wha? bells n lights and an orchestral score..

Quote:
OTOH if the shudder was more of the revulsion kind

Ah!! Bingo!!! There it is.... Figures!

Quote:
(which can't be true!)

"Hi Embers, good of you to come. Welcome to my world!!!"

Quote:
then she will make it clear that the whole neck rubbing thing is inappropriate.

will there be diagrams? Semiphores, sock puppets?

Quote:
I've been thinking about writing a book on the subject.

Good idea. There should be a book on this stuff. I'm sure there was, thousands and thousands of years ago.... Well not a book as such more like a cave painting.....

"Take club in favoured hand."
"Then"
"With a swinging motion, hit cranium of desired female subject"
"Then"
"Take back to cave"

job done.

The
Somnambulist

"Me... I'm just a hapless egg on whom the fates have mocked to bare, the dire and comical extremities of mishap."

www.cirqus.com

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005 4:42 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by LightMeDark:
Quote:

Quote:

CALLMESERENITY wrote

The problem is that sometimes we don't know a guy likes us. If he doesn't make a move, how are we to know?

This has always more or less baffled me. Why, especially in this time of "equality," must men make the move? It's ridiculous.

Well, I am quite an old fashioned girl. I'm not looking for equality, per say. I find that idea ridiculous. Men and women are wired in completely different ways. We think and respond in complete different ways. And this includes how we respond in our relationships.

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny

I have a live journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/callmeserenity/

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005 4:55 AM

SAFEAT2ND

Static. Brilliantly said!

Mutual respect is a big thing. There is no such thing as opposites when the chemistry and respect are there. My wife could be considered an introvert and I'm an extrovert, yet here we are 13yrs later, still going strong.

Getting past the external trappings is hard. There are guys on my Softball team that are labeled "bad boys" due to their appearance, shaved head, goatee etc.. that are some of the nicest guys you'd ever want to meet.

I heard somewhere the key was to watch a guys eyes when he laughs. If the laughter shows in his eyes, he's genuine.

Safeat2nd, Chief Handyman of Destiny

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005 5:39 AM

First of all Static: You are a Genius!! Talk about hitting the nail on the head!

Call Me Serenity: I'm with you kinda on this.

Here's how it is: I am a ballsy, brazen, pretty, loud mouthed girl. The way I see it is this, if you don't have the guts to ask me out, or even just talk to me (just talking to me is mostly enough, cos you had the guts to take the risk, to take the chance), then you probably don't have the guts/balls to deal with me. I know I'm not simple, I'm complicated, but I'm not demanding and I don't pick fights or any of that lame-ass girl crap, but I'm a handful.

I am by no means a traditionalist, but I've got terrible taste. Of the last 3 that I picked, one was a 35 yr. old janitor (I was barely 25) with rock and roll dreams, daddy issues, and was scared to touch me, also the man was incapable of getting mad at me which just pissed me off even more. One was 2 years older than me, and lied about everything from the first minute I met him, he's now in prison for molesting children and drugs! Then there was the one who was my age, but had no ambition, wanted to be a DJ, and who constantly borrowed money and asked for rides everywhere, oh yeah he also claimed to 'love me' within 1 month of us meeting. Regardless in the last 5 years my longest relationship is 2 months, and that's the only relationship, cos I know that I'll pick badly again, I always do!

So yeah, I prefer to let them pick me. It seems to work better. But boys are scaredy cats (and I hang out with boys which is probably intimidating).

Then again right now I'm pining away for a close friend who if you asked me is perfect (and who I basically told 'I want you exactly the way you are, flaws and all, I don't want to fix you or change you or turn you into someone you are not, I want you just the way you are), but when I asked that we be an exclusive thing he freaked out and offered to sacrifice our physical relationship (cos we have one) so that our friendship can remain. Which I think is scaredy cat talk. I asked him why he thought my friendship would disappear if we were 'together' (I don't use words like dating), he had no answer except to compare me to all the stupid harpies that he'd been with before. Something to the effect of: "I don't talk to any of them any more, I don't want to stop talking to you." I don't know why some men think that a girlfriend and a girl friend can't be the same person. Was there some lesson on this when they pulled you guys away for the puberty talk?

As the constant 'chick friend' (most of my friends are male), I want to offer the other view of these situations: While you nice guys sit out there and listen to the laments (of some girls, not all of us), I get to listen to this: She tried to suck out my soul, she wanted me to change, she wanted me to do this and stop doing that and blah blah blah. To which I offer, wow, she sucked, good thing that's over. Then I hear, I wish I could find a girl who wanted me just the way I am, I'm not perfect, but shit no one is. To which I die inside because I am that girl and I am sitting right in front of their face and it's like I've been delegated to 'buddy' status so I can't ever be looked at as some sort of potential. I mean we collectively lament, and it's pretty clear that I am not that girl, to which I always get, I wish there were more like you out there. Or I'd marry you if we weren't such good friends. Then they turn around and date another soul sucking pretty little thing harpy bitch, and I get left to pick it all up when she goes insane and turns into the soul vaccuum.

So yeah, it sucks on both ends.

I've also been dumped because I made a man feel like I didn't need him. Well, generally I don't need a man. I can take care of myself, I don't want your money, or to boss you around, or for you to fix stuff or buy me things or so any of that stupid demanding crap, I don't really need you for that, what I need is a partner in crime, a confidant someone who will be there to laugh with me and who will be there when I need them and who I can be there for too. I need a friend who I can't live without, who the sight of makes me die a little inside, who I want to take care of and to take care of me, someone who makes me quiver with anger (sometimes) and who can melt me with a word. Someone who can teach me something and who is willing to learn. I want someone with the self confidence to let me be the smart girl that I am and not feel intimidated.

There are 2 kinds of woman in this world: Settlers and Fighters. Settlers will give up and just marry whoever comes along that is sort of good enough, someone they can mold. They give up the dream, they settle. Then there are fighters, and we aren't going to take less than we want, less than we deserve. There aren't a lot of us, and everyday we lose a couple cos they just can't take it any more. We still live in a society where it's okay to be a single man, but if you are nearing 30 and unmarried, you are looked at as strange. This isn't so true in places like New York, or Chicago or LA, but 95% of this country aren't those places. It's hard to keep fighting.

Whoa that got kinda deep.

Even though it sucks and its hard, I still hold out hope. I'm a romantic like that (not the candy and flowers kind though, ewww). And Mai, I did mark it on the calendar.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
http://pluraplofapocalypse.blogspot.com
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Inara: "Do aliens live among us?"
Kaylee: "Yes. One of them's a doctor."

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005 7:36 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by BlackEyedGirl:
We still live in a society where it's okay to be a single man, but if you are nearing 30 and unmarried, you are looked at as strange. This isn't so true in places like New York, or Chicago or LA, but 95% of this country aren't those places. It's hard to keep fighting.

Yep. that's me right there. Apparently I'm going to expire at 30 if I don't get married and start reproducing. Just ask my parents.

You know, being single doesn't bother me 99% of the time. I'm too busy working and trying to pay off my large medical bills so I can go back to school to worry about dating.

But it'd just be nice to have the option, you know?

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny

I have a live journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/callmeserenity/

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005 7:46 AM

I think my mother actually thinks that if I'm not married by 30 that I may in reality be a closeted lesbian, or worse, destined for spinsterhood. I'm an only child so my mother is especially keen on getting me a ring and a husband. My dad could care less, he just wants me happy.

So my mother offers me advise like: wear a shorter skirt, or put on some lipstick. She thinks lipstick alone has the power to draw in a husband. As if it were some magical lasso that men can't resist. She tells me things like, when you go to the grocery store, put on some lipstick, you never know when you could run into 'the one.'

She cracks me up! I mostly don't mind being 'single' myself, but i think that may be cos I'm so used to it at this point that I don't know if I could really deal with someone else 24/7! ROFL!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
http://pluraplofapocalypse.blogspot.com
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Inara: "Do aliens live among us?"
Kaylee: "Yes. One of them's a doctor."

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005 7:48 AM

PSYCHICRIVER

So, how goes the hunt?

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."

"We'll take care of each other. I'll knit!"
"I swallowed a bug."

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005 8:14 AM

Ok, so you're all right about one thing "nice" guy just doesn't cover it.

It should be the hunt for:the one that fits, the one that you know is for you, the ultra communciative, intelligent, compromisin', not afraid to stand up for himself (or anyone else he loves in a friendly manner or more), open minded, well-rounded, never wanna let you go,( but not suffocate you every single second of the day either), humble, hilarious, sensitive (but not a pushover),sometimes a bit nerd like, doesn't care what you're doing as long as you're doing it together,happens to love firefly (ok, that last ones not really a must just my attempt to make the thread relevant and would be a very humongo bonus), etc, etc, etc... SEE I'M NOT ASKING FOR MUCH.

But nice was much easier to fit into the title box.

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005 8:20 AM

I hate to sound like a bastard by bringing sex into this...but hey, I AM a bastard.

Of course, it's pronounced bah-stahd...upper-class English accent-like. (Eddie Izzard, anyone?)

I have never seen you or met you...so I may be WAY off the mark here... but once again...

Intellectual chemistry makes for great friends.

Sexual chemistry makes for great one-night-stands.

The combination makes for legendary lovers.

Whatever it is, I guess something doesn't 'click' sexually with these guys.

http://burstsofstatic.blogspot.com

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005 8:24 AM

Yeah, the first thing my mother asks about a girl (usually) is does she want kids? I always tell her, y'know things are going great but we really didn't get to that on the first date, mom. Yeah, I'm (kinda) an only child, and she wants nothing more than grandbabies, haha.

She usually asks the age, too...I tend to like women older than myself (i'm 23, last gf is 30), oh, and I tend to like the ballsy brazen type. That only ever gets me into trouble, though. My mother actually would ask me periodically if I was gay or not because I never had a girlfriend until I was 21. I love my mom to death, but it's kind of damaging to be asked that.

I agree on the equality thing, which is why I put it in quotes earlier. Men and women are just too different for illusions of such. I'm still frustrated with the whole first move thing, anyways. That's probably why my only two relationships that have gone past a couple dates were started by the woman pursuing me instead of the other way around. It's attractive.

I have to mention on the intellectual whore front, perhaps I'm not typical. I don't just go along with what my girl friends say all the time and do nothing but comfort them. I tend to be very opinionated on certain things (aren't we all?) and have no problem telling them what I think about what they are doing or what they should do. I've found that it helps them more to open their eyes (or at least not be the passive shoulder to cry on) than to blindly console. It's easier to be this way having been in no relationship for the better part of a year, though. Things are much clearer this way ;)

But why then do they keep coming back if I'm not the typical shoulder to cry on? I'm often told that I make people feel instantly at ease and utterly comfortable. People tell me they feel like they can trust me implicitly (and they can). Maybe the honest (and often harsh) opinions and advice are actually more appreciated than the everything's ok attitude. It's not to say that I'm gruff and grating, I'm actually more or less gentle...but I say what I think.

---
inch towards daylight

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005 8:28 AM

Mai...you're not asking for too much. You're never asking for too much if you're asking for the one who's right for you.

This is what I used to tell folks I was looking for in a woman.

She must be a classy, intelligent, sophisticated, well-read, biker chick. It's not so important that she knows alot about everything, but that she's passionate about what she IS into, and is willing to experiment and experience everything the world has to offer.

She has to have a favorite pair of jeans that she swears she'll never part with. She doesn't have to have a supermodel body, but what she DOES have needs to be well taken of. I can't respect someone who doesn't respect themselves well enough to do self-maintenance.

She has to be perfectly comfortable in a sequined, fitted evening gown for a night at the opera, and she also has to be adventurous enough to lean over during Turandot's opening aria and whisper to me that she is wearing my favorite thigh-highs and no panties. And then change into those favorite jeans in the car after the opera while we're on our way to have a few beers at the local biker bar.

She has to recognize that foreplay starts with "Hi, how are you?" and that it can last for hours, days, weeks or MONTHS."

Noone's standards are too high if it's what they want to be happy.

http://burstsofstatic.blogspot.com

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005 8:35 AM

What are you saying, Static?

You met Mai at the NCBDMPP, remember? Gunshot Kaylee? I have pictures as proof.

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny

I have a live journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/callmeserenity/

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005 8:43 AM

Oh...sorry...wasn't specific.

My 'never met you' comment was to Blackeyedgirl.

Sorry.

http://burstsofstatic.blogspot.com

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005 8:48 AM

Serenity, shhh! Don't you remember it was my invisible gunshot Kaylee outfit? Nobody could see me!

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005 9:42 AM

Update aforementioned boy just shredded what we had over the 'friendship' thing. Buddy status has been returned. Go me.

So if any nice or decent or anything guys wanna come out of the cave and console me, I promise I'll pine after you until you shut me down... ;(

BTW: Just to prove I am not a horrific beastie: Okay there was a link to a photo here, but it just keeps trying to show a photo!

I think we should start a Whedon/Firefly Dating service. Maybe that would work...

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
http://pluraplofapocalypse.blogspot.com
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Inara: "Do aliens live among us?"
Kaylee: "Yes. One of them's a doctor."

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005 9:47 AM

Quote:
I think we should start a Whedon/Firefly Dating service. Maybe that would work...

Now that's a brilliant plan!

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005 10:59 AM

Oye! A dating service???

BlackeyedGirl(tee hee, just realized the initials of BlackEyedGirl spell BEG )How does a picture prove you're not a horrific beastie? Just cuz you may not look like one...

oh, and try posting a link with a space before the .jpg or whatever at the end. Then we can copy, paste, delete space and see picture.

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny

I have a live journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/callmeserenity/

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005 12:30 PM

THATWEIRDGIRL

Did someone say Dating Service?

You know who has a lot of nice-geeky-sci-fi-witty-guy traffic to her site? i do. Maybe we could set up some kind of personals thing for the lovelies here....a way for nice gals to meet nice guys.

*will look into this*

And Mai? The tree is full of incredibly wonderful nice guys. There's not a one i wouldn't ask out on a date if I were in the situation to ask someone out on a date. Radom is another good thread for great men.

www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
"...turn right at the corner then skip two blocks...no, SKIP, the hopping-like thing kids do...Why? Why not?"

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005 12:59 PM

QUEENOFTHENORTH

This is fascinating. Anyway....

The queen is looking for her king and would like to know where he's hiding out. If anyone knows, I will pay them money (LOL).

And as for that "he's probably already in your life" thing: I have NO men in my life, nice or otherwise, that aren't closely related to me or really out of the age range. This is my problem and how sad my love life is. Sigh. I'm going to go be depressed now and work my aggression out at the gym.

P.S. Firefly dating service probably good idea.

~~~~
You won't be needing this.

*rips heart out, throws it in garbage*

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005 8:35 PM

TWG, I know the tree guys are exceptionally great when it comes to the niceness factor. (and even sweeter IRL, but dont let 'em know I said that I don't want it to go to their heads). The problem being they live in the tree (ie very far from me )and are'nt exactly accessible IRL.

Which is why the whole invent a portal to get to the nice guys thing kinda started. I need an IRL nice guy too.

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Thursday, October 27, 2005 3:19 AM

Yes, this whole thread started because we had a chatroom discussion about the lack of accessible nice guys in our respective areas so we decided to go on a road trip to go find them and then it was discovered that they may mostly be hiding out in Sweden so we needed a portal to get there (portals are quicker than flying) but first we needed someone to invent a portal, which meant we needed money to hire inventors which meant we needed an investor. Or two.

So the problem isn't really finding the nice guys (I know many) it's getting to them.

BTW, anyone seeing 10 Things I Hate About You? "What's an investor?" "A person with money who's stupid."

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny

I have a live journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/callmeserenity/

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Thursday, October 27, 2005 5:41 AM

CallMeSerenity:

Sweden? Shit! That makes so much sense! It's probably a cave in Sweden. Gorram it, if only we had a friend with a private jet to take us there. Cos even if we don't find them we could head to Amsterdam and look at (and be creeped out by) boy whores! Who I also wonder if serve women folk.

Why don't we know more physicists? Damnit!!

Maybe we should call the dating service "The Portal". Yeah that would work...

I think you guys hit the nail on the head when you said 'accessible' guys, cos that's the real trouble, they aren't accessible!!

-BEG (which is something I am prepared to do, hehe)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
http://pluraplofapocalypse.blogspot.com
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Inara: "Do aliens live among us?"
Kaylee: "Yes. One of them's a doctor."

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Thursday, October 27, 2005 8:43 AM

CYBERSNARK

Quote:
Originally posted by BlackEyedGirl:
I think we should start a Whedon/Firefly Dating service. Maybe that would work...

"It insults me that people take my work seriously. I just wanted to meet chicks." --Joss Whedon

-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

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Thursday, October 27, 2005 12:06 PM

LFO

I've been lurking here for a few weeks (since my girlfriend got me to see this sci-fi movie at the theatre that her choir director recommended...and then told me it was based on a show as the credits rolled ;)

This thread is the most interesting I think I've ever seen online, so I finally bothered to register in the interest of keeping it active.

I'd like to quote a post I read here yesterday, but I can't find it with quick visual scan, so I'll paraphrase:
"'Nice' guys are friends with girls b/c they're hoping it will eventually lead to dating"

I've done that - I did that for two years, being more of a nice guy than I naturally am (though I think I'm still in that category), but I don't think it's fair to generalize it. I've been in a relationship for over two years now, and I'm quite happy in it. Two of my closest friends are still my friend-girls, whom I was friends with during the unhappy, overly-nice guy period. I think that, under different circumstances, I would have been happy to give dating either of them a chance (good friends and good partners share a lot of traits), but that's certainly never been my motive for friendship.

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Thursday, October 27, 2005 12:49 PM

Quote:
BlackEyedGirl wrote:
I think you guys hit the nail on the head when you said 'accessible' guys, cos that's the real trouble, they aren't accessible!!

Yes, I am rather inaccessible, it's like I have a firewall around me and I'm blocking all the wrong ports ;D coupled with a faulty i/o system

---
inch towards daylight

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Thursday, October 27, 2005 7:05 PM

Well its nice to know that some are lucky enough to get the nice guys. I have to agree, friends first then worry about what comes next.

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Friday, October 28, 2005 4:30 AM

XEROGRAVITY

Alright damnit. I said I wouldn't take the bait but this discussion is aggravating. I'll tell you the truth of what men are thinking. This is what we want in a woman...

FIRST:

You have to have the body and good looks of a Heather Locklear, but the heart and general virtuosity of Mother Teresa. We need you to be honest, loyal, and damn-near as devoted as a good horse or dog. However, you also gotta be gorgeous. Can't envision a lifetime of wakin up next to a buttugly woman. Slap some makeup on that face for christ's sake. Or at least have the good sense to dim the lights (or get us drunk) if you get nekkid.

SECOND:

You have to laugh at our cheesy jokes (but not mock our shortcomings). You also have to have Einsteinian brainpower, but just don't be smarter than us. If you are, be smart enough to pretend you aren't.

THIRD:

Learn to hunt. Learn to fish. Learn to tear apart an engine (automobile, boat, or otherwise), learn fierce loyalty (for better or worse, till death do you part). Do those things and mankind will put you on a pedestal. Any man who eats meat but condemns hunting and fishing is a hipocrite. Vegetarians get a free pass on this one. Any man who is afraid to get a lil grease on his fingers... well, u figure it out.

FINALLY:

Don't forget... all men love a warrior woman unless she resembles a vikinglike shebeast akin to Rosie O'Donnell. Or the equally hideous monstrosities Barbara Streisand, Condoleeza Rice, Madeleine Albright, etc. Could go on and on. Lot of women out their being touted as icons of what men desire. Popular hollywood culture may hold them up as some ideal of beautiful women, but to we men (most of us) they are nothing more than shrieking physically grotesque man-haters. Our Ideal is the Valkyrie. Strong, beautiful, proud. Loyal to a fault.

Sorry... the sensitive pony-tail guy who can manhandle a barroom full of bikers defending your honor only exists in Steven Seagal films.

That's my view.

XG

No such thing as gravity. The "Earth-that-was" just sucks.

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Friday, October 28, 2005 4:38 AM

XEROGRAVITY

PS ~ for Christ's sake learn to cook too... most woman can't cook period. Nothing is more disgusting to a man then a TV dinner woman. Hell, that's why most men are becoming gourmet chefs in their own right.

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Friday, October 28, 2005 5:36 AM

ARAWAEN

Quote:
Originally posted by mai:

I agree hottness has nothing to do with niceness. Self confidence, and also on the top of that list is sense of humor (the ability to act silly at any given moment is very attractive)oh and a bit of nerdiness is nice too.

Quote:
A guy may be hotter than Sean Maher (is it possible?)

No, it's completely impossible

This is why the nice guy thing is a red herring. Nice is not the same thing as having qualities you like. This is why nice guys get bitter all these women saying they can't find nice guys are really saying they can't find guys with qualities they want.

A nice guy treats people nicely, not just the woman in question, but all people. His level of self-confidence, sense of humor, attractiveness, etc. are all independent traits.

I subscribe to the passage from the Music Man (substituting woman for man and eliminating the Iowa requirement of course).

ALL I WANT IS A PLAIN MAN, ALL I WANT IS A MODEST MAN
A QUIET MAN, A GENTLE MAN, A STRAIGHT FORWARD AND HONEST MAN
TO SIT WITH ME IN A COTTAGE SOMEWHERE IN THE STATE OF IOWA
AND I WOULD LIKE HIM TO BE MORE INTERESTED IN ME THAN HE IS IN HIMSELF AN MORE INTERESTED IN US THAN IN ME. AND IF OCCASIONALLY HE'D PONDER, WHAT MAKES SHAKESPEARE AND BEETHOVEN GREAT. HIM I COULD LOVE TILL I DIE, HIM I COULD LOVE TILL I DIE.

Knowledge is sorrow; they who know the most
Must mourn the deepest o'er the fatal truth,
The Tree of Knowledge is not that of Life.
-- Byron

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Friday, October 28, 2005 9:45 AM

LFO

I think the following slice from Much Ado About Nothing has a place on this thread:

BEATRICE
Good Lord, for alliance! Thus goes every one to the
world but I, and I am sunburnt; I may sit in a
corner and cry heigh-ho for a husband!

DON PEDRO
Lady Beatrice, I will get you one.

BEATRICE
I would rather have one of your father's getting.
Hath your grace ne'er a brother like you? Your
father got excellent husbands, if a maid could come by them.

DON PEDRO
Will you have me, lady?

BEATRICE
No, my lord, unless I might have another for
working-days: your grace is too costly to wear
every day. But, I beseech your grace, pardon me: I
was born to speak all mirth and no matter.

If nothing else, the problem is an old one. But, hey, its got a happy ending! And I, for one, strongly object to trying to get people married off by 30.

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Friday, October 28, 2005 10:22 AM

Thank you LFO, for the laugh!!

Maybe we can switch the topic now to all the nice fff.net guys we know and how great they are. There are so many...

(feeling magnanimous today.)

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny

I have a live journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/callmeserenity/

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Friday, October 28, 2005 10:23 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by XeroGravity:
PS ~ for Christ's sake learn to cook too... most woman can't cook period. Nothing is more disgusting to a man then a TV dinner woman. Hell, that's why most men are becoming gourmet chefs in their own right.

XG-I'm a Valkyrie. And I'm a great cook. 'Course, I might just as well kill you as kiss you. It's a gamble with us warrior women.

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny

I have a live journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/callmeserenity/

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Friday, October 28, 2005 10:33 AM

SAFEAT2ND

I would imagine some are easy to kill than others.

Like...I don't know...maybe the ones than need a woman to cook for them, clean for them, and to do their laundry, while they sit around, scratch their bellies and watch sports on TV. They are soft indeed.

I would rather play sports than watch them, and my wife is not my trophy nor my slave.

Safeat2nd, Chief Handyman of Destiny

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Friday, October 28, 2005 11:03 AM

See? That's why you are NICE.

Pefect example.

'Cept, technically, being married, you don't count.

But you're still nice.

Serenity, First Officer of Destiny

I have a live journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/callmeserenity/

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Friday, October 28, 2005 11:18 AM

Ha, it seems I'm always the one to clean and cook, etc. (though I still don't know how to cook much aside from the basics). Maybe it's my luck. Where are the nice girls ;D

/me runs off in search of a portal

---
inch towards daylight

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Friday, October 28, 2005 3:00 PM