Too cute! Found at the Firefly board at the IMDB by ayrad

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Too cute! Found at the Firefly board at the IMDB

POSTED BY: AYRAD
UPDATED: Thursday, February 17, 2011 20:55
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 63207
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Friday, February 3, 2006 3:43 AM

And, finally, a word from our plucky hero himself:

Chicken: Go HWONG-TONG! :)

"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam.

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Friday, February 3, 2006 4:06 AM

KNIBBLET

Quote:
Originally posted by Barclay:
Ruby (Safe):

YOU OWE ME A KEYBOARD !!!

http://tv.groups.yahoo.com/group/MN-Firefly/ Big Damn Shindigity Good Time
http://www.fireflytalk.com - Big Damn Podcast

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Friday, February 3, 2006 4:27 AM

ANDRE83

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Niska:If it didnt its only gossip, and chicken, not so solid

River: .......we'll have to call it early quantum physics phenomenon.

Jayne: its in congress?

Simon: eh...I....i'm not......you.....oh.....a....sh.....k....

Inara: Words cannot describe it. Its like an ocean of light.

Jayne: All those years of preacher training, getting knocked out by one bounty hunter
Book: Oh, dont get me wrong. I gave him a hell of a fight
Jayne: Epic i'm guessing

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Friday, February 3, 2006 5:10 AM

ROBYN12

Excellent but you forgot Badger's reply...

Big Damn Netherflan
http://browncoats.ma.cx/

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Friday, February 3, 2006 5:33 AM

OLAFSOLSTRAND

The trubadur of Canton:

"Now, here is what seperates chickens
From commonfolk like you and I!
Chick stood up to that toad
He crossed over the road
To get to the other side!"

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Friday, February 3, 2006 6:06 AM

ASARIAN

Young River: This whole conclusion is fallacious.

"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam.

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Friday, February 3, 2006 6:41 AM

PSYCHICRIVER

LOL that's great!

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."

"We'll take care of each other. I'll knit!"
"I swallowed a bug."

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Friday, February 3, 2006 6:54 AM

STEVETHEPIRATE

Why did the chicken cross the road?

CROW: There is no chicken.

----------------------------------------------
"MY APOCALYPTIC TENOR HAS NOT BEEN DISPELLED!" - T-Rex ( www.qwantz.com)

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Friday, February 3, 2006 9:16 AM

LEXIGEEK

Quote:
Originally posted by TheCollector:
Now we need to return fire with a

"How many/does *blank* Screw in a lightbulb"

How many Josses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. He gets a beautiful young girl to do it with her super powers.

--
"Everyone needs something to keep them going. Mal has his ship. Zoe has her integrity. Jayne has Vera. And I've got you guys." Joss Whedon on his fans

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Friday, February 3, 2006 9:36 AM

JAYRO

Quote:
Originally posted by Barclay:
More chickens

Ruby (Safe):

LMAO. That's freakin' genius!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Alliance ads: Because crossing the road is MANDATORY.

Magistrate Higgins: My son's out there... I pray to God, losing his chicken.

Reaver: Anyone got any spicy zinger sauce?

-------------------

"This chicken could get pretty interesting."
"Define interesting."
"Oh God, oh God, we're all going to die?"

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Friday, February 3, 2006 11:18 AM

JRC

One chicken to another:
"Did a gorram feather just fly off my butt???!!!"

Everyone dies alone.

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Friday, February 3, 2006 11:22 AM

ASARIAN

Chicken revisited:

Wash: Chicken's come home to roost.

Chicken: This is a good death.

Operative: I'm impressed that he would cross the road himself, and that he would make it this far, in that outfit.

"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam.

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Friday, February 3, 2006 11:31 AM

DOG13000

Taste like Chickens:

Mal: Well, they tell ya, never laugh at a Chicken Crossing a Road, but it is on occasion hilarious.

Kaylee: Up until the chicken, it was a real nice party.

Wash: Yeah, we should start dealing in those black-market chickens.

River: He's lost... lost in the woods.

Wash: Look at that grace! He's like a leaf on the wi-(car!)

River: Two by Two, Beaks of Blue..

"Someone Tries to Kill You, You Try and Kill Em' Right Back"

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Friday, February 3, 2006 12:02 PM

ASARIAN

Quote:
Originally posted by asarian:
And, finally, a word from our plucky hero himself:

Chicken: Go HWONG-TONG! :)

Operative: He isn't the plucky hero. That road is not the grand arena.
Inara: And that's not chicken.

"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam.

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Friday, February 3, 2006 2:38 PM

EIRE

River: That's not a chicken.
Zoe: Sir, I think we need to lock her in the closet again...
Jayne: Should I get the grenades?
Mal: That is clearly a chicken and there will be no big bangs when all we have to is wait for the gorram chicken to get across...
Kaylee: Should we be helping the chicken?
Wash: Do we care? I mean, are we caring about the chicken *look from River*--er--clearly debatable moving object?
Simon: River, I am 100% positive, statistically speaking, that it's a chicken.
River: There is no such thing as being 100% accurate in statistics. The highest level of power in statistics is p>.01.
Jayne: We're on....a different level?
Wash: Why are we caring so much about a chicken?
Mal: This is my gorram ship and we are not going to stand here for a gorram hour debating over a gorram chicken! Look! It's already on the other side of the road! Are we shiny??
Badger: *BANG* Not anymore it isn't.
River: ....that wasn't a chicken....

One day I will be like River...one day far, far, far from now...and maybe in a different dimension...with cats...

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Friday, February 3, 2006 2:58 PM

GUTTERBALL

Quote:
Originally posted by Jayro:
Magistrate Higgins: My son's out there... I pray to God, losing his chicken.

Oh, God! *falls over laughing* That one caught me SO by surprise! Priceless!

________________________________________

Please remember that the 9:30 show is completely different from the 7:30 show. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

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Friday, February 3, 2006 4:24 PM

CAPNZOE

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
Okay, I'm sure there will be better but... (oh and spoilers for Serenity within)

How many Washs does it take to change a light bulb?
One but he dies three quarters of the way through so that you are genuinely afraid for the other characters when they change the bulb.

How many Jaynes does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to try to put it in and another to find a bigger hammer.

How many Books does it take to change a light bulb?
"You know, God said 'Let there be light' but I think true change has to come from within."

How many Kaylees does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change the bulb and another to say "Shiny!"

How many Simons does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to clean the new bulb, another to change the bulb and a final one to worry about River having eaten the old bulb in the first place.

How many Inaras does it take to change a light bulb?
None, she's used to working in the dark.

How many Mals does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change the bulb and another to tease Inara about it being red.

How many Rivers does it take to change a light bulb?
"I ate a bulb."

How many Zoes does it take to change a light bulb?
One.

Brilliant. The one about Inara is a personal fave. *grovels at feet* You're just plain brilliant!!!

You paid money for this sir? On purpose?

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 7:01 AM

FIREFLOOZYSUZIE

MATT!! We miss you. Are you going to Serenity 3?
How's your life? Are you rich and famous yet?
We're off to California in a couple of weeks and I'm wondering how you liked YOUR trip there??

Oh, and to contribute to ongoing chicken discussion:

Zoe: The chicken didn't look careful. Got hit by a mule. She's torn up plenty, but she'll fly true...

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 7:24 AM

KEVAR

The browncoats: Our gorram chicken got hit by a FOX news truck and didn't MAKE it to the other side of the road.

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 7:51 AM

ZIPPLY

www.cantstopthechicken.com

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 10:18 AM

SABRE

Quote:
Operative: He isn't the plucky hero. That road is not the grand arena.
Inara: And that's not chicken.

Operative: He isn't the clucky hero. That road is not the grand arena.
Inara: And that's not a chicken.

"Jayne! Try not to steal too much of their shit!"

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 10:28 AM

CYBERSNARK

Quote:
Originally posted by dog13000:
Wash: Look at that grace! He's like a leaf on the wi-(car!)

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 11:24 AM

ASARIAN

Just keep walking, chicken-man! ...

Mal: Advice from an old tracker. You want to find someone, cross the road.

Chicken: Been off the road for a spell. Like to walk it a while.

Book: When I talk about the road, why do you always assume I'm talking about God?

River: ... Squish!

Book: How it got there is the worthier part.

"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam.

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 3:18 PM

FIREFLOOZYSUZIE

Quote:
Originally posted by asarian:

Just keep walking, chicken-man! ...

Mal: Advice from an old tracker. You want to find someone, cross the road.

Chicken: Been off the road for a spell. Like to walk it a while.

Book: When I talk about the road, why do you always assume I'm talking about God?

River: ... Squish!

Book: How it got there is the worthier part.

"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam.

OH TOO FUNNY. Someday I want to be a comic genius like you.

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 3:57 PM

GIXXER

Chicken / road?

You have no idea. And you never will.

It'd been wanting to cross the road from the moment it showed you its guns.

There was some kind of hot cheese over there.

So is it still a road after it's been crossed? Does the road, the thing, have purpose? Or does the chicken -- what's the word?

Hell, I don't know. If I'd wanted to know that, I'da gone to school.

G

Imbue

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 4:07 PM

FIREFLOOZYSUZIE

Why did the prairie chicken cross the road?

They had boy whores! How thoughtful.

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 10:38 PM

ASARIAN

Some chicken feed:

Pupil: chickens aren't real.

River: Ask her!

Simon: Eta kuram na smekh!

"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam.

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Sunday, February 5, 2006 1:58 AM

CANTONHEROINE

Okay, this is officially the funniest thread in FFF.net history... I am seriously CRYING from lauging so hard.
Thank you. I needed that.

-----
"Now somethin' about that is just downright unsettlin'."

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Sunday, February 5, 2006 3:03 AM

IAMJACKSUSERNAME

Well, I'm all right. - Mal

Love asarian's teacher, Operative/Inara, and chicken.

Mal: No, a bad day is when someone's yellin' spooks the chickens. Understand? You ever see chickens stampede when they got no place to run?

River: They weren't chickens this side. They were waiting to be, but they forgot. Now they see the road, and they remember what they are.
--
I am Jack's username
Mulder: How many chickens have to cross the road before you will believe?!

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Sunday, February 5, 2006 3:24 AM

ASARIAN

What's with these chickens? They never lie down! :)

Joss: To get to the Easter egg on the other side.

Mal: They tell you never to hit the road, but it's on occasion hilarious.

Chicken: My turn!

Inara: It's a mutually beneficial business arrangement. The chicken crosses the road, which allows it to expand its client base, and the road finds that having a chicken cross opens doors to certain jokes that might otherwise be closed to it.

"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam.

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Sunday, February 5, 2006 4:04 AM

ZIPPLY

(Road, speaking to Chicken on their wedding night):

"I swell to think of you on me."

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Sunday, February 5, 2006 6:46 AM

SHINYSEVEN2

I'm not worthy, but...

MAL: Kaylee, get the chicken. We need a hood ornament.

And...number of Fox execs it takes to change a lightbulb: none, they canceled the socket.

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Sunday, February 5, 2006 8:29 AM

BLACKEYEDGIRL

Nandi: Because it intended to sin, and needed to make a long, slow confession.

Reaver: Grrr Argle Burgle Grr!!! alternately: Because it wanted to sew the skins of other chickens into it's own.

Joss: Because he crossed the road less traveled on, and they cancelled his frikkin' show!!!

Two By Two with Hands of Blue: ::zaps chicken with pen that causes chicken to bleed to death::

Dobson: Because it waved everything to the Alliance, including how many nosehairs you have.

Sir Warrick Harrow: Because it wanted a fancy sash.

These are so much fun!!!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
http://pluralofapocalypse.blogspot.com
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Inara: "Do aliens live among us?"
Kaylee: "Yes. One of them's a doctor."

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Sunday, February 5, 2006 10:27 AM

DOG13000

Joss: Will I ever tell the Chicken's Backstory? You'll just have to wait and see...

(...even though the show is cancelled, and I don't know exactly what your waiting for...)

Wash: (repeat) Look at that grace! He's like a leaf on the wi-(car!)

"Someone Tries to Kill You, You Try and Kill Em' Right Back"

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Sunday, February 5, 2006 11:26 AM

GUTTERBALL

Quote:
Originally posted by asarian:
Inara: It's a mutually beneficial business arrangement. The chicken crosses the road, which allows it to expand its client base, and the road finds that having a chicken cross opens doors to certain jokes that might otherwise be closed to it.

HA! That was priceless!

Personally, I am of the opinion that the chicken crossed the road because Jayne tried to eat it, Mal and Zoe inundated it with war stories, Wash threatened it with a plastic T-rex, Kaylee wanted to hug it to death, Inara told her she chose it very carefully from a long list of prospective chickens, Simon couldn't think of anything more flattering to say than that it was the only fresh food on the ship, Book tried to explain to it why only two chickens were allowed on Noah's ark, and River told it she could turn it into a crispy-fried dinner with her brain.

________________________________________

Please remember that the 9:30 show is completely different from the 7:30 show. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

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Sunday, February 5, 2006 12:17 PM

SAMEERTIA

Omigod, this thread is priceless.

Joss must just think we're sick puppies, but since he's the one who brought the chicken to the party in the first place, he can't blame us!

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Sunday, February 5, 2006 12:53 PM

BURNANDBOIL

This thread is so funny, I'm so glad I clicked on it!

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Sunday, February 5, 2006 1:41 PM

GRAYALBATROSS

Hwaaa ha hhaaaa!

; (Rolls on ground laughing uncontrollably) SHINY, Shiny, shiny,...

The Seedak Comend you, Hom-dichons, all around!
And also Lord Garfunkle the Hamster King sends his personal approval.
Let me try

Simon: I don't know... I'll have to run some tests first

River: (runs and catches the chicken, stares at it) Contradictions, false logistics... it doesn't make sense.

Mal: Was it space monkeys? It was maybe running from some terrifying space monkeys that got loose?

Jayne: You dumbass hogs, the only people crossing the road are us on this boat!

Zoe: Does the chicken have a problem with its brain being missing?!! (Crossing the road is totally dangerous for a chicken)

Wash:It was trying to reach This Land.

Kaylee: How do you know it didn't just want to see the other side? Sometimes chickens have feelings you know. And I am referring here to chickens.

Inara: I know this chicken. He has this warped sense of honor... He thinks he's this tough, hardened chicken, and he can be unrelenting, but...

Book: I don't care what crosses the road... Just cross the road!

***
When in doubt, consult the hamster.

Also, I can kill you with my brain

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Sunday, February 5, 2006 2:19 PM

JADEHAND

MURPHY:

Why Mrs. Chicken, what a vision you
are in those fine feathers. Must have
taken a dozen hens a dozen days
just to get you into that get-up.
'Course your daddy tells me it takes
the space of a Col. Sanders wink to
get you out of 'em again.

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Monday, February 6, 2006 4:09 PM

JADEHAND

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Tuesday, February 7, 2006 6:50 PM

MUFFINMANISTHESKIES

Nestor (the original mechanic): Hmm...I've never been called a chicken before. Shiny!

Mal: Well I seem to remember the chicken actually crossed the road. Yes I have heard a joke before. Don't faint.

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Tuesday, February 7, 2006 6:50 PM

MUFFINMANISTHESKIES

Nestor (the original mechanic): Hmm...I've never been called a chicken before. Shiny!

Mal: Well I seem to remember the chicken actually crossed the road. Yes I have heard a joke before. Don't faint.

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Tuesday, February 7, 2006 9:13 PM

ASARIAN

Okay, this chicken's clearly running on its last legs. :) You gotta pitch in here, guys.

Inara: Should I start with the part where it's stranded in the middle, or the part where it has no clothes?

Mal: Chickens always do. That's what makes em special.

River: ... He looks better in red.

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam.

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Wednesday, February 8, 2006 4:51 AM

JADEHAND

ENSIGN
It's a carrier, blew out a few months
back. No survivors, but it was only
run by a skeleton chicken anyway.

CAPTAIN
Damn shame. No point in checking for
Chickens...?

MAN
You going on a trip, Chicken? Need
safe passage? We're cheap, we're
cheap and clean, The BRUTUS is the
best ship in the 'verse. What's your
des, chicken, we're hitting the other side of the road--

Visit WWW.Marillion.Com for a better way to live
"He's seen too much of life And there's no going back.
The loneliness calls him, And the edge which must be sharpened,
He's losing it. And he knows.
But there's a fighter in his mind and his body's tough
The years have been unkind, but kind enough." -Ocean Cloud (Marbles) -Marillion

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Wednesday, February 8, 2006 6:13 AM

DECKROID

Stitch: You keep me locked up in a box for four years then have the nerve to ask me about a chicken?!?

Used Road Salesman: Now, this here side of the road... you fix her up nice and you'll be crossing her until the day you die.

Well Dressed Man: Listen, Chicken, I came down here to make sure you crossed the road, not to get chopped up by the Canton Cars and left to bleed in the street!

Fess: I sent an override to the crossing signal. Lifted the Do Not Walk for the chicken.

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Wednesday, February 8, 2006 11:43 AM

JPSTARGAZER

Mal: If that chicken crosses the road, I guarantee you'll see something new.

Girl at party: The other side of the road was better last year.
Chicken: Why, what was there last year?
Girl: Standards.

Tracey: You just murdered the chicken.
Mal: No son, it murdered itself.

Mal to chicken: You wanna cross the road?
Chicken: Yeah.
Mal: Well...you can't.

And now for the light bulb jokes:

How many Badgers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to screw it in, but only after bargaining with the second one, who happens to have his hands on a couple...light bulbs.

"All I got is a red guitar, three chords, and the truth...the rest is up to you"
--Bono

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Wednesday, February 8, 2006 6:26 PM

GUTTERBALL

Jayne: *all choked up* Ya'll crossed a road...on account'a me?

Wash: What this marriage needs...is one less CHICKEN. Right now, it's kinda crowded.

River: No chicken in the 'Verse can stop me.

Jubal Early: You know, with the exception of one deadly and unpredictable midget, this chicken is the smallest cargo I've ever had to transport, yet by far the most troublesome.

Ranse Burgess: *evil, satisfied smirk* The chicken...is mine.

________________________________________

Please remember that the 9:30 show is completely different from the 7:30 show. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

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Wednesday, February 8, 2006 6:44 PM

AMYLISAI

Your Reaver lightbulb post made me laugh out loud--rare. No I'm not stalking you, apparently I read the same posts as you tonight. And you have a great sense of humor. This note is my random act of kindness for the day :)
Thanks again!

Amylisai

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Wednesday, February 8, 2006 6:50 PM

AMYLISAI

Thank you for your lightbulb list, SimonWho! It made me laugh with glee. Totally awesome!

Amylisai

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Wednesday, February 8, 2006 7:07 PM

AMYLISAI

ok zipply, the wedding night one just about killed me. It's a good thing I went to college so's that I got hooked on Firefly and understand dirty jokes too. All the effort was worth it haha

Amylisai

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