CAPTION 2 TIGHTPANTS #15 - Oh GO SE! by TenthCrewMember

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

CAPTION 2 TIGHTPANTS #15 - Oh GO SE!

POSTED BY: TENTHCREWMEMBER
UPDATED: Monday, March 6, 2006 14:46
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Wednesday, March 1, 2006 7:52 AM

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

Wow! Last week's voting was ONE vote from a THREE-WAY TIE! (as an aside, being from Cincinnati, 3-ways have meaning besides just sex...it also is a chili dish...sex and chili, that could be fun too!) OH! Back to the game...congrats to last week's winner: JAMESTHEDARK

Here is the rutting hi-larious special goodness sending us all to hell...

Definately a worthy entry from our newest first time winner! And now onto something without kissin, yet just as disturbing...JAYNE!

Mal: Jayne, you do realize we have septic facilities?
Jayne: Yeah, but I just had to go...impressive ain't they?

Okay, you know what to do!

BWAH!
TCM

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Wednesday, March 1, 2006 1:13 PM

SICKDUDE

Captain Tightpants: That is absolutely the last time we carry gorram Tribbles!
Jayne: I just like smacking 'em.

"It's a cow."

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Wednesday, March 1, 2006 1:44 PM

CITIZEN

Mal: Jayne, how many times, you have a toilet in your bunk!

(I wrote that one before really reading the first one in the thread

thought I'd leave it in anyway).

Or

Jayne: I don't get it Mal, all I did was offer to show 'em my swinging cobb...

More later (hopefully)...

More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
You should never give powers to a leader you like that you’d hate to have given to a leader you fear

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Wednesday, March 1, 2006 2:30 PM

REAVERINA1985RIVIERA

Hey, you got the picture-text program thingie working!

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

Jayne: Mind 'xplaining to me why we smuggled a hold full of guinea pigs and not livestock like usual?

Mal:This is a research town, they need test subjects, not cattle. These little critters are worth more than 3 times the money here. Besides, the small-ish droppings were the deciding factor.

Jayne: That much, huh? Hey, would someone tell that moonbrained girl that's valuable cargo, not a toupe!

---------------------------------------------
How many Jaynes does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to try to put it in and another to find a bigger hammer.

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Wednesday, March 1, 2006 2:52 PM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

While Jayne admired his own ability to toss cow chips, Mal was sneaking up behind to give him the mother of all wedgies. Unbeknownst to Mal, Jayne doesn't wear unmentionables...

OR

Upon a wildy slung cowpie smacking the Shepherd in the side of the face...
Jayne: Uhh...MAL DID IT!
Mal: No I didn't! Who's sayin' that?

OR

Jayne: I like smackin' em!
Mal(thinking): Oh GOD! I can't know that!

OR

Jayne: Never much figured the Doc for a "roll in the hay" kinda guy, but Kaylee's bringin' it out in 'im.
Mal: Whoa! What is wrong with her bunk!?!
Jayne: I don't know, but I kinda wish I'd brought popcorn, or an ice planet, or some mudders' milk...especially mudders' milk...

BWAH!
TCM

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Wednesday, March 1, 2006 3:08 PM

TEALCANDTRIP

Unfortunately, some illegal beagles did not survive the journey...

"I also hear that there's something called Firefly, which is either a canceled science-fiction television show or a new religion, I'm not clear on that. Either way, prayers for the resurrection are involved." – Lore Sjoberg

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Wednesday, March 1, 2006 3:42 PM

CHOLLETT

Mal: "Jayne..."
Jayne: "Is that Sore Thumbs over there?"
Mal: "Better go get Vera."
Jayne: "Three fifths of a man...i'll show him three fifths of a man..."

Sorry. Just a little peeved, also since they may or may not have dissed Canada as well.

OR

Jayne: "Is that Saffron over there?"
Mal: "That's a vidcap from last week, dingus."
Jayne: "I'll be in my bunk."

OR

Mal walked onto the drawbridge to find Jayne in the middle of his newest job: Cover model for Cowpies Weekly.

OR

Jayne: "..and they're leaving us a trail of weird smelling rocks WHY?"
Mal: "Treasure hunt, Jayne. Only gonna get the good stuff if we work through the not-so-good. Better get the shovel.

I'm babbling like a moonbrain.

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Wednesday, March 1, 2006 3:58 PM

THEREALME

Jayne: "But think of it, Mal! A straight line o' cow pies, one after the other, all the way to the horizon. That's gotta be some kind of a record or somethin'!"

Mal: "Hell, Jayne, that's just what I call bein' regular!"

TheRealMe, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

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Wednesday, March 1, 2006 4:30 PM

FREELANCEPILOT

Quote:

Jayne: I love the smell of cow shit in the morning... smells like victory!

Wash: Yeah, but psychic? That sounds like science fiction.
Zoë: You live on a spaceship, dear.
Wash: So?

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Wednesday, March 1, 2006 4:43 PM

ASARIAN

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

He; I thought for sure "kaylee's little friend" one would win the other round. :) But, on to this one:

Jayne: "Dino...droppings, droppings?"
Zoe (OS): "Stop it, Jayne, you're scaring the women!"

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

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Wednesday, March 1, 2006 4:58 PM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

Quote:
I thought for sure "kaylee's little friend" one would win the other round. :) But, on to this one:

Missed it by ONE vote. Just the way it goes sometimes. Heck, I run the game, and 7 out of 10 times, the one *I* think is funniest doesn't win. Shows what I know! LOL!

Anyway, back to the hi-larity!

Jayne: I know she's a moonbrain, Mal, but I can't stop watching her eat these mudpies.
Mal: They're cowpies, Jay--did you say EATING?!
Jayne: Di-sgusting!...still, I can't seem to just turn away...

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Wednesday, March 1, 2006 9:37 PM

FLORALBUNNY

Once again, Jayne's special farewell scares the cr*p out of the departing passengers.

bun
-- bastards singed my turtle --
----- why's the rum gone? -----

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Thursday, March 2, 2006 12:32 AM

ANOBJECTINSPACE

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

Jayne: Hey Mal if I stand like this, Do I look more Hero Like?

or

Jayne: Reck'n if they see me standin they'll sing me another song?

or

It was at that time Mal realised why Jayne was only given 7%.

or

In an attempt to discourage the stealing of protein blocks the Alliance replaced every fifth container with animal grade Laxitives.

.....
"It's just an Object"

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Thursday, March 2, 2006 12:41 AM

MANTICHORUS

MAL: "Jayne...what're all these for?"
JAYNE: "Well, Mal, you know how everyone says our ship's a flying heap of go-se...?"

OR

SIMON (O/S): "OK, River, this figure of Mal is small... that one is far away."

OR

JAYNE: "Hey, Mal! There's a nekkid guy over there, and he wants my clothes and the mule!"
MAL: "Ruttin' backbirth Terminators!"

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Thursday, March 2, 2006 1:16 AM

JAMESTHEDARK

Jayne: And what exactly are we gonna find here wit' the worth of a turd?
Mal: Look down.

--------------
I ain't lookin' for help from on high. That's a damn long wait for a train don't come.

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Thursday, March 2, 2006 5:01 AM

JAYNESBUNKWOMAN

Quote:
Originally posted by Mantichorus:

Jayne: Them there black market beagles sure know how to lay a turd!

I'll be in Jaynes bunk

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Thursday, March 2, 2006 5:32 AM

THESOAPBOXER

JAYNE: (singing) "Oh, what a beautiful morning! Oh, what a beautiful day!"

_____________________________________________
Could you please just make it stranger? Just stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?
~Joss Whedon

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Thursday, March 2, 2006 6:10 AM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

Jayne: Cap'n, do you smell crap?
Mal: It's layin' right there.
Jayne: I'm definately smellin' crap.
Mal: That's because it's layin' right there!

OR

Jayne: I'm smellin' alot of "if" comin' off this plan.
Mal: That ain't "if" yer smellin'...

OR

Jayne: Somebody oughta tell that moonbrained girl that puddin' is for eatin', not for decoration.

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Thursday, March 2, 2006 7:54 AM

1TOSMILE

..JAYNE!

Jayne: I am king, KING of the 'Verse.....

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Thursday, March 2, 2006 10:35 AM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

Jayne: Time for some thrillin' her--*brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaap!*--oics.
Mal: Dear Buddha! Da xiang bao zha shi de la du zi!!*

*The explosive diarrhea of an elephant

OR

Mal: Never again with cows...
Jayne(thinkin'): Oh lord, he saw me with the cattle...okay, Jayne, just act cool, pretend you didn't hear him, look stoic, think of something witty...uh..ummm...
Jayne: I like smackin' 'em!
Jayne(thinkin'): Gorrammit! Now he'll know for sure! Steady Jayne, steeaaadyy...
Mal: Someone mention something about beagles?
Jayne(thinkin'): Oh ruttin' hell, he's on to my next big plan for gettin' sexed...

OR

Mal: See Jayne? I told you eatin' all them protien supplements would play havoc with your guts...
Jayne: I just can't help myself...UH OH! Here come more brownies!

OR

Mal: I seen all kinds of horrific durin' the war, but this has got them all beat! Tell me, Jayne, is there anywhere on this boat you ain't marked territory?
Jayne: Ummm...seein' as I just marked your bunk, nope!
*Mal stops dead in his tracks*

OR

Mal: Good work, Jayne! I don't think we'll ever have to worry about a Yosaff or a Jubel Early bording us now. Hell, even I want off my boat.
Jayne: Eggs. That's the trick to makin' 'em reaaal ripe. Livin' legend needs more eggs...

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Thursday, March 2, 2006 10:45 AM

ASARIAN

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

Jayne: Mal, why ain't that moonbrained girl comin'?
Mal: River? Please, why don't you come on out.
River (OS): No. Can't. Too much go-se.

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

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Thursday, March 2, 2006 2:53 PM

CUNNINGORANGETOQUE

MAL:"Jayne, i think you stepped in something...you're leaving a mighty large trail..."

OR
(blooper reference)
ZOE(os):"We need to...$hit...right now!"

MAL:"Looks like Jayne's a step ahead of you..."

OR

JAYNE(thinking):"If i pretend it isn't there, maybe Mal won't make me clean it up...."

OR

JAYNE:"I am a dropping on the deck!Watch how i stink!"

MAL:"No arguments here..."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Creator of "THE OTHER SHINY CAPTION GAME"!
www.livejournal.com/users/the_zeppo01
Time for some thrilling heroics!
poor_noel2@hotmail.com

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Thursday, March 2, 2006 2:56 PM

CUNNINGORANGETOQUE

JAYNE:"Remind me Cap'n, what are we looking for here that equals the worth of a turd?!?!"

MAL:"That's what we're here for Jayne....Turds."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Creator of "THE OTHER SHINY CAPTION GAME"!
www.livejournal.com/users/the_zeppo01
Time for some thrilling heroics!
poor_noel2@hotmail.com

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Thursday, March 2, 2006 3:25 PM

GUTTERBALL

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:
Jayne: Cap'n, do you smell crap?
Mal: It's layin' right there.
Jayne: I'm definately smellin' crap.
Mal: That's because it's layin' right there!

OR

Jayne: I'm smellin' alot of "if" comin' off this plan.
Mal: That ain't "if" yer smellin'...

Bwahahahah! Great stuff!

Damn, I'd come up with something, but most of the funny ones seem to have been taken....

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Thursday, March 2, 2006 5:19 PM

WILDIGSTART

Jayne: You're a real comedian.
Mal: Well they call me the Joker.
Jayne: Well I got a joke for you. I'm gonna tear you a new a$$hole.
Mal: Well pilgrim, only after you eat the peanuts out of my $@!#.
Jayne: You talk the talk. Do you walk the walk?

Saw this pic and I just had to revisit Animal Mother.

You see? She's not a junkie or mentally ill, she's gifted!--Momma Roxy

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Thursday, March 2, 2006 6:16 PM

EARLYWARNING

Jayne : So now were a dump truck !
Mal : yeh,yeh,....yeh.

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Thursday, March 2, 2006 10:07 PM

FLORALBUNNY

Jayne (dreamily): They weren't pies inside. They wanted to be, but they forgot. Now they see the sky and remember what they are.

bun
-- bastards singed my turtle --
----- why's the rum gone? -----

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Friday, March 3, 2006 5:26 AM

MANTICHORUS

Jayne was completely unaware that the Critters were creeping up behind him....Mal was just ignoring them.

OR

JAYNE: "GO! Be free!!!"
MAL: "Note to self: don't tell Jayne where the meat pies are after he's been at the Mudder's Milk..."

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Friday, March 3, 2006 8:20 AM

SICKDUDE

Quote:
Originally posted by FloralBunny:
Jayne (dreamily): They weren't pies inside. They wanted to be, but they forgot. Now they see the sky and remember what they are.

LMAO!!

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Friday, March 3, 2006 9:47 AM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

Jayne: Tell me again why we're sneakin' Moon Pies past the Alliance?
Mal: I wondered the same thing my own self...

OR

Mal: *SCHPLORP!* AI YA! The next time I see Monty, I swear--no wonder he was so eager to transfer this cargo.
Jayne: Yeah, who woulda thunk BlueSun Fertilizer was actually just piles of crap?

OR

Jayne: Sweet mother of Buddha! Is that Inara sunbathing over yonder?
Mal: No, that's Shepherd Book.
Jayne: I suddenly have an uncomfortableness.

(see how I am ignoring the poo? I think I've grown )

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Friday, March 3, 2006 10:05 AM

RIVERSONG

Jayne: Uh, Cap'n? Know what's worse than off-loading a cargo of cattle?
Mal: No, Jayne, what?
Jayne: Seeing that same herd stampede back at us after being spooked by the mule!!!

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Friday, March 3, 2006 8:22 PM

FLORALBUNNY

Mal: Jayne! Try not to steal too much of their sh*t!

bun
-- bastards singed my turtle --
----- why's the rum gone? -----

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Friday, March 3, 2006 8:32 PM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

a nod to the song Cows with Guns
http://www.3dweb.no/galleri/stuestolbm/bilder/anim1.swf

Jayne: Hey, Cap'n, cows don't know how to shoot guns, right?
Mal: Uh, right. Mind tellin' me why you're askin'?
Jayne: Maybe somebody ought tell them that...I think they just got Shepherd, and are headin' this way.

OR (a nod to Kung Pow)

Jayne: Some guy in his pajamas is up on that ridge goin' all Jackie Chan with some cow.
Mal: Huh.

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Saturday, March 4, 2006 12:47 AM

CITIZEN

Jayne: Sooo, you defeat my cooww...

More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
You should never give powers to a leader you like that you’d hate to have given to a leader you fear

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Saturday, March 4, 2006 1:24 PM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

continuing the Kung Pow crossovers...

Mal: Jayne, what in the sphincter o--
Jayne: My name is no longer Jayne. From now on, you will call me...BETTY!
Mal: But isn't Betty a girl's name?

OR

Jayne: How do you like my crap-to-floor style?
Mal: I'm sure it is quite effective on whatever world you are from, but your mistake is: This is Earth-that-was.

OR

Jayne(echoing): Hellooo? E-evil council?
Mal: Hi, Jayne.
Jayne: Uh...err...hey, Mal!
Mal(looks Jayne up & down): Umm...are you in congress now? *grins*

OR OR OR...I'm starting to work too hard at this...LOL!

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Saturday, March 4, 2006 8:01 PM

GUTTERBALL

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:
Mal: Jayne, what in the sphincter o--
Jayne: My name is no longer Jayne. From now on, you will call me...BETTY!
Mal: But isn't Betty a girl's name?

BWAHAHAH!! *falls over laughing* Priceless!

TCM, you are SLAYING me!

________________________________________

Please remember that the 9:30 show is completely different from the 7:30 show. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

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Sunday, March 5, 2006 4:34 AM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

Okay, enough explosive diarrhea of an elephant,

VOTING TIME! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

http://vote.sparklit.com/web_poll.spark/969087

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Sunday, March 5, 2006 6:52 PM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

*voting bump*

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Monday, March 6, 2006 11:58 AM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

*bump*

Mal: What's that smell?
Jayne: That's the smell of "Sainthood" *big inhale* Ahhhhhhh...

OR

Mal: What's that gorram smell?
Jayne: Killed me some FOX execs, but it seems their crap can't be destroyed.

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Monday, March 6, 2006 2:34 PM

EARLYSUMMER

Jayne: Don't worry Mal, I'll find that missing herd. I'm sure they left a trail somewhere around here.
Mal: Um, Jayne?
Jayne: Don't worry, nothing gets by me.
Mal: Jayne.
Jayne: Hang on, I think I see something.
Mal: JAYNE!!

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Monday, March 6, 2006 2:46 PM

GUTTERBALL

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:
Mal: What's that gorram smell?
Jayne: Killed me some FOX execs, but it seems their crap can't be destroyed.

*snicker*

No, I'm afraid FOX's crap will long outlive everything but plastic and cockroaches. And that's gonna be a helluva close race.

Don't worry -- I voted already!

________________________________________

Please remember that the 9:30 show is completely different from the 7:30 show. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

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