People who talk at the theatre... by minime

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

People who talk at the theatre...

POSTED BY: MINIME
UPDATED: Monday, April 10, 2006 03:32
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Friday, April 7, 2006 4:34 PM

Not an original thread, by any means.
I was at a theatre yesterday listening to an amazing a cappella quartet (idea of north - check them out), and someone 2 seats down started SINGING ALONG. Grr.

So I immediately thought of the special hell she deserved, then thought I would vent here, and hear your stories of similar people who deserve the special hell...

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Friday, April 7, 2006 4:44 PM

J6NGO1977

I am not as cultured to go the the theatre but going to a theatre night you respect the musicians. If im seeing the Foo Fighters i sing along but not a theatre quartet. I enjoy . :)

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Friday, April 7, 2006 4:47 PM

DECLAN

My candidate for the special hell is from 1987. Not sure if a 1987 movie needs a spoiler warning but just to be cautious.

Select to view spoiler:

While watching the original Robocop, at the very end, when Robocop is asked if he knows his name... the person behind me, who had been talking all movie, who said "Murphy" about one beat early.

Yes, I had guessed, about a moment before, that that was going to be the answer, but I still wanted the emotional catharis of hearing the character say it.

But I'm not bitter after 19 years. I would be content if the Devil would turn up the flames for only, say, an eternity. Or make that two [sic].

***************
"'Course, there are other schools of thought."

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Friday, April 7, 2006 4:47 PM

DECLAN

My candidate for the special hell is from 1987. Not sure if a 1987 movie needs a spoiler warning but just to be cautious.

Select to view spoiler:

While watching the original Robocop, at the very end, when Robocop is asked if he knows his name... the person behind me, who had been talking all movie, who said "Murphy" about one beat early.

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Friday, April 7, 2006 11:22 PM

MINIME

Quote:
Originally posted by j6ngo1977:
I am not as cultured to go the the theatre

I used the word 'theatre' mostly to make it fit the Book quote...
You are right, though - some concerts require singing along. This, I respectfully submit, was definitely not one of them.

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Friday, April 7, 2006 11:24 PM

MINIME

Quote:
Originally posted by Declan:

But I'm not bitter after 19 years. I would be content if the Devil would turn up the flames for only, say, an eternity. Or make that two [sic].

No bitterness detected! Still - you have my sympathy.

Wonder if anyone's out there who had the BDM spoiled for them in such a fashion?

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Friday, April 7, 2006 11:38 PM

DESKTOPHIPPIE

This thread reminds me of that scene in The Simpsons where Homer is walking out of 'The Empire Strikes Back' and, as he's walking past a queue of people waiting to get in says "Wow! Who would have thought that Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker's Dad!"

As for me? I had to deal with a child running around, shouting and crying through almost an entire movie. I eventually went out and complained and the kid and his parents were removed, only to come back in less than five minutes later. To say I was livid is an understatement of mythic proportions.

What movie was it?

Serenity.

That kid was sooo lucky I'd seen it already by that stage. Blood would have been spilt.

Desktop Hippie: ~Usually~ all about the peace and love...

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Saturday, April 8, 2006 12:25 AM

SIMONB

Tried to see The Grudge and had to leave the cinema because pf all the people talking, using mobile phones, throwing sweets and generally not thinking about those of us trying to watch the film! (honestly why do these people pay to go in if they're not gonna watch properly!)

the special hell....

- Shiny. Let's be bad guys.

That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons even death may die

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Saturday, April 8, 2006 1:23 AM

SANDS

Every weekend I go to the movies…I love the movies, but listed below is a list of what I hate about everybody else.

1. People who talk during the movie

2. People who talk during the trailers

3. People who eat at the movies. I don’t mind people enjoying a little snack when they are trying to watch the feature presentation, but why the hell do you need a four course meal fat ass? And why eat so damn loud? And for the love of God stop playing with your trash. And stop licking your fingers pig!

4. People who don’t know how to turn off their cell phone.

5. People who talk on their cell phone.

6. People who use their cell phones light to signal their friends as to where they are sitting.

7. People who come in during the trailers and stand in the isles and ask what ever idiot they walked in with “where do you wanna sit?”

8. People who cut in line. I’m in line for Batman Begins (position: Front) and these four middle school kids walk past the entire line (Which was going out the door) and cut right in front of me. Now granted I’m only 19, and semi thin (and alone…all alone) but I’ll be damned if I let these little brats cut me. I paid good money, and came nice and early to get the seat I wanted, and these kids think that they can just waltz in 15 minuets before seating and just TAKE my spot. I say “F” that.
My conversation with annoying brats as followed:

Me: “Wowowo, hey, hey, hey, wo, hey, wait…what are you doing?
Kid1: “Oh, are you in line?”
Me: “Oh no, me and the mob of people who like to follow me around single file just like to hang out here.”
Kid2: “Who waits in line for a movie?”
Me: “I do, now get in the back of the line.”
Kid1: “Come on, this fuck face is just gay.”
Me: “Fuck face huh? I’ll have to remember that the next time I’m crawling off your mom.”

And get this; when the line starts to move to be seated these four try to cut AGAIN! But this time they used a tactic I like to call “The drifting” which is when the line starts to move they slowly blend in with the line. Another way to drift is when the doors open you just bolt inside. But unlucky for them we had a BAMF usher that just swatted them back.

9. People who take their kids to R rated movies. I’m in Kill Bill opening night, and I’m talking to a few friends. The nature of our conversation was graphic and cuss words where flying. When all of a sudden a “concerned parent” turned around and basically told us to stop because she didn’t want her kid to hear “foul language”. One of my friends said “Shut the F*** up, you don’t give a damn what your kid hears or sees.”

10. People who take my arm rest. 15 minutes into Serenity this Fat fatty fat fat McFatster (By the way I have nothing against fat people) comes waddling up the Isle sees a free seat next to me and sits…that’s fine, but the walk to the set in itself must have been exhausting because KFC here was breathing like a lawnmower. Then he pushes me off my armrest and then proceeds to put it up. So to recap the situation we have TubTub here, breathing like oxygen is a rare commodity, pushing me of my armrest and then obliterating the only barrier that’s between us, and you just don’t do that-that’s-that’s just taboo. “Don’t touch my shit!” Is what I wanted to scream but I settled for this little conversation:

Me: “Hey, I would like to have that down.”
(*I then proceed to put down the armrest)

TubTub McFatster: “Come on look at me! I need room!”
(His fat was literally sneaking over to my territory.)

Me: “Sorry, I’m not gonna do the love seat thing with you.”

He then gets up and storms out of the theater (Well…as best as a fat person can storm.) Grumbling about how some people “just don’t understand”. Hey, I understand just fine…I understand that I paid nine bucks to see this film and I want to have a good time.

11. People who movie hop.

12. People who “Don’t get it”. At the end of the Matrix some guy stood up and yelled “I don’t understand any of this!”

13. Men who make catcalls to actresses on screen. No matter how many times you make obscene gestures they will never ever fuck you. I was in V for Vendetta and some guy down a few seats goes “Ooooooh!!!” at Natalie Portman and then proceeds to like his fingers.

14. People who fall asleep at a movie.

15. People who leave the movie half way through.

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Saturday, April 8, 2006 1:53 AM

FLATTOP

A very nice list.
I especially like the replies to the parent worried about what their child may hear at a rated R film (bring your kid if you want, but expect the entire room to be rated R), and the fat guy that wanted to cuddle with you.
Going to a theater should be similar to getting on an airplane.
If you act up, everyone will pile on you, and you may be crushed and/or bludgeoned to death.
Show some respect.

Do you know what your sin is Captain?
Awww hell, I'm a big fan of all seven.

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Saturday, April 8, 2006 2:58 AM

JONUS

Sands, I loved your post. I don't go to the movies as much as I used to. It's just become to aggravating and stressful to deal with the complete frikkin retards that show up to ruin your experience. I have my own rant of people I've dealt with at the movies (in no particular order):

An idiot kicking the back of my seat the entire movie. This was at 'V for Vendetta' but this also happens almost every flick I go to. I turn around and say "Would you stop that, please." It works for a short while then he kicks my seat forward again. I say "Dude, move to another seat and stop kickin' mine." He says "It was an accident." It happens again and again. I just let it go. It's useless with some people. Especially when you have Michael J. Fox behind you who can't control his legs. (Lord, I apologize. That was just wrong.)

I went to see 'Ultraviolet'. This one guy had a runny nose and was snorting about every 3 seconds. I get up and say "Blow your damn nose or get out." He did blow his nose but in no time he was snorting again. But I realize about 15 minutes into the movie it isn't that good and the guy isn't ruining anything.

I hate it when parents bring their babies to R rated movies or bring more than one kid. If they can afford to come to the movies and buy both kids and themselves popcorn and drinks they could've used that money for a babysitter.

I've got a lot more rants but I'm tired of typing. Maybe later.

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Saturday, April 8, 2006 3:28 AM

REDLAVA

I have rarely had too many problems in the theatre, but when I went to go see Slither there was the typical ethnic stereotype there. (I won't go into anymore details about that) But when the movie started up and got going and the gross crap started happening she was talking to the actors on the screen VERY loudly. "Oh my god what's wrong with your face." "Don't go down there." "Kick the shit out of him he ain't no good." And so on and so on. After about the sixth time of being shushed she finally stopped, thankfully, and I could enjoy the rest of the movie. I realized that Book had it all right, she will be going to the "Special Hell."

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Saturday, April 8, 2006 3:54 AM

SERYN

we thank fully don't get to many of them in our places, we get the total retards detailed in the list above though. Gods give me strength.

My favorite, absolute best trip to a cinema (please read this with as much sarcasm as you can inject into it) was sitting down at a local multiplex and a herd of those backpacker types come in (you know the ones, they either don't speak a word of english, or they know loads and seem to think that thats makes them better than you, and they wear, for some unknown reason, every single colour they can in eyebal melting hues, fabrics that I wouln't line my dogs bed with and leave fruit pealings all over the place -but thats another rant entirely) Well, these guys didn't speak english, so guess what, they bought their own translator.

yup, a guy who repeated every single line to them in their own language loud enough so that everyone in the group could hear him, and for that matter, the entire cinema too.

I mean, I could understand them wanting to go if it were some local film that would never be shown anywhere else or some 3D thing at the London Imax, but it was some friggin summer blockbuster, it would have been on in their own country with subtitles or dubbing or whatever.

It was just unbelievable.

I do however have an admission to make, I once sat and quipped my way through a film, it was so damn dreadful that just couldn't help ourselves (Austin Powers 3 or something) and I do regret annoying all others in the cinema (except the egits we went with, they needed the punishment for making us go in the first place)

I am going to that special hell...

**********************************************************
Hodgins: Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn it stops. You tell it to stop it turns. You ask it to take out the garbage it watches reruns of Firefly.
FozzieWash, You know what I always say: sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug!
KermieMal, I never Know what the heck you're talking about.
FozzieWash, Hey, look! They're sending us free lumber!

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Saturday, April 8, 2006 4:31 AM

DONCOAT

I ran into a new one (for me) at one of the Serenity showings I went to -- thankfully, not the first.

It was a stadium-style theater. In front of me sat a middle-aged guy, not some teenage kid. Repeatedly, throughout the first half of the movie, he pulled out his cell phone and did something-or-other... checked email, or PMs, or something. The damn thing was bright as a headlight in the dark theater, and it was absolutely impossible not to be distracted by it.

After awhile I leaned forward and asked him not to do it. He didn't even seem to understand what I was objecting to. After one further blast in the eyeballs he got up and left. Good riddance!

I too have to wonder: why are those people even in the theater?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't disagree on any particular point.

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Saturday, April 8, 2006 2:31 PM

GIXXER

Me, it's other peoples' knees. Especially if they don't belong to anyone to whom I have been married for a considerable number of years.

I'm British, which makes me distinctly standoffish for a start, but if some bloke sits next to me, I really really don't want his splayed knees rubbing against mine. *Shudder*

Take my word for it, man, I really am the last person your body language should be telling that you are fertile, available and big on cod-cooling.

Epic list, Sands.

All my pet hates in one place, and all the reasons I will only go to a Film Theatre at gun- or knifepoint. (Mrs G has, during the aforementioned considerable number of years, learned all there is to know about coercion. She is lovely, though.)

One you missed. The person who gets a mobile phone call, having stupidly forgotten to switch it off, is mightily embarrassed and flustered as they struggle to find the phone (how hard can it be, idiot), grins apologetically to everyone. Then takes the bloody call...

G

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Saturday, April 8, 2006 2:48 PM

JOSSISAGOD

Quote:
Originally posted by Sands:

7. People who come in during the trailers and stand in the isles and ask what ever idiot they walked in with “where do you wanna sit?”

This one happens to me EVERY TIME I go the movies!

It's like, "Walk in, stay quite, and LOOK for an open seat!"

JOSSIS(Most Definitely)AGOD

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Saturday, April 8, 2006 2:53 PM

MEGMAC

I went with some friends to see "Bringing Down The House" (Steve Martin, Queen Latifah tat) a few years ago and about half way through the movie the guy in front of us started making very loud monkey noises. Funny now but actually quite scary at the time LOL.

------------------------------------------------
Mal: Wheel never stops turning, Badger.
Badger: That only matters to the people on the rim.

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Saturday, April 8, 2006 8:36 PM

MINIME

Wow, Sands, you've been thinking about this! Hope this thread has been cathartic for you...

Gotta agree especially with the:
talking very loudly through the previews
mobile phone lights

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Saturday, April 8, 2006 8:49 PM

FREDGIBLET

A tip for everyone: wait a week. If you go opening day the theater will be crowded with retards, if you wait a week or two then the people who will be there are most likely people like you who are trying to avoid the retards. The only movie that I saw opening week was Matrix Reloaded (I skipped school to go to it). Most of the time when I see movies (about 4 or 5 in the last 2 years) I don't see it for a few weeks and then the theater is nearly empty.

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Sunday, April 9, 2006 6:52 AM

DECLAN

Quote:
Originally posted by DesktopHippie:
This thread reminds me of that scene in The Simpsons where Homer is walking out of 'The Empire Strikes Back' and, as he's walking past a queue of people waiting to get in says "Wow! Who would have thought that Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker's Dad!"

Ah, that brings back more memories... 1983, Hollywood, 9:00 a.m. opening day, waiting in line for "Return of the Jedi", someone from the 6:00 a.m. showing walked by and said "I didn't know she was his sister." Not quite as bad as Homer but it didn't take much to guess it was Luke & Leia not Hans & Leia.

Annoying but not quite as annoying as having the fannish audience cheer during the cremation of Darth Vader. What part of Redemption did they not get? Or was all just whizbang special effects that they came for?

***************
"'Course, there are other schools of thought."

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Sunday, April 9, 2006 6:52 AM

DECLAN

Quote:
Originally posted by DesktopHippie:
This thread reminds me of that scene in The Simpsons where Homer is walking out of 'The Empire Strikes Back' and, as he's walking past a queue of people waiting to get in says "Wow! Who would have thought that Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker's Dad!"

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Sunday, April 9, 2006 7:13 AM

PERSEPHONE736

People always kick the back of my seat when I go to a movie. It never fails. Although one of my most annoying movie experiences was last fall when I went to see Bewitched. About two seats down from me was a woman who had brought her 3 or 4 year old daughter and guess what the little girl was playing with?! A plastic grocery bag. Not even kidding- she was shaking the thing around the whole time. I wanted to die. I've come to the realization that I will NEVER understand people.

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Sunday, April 9, 2006 8:24 AM

SASSALICIOUS

I wish I could have afforded my own personal translator when I was backpacking and trying to eat in small town Thailand.

Rar!

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Sunday, April 9, 2006 9:16 AM

DUNKELPFERD

I've had to deal with a lot of crappy things in the movie theater but one really sticks out. When I saw the last Lord of the Rings movie some family was sitting in front of me and there was this one little kid that must have been only 4 or 5. She started crying and getting upset because she was scared of the orcs and everything else. She even tried to tell her mom she wanted to go. It was awfully frustrating for everyone sitting near her and I thought surely the mom would take her kid out if the movie was that upsetting for her. But, no, the mother actually tells the kid to "be quiet, you're disturbing the people watching the movie." I could not believe that a mother would actually force her kid to sit there in a movie that was obviously upsetting her. I mean that's just mean to your kid and the audience. She should have never brought such a small kid to a movie like that anyway. It's obvious the kid didn't want to see it. That's some pretty poor parenting if you ask me.

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Sunday, April 9, 2006 12:54 PM

GIXXER

Parents can be really daft. Those two examples are dead on. The one with the scared kid. Did she not realise?

The one with the plastic bag. How come it didn't irritate the parent as much as it did everyone in earshot?

Good gag from Dave Spikey on 8 out of 10 Cats.

Mother in supermarket with obligatory crying child.

DS : "Did you hit that kid?"

Mum: (Outraged) "No!"

DS: "Why not?"

Don't bother ripping me for not being PC. It's funny.

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Sunday, April 9, 2006 1:06 PM

MMMWIFESOUP

I had a pretty funny experience with a theatre talker. We were in the cinema watching 'A.I' (a film I'm by no means a fan of) and the people behind us were wittering on all the way through about how crappy they thought the film was --

But then came the scene where Haley Joel is sitting trapped at the bottom of the ocean looking up at the Blue Fairy and repeating 'Please make me a real boy, please make me a real boy'. To which the woman behind said, loud enough for everybody to hear:

'Please just make him a f'n real boy so we can all go home!'

I can't lie -- I laughed. Most entertainment I got from the movie, actually.

But the kids who giggled every time Gimli or Gollum turned up in Return of the King -- there was almost blood.

-- My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle --

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Sunday, April 9, 2006 1:21 PM

WHISPER

God i hate going to the theater now for all the aforementioned reasons.

My worst experience was at the end of last summer, when i finally went to see Batman Begins. This movie had been out for at least two months but it was still packed. My friend and i had to sit in the very front row, which is irritating all on it's own, but the real fun part was where the rest of the row was full of teenagers. They were talking, rough housing (yes, rough housing), playing with their damn phones, switching seats, and getting up from their seats to go out into the theater hallway to talk even louder and then come back (this happened at least 6 times). I was absolutely LIVID. How can these kids not have any respect at all for those around them? I mean i worry about the sound of my wrapper when i'm opening candy!

Want Firefly/ Serenity/ BtVS/ Angel desktop wallpapers? Take a look at the ones I've created at:
http://www.whispergraphics.net
Now hosting the Firefly Extended Gagreel
I have added a forum to my site and now I need some members!

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Sunday, April 9, 2006 1:28 PM

SERVANTOFKUSHIEL

I have to say that I am pretty forgiving about noise at the movies. Reason being; I am deaf in one ear and usually can't hear muffled noises. So eating, quiet talking, and the like are not a problem. Also I go to the movies after a movie has been out at least two weeks so it's not crowded because i am crowdaphobic. But, I did break the cardinal rule at The Haunting (remake). Has anyone seen this movie? For fans, I am sorry about what's next but it's my opinion and it's NOT going to change. About halfway through this ridiculous film I was done. What a crapper. So in one part where they are trying to be all spooky but it just comes off hokey (with the cherubs), I laugh out loud in the dead silence and say, "This movie is the worst movie I have EVER SEEN." Loudly. Now usually people would get pissed off and I realized maybe i had stepped over the line until all of the people around me laughed and agreed. Wow, your movie really sucks when at least a tenth of the audience thinks I'm more entertaining than what's on screen. NO ONE shushed me. Anyhow, that my movie story and on a side note shortly after that I saw Rules of Attraction and now thats the worst movie I have ever seen. My brother bought it on DVD and I paid him twenty dollars for it after i borrowed it from him. He said "I thought you said it was so awful. I said "It is", then took out the DVD and broke it in half. I told him I hated it so much I wanted to give him money for it so I could break it and he wasn't out any money. I didn't want my 16 year old brother thinking that's the way people are in college. It's just Hollywood Sex and Hate sell bullshit.
And finally (cause i'm longwinded :P); if someone in front of you is doing something annoying in the seat in front of you at the movies, and they won't desist even after asked, just put your feet up on top of the back of their chair and ask if that bothers them. It's comedy gold.

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Sunday, April 9, 2006 10:40 PM

MINIME

Quote:
Originally posted by dunkelpferd:
I've had to deal with a lot of crappy things in the movie theater but one really sticks out. When I saw the last Lord of the Rings movie some family was sitting in front of me and there was this one little kid that must have been only 4 or 5. She started crying and getting upset because she was scared of the orcs and everything else. She even tried to tell her mom she wanted to go. It was awfully frustrating for everyone sitting near her and I thought surely the mom would take her kid out if the movie was that upsetting for her. But, no, the mother actually tells the kid to "be quiet, you're disturbing the people watching the movie." I could not believe that a mother would actually force her kid to sit there in a movie that was obviously upsetting her. I mean that's just mean to your kid and the audience. She should have never brought such a small kid to a movie like that anyway. It's obvious the kid didn't want to see it. That's some pretty poor parenting if you ask me.

That upsets me, too. I can never work out what American ratings mean, but here in Australia, the LOTR movies were an M15+ which means that they are 'suitable for mature audiences 15 years or older'. (As opposed to the MA rating which is enforced.) I was a 'scardey' kid when I was younger - I'm so glad my parents didn't force me to watch a lot of tv! (That sounds flippant, but it's not - they let me walk out of a lot of stuff that probably inconvenienced everyone.)

Although, to be honest, at least part of me is upset that this child will probably associate Lord of the Rings with a horrible experience for the rest of her life.

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Monday, April 10, 2006 2:20 AM

RAVENHAIR

Quote:
Originally posted by Gixxer:

DS : "Did you hit that kid?"

Mum: (Outraged) "No!"

DS: "Why not?"

Don't bother ripping me for not being PC. It's funny.

I'm a teacher (previously of elementary aged kids) and I think this is funny! (Maybe that's why I don't teach younger kids anymore???)

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Monday, April 10, 2006 2:45 AM

PALLAS

Hahah. From reading all that I can see I've had it pretty easy. I tend to pick session times that I know won't be very crowded (like 9pm Mondays) and avoid the morons.

The small thing I can't stand though (besides leaving your phone on silent and having it vibrating on the arm of your chair while you get msgs through the movie. bzz bzz bzz) is people eating, loudly.

Fistle fistle with the chip packets. Slurp with the drinks till there's definitely no more there. And god damn those choc-top ice-creams.

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Monday, April 10, 2006 3:32 AM

KAYNA

I love my captain

I admit that I do chat during movies. Sorry.

I keep it quite though. What I say is usually meant for the friend next to me and I would be suprised if anyone two seats over could hear me. No one has ever asked me to stop. If anyone ever does I will try to stop.

I do tend to go a few weeks in though. I don't like having people crowding around on all sides. I start to get all squirmy and uncomfortable.

I have actually been pretty lucky with my theatre going experiences. The only movie talker I can remember was actually kind of funny. It was at Return of the King (one of the few times I've gone to a movie opening night). It was during one of the many fades (I call them false endings) during the last 15 min of the movie. People thought it was over and started to get up. They'd been doing this since the fade on Mt. Doom (those who hadn't read the books). When the movie continued again the woman in front of me said somewhat loudly (she was trying to be quite but frustration adds volume) "This movie doesn't end". I love the LotR movies but I had to agree with her. Plus, I needed to use the bathroom and didn't want to miss anything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Op: You're fighting a war you've already lost.
Mal: Yeah, well I'm known for that.

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