Limericks! Post your Limericks by FutureMrsFIllion

WHOOOOO HOOOOO

We made it past 100 posts! Does that mean we can now go into syndication!

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 6:38 AM

Badger is really just a bloke
No matter how tough he hath spoke
Don’t take offense at my meaning
His teeth need a cleaning
And perhaps a fresh and clean cloke

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 6:40 AM

Not if Fox has anything to do with it

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 6:43 AM

Zetta! Good one. Thats a giggle! Fox! Bwahhahahahahah

Badger is really just a bloke
No matter how tough he hath spoke
Don’t take offense at my meaning
His teeth need a cleaning
And perhaps a fresh and clean cloke

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 6:49 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by zzetta13:
Book brought Inara a food plate with peppers,
She asked "Here for a sermon?" He said "Never"
Said he only brought food,
But had two sermons quite good,
One with hell, brimfire and lepers

Z

My little nod to the Bushwhacked episode!

Haken looked at the elegant lady
Who travelled with such company shady.
Why she left Sihnon
She wouldn't let on.
"Do you love him" she shrugged with a 'maybe'

When Captain Harken tried questioning Zo'
About her unusual beaux
She gave him a look
That left him all shook
"That ain't something that you need to know!"

"Ever been with a warrior woman?"
Asked Wash of the puzzled Captain
'Coz she's got a leg
That can make a man beg
He concluded with style and elan.

'Lill Kaylee screamed like a banshee
When he badmouthed her Serenity.
"She ain't ruttin' junk
You ignorant lunk!
Any frog-humpin' hwoon dahn can see!"

"It's odd to have a Shepherd onboard,
This crew don't seem to worship the Lord."
Book just gave a smile
Said "I'll bide here a while,
'Cos it sure saves from getting too bored!"

"That's a most loyal crew you have there,
That you use to give transports a scare."
Mal called him an idiot
For not knowing what he'd got.
"Of that thing down below, now beware!"

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 7:23 AM

Really excellent work! How are you getting anything else done?

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 7:32 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
Really excellent work! How are you getting anything else done?

Work! Damn! I knew there was something I'd forgotten! That's what come's from working from home, there's no-one to stand over you with a whip to prod you away from the fun stuff!

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 7:46 AM

edited : oops

River had to spend time frozen
By the Alliance she has been chosen
They come two by two
With hands that are blue
Malcom should becareful what he puts his nose in

The engineer's a shirtless young hunk
Is there something wrong with your bunk?
While you are here entertaining
The coffers are draining
And the engine won’t turn, it goes clunk!

My ODE to Safe

With cows River can talk
The Captain said go for a walk
There is really no time
For this nonsense in crime
He gave Simon no time to balk

Kaele admired a plate
For Simon, whom she wished to date
Her feelings were hurt
His opinion was kurt
She left Simon not feeling great

River just wanted to dance
To the music she swayed and she pranced
She showed excellent timin'
But someone stole Simon
She followed as if in a trance

This village here needs a doctor
I'm just a teacher, sort of a proctor
Here your journey should end
Help these people to mend
Your free to roam, this door we won’t lock her

This little girl has had a bad time
She witnessed her mom do the crime
Now she doesn't talk
But we went for a walk
She told me, but all with her mind

A witch is what you must be
The bible does tell about thee
We must cast you down
We'll have no witches around
And soon Simon will see

A post holer is for digging posts
A must for the host with the most
We will start a big fire
Maybe 4 feet or hire
And River, I am afraid we must roast

Stop! You can't do this thing
On yourselves bad kharma you bring
She's just my sister
The crew they have missed her
Our salvation is Jayne on the wing

Oh Simon, she said with a smile
Just stand here and wait for awhile
Soon Daddy will come
And he'll take us home
They are close, its just another mile

Its MY witch you think to burn
And I don't think that it is her turn
So just cut her down
I am beginning to frown
There are some things you don’t want to learn!

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 7:55 AM

And you ask me what I've been doing all day!

Whoa! These are great! A whole episode in lymeric form!
(And still so many eps to go!)

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 7:56 AM

JPSTARGAZER

After Kaylee was in stable condition
Mal was curious about Simon's mission
He kicked open the crate
Because he could not wait
Huh, River's nekkid in a fetal position.

Our sorrow for Wash will not cease
At his death, our foreheads did crease
His sharp wit
And dinosaur skit
Made us laugh and consider juggling geese.

Mal walked back to check on his ship
And was suprised by gyrating hips
Engines may make her hot
But she knows quite a lot
And gets the job as her dress re-zips.
(not sure if re-zips is a word, but what can you do)

Now I'm not going to get anything done today, thinking of more...

"All I got is a red guitar, three chords, and the truth...the rest is up to you"
--Bono

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 7:57 AM

yes, yes I know! *cradles head*

A tomato, a potato, a muffin
A chicken all filled up with stuffin
The crew likes to dream
About strawberries and cream
But real food? I am afraid they have nuthin

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 8:08 AM

Its luchtime and I'm sad to see
I have to eat canned ravioli

If only my spouse
Weren;t such a louse
He send more money for my kids and me!

Sorry a little of track there!

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 10:04 AM

MILDCINEPHILE

Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
Quote:
Originally posted by MildCinephile:

I thought of this on a motorcycle ride.

http://serenityjune23rd.com/]

Then you are our kinda browncoat!

I was riding (as opposed to driving) the motorcycle at the time, but none the less... I'm glad to hear it!

And today I turned in a vocabulary paragraph using the words fatuous, reproach, indifference, adroit, and indignation, eith the paragraph of course being about Firefly. I turned it in and don't have a copy, but it was mostly about how all the Browncoats memorize entire episodes and were a little less annoyed when Serenitypremiered.

One day.
One mission.
One army of Browncoats.

On June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.

http://serenityjune23rd.com/

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 10:20 AM

DESKTOPHIPPIE

There was a young psychic called River
Who's shooting could make Kaylee shiver
'till a mean body hunter
Made plans to abduct her
But thankfully failed to deliver

Desktop Hippie: at one with the 'verse

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 5:14 PM

I see the thread has moved on from this theme but still...

Ladies, please, there is no need to panic.
It's Serenity, not the Titanic.
All of you gals
Can have time being Mal's,
Just let me have the sweet lil mechanic!

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 5:24 PM

sab39 Kaele is yours
come on board, sightsee and tour
to Kaele theres nuttin
better than ruttin
in the engine room - but not on the floor!

OK its risque
but I just need to say
I think of something thats nice
and then I think twice
and my good thoughts go all astray!

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 5:28 PM

Zoe, says mal with a wild crazy look
a hood ornament we need, we should honor book
he continued to talk and kaele was rapt
find that boy for me kaele thats on a dirt nap
he then turned to Jayne with this last little bit
Becareful then Jayne, don't steal all their sh*t

So I went a little Doctor Suess on you all!

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 6:31 PM

"Oh, and Joss," said the fans, "if you do
Get a chance to make BDM2,
Please don't evermore mention
'deaths heighten the tension' -
There are already two men too few!"

And on another note...

Of a show called Firefly tells this poem:
Out of order Fox decided to show 'em.
Then they cancelled Firefly,
But they can't take the sky,
And if they think the Browncoats are going to lay down and let those ruttin' hwoon dans treat such a treasure of a show with that kind of disrespect, they don't know 'em!

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 6:37 PM

FutureMrs, you're terribly kind,
To let little Kaylee be mine.
And don't mind the risque,
Cause in truth I must say:
Don't think that it weren't on my mind!

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 8:35 AM

Kaylee is a sweet woman-child
who on one side is a bit wild
What happens twenxt her nethers,
I'm sure ain't with feathers,
An image Jayne may keep on Brain/file

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 9:14 AM

I thought I would take a break (from the rhyme)
Feast on proteiny cake
Chase a few llamas
Talk to my mama
But this short time is all I can take

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 9:45 AM

Hello FMF,

Yep took a little break myself. It's funny but when I come to this thread sometimes a little verse will come to me very quickly then at other times I only get two or three lines and have to send a while fitting the last two.

Anyway its a very fun theard that you've started. My hats off to you.

Also I've enjoyed your thread about Saffrin in the TRASHED esp. I thought that she looked a bit chestier too but the main thing I was thinking when I first saw that eps was how cool it was for Joss & company to bring back certain actors. Badger being another one.

Well gotta run. I've got a couple of new little limericks that won't take to much to finish and post. Just depends on what brakes around the house today that I have to fix first

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 1:27 PM

Now I am learning about scary.

There once was a doctor named Simon
Whose name wasn't too good for rhymin'.
I gave it a try,
Now I'm ready to cry.
This is something I've spent too much time on!

(Although it looks like I'm not the only one! And I seem to have spent less time than some. Excellent work, everyone!

)

"We need to keep our heads so we can ... keep our heads."

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 1:32 PM

LADYSERENITY

There once was a girl named Kaywinnet
Her mechanical skills had no limit
Fresh strawberries she's eyin
For Simon she's pining
If only the doctor'd get with it!

Hey, it was my first try.

Lady Serenity

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 4:38 PM

Welcome LadySerenity! Excellent job. Worthy limerick!

SaveWash, it was good! Its gets hard after awhile. I find they either come really fast or not at all.

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 4:48 PM

Hello Lady Serenity,

Nice post,Welcome. Enjoy your stay and...

Anytime you feel a sweet tick,
Cut loose with a limerick,
This thread has lots of feeling,
Began by our very own FUTUREMRSFILLION

Bye,Z

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 4:59 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
I thought I would take a break (from the rhyme)
Feast on proteiny cake
Chase a few llamas
Talk to my mama
But this short time is all I can take

FutureMrs, how quaint! You believe
You can quit this? How very naive!
No, the limerick curse,
It is just like the 'verse,
Once you've lived there, you NEVER can leave!

(edited to get a better rhyme on the second line)

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Thursday, May 4, 2006 4:36 AM

Rivers considered a witch to some it seems,
And shes plagued by all those bad dreams,
Protected by her brother,
From the feds like no other,
With Serenitys crew they're quite a team

Z

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Thursday, May 4, 2006 5:01 AM

When Simon left, lil Kaylee Frye
Had some farewell advice for her guy:
"Better think on your feet,
And don't look so damn neat -
And don't ride anything with a Capasun 48 engine, they fall right out of the sky!"

(so I'm a fan of the "stuff way too many syllables into the last line" gag, so shoot me. Some people juggle geese!)

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Thursday, May 4, 2006 5:32 AM

SAB39 good rhyme

SHINDIG:

Atherton gave Inara a call,
Asked "Do you want to go to a Persephone ball?"
Your invited you see,
but the invites with me,
Persephones finest will be there and all,

Inara said she'd go with Atherton Wing,
Be fun to dance and to sing,
Kaylee went there with Mal,
Who made a deal involving cows,
And Badger who could hear the cash register ring,

Mal punched Atherton for insulting Inara,
Causing Wing to make a date with the floor-a,
He said "I accept!"
And in a room you'll be kept,
For tomorrow you'll be a captain no more-a,

In the room Mal practiced his tact,
Said Inara " there's a way out the back."
Mal said "I don't run."
" At least from this one."
As Nara swatted his ass a good whack,

The next day the sword duel began,
There was no shaking of hands by the men,
Wing stabbed Malcolms side,
To make Inara his companion not bride,
And claim himself to be the best man,

As it turned out was all for the good,
And really that is how it should,
Mals no good with a sword,
Glad Serenity hes on board,
Next cargo they haul should be wood

Z

" Somebody tries to kill you, you try to kill them right back." Mal

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Thursday, May 4, 2006 7:49 AM

JPSTARGAZER

Can't...stop...must...rhyme...ahhh!

Mal once married a youth
And the honeymoon went south
Before the special hell
They smooched and he fell
He learned "never kiss'em on the mouth."

Simon was always real classy
But with women it always got messy
"You're the only girl I know
That isn't related, married, or a pro."
Hey, at least Kaylee ranked higher than Bessie!

There was a doctor from Osiris
Who could cure you of wound or virus
He said "The one thing I regret"
Kaylee said "You mean sex?"
And they ended up together, attire-less.

"All I got is a red guitar, three chords, and the truth...the rest is up to you"
--Bono

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Thursday, May 4, 2006 10:05 AM

We should have done this as men
Fought out in the open
Not finished with fire
That is not my desire
Still got his arse kicked in the end!

Reavers like to eat flesh
They prefer it really quite fresh
They'll make suits of your skin
Skin you're still in
Our societies really don't mesh

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Thursday, May 4, 2006 11:15 AM

AGENTOFCHANGE

Kaylee was very smitten with him
If they got breedin'
Maybe on a lark or a whim
A new "primary buffer panel"
He'll be needin'

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Thursday, May 4, 2006 1:44 PM

Now I am learning about scary.

Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:

SaveWash, it was good! It gets hard after awhile. I find they either come really fast or not at all.

Thanks for the kind words, FMF. I think I temporarily burnt out after all those I did the other day (above). I'm hoping to give it another try this weekend - fair warning to y'all!

"We need to keep our heads so we can ... keep our heads."

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Thursday, May 4, 2006 5:10 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
SaveWash, it was good! Its gets hard after awhile. I find they either come really fast or not at all.

Is my mind really the only one sufficiently in the gutter to notice those sentences are really full of innuendos?

Oh well. I like livin' in the gutter. Good view of the stars...

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Thursday, May 4, 2006 10:07 PM

I've been gone for a little while
I saw all of these posts, begining to pile.
Everyone is so creative.
Witty and innovative.
Reading them always makes me smile.

Now I have a limrick for each crew member:)

I've got to say, one thing is for certain;
In the looks department, Simon ain't hurtin'.
His ice cold blue eyes,
have me so hypnotized,
I'm jealous it's with Kaylee he's flirtin'.

Now Jayne, he's such a hunk.
Whenever he says, "I'll be in my bunk";
my blood starts to boil,
my brain's in turmoil,
And my heart trips a heavy thunk-thunk.

Mal, well, now there's a tasty dish.
I wouldn't take a night in his arms amiss.
My mind gets stuck in a rutt,
when I see his fine, perky butt.
I understand why Inara stole a kiss.

Inara is a lovely little dear.
She feels things she thinks Mal don't wanna hear.
That she loves him, no doubt,
But she's afraid to let her feelings out.
One day she'll find there's nothing to fear.

Wash, he's a very funny man.
He's always got a joke in the can.
He's in love with his wife,
through the good times and strife.
Because, "Have you ever been with a warrior woman?".

Zoe is a tough egg to crack.
She's not in to taking much flack
She is awful tough actin',
but when it comes to the captain,
she's always there to watch his back.

River is a very smart girl,
with a propensity to frolick and twirl.
But if she get's in a fight,
run with all of your might,
or she might find a chair to hurl.

Book is a preacher and a mystery.
There's more to the man than you see.
Even though he's well read,
He can still disarm a fed,
then sit down with Inara for tea.

Kaylee's the heart of the crew, vivacious and merry.
No one can forget what she does with a strawberry.
She likes frilly layer dresses
as much as greasy messes.
She's our beautiful engine room fairy.

I think it's just plain to see.
The best ship in the sky's Serenity.
Even full of evil space monkeys,
and companion school flunkies,
it's the best place in space to ever be!

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Friday, May 5, 2006 12:17 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

I do admire everyone's fortitude
My brain's hit a bit of lastitude
And still y'all write
And cheer up my night
Shiny and smart with great attitude

*************************************************
One summer.
One mission.
One legion of Browncoats.

Starting June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.

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Friday, May 5, 2006 1:58 AM

I've just got to bump this thread
before I take off for bed
cause i think it's real neat
FMF, you're so sweet
Giving us a place for our rhymes to be read.

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Friday, May 5, 2006 2:18 AM

ARABIKUM

There once was a plan for June 23rd
“Serenity-Day” being the name we all heard,
Now as I remember
we have a campaign ´til September
And I really don´t know, how that occurred.

A.

The Wizard paused a moment before speaking to focus his eyes, which had recently developed a tendency to cross, and looked gravely at Dildo.
"It is time to talk of the Ring," he said.
"Ring? What ring?" said Dildo.
"Thee knows only too well what Ring," said Goodgulf. "The one in thy pocket, Master Bugger."
"Oooooh, that Ring," said Dildo with a show of innocense, "I thought you meant the ring you leave in my tub after your seances with your rubber duck."

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Friday, May 5, 2006 3:38 AM

Sadly I must flit away.
I'll be gone for a week and a day.
But you all keep on rhyming
With such excellent timing,
Until I return to the fray!

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Friday, May 5, 2006 11:31 AM

The Operative is really rather vile
Said, "Mal, you're not a reaver.", with a smile.
So Mal corpsified his ship
Got sick of Operative lip
Maybe a trip to Miranda would be worthwhile.

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Saturday, May 6, 2006 10:51 AM

Now I am learning about scary.

There once was a show, "Firefly,"
Part Western as well as sci-fi.
The Browncoats were thrilled
Until it was killed--
And the Fox folk have no alibi.

"We need to keep our heads so we can ... keep our heads."

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Sunday, May 7, 2006 4:03 PM

They come for you two by two
They come with their hands so blue
Even Jayne they can scare
and they haven't much hai
They kill you with ways that are new

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Monday, May 8, 2006 7:30 PM

Mal and Saffron went to steal an old gun
While Inara took off for a Companion run
Jayne got electrified
And Kaylee almost died
Then Saffron left Mal sitting nekkid in the sun.

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Tuesday, May 9, 2006 6:00 AM

Jaynestown

Jayne strapped a gun with Duck tape to his side,
Said Mal "With the strict laws of Canton we must abide."
"Remove that weapon from your person."
Forceful words said for certain,
Removing tape hurt more than just Jaynes silly pride

They made their way with ship down to Higgins moon,
Jaynes clothing made him look like a big bafoon,
There Inara to make a man of Higgins son,
The group assured jayne he be recognized by no one,
But a statue of Cantons hero had them change their tune,

"The Hero of Canton has returned" mudders sang of Jayne,
Who in his absence didn't know he had gained such fame,
Upon his coming they did celebrate,
Brought no pleasure to the magistrate,
Where to Higgins let Stich go to cause him pain,

Jayne stood before the town to make a heros speech,
While Mal and crew took the goods without a hitch,
The honored of Canton Stich would slay,
But didn't happen on that day,
While the ships lockdown had Wash curse "Son of a Be-atch"

After all the fussin and cussin were said and done,
Serenitys landlock was released by Higgins son,
The boat took flight with cargo inside,
While Jayne pondered bout all the lies,
And now a statue of Cantons hero the town has none

Z

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Tuesday, May 9, 2006 2:21 PM

Now I am learning about scary.

Well, Zoe's the captain's first mate.
She's smart and her skills are first-rate.
She's loyal and true,
To Mal, and Wash, too.
Being second makes Wash quite irate.

"We need to keep our heads so we can ... keep our heads."

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Thursday, May 11, 2006 11:01 AM

PDCHARLES

What happened? He see your face?

There once was a girl named Inara
Pitch a tent in your pants if you saw 'er
An all time beauty
I'd like to call cutie
Forget a camel, I'd walk the Sahara

just when u thought it was dead...

a stretch... its what a full day of work will do to ya

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Friday, May 12, 2006 8:35 AM

Saffron

Oh Saffron what a sweet,innocent, charming girl was she,
Got herself stowed aboard the Firefly "Serenity"
With ships crew totaly unaware,
Worked her evil with craftful care,
To get our heros in a place they really cared not to be

Raised on a ranch, not on a farm was Mal,
Yet Saffron had him shyly talkin bout his "plow"
With a kiss so soft,hot and needy,
Spoke deceitful words "Night sweety"
The captain may have wished his behold again were cow

This cute,huggable vixen were a companion its true,
Partner up with her she'll make a fool of you,
With all the frolic and a flirtin,
On the floor you'll end up hurtin,
From the begining she had me fooled I'm thinking what of you?

Z

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Friday, May 12, 2006 10:39 AM