GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Anyone for Haikus?

POSTED BY: EMMARIGBY
UPDATED: Thursday, May 4, 2006 10:16
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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 11:01 AM

EMMARIGBY


Since I've had so much fun on the Lymeric thread I thought I'd be brave and pluck up the courage to start my own thread.

Anyone ever played with haikus?
Structure:
* 3 Lines
* Lines 1,2,3 have 5,7,5 syllables respectively.
* Unrhymed
(This restriction is not absolute, but should not be violated without good reason.)

Origins:
It is of Japanese origin. A Haiku is short poem of a keenly observed moment
that pertains to nature or human nature. The original purpose of these limitations was to force the author to distill his or her verse to its most essential elements. The reader, in turn, uses his or her own imagination to gain a deeper insight into the subject of the haiku.


Example:
The engines shimmer
Lighting another escape
Off into the black




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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 11:08 AM

GEE


Only ever tried once although it is at the start of a book I'm trying to write but in the spirit of sharing:

Red water drops fast

Rusting flesh creaks alone

Metal fades to dust

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 12:09 PM

FUTUREMRSFILLION


I'll give it a go, but mmmmmm don't know if my brain is haiku worthy!

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 12:12 PM

FUTUREMRSFILLION


Oxygen runs out
Glimpses of a distant past
Brings us home again


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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 2:25 PM

DONCOAT


Bleak washed-out dead world
Ghosts talk but they say nothing
I will be a stone

Great old ship like this
She'll be with you your whole life
Hey, boy, you hear me?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't disagree on any particular point.

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 2:29 PM

JADEHAND


Worker bees can leave
Even drones can fly away
The queen is their slave.


Visit WWW.Marillion.Com for a better way to live
"Finding the answer It's a human obsession
But you might as well talk to the stones and the trees and the sea
'Cause nobody knows And so few can see
There's only beauty and caring and truth beyond darkness." -Estonia(This Strange Engine) -Marillion



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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 2:32 PM

DONCOAT


Keep it down, River
Morbid and creepifying
That ain't a problem

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't disagree on any particular point.

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006 7:43 PM

ORPHEUS


I'm like a machine at this stuff.

The Earth was used up.
Found a new solar system.
Hundreds of new Earths.

Public Relations.
I'm not paid to talk pretty.
And Jayne ain't a girl.

Might be back later with some more.

____________________
"Were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose?"

http://podculture.net/ Episode 11 now featuring Yours Truly!

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 8:34 AM

EMMARIGBY


This one just popped into my head!

I slept for so long.
Didn't think you'd come for me.
Then you're a dummy.

I know, they're supposed to be observational, but hey!

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 9:35 AM

SOFI


first try, what do you think? too sad..? never been a poetry type.

watching his last breath
my heart is ripped from my chest
now i am alone

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"the legs. oh, yeah. definitely have to say it was her legs. you can put that down. her legs and where her legs meet her back. in fact, that whole area. and... above it..."

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 9:35 AM

SOFI


first try, what do you think? too sad..? never been a poetry type.

watching his last breath
my heart is ripped from my chest
now i am alone

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"the legs. oh, yeah. definitely have to say it was her legs. you can put that down. her legs and where her legs meet her back. in fact, that whole area. and... above it..."

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 9:35 AM

SOFI


first try, what do you think? too sad..? never been a poetry type.

watching his last breath
my heart is ripped from my chest
now i am alone

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"the legs. oh, yeah. definitely have to say it was her legs. you can put that down. her legs and where her legs meet her back. in fact, that whole area. and... above it..."

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 9:35 AM

SOFI


first try, what do you think? too sad..? never been a poetry type.

watching his last breath
my heart is ripped from my chest
now i am alone

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"the legs. oh, yeah. definitely have to say it was her legs. you can put that down. her legs and where her legs meet her back. in fact, that whole area. and... above it..."

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 9:35 AM

SOFI


first try, what do you think? too sad..? never been a poetry type.

watching his last breath
my heart is ripped from my chest
now i am alone

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"the legs. oh, yeah. definitely have to say it was her legs. you can put that down. her legs and where her legs meet her back. in fact, that whole area. and... above it..."

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 9:35 AM

SOFI


first try, what do you think? too sad..? never been a poetry type.

watching his last breath
my heart is ripped from my chest
now i am alone

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"the legs. oh, yeah. definitely have to say it was her legs. you can put that down. her legs and where her legs meet her back. in fact, that whole area. and... above it..."

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 10:05 AM

DEEPGIRL187


Here's my half-assed attempt:

A leaf on the wind
He will no longer soar free
Taken far too soon

P.S. - I think you can also write haikus in a 7,9,7 form. Don't quote me on that though.


At last.
We can retire and give up
this life of crime.

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 10:49 AM

OURMRSWASHBURNE


A little Mal / Zoe haiku...

"What d'you reckon then?
Will he be a good pilot?"

"Not with that moustache."


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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 11:04 AM

DESKTOPHIPPIE


Bathing Inara
Cleansing her body and soul
Jayne is in his bunk












Well, it's a moment of Jayne's human nature!

Desktop Hippie: at one with the 'verse

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006 11:30 AM

DESKTOPHIPPIE


Okay, this one's a little deeper

River closes her
Eyes takes aim no power in
The verse can stop me

Desktop Hippie: at one with the 'verse

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Thursday, May 4, 2006 2:21 AM

DEEPGIRL187


She spins and prances
Bright pink skirt and combat boots
Dark memories fade

Yeah, I know, it sucks.

At last.
We can retire and give up
this life of crime.

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Thursday, May 4, 2006 2:43 AM

JONUS


I don't like haiku's
They are for sensitive nerds
And I hate poems, too

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Thursday, May 4, 2006 2:52 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION


Wow these are all good!

Haiku's are hard and require work!

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Thursday, May 4, 2006 3:44 AM

DEEPGIRL187


For me, limericks are harder. I'm not that good at rhyming. You guys have posted a lot of great ones.

At last.
We can retire and give up
this life of crime.

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Thursday, May 4, 2006 5:22 AM

DEEPGIRL187


Floating in the black
Held by a blanket of stars
A crew flies in peace

At last.
We can retire and give up
this life of crime.

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Thursday, May 4, 2006 7:27 AM

SAB39


To whoever invented the Haiku:
With a two-by-four I'd like to strike you,
'Cause now every nerd
With a seasonal word
Is five-seven-fiving just like you!

(They are supposed to contain a seasonal word, right?)

Actually I did do some firefly cast haikus on a thread a while back, lessee if I can find a pointer to the thread...

Yeah, here it is: http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=18573

My favorite of the ones I came up with for that thread:

River's craaazzzzyyy...
Oops, not enough syllables
in first line. SUMMER!!!

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Thursday, May 4, 2006 7:55 AM

EMMARIGBY


You're right, they do get old quite quickly (although kudos for the really cool ones people have posted!!)

I was just desperate for anything to rid my mind of llymerics! I think I'm getting over it now (grin), the medication is starting to kick in. I've not had to rhyme for quite a long time


Arrrrrrtrrrhgh! No! That wasn't even intentional I swear! Someone help me please!

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Thursday, May 4, 2006 10:16 AM

DEEPGIRL187


Had to give this thread a little bump, since I'm no good at writing limericks. I'm doing this one in a 7, 9, 7 rhythm, just so's you know.

"Don't think she'd harm anyone."
And Jayne replied, "Butcher Knife!"
"Not anyone we can't spare."



At last.
We can retire and give up
this life of crime.

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