How to Fight off Zombies from what Firefly has taught U by KuangZheDe

Always firmly identify all the hurdles you may be faced with beforehand.
Oh, and always have a holy man with a high-pressure water hose handy.

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Monday, June 5, 2006 7:22 AM

GUNRUNNER

Always bring Grenades.

If possible always attack with superior numbers (… its why we lost you know…)

Stealth, perhaps you’ve heard of it? (No not the movie Gorramit!)

Always remember where your ammo is at. (“Where’s my spare clips!?”)

If possible avoid using ‘Xi niu High Tech Alliance Crap’.

Hand Jayne a big stick and stand back.

Peck on them for a spell with mortars then attack with rollers and every other damn thing. (Alliance Battle Tactics 101)

Two words: Air Support (“… Tell the 82nd to...” “…They ain’t coming…”)

EV Nova Firefly mod Message Board:
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Monday, June 5, 2006 7:23 AM

GUNRUNNER

Calls in some of that Air Support on the double post.

EV Nova Firefly mod Message Board:
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Monday, June 5, 2006 7:25 AM

Don't run. If you run they'll have to follow you. It's their way.

David

"Not completely as well as the series of Firefly..." - From a review of Serenity at amazon.de

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Monday, June 5, 2006 7:28 AM

STILLFLYIN

And if they do give 'em a peck of trouble of about it. The kind where you chop off thier hands and feet with a machette and roll'em into the bog.

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Monday, June 5, 2006 7:36 AM

CHRISTHECYNIC

Personally I think I'd just lead the Reavers to them. Reavers vs. Zombies leaves two possible outcomes:
1 The zombies all die horrible deaths, I just beat the zombies.
2 The zombies win, all of the Reavers become zombies, this makes the Reavers far more pleasant as they now merely eat you alive, as opposed to the other stuff, and are no longer smart enough to get a hold of you with their magnetic grappler.

But that isn't something I learned, I worked it out on my own.

I did learn that they don't like it when you shoot at them, and ... um ... so I didn't learn all that much.

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Monday, June 5, 2006 7:39 AM

SINGATE

Give River one of those slayer looking axe-like weapons from the BDM then play the fruity oaty bar theme.

Kick em' through the engines.

Blow em' out the airlock.

Tell Jayne they drank the last of Kaylee's home brewed liquor.

Have Simon withhold sex until Kaylee dispatches all aforementioned zombies.

Pull a Crazy Ivan. Zombies would have no appetite for brains after such a maneuver.

Give them a rainstick to play with then shoot em' in the head while they are distracted.

Give Simon free run of the kitchen so's he can produce another crotch scented delicacy. This will also cause a loss of appetite.

_________________________________________________

We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.

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Monday, June 5, 2006 7:42 AM

KUANGZHEDE

Always.....Put a bullet in the brain pan, "Squish"

Kuang Zhe De

The fastest baby eater, east of the Mississippi

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Monday, June 5, 2006 7:42 AM

GUNRUNNER

(Cocks purse sized gun for emphasis) Leave no man behind!

EV Nova Firefly mod Message Board:
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Monday, June 5, 2006 9:46 AM

KUANGZHEDE

Shot anybody in the cluthces of a Zombie mob as "A piece of Mercy." Before they join the ranks of the undead

Kuang Zhe De

The fastest baby eater, east of the Mississippi

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Monday, June 5, 2006 11:17 AM

STILLFLYIN

1. Call in every ship in the quadrant and meet them in the air

2. Swear by your pretty floral bonnet that you'll end them

3. Have the man hanging out of the spaceship with the really big gun follow through on his will to kill some folk.

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Monday, June 5, 2006 11:24 AM

CYBERSNARK

They don't like it when you shoot at 'em.

-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

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Monday, June 5, 2006 11:24 AM

CHRISTHECYNIC

It occurs to me that when the inevitable zombie attack does come the best advice firefly has to offer might be in the song, find someone with a space ship and tell them to,
"Take me out, into the black
Tell them I ain't coming back,
Burn the land and boil the sea,"

Which sounds very similar to what Aliens taught me about fighting zombies, "Take off and nuke the entire site from orbit, it's the only way to be sure."

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Monday, June 5, 2006 11:26 AM

CHRISTHECYNIC

Quote:
Originally posted by Cybersnark:
They don't like it when you shoot at 'em.

Hey! I said that.

I think I'm supposed to say some over used line about thinking alike now, whatever, obviously I agree with you.

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Monday, June 5, 2006 12:08 PM

Come at them sideways, sidle up and smile.
Always have a standard immunization package.

Make sure you get a few free thrusts before, as you're not long for this world.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

13, First Mate of the 'Heart of Haven'
and Honorary Forsaken

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Monday, June 5, 2006 12:11 PM

Have we investigated the effect the Fruity Oatie Bar commercial has on them?
I actually have a friend who received as a bithday gift a machete inside a box with a glass cover that had a lovely illustration and the instructions in case of zombie attack please break glass...I wish I had one, but her husband spent so long on it he said it's not worth his time to make another...sigh

Maybe Serenity needs a nice flamethrower with an in case of reaver please break glass sign. As I am fairly certain setting them on fire should be reasonably effective and as they tend to bunch up it could take out a large number.

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

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Tuesday, June 6, 2006 3:19 AM

KUANGZHEDE

While I love the thought of fire, who doesn't, it may be dangerous to have a mob of zombie fireballs walking around catching other stuff on fire before their brain temperature reached critical.

I still like the mental imgae though

Kuang Zhe De

The fastest baby eater, east of the Mississippi

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Tuesday, June 6, 2006 4:56 AM

yeah KDZ it was cracking me up the image of wildly flailing reavers all bouncing off each other trailing fire..hmm this attack may only be a good idea in an open area setting. Closed quarters of the ship might just not be my best plan...

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

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Tuesday, June 6, 2006 5:44 AM

GRIZWALD

I didn't learn this from Firefly, but I always keep a cricket bat within arm's reach, just in case.

____________________________________________________
They could not take the sky from them -
Our Big Damn Heroes made a film!
I'm gonna see Serenity then
go back the next morning and see it again.
Cuz no one at Fox knew this show had no equal
C'mon Universal, and greenlight the sequel!

Click on my profile for my Annoyingly Long List of Firefly Links.

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Tuesday, June 6, 2006 3:36 PM

JIGMAN

Of course, you find a good choke point, and you hold the line. And if the ruttin' blast doors won't close, then try to plug the hole with corpses. Finally, bring more ammo than three mags and your swingin' cod. Oh yeah, also make sure the crates you use as barricades don't go 'boom'.

-------------------------------------------------
All good things must come to an end.

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Tuesday, June 6, 2006 3:50 PM

TEALCANDTRIP

Don't worry about it.

Cause 'morbid and creepifying, I got no problem with.'

"I also hear that there's something called Firefly, which is either a canceled science-fiction television show or a new religion, I'm not clear on that. Either way, prayers for the resurrection are involved." – Lore Sjoberg

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Wednesday, June 7, 2006 8:52 AM

JERRYT

Give the Zombies Geisha dolls with big wobbly heads...they love those.

JerryT
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'll be in my bunk"

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Wednesday, June 7, 2006 11:28 AM

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Wednesday, June 7, 2006 4:44 PM

FLORALBUNNY

Jigman wrote:
Tuesday, June 06, 2006 15:36
Of course, you find a good choke point, and you hold the line. And if the ruttin' blast doors won't close, then try to plug the hole with corpses. Finally, bring more ammo than three mags and your swingin' cod. Oh yeah, also make sure the crates you use as barricades don't go 'boom'.

-----------------------
....and this time, bring the *grenades* gorammit!

bun
~6/23~Serenity/Firefly Summer~9/30~
----- why's the rum gone? 7706 -----

ETA: TRISTAN, your little guy is most engaging. Looks like ammo for the Zombuchet.

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Wednesday, June 7, 2006 5:04 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Tristan:

Is that supposed to be a Zombie? 'Cause it looks more like Yoda doing the Funky Chicken.

David

"Not completely as well as the series of Firefly..." - From a review of Serenity at amazon.de

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Wednesday, June 7, 2006 5:08 PM

SPACECOWGIRL

You destroy the Ovu Mobani demon mask, or tear a photo of them in half.
No, wait...that was "Buffy"....

"Is everyone here very stoned?"
~Spike

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Wednesday, June 7, 2006 5:08 PM

SPACECOWGIRL

You destroy the Ovu Mobani demon mask, or tear a photo of them in half.
No, wait...that was "Buffy"....

"Is everyone here very stoned?"
~Spike

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Thursday, June 8, 2006 2:58 AM

Yeah, Dayve, well, it was the best thing I could find on short notice...and who's to say that Yoda wouldn't make a good zombie?

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Thursday, June 8, 2006 3:39 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Tristan:
Yoda wouldn't make a good zombie?

*Yoda voice*

Hmmph. Zombie you would like to be. Eat brains you would. Strong with the putresence you are but much you must learn still. Eat brains or don't eat brains there is no try.

*end Yoda voice*

Well maybe.

And hey was that Dayve breezing through the thread without me noticing again.

David

"Not completely as well as the series of Firefly..." - From a review of Serenity at amazon.de

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Thursday, June 8, 2006 3:43 AM

Sorry about the mis-naming...I will not edit it so the others can see what an idiot I was...
Ok, excuse time...
1-It's early, and I was reading through this quickly.

2-I haven't yet had a full cup of coffee, so all my word-recognition synapses aren't all firing yet.

3-I am an idiot.

Sorry about that.

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Thursday, June 8, 2006 4:21 AM

REDLAVA

Bring more to the fight than three full mags and your swinging cod.

Don't call the Feds, you will just get pinched.

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Thursday, June 8, 2006 4:41 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Tristan:
Sorry about the mis-naming...

I wouldn't even bring it up except there is somebody here who does have that handle and confusion could multiply.

David

"Not completely as well as the series of Firefly..." - From a review of Serenity at amazon.de

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Thursday, June 8, 2006 5:15 AM

PAGANPAUL

Burn the land and boil the sea. It's the only way to be sure.

EDIT: Oooopppps! Sorry, ChrisTheCynic, I just saw that you posted something very similar. Oh well, it's worth repeating!

* - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - *
流口水的婊子和猴子的笨儿子。
Liou coe shway duh biao-tze huh hoe-tze duh bun ur-tze.
"Stupid son of a drooling whore and a monkey."

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Thursday, June 8, 2006 12:05 PM

it's ok Tristan we all saw what happened when I had no coffee...so in the interest of joy to all, plus returning the favor...Here's some nice blue hawaiian :)

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

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Friday, June 9, 2006 2:46 AM

Thank you, MSG!
I have promised myself not to post anything anymore until I have had at least one cup of coffee first!

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Saturday, June 10, 2006 5:42 AM